Am I Evil????
Replies
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Rubyann, I don't know how old your child is, but if it becomes a battle to miss trick or treating, you may want to look into your health food stores around you and find out if they have trade in days. One by us will swap out the junk for healthier treats the day after.
Thanks! She is rather young, almost three, so it is failrly easy to avoid things we don't agree with for now. I will check this out for sure though as we have a lot of health food stores. We are fortunate to live in a bigger city that has great Halloween alternatives. We went to a healthy trick or treating event yesterday with our neighbors and their children, along with a few others. The kids dressed up, did arts and crafts, played games and yes... they ate candy. It was just a healthier, less processed version. I thought it was much more fun and interactive than the trick or treating I did in my neighborhood as a kid. This is what we will do each year, so my hope is that the trick or treating won't be missed.0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Yes, that is exactly what she said word for word. Go with that...0 -
So very true...I don't think the OP had spared a thought to whether the candy would be good for her children. That's not what motivated her post.
It seemed to all be about her inability to not steal her children's candy resulting in her denying them a happy and fun night because she sucks.0 -
I'm considering not letting my kids trick or treat at all (when I do have kids) because it's too unsafe to have them walking around at night, all for candy that will just make them fat anyway.
Here's a completely off the wall idea........when you become a parent move to a safe neighbourhood. Then you can allow them the normal fun childhood things. My kids have outgrown trick or treating but I have great memories of going out with them and and the candy didn't make them fat because they've been very physically active (it's called participating in sports - just because you had issues don't wreck your future kids fun)
It may be safe...for now. Then some *kitten* will come by and ruin all of it. My neighborhood used to be safe, now I'm too scared to go out after the sun goes down.
And what if my children don't want to do sports? Not every child likes to run around all day chasing a ball and get tackled by other kids. Some like to read and stay inside.0 -
Oh, we are sure trick-a-treating! We are also setting 3 finger foods that are in Halloween style but healthy, to keep our strength up through the night and have a prolonged supper. Once we have the loot, we will sort through it, throw away the crap candy, and keep the better one for my kiddo's nightly treat. We keep most of teh stash in the basement, and just a few candies in the pantry where the kiddo can have her treat. She knows it's her candy. I mean, of it is that hard for you to not eat their stash, get them to pack the candy away, write their names on it, put a note: Mom, that's MINE! and other things that wll make you smile and not steal your kids' loot.
Sooner or later you have to learn to say 'no' to unwanted foods anyway. 'Tis the season of holidays, X-mas, Valentine, Easter.... Why not start with Halloween?
And, yeah, I am rearranging my entire workout schedule. I do 75 min w/o on Tue and Wed, but I am just putting in a short cardio on Wed, and moving long workout to Thursday.
There is no such thing one cannot overcome with a little planning and good thinking.
Honestly, you can do it!0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
If you live in such a a bad area I'm surprised that you would consider raising children there. As I suggested earlier to the OP part of being a parent means putting your kids first which may mean driving for an hour (what would you do if they're playing competitive sports?) or putting their best interests first and moving farther away from family......0 -
Maybe not nearby. Who wants to drive for an hour just to trick-or-treat?
Yeah if I'm having kids where I am or where my bf is currently living, we'd both be hard pressed to find somewhere safe unless we decide to move hours away from both of our families.
The school thing is an idea. Although that might require the teachers to actually stay after hours or give up part of their standardized test prep to let them do it during the school day. It's something to consider though.
Honestly, your (hypothetical) kids do (want to drive for an hour.) I'd honestly take the bus to get my kids to a place they could trick or treat. Unless you are living in absolute poverty and can't afford to do those things, it's one of those things you do as a parent.
I'd also move hours away from my family if it meant that my kids could grow up in a neighborhood where they wouldn't have to witness gang violence. Again, if you can afford to.
If the schools won't do it, you find someone who will. Someone will. A business. A museum. In today's internet society, you create a facebook page and go with someone who is interested. A business will do it for the good publicity and tax write off if they stay open after hours or whatnot.0 -
Very unfair to the children!!0
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Evil, no, selfish, hell yea. Here's a novel idea, let the kids trick or treat (miss the zumba class just this once for your kids) and then let them pick out a certain number they want to keep, and throw the rest away or give it away if you can't handle the temptation.
Those of you that live in such dangerous neighborhoods, or plan on doing so with your future children, check with local churches and schools, many offer up a trunk or treat option where, rather than going house to house, people set up in the church/school parking lot and hand out candy while the kids walk around in a well lit parking lot in costume. Or there are fall carnivals all over the place. I mean, surely you were planning on being with them as well? So they won't be all wandering around by themselves in a dark neighborhood? BTW, take them before its dark, that is another excellent option for the dangerous neighborhoods. Really, is it that hard?0 -
It's a tradition. It's fun. And IT'S ONE NIGHT A YEAR. Halloween is not the cause of the obesity problem in this country.Why are people so against children having fun these days?
I genuinly do not understand why most people (not you specifically) are convinced the fun has to include the candy and unhealthy treats though. We had a lot of fun at the healthy Halloween event yesterday. In fact, it is all my daughter has talked about. I think it is all in finding the alternatives.
I loved trick or treating as a kid. I loved taking my daughter when she was little. I miss being able to do it. It isn't the candy I miss. That was just part of the fun. Now everyone wants to take it away. It's not just Halloween falling prey to this thinking, but it's a big part of it. Sad. Very, very, very sad.
And for the record, I got and ate candy every year. And on Easter, too. And I wasn't overweight until I was 29 years old.
I think the problem is that generally we (Americans especially) celebrate most things (Holidays, Birthdays, Successes, you name it.. etc) with food.
Yes, only Americans do that.
And one night of walking around the neighborhood getting some unhealthy candy to eat for a day or two (and you CAN limit what they have) is going to ruin their health for the rest of their lives.
You're right. What was I thinking?0 -
Ok, as a child my parents ruined every holiday for me and my brother. My mother was crazy religious and never would allow us to go trick or treating or dress up bc she said it was "satans birthday". She also told me and my brother that there was no such thing as santa when I was 5 bc she said she felt she was "lying to us" same with the tooth fairy. I remember her calling the school and telling our teachers that we were not allowed to attend halloween parties so we would have to sit outside our classroom and do homework while everyone inside was having fun and eating candy. I will NEVER forget how I felt about all of this. I have my own child now and I will NEVER do that to her and I make holidays a big deal at my house bc of the fact that I don't want my child to be as unhappy as I. My mother still makes comments about how I raise my daughter and let her do all of these "evil" things. She threatened to tell my daughter there is no such thing as santa and I told her I would punch her in the face if she tried...
So there is your answer!0 -
personally, your kids shouldn't be punished for your own lack of self-control. this goes for anything.0
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I'm considering not letting my kids trick or treat at all (when I do have kids) because it's too unsafe to have them walking around at night, all for candy that will just make them fat anyway.
Here's a completely off the wall idea........when you become a parent move to a safe neighbourhood. Then you can allow them the normal fun childhood things. My kids have outgrown trick or treating but I have great memories of going out with them and and the candy didn't make them fat because they've been very physically active (it's called participating in sports - just because you had issues don't wreck your future kids fun)
It may be safe...for now. Then some *kitten* will come by and ruin all of it. My neighborhood used to be safe, now I'm too scared to go out after the sun goes down.
And what if my children don't want to do sports? Not every child likes to run around all day chasing a ball and get tackled by other kids. Some like to read and stay inside.
If that's your view of the world all I can say is I feel sorry for you..........0 -
Finding balance is hard, but it is what is needed here. Your children should be allowed some participation in festivities if it isn't against your spiritual beliefs. (Some people don't let their children "trick or treat" but they have other activities like Fall festivals at their church) Whatever you do, you don't want your children to learn that it is a all or nothing world. That is how we get out of control. We deprive ourselves and then we overdo it with whatever we have withheld from ourselves. So I would suggest you find something for them to enjoy for Halloween and if it is trick or treating then so be it. However, nothing says you have to allow them to gather enough candy to last them a year. I like the previous suggestions of having them sort thru and keep only a portion and donate the rest. You might even allow yourself a piece to prove to yourself you can have just 1 piece and not go off the deep end. As a parent you have the right and responsibility to limit how much candy you allow your children to consume. When my children were little they would pick out their favorites and leave the rest. We always wound up throwing about half of the stuff they collected away anyway because they didn't care for it. Christmas is just around the corner and most children have cookies and candy at Christmas too so I don't think they would be extremely deprived if you limited how much they consume at Halloween. The bottom line is, you are the parent and you will decide.0
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I have fond memories of sitting at home with my brothers and sisters on Halloween when my Mom drug her big *kitten* to Zumba instead of taking us trick or treating! It's no wonder Halloween is my favorite holiday!
Don't be that Mom.0 -
Finding balance is hard, but it is what is needed here. Your children should be allowed some participation in festivities if it isn't against your spiritual beliefs. (Some people don't let their children "trick or treat" but they have other activities like Fall festivals at their church) Whatever you do, you don't want your children to learn that it is a all or nothing world. That is how we get out of control. We deprive ourselves and then we overdo it with whatever we have withheld from ourselves. So I would suggest you find something for them to enjoy for Halloween and if it is trick or treating then so be it. However, nothing says you have to allow them to gather enough candy to last them a year. I like the previous suggestions of having them sort thru and keep only a portion and donate the rest. You might even allow yourself a piece to prove to yourself you can have just 1 piece and not go off the deep end. As a parent you have the right and responsibility to limit how much candy you allow your children to consume. When my children were little they would pick out their favorites and leave the rest. We always wound up throwing about half of the stuff they collected away anyway because they didn't care for it. Christmas is just around the corner and most children have cookies and candy at Christmas too so I don't think they would be extremely deprived if you limited how much they consume at Halloween. The bottom line is, you are the parent and you will decide.
^^ This! It seems like holidays are a perfect time to teach self control to the kids. Give them some treats, show them how to limit themselves and that you can enjoy yourself as well. If you restrict them completely, what is going to happen to their own self control when they get older and are faced with indulging too much? They probably won't have any because it was never practiced.
Honestly, we never made a big deal of candy in my house, and so it wasn't a big deal to me. I would eat some and the rest ended up getting thrown away because my mom got tired of it not being eaten because I just didn't feel the need. It was never restricted, never made a necessity.0 -
It's a tradition. It's fun. And IT'S ONE NIGHT A YEAR. Halloween is not the cause of the obesity problem in this country.Why are people so against children having fun these days?
I genuinly do not understand why most people (not you specifically) are convinced the fun has to include the candy and unhealthy treats though. We had a lot of fun at the healthy Halloween event yesterday. In fact, it is all my daughter has talked about. I think it is all in finding the alternatives.
I loved trick or treating as a kid. I loved taking my daughter when she was little. I miss being able to do it. It isn't the candy I miss. That was just part of the fun. Now everyone wants to take it away. It's not just Halloween falling prey to this thinking, but it's a big part of it. Sad. Very, very, very sad.
And for the record, I got and ate candy every year. And on Easter, too. And I wasn't overweight until I was 29 years old.
I think the problem is that generally we (Americans especially) celebrate most things (Holidays, Birthdays, Successes, you name it.. etc) with food.
Yes, only Americans do that.
And one night of walking around the neighborhood getting some unhealthy candy to eat for a day or two (and you CAN limit what they have) is going to ruin their health for the rest of their lives.
You're right. What was I thinking?
I do not think one of us is "right" and the other "wrong". We simply have different views on an issue. People often do, so I thought I would offer my perspective as well as what we use as a fun and healthy alternative for the kids in my family. That way if she wants, Zumba mom can do Halloween with her kids, not have the temptations and still make her zumba class. No sweeping generalization about ruining ones kids health for life, just an alternative if you do not want the candy and unhealthy treats. We do not. I really don't see the issue with that and do not think it is sad at all.0 -
Finding balance is hard, but it is what is needed here. Your children should be allowed some participation in festivities if it isn't against your spiritual beliefs. (Some people don't let their children "trick or treat" but they have other activities like Fall festivals at their church) Whatever you do, you don't want your children to learn that it is a all or nothing world. That is how we get out of control. We deprive ourselves and then we overdo it with whatever we have withheld from ourselves. So I would suggest you find something for them to enjoy for Halloween and if it is trick or treating then so be it. However, nothing says you have to allow them to gather enough candy to last them a year. I like the previous suggestions of having them sort thru and keep only a portion and donate the rest. You might even allow yourself a piece to prove to yourself you can have just 1 piece and not go off the deep end. As a parent you have the right and responsibility to limit how much candy you allow your children to consume. When my children were little they would pick out their favorites and leave the rest. We always wound up throwing about half of the stuff they collected away anyway because they didn't care for it. Christmas is just around the corner and most children have cookies and candy at Christmas too so I don't think they would be extremely deprived if you limited how much they consume at Halloween. The bottom line is, you are the parent and you will decide.
Great advice!0 -
Edit below0
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I cannot think of anything I would rather do on Halloween then spend it with my children while we all go trick or treating.0
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It's a tradition. It's fun. And IT'S ONE NIGHT A YEAR. Halloween is not the cause of the obesity problem in this country.Why are people so against children having fun these days?
I genuinly do not understand why most people (not you specifically) are convinced the fun has to include the candy and unhealthy treats though. We had a lot of fun at the healthy Halloween event yesterday. In fact, it is all my daughter has talked about. I think it is all in finding the alternatives.
I loved trick or treating as a kid. I loved taking my daughter when she was little. I miss being able to do it. It isn't the candy I miss. That was just part of the fun. Now everyone wants to take it away. It's not just Halloween falling prey to this thinking, but it's a big part of it. Sad. Very, very, very sad.
And for the record, I got and ate candy every year. And on Easter, too. And I wasn't overweight until I was 29 years old.
I think the problem is that generally we (Americans especially) celebrate most things (Holidays, Birthdays, Successes, you name it.. etc) with food.
Yes, only Americans do that.
And one night of walking around the neighborhood getting some unhealthy candy to eat for a day or two (and you CAN limit what they have) is going to ruin their health for the rest of their lives.
You're right. What was I thinking?
I do not think one of us is "right" and the other "wrong". We simply have different views on an issue. People often do, so I thought I would offer my perspective as well as what we use as a fun and healthy alternative for the kids in my family. That way if she wants, Zumba mom can do Halloween with her kids, not have the temptations and still make her zumba class. No sweeping generalization about ruining ones kids health for life, just an alternative if you do not want the candy and unhealthy treats. We do not. I really don't see the issue with that and do not think it is sad at all.
KUDOS TO YOU AND YOUR HUBBY. Your little girl is one of the most well rounded children (for being almost 3) that I have ever come across. She is allowed to partake in said "Holidays" throughout the year, but that fact that you are teaching and showing her that there are healthier alternatives is to be commended.
No one poster is right, no one poster is wrong just like you said - but to condemn those who are going with the traditional way of what society says the holiday is about is just plain ignorant in my opinion (like others on here are doing). We are all entitled to raise our children the way we see fit. You can offer your opinion just as any one else can, but when you put someone down for theirs you become the one in the wrong (as others have done to you, not that you did to them
)
I can only hope the OP finds a happy medium for her kids, herself, and her family (regardless of what anyone here thinks is appropriate).0 -
No one poster is right, no one poster is wrong just like you said - but to condemn those who are going with the traditional way of what society says the holiday is about is just plain ignorant in my opinion. We are all entitled to raise our children the way we see fit. You can offer your opinion just as any one else can, but when you put someone down for theirs you become the one in the wrong.
So which is it? No one is right or wrong, but those that disagree with you are ignorant?0 -
It's OK mom. You go do Zumba. I don't need to trick or treat this year.
aha!!! I literally laughed out loud forreal...glad I have a office...and to answer the OP yes you are evil..Because u are a sugar addict you deprive your children from being children..its one day a year for goodness sakes!!...and you evidently already knew the answer to this question which is why u asked it in the first place. Take the kids Trick or Treating and quit being so selfish!0 -
Evil? No.
Selfish? VERY0 -
No one poster is right, no one poster is wrong just like you said - but to condemn those who are going with the traditional way of what society says the holiday is about is just plain ignorant in my opinion. We are all entitled to raise our children the way we see fit. You can offer your opinion just as any one else can, but when you put someone down for theirs you become the one in the wrong.
So which is it? No one is right or wrong, but those that disagree with you are ignorant?
No reread it, I said when you put someone down for theirs, you become the ignorant one. You can offer yours, just as I can mine, but don't make mine any less value of yours.0 -
Can someone else take them? Personally I would try to overcome your weaknesses so you can be with your children and let them be children, but that's just me. I missed my 2 1/2 hour workout Saturday to take ds to a parade and a carnival. It's called being a parent.0
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I think going to ZUMBA sounds awesome. If you want something to do with the candy you can look into going to an Elementay or local school and some have been donating to the troops overseas or atleast that it here in VA.0
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...yeah, good luck finding a safer neighborhood. The neighborhoods that used to be safe no longer are.
Hmmm...hopefully they'll go along with that. >.<
It's hard to believe there is nowhere that has a safer neighborhood. You can even take kids to shopping malls for trick or treating. As a parent, talk to the neighborhood schools about having trick or treat indoors at the school. You can do your part to make that happen. Besides, you don't have children yet. Who knows where you will be living? If children are taught from the start that Trick or Treating is about fun and giving to others, it won't be something to go along with. It will be what they know.
Maybe not nearby. Who wants to drive for an hour just to trick-or-treat?
Yeah if I'm having kids where I am or where my bf is currently living, we'd both be hard pressed to find somewhere safe unless we decide to move hours away from both of our families.
The school thing is an idea. Although that might require the teachers to actually stay after hours or give up part of their standardized test prep to let them do it during the school day. It's something to consider though.
Never have children..they will hate you...yeah that was harsh..but so what..smh@some of these comments0 -
No one poster is right, no one poster is wrong just like you said - but to condemn those who are going with the traditional way of what society says the holiday is about is just plain ignorant in my opinion. We are all entitled to raise our children the way we see fit. You can offer your opinion just as any one else can, but when you put someone down for theirs you become the one in the wrong.
So which is it? No one is right or wrong, but those that disagree with you are ignorant?
No reread it, I said when you put someone down for theirs, you become the ignorant one. You can offer yours, just as I can mine, but don't make mine any less value of yours.
Ah, I see it now. I did read it wrong!0 -
I'm considering not letting my kids trick or treat at all (when I do have kids) because it's too unsafe to have them walking around at night, all for candy that will just make them fat anyway.
They aren't alone, you are with them. In regards to candy, I do not let my children gorge on candy never have never will. They get to eat 2 pieces when they come home and get one treat a day for a specific amount of time and that is it. You control what they get don't kill it for them. being an adult is ****ty and no more innocent fun. Let them enjoy being kids.
Even if I'm there with them, they can still get hurt. There have been so many kids shot and killed on Halloween night in my area because of stupid gang fights and such. I would rather have my kids live and be healthy than have ****ty candy and increase the risk of them dying.
That sounds like a lovely idea...if I can get the father to cooperate and not sneak them candy when I'm not looking. Training him to eat well will be harder than getting the kids to eat right. *sigh*
You know what ruins your childhood? Getting really overweight when you hit puberty and no one wants to be your friend because of it. I don't want my kids to go through the same thing as I did.
Um ever thought of moving your kids out of the ghetto?0
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