Am I Evil????
Replies
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Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...0 -
I say take them trick or treating and go with them. You can get in the exercise you want by walking around and carrying some of their candy. Afterwards find a charity close by and donate some of your candy. There are many children's hospitals who use Halloween candy for the Holidays. In our area there are several dentists who will pay the kids for a certain amount of candy, maybe you could check into that for your area. Good luck.0
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I agree with just about everyone (on the first page). It's not fair to punish your kids when they didn't do anything wrong. It's one thing if you made a decision like, "We don't celebrate a holiday based in pagan rituals with satanic/demonic/witchcraft tie-ins and blah blah blah" or "We don't allow candy in the house" where your decision is rooted in what you believe is in their best interests, but your motivation here is entirely selfish--you want to go to Zumba and you lack the self control to stay out of their candy.
Like so many other parenting questions, it all comes down to why you're doing it. It's like asking "Is it okay to spank my kid?" Depends on why you're doing it. As a consequence = not my preferred method of discipline, but okay. You're really doing it because you're super pissed = not okay.
In your case, you're doing what you want, not what you think is best for your kids. It's not the worst parenting decision in the world, but it still kinda sucks.0 -
I find its always best for a parent to put themselves first before the kids,no wait sorry I got that the wrong way round.0
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If you were my mom, this is what I would do if you picked Zumba over Trick or Treating.It's OK mom. You go do Zumba. I don't need to trick or treat this year.
Some people just want to see the world burn!0 -
It's not evil. But it's extremely selfish.0
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Kinda, I have to take the side of the kids. So they're denied the joy of Halloween because you lack self control? And I get it, sugar is a gateway for me. But at the end of the day I am still in conrol. If I choose not to control it then that is on me too.
On the other hand - so they're (kids) denied the joy of eating nutritious foods because of a silly tradition that no-one really knows the origins of? Well done the OP for standing up to convention and opting out.
What to do? Go to your Zumba class and have a great workout then come back and have apple bobbing games, making low sugar gingerbread biscuits together, making a nutritious fruit punch with spices and dried fruit - if you feel up to it after Zumba you could even let the kids invite some of their friedns over so they can feel some REAL Halloween energy vibes instead of this plastic and junk food crap we accept from goodness knows where these days.
So - you can have both!0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality0 -
Ok, as a child my parents ruined every holiday for me and my brother. My mother was crazy religious and never would allow us to go trick or treating or dress up bc she said it was "satans birthday". She also told me and my brother that there was no such thing as santa when I was 5 bc she said she felt she was "lying to us" same with the tooth fairy. I remember her calling the school and telling our teachers that we were not allowed to attend halloween parties so we would have to sit outside our classroom and do homework while everyone inside was having fun and eating candy. I will NEVER forget how I felt about all of this. I have my own child now and I will NEVER do that to her and I make holidays a big deal at my house bc of the fact that I don't want my child to be as unhappy as I. My mother still makes comments about how I raise my daughter and let her do all of these "evil" things. She threatened to tell my daughter there is no such thing as santa and I told her I would punch her in the face if she tried...
So there is your answer!
You are the best mom EVER!!!
Seriously, my aunts are just like your mom and what happened when the kids grew up?.....they rebelled like crazy.
all along, i was supposed to be the 'evil' child. pffft.
As for the OP,Let your kids have some fun! If you don't have the will power to stay our of their candy, then you have a hell of a lot of other issues you need to deal with.
Halloween is STILL a very big thing for me and my family. It is our favorite holiday; even I (and dad if he doesn't work) get's dressed up to take them trick or treating. it's about Fun, and imagination. Not about becoming lazy, fat diabetics before they hit 13.0 -
Woof, okay, the horse is dead and puply now.
I think the overall message is made ... yes, it would be considered a poor choice to side with your Zumba class over your children's enjoyment of a once a year event. That said though, there are a LOT of great suggestions for alternatives or even strategies.
The conversation over wether or not to do so at all in certain neighborhoods, rules, etc, has become a secondary topic in this thread. Probably better to move that to another thread. I would side on going the extra mile for your kids, but everyone's ways are different, and everyone's entitled to raise their kids as they see fit.
I hope we can keep this a little civil, this is turning to ugly real fast.0 -
Okay, maybe I'm missing something here, but:
WHY
CAN'T
SOMEONE
ELSE
TAKE
THEM
TRICK-OR-TREATING?0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
look up to the sky and see0 -
-_-;
Not evil, just mean.0 -
Ok, so first you are minimizing the real meaning of the word evil. And instead you are being selfish to go to Zumba instead of celebrating Halloween with your children if they are still at an age that it is important to them (it's just one day). There are lots of things you can do and they can still get candy, just not so much. And you will need to restrain yourself from eating THEIR candy. There are also exchange programs where you can exchange the excess candy for something else for the kids, look it up in your area. If we get more than the kids can eat, I sometimes have my husband bring it to work with him to share. You have a lot of options other than going to Zumba or eating your children's candy. You just need to look it up, ask around, be resourceful. Halloween party. Halloween dance party. Unitarian Universalist church party. Mall. Community events galore.0
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Evil, no. Selfish, yes. Why should your kids miss out on a fun (once a year) night? If you want to Zumba you can get up earlier in the morning, or do it later after the kids are in bed (assuming you have it on DVD), or re-arrange your schedule and do it on a different day. If you work, take a walk on your lunch hour that day instead (better than nothing). It's great that you are that committed to your exercise program, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your kids. It's not their fault your workout conflicts with their Trick or Treating, and it's not their fault that it's easier to say "no" to them than it is to say "no" to the goodies. Give them a break - they'll be too big to Trick or Treat before you know it.
We all have our weaknesses, and I'm sure that sugar is a big one for many of us (myself included). This is the time you put yourself to the test. It's o.k. to have a piece of candy or two, just don't go overboard. I love, love, love candy, but my kids are trick-or-treating this year, and we are handing out the "good stuff", not some boring old pretzels or something healthy. I'm not going to lie, I raided our Halloween candy and had a fabulous Fun-Sized Butterfinger last night, but just one. You can do it if you really really want to.
Take them Trick-or-Treating.0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
look up to the sky and see
0 -
Yeah, I would at least come up with some sort of other activity/idea/or limitation of trick or treating time frame. Take them, but only allow them 30 minutes. That way they're not getting a huge bag of candy, and you still have time to go to zumba. Or come up with some sort of other activity for them. I agree that your kids should not be punished for your lack of self control. Trick or treating is a big deal for a lot of kiddos!!
This is basically what I was thinking. If you have five kids, and they take in enough candy to fill half a garbage bag...regardless of who eats it, NOBODY really needs that much. Take them out for a little bit, tell them to pick out their favorites and keep them for themselves. You guys can throw out/donate/whatever the rest. Every year when we went trick-or-treating, my mom would sort through the candy that my brother and I received. I had a spacer and we both have bad enamel, so in addition to sorting out the unwrapped/funky-looking candy, my mom got rid of chewy candy like Laffy Taffy and gum, anything with caramel, and things that we didn't like. You can do something like that with your kids as well to kind of cut down on what's available to you AND them.
EDIT - Halloween was my favorite day of the year for the first 3/4 of my life to date (I'm 21 - it's less exciting now, but I still like it). There were a couple of years that my brother and I didn't go TOTing because our parents were sick or busy. I don't think your kids should have to sacrifice because you lack self-control, but ultimately, you're in charge; they have to follow your rules OR let them go with friends and maybe let the friend keep anything that your kids can't/won't eat within a couple of days.0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
look up to the sky and see
heh
and
to no trick or treats!!!!!!!!!!! 0 -
I have two little ones. My oldest now 5 has great teeth but no self control, she stole candy between meals and in the night every chance she could last Halloween. my youngest now 2 has horrible teeth and due to that has been sugar free for just over 6 months. I of course am here on MFP so candy is not on my agenda and to be supportive I went sugar free with the toddler back in April. The last sugar either of us had was her birthday cake. Even still they will get to trick or treat. They will get to eat as much as they want Halloween night, in fact I dont care if they eat so much they get sick on it, that's what we all wanted to do as kids anyway. I will simply avoid it because I don't know if I could eat just one so I won't even bother to try moderation. The only catch is the next day all the rest of the candy leaves the house. my approach so I don't have a set back on my own diet is to either chew gum or nibble on healthy snacks like carrots and simply not touch the candy.0
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Life is about challenges.... if we choose not to face them, we will not grow from experiences. If you choose to take your kids trick or treating, and you fall off the wagon with the candy...... the challenge is to not let it define you or the rest of your life. Get back to your healthy lifestyle and move on. Right now I struggle with weekends and making good choices when I am with friends and family. I refuse to skip out on fun family functions because I can't control myself.... I am in the process of figuring out what I can do to stay on track and still have fun.... it's a challenge, but I will find a balance if I stick to it.
And no, you are not evil.... no one here can judge, because there is no one here that has never been selfish at one time or another...0 -
She's not doing it to "stand up to convention." She's doing it because she doesn't want her kids to have candy that she lacks the self control to NOT eat. And because she'd rather go to Zumba. It has nothing to do with bucking tradition; it's about what she wants to do instead.
On the other hand - so they're (kids) denied the joy of eating nutritious foods because of a silly tradition that no-one really knows the origins of? Well done the OP for standing up to convention and opting out.Kinda, I have to take the side of the kids. So they're denied the joy of Halloween because you lack self control? And I get it, sugar is a gateway for me. But at the end of the day I am still in conrol. If I choose not to control it then that is on me too.0 -
I work with kids. I see how sad they are when they hear they don't get to dress up at school and they can't talk Halloween in class. Kids love this night and you really should let them go. It's a fun time for the kids when they come to school Nov 1st and everyone is wired tight on candy and telling all of their stories. The kids who didn't get to go have to try and come up with reasons why. Some play it cool and say "I'm just not into Halloween" and some sadly admit they aren't allowed to go. Your kids will have to say "Mom wouldn't let us go because she had Zumba class." Don't do this to your kids especially over something like a diet. Life happens and you can not hide from sugar and the fact that food will be in your life forever. If you just can't find the will power to avoid the candy (even for the benefit of your kids) why don't you limit the time they go trick or treating or the amount of time the kids have the candy in the house or have the kids hide it from you and just don't go looking for it, then at least the kids get to have fun. Your kids will remember and talk about great Halloweens the rest of their lives and trust me your kids will remember the year that mom wouldn't let them go because she was too worried about Zumba.0
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And that's what makes this so freaking sad.
She's not doing it to "stand up to convention." She's doing it because she doesn't want her kids to have candy that she lacks the self control to NOT eat. And because she'd rather go to Zumba. It has nothing to do with bucking tradition; it's about what she wants to do instead.
On the other hand - so they're (kids) denied the joy of eating nutritious foods because of a silly tradition that no-one really knows the origins of? Well done the OP for standing up to convention and opting out.Kinda, I have to take the side of the kids. So they're denied the joy of Halloween because you lack self control? And I get it, sugar is a gateway for me. But at the end of the day I am still in conrol. If I choose not to control it then that is on me too.
Abstaining for religious reasons = respectable.
Abstaining to buck society = reasonable.
Abstaining because you're being selfish and you have no self control = cruel to the kids.0 -
Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
look up to the sky and see
I'm just a poor boy
I need no sympathy0 -
1. Uh, we DO know the origins of this tradition. They go back centuries, in fact, and are well documented. Do a little reading.On the other hand - so they're (kids) denied the joy of eating nutritious foods because of a silly tradition that no-one really knows the origins of? Well done the OP for standing up to convention and opting out.
2. Her kids should miss out on some childhood fun to "buck society"? Is Halloween really the fight to pick on that one?0 -
For the woman bent on not letting her kids go trick or treating in her ghetto neighborhood: have you thought of taking the kids to the mall? Here in Canada, every store in the mall will have their employees dress up and they hand out candy. It' was the best day of the year. I got to see every cute little creature under the sun and it was safer for some parents then walking around wherever.
As to the OP, this is so selfish. Halloween was my favorite day out of the year growing up. My parents couldn't always go, so I would take my siblings (4 of them), being that I was oldest, out to trick or treat for an hour and come home. My parents went through the candy with us and we were able to keep only so much. My parents never told us we couldn't enjoy an awesome holiday because they couldn't take us, didn't want to take us, or whatever. This is mean.
I can't wait until your kids go "Hey mom, you can't go to zumba tonight because I've decided to be sick and make myself *kitten* my pants so you have to deal with this".0 -
Can someone take them for you? Do they have friends they could go with? I understand wanting to work out instead and I can also understand not wanting the trigger foods in the house, but they won't understand. I think they should be able to go.0
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Your are very welcome! :happy:
But if you really think of smothering your kids like that... dont have any..... :indifferent: sorry I am direct and honest... but just dont....
So wanting my children to not get shot by gang members and to eat healthy is smothering, then what kind of parent should I be? Suuuuure, eat all the fatty foods you want and then dance in the middle of traffic at night. I wouldn't want someone on the internet to think I'm no fun!
Is this real life.
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide...
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
look up to the sky and see
I'm just a poor boy
I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go0 -
Thanks everyone....even those with the brutally honest answers. I did forget to add that Halloween is my birthday, I'm a single mom and my kids dad have kidney shutdown from diabetes.
Anyways, I promise I will take my kids trick or treating let them eat some candy and take the rest of the candy to the dentist to get some $$$$. Also, focus on Trick or Treat for UNICEF. Thanks for all the great ideas.0
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