No Children - Lifestyle Choice

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  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
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    Perhaps this has already been stated, (and this is coming from someone who is 30 and desperately wants a child but I also know that I am not in the right place for it in my life), but I think the notion of someone being "selfish" for not wanting children comes from an idea that these people do not want to sacrifice their lifestyle and society telling them that that is not okay. I had this conversation with my hair dresser after he got married. He and his wife bought a big house with way too many rooms for two people, so I just assumed that they were planning on having children. I made a comment to him about it, and he said that neither of them want children because they're "selfish." What he meant was that they did not want to give up their lifestyle. They have numerous nephews and nieces, but they don't want any of their own because they want to be able to eat out at nice restaurants every night and travel whenever they want (his words). I think this notion of selfishness comes from society saying that one is supposed to have children. If you do not want to bring a child into this world, then that is not selfish at all. In fact, I think the opposite would be selfish.
  • coastie_wife07
    coastie_wife07 Posts: 99
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    I'll be 24 and have two wonderful daughters. My first one was not planned I was 17 in high school, but her fathe and I got married and now we added by choice another child into our world.

    I respect the choie of not having children, if you don't feel like it is for you then do not do it.

    For the woman I saw that called them little sh&ts though, that was not nice and I am glad you do not have kids.
  • needles85365
    needles85365 Posts: 491 Member
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    I chose not to have kids. Work with kids for a living (RN in the ER), love my nieces and nephew but totally enjoy going home to a quite, clean, sane house.
  • gmctech
    gmctech Posts: 103 Member
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    I know you were looking for women to chime in here about your post but I thought I'd drop in and say a word too...

    I'm a man of 37 and have NEVER wanted children... I just have never had any paternal instinct and find infants quite annoying. I have nieces and nephews and just prefer to be the cool uncle that livens things up every now and then. :)

    I find it refreshing to see so many women here that are confident and happy with this decision about themselves because most women I meet and date think I'm off or there's something wrong with me because I don't ever want children. I make it pretty clear when getting involved with a woman about my decision and it's usually a deal breaker for them. So this leads me to believe that we all are still a big minority in today's society.

    I too also sick and tire of the people who always say "you just can't understand it till you have children of your own"... Well I am darn sure I'd be unhappy and not a great dad. I think it's a responsible decision for a person like myself who knows they're not good parent material. I'm a spontaneous person who enjoys his freedom and to have a child for the sake of having one would be a disservice to them because I just wouldn't be the good type of dad that their friends would likely have. I get flak from people all the time when I explain my decision to them, and yes they are almost always parents themselves.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I think probably the best time to have a baby (same for starting a career) is when you're too young to know what it costs.

    Probably. When you add up all the numbers and analyze all the factors, the picture can take on a new form.
  • slowly_changing12
    slowly_changing12 Posts: 192 Member
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    i dont want children and cant stand children..........i am too self-centered to think of someone else and I am just being honest with myself........I always put up a front when I come in contact with children.....treat them nice and respectly and be happy when their parents take them back lol.
  • Kaydoggie
    Kaydoggie Posts: 98 Member
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    Im 33, never wanted kids ever. 2.5 years ago I finally told my family doctor I wanted to do something about it,Got my tubes tied, Haven't looked back since!!!
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
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    not a woman but I'm chiming in as a DO NOT WANT kids person. I've been called "selfish" for that..LOL> Yeah, let me have a kid I don't want or ready for just because its the "normal" thing to do.

    I don't want the responsibility. I have enough of my plate taking care of myself.
    I want to go where I want, when I want without having kids to worry about.
    I want to buy what I want when i want not worrying about kids to feed/clothe and all that.

    I can't stand crybaby kids. Especially in the stores. Parents...shut your loud mouth kids up.

    I remember the day when my mom would beat the **** out of us to discipline us...belt, wooden spoon...the good ol days! Touch a kid now, CPS gets called on you. Kids need a good beating now and then to keep them in place.

    Another thing..."what about the children" when it comes to censoring things like music, movies, tv shows, sex, violence, games...LOL...kids hear/see WAY worse in the schools they're going to.

    This world we live on seems to get crappier every year...why would I even want to bring someone into this place?

    No kids fo' lyfe.
  • supahstar71
    supahstar71 Posts: 926 Member
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    41, no kids. Just how I like it. I feel very fulfilled with my marriage, career, friends, family and fur babies.


    It's interesting the responses a female gets for not wanting children, particularly from women...like its unnatural or unfeminine or like we're from another planet. I used to dread going to baby showers because I'd have to face the inevitable onslaught of comments like, "oh you'll change your mind" and "but you'd make such a great mom". Whatevs. I'm content and I'm not questioning their choices.


    Cheers to you ladies. :flowerforyou:
  • katellanova
    katellanova Posts: 204 Member
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    I'm 50 and childless by choice. Unlike most of you who say they like kids but just didn't want one of their own, I've NEVER liked children. Can't stand them. Noisy, smelly, messy little *kitten* factories. I truly have never had a maternal feeling at all. I'm one of those rare women who find the whole concept of pregnancy revolting. I don't think pregnant women "glow" at all - at least, not to me. Like someone already said, the human race is grossly over-populated, so I don't think my decision to abstain from parenthood is a detriment to our survival as a species. And, obviously, I'm not cut out for it.

    What chaps my *kitten* are the people who tell me I'm not a "real" woman because I feel this way. Jeez, I'm not just a walking uterus. I can, and have, contributed as much, if not more, to the betterment of society than most of the self-absorbed soccer moms I know. And you never hear anyone tell a man that he's somehow defective if he doesn't want kids. Somehow, that just enhances his image as playboy or something.

    I know my opinion is unpopular in our current baby-crazy culture, but at least I'm honest about it. Fortunately, I'm now at an age where people no longer nag me about when I'm going to have kids. That's a relief.

    I think we may be the same person. I'm only 26 but I really cant stand children.
  • KyleneSusan
    KyleneSusan Posts: 68 Member
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    32 years old, married 4 years, happily childfree.

    My sister has 2 kids (might have another), my older brother has 3 kids (and is done), and my little brother has 1 (and will probably have more). My dad sat down next to me after Christmas last year (all of us were together in one house) and said "You know, you don't have to have kids." And I said, "Yes, Dad. I know." :smile:

    Hubby and I are not entirely sure if we're going to have kids or not. We go back and forth on the pros and cons about the whole thing. What we do know is that RIGHT NOW we are not interested. And that means we shouldn't do it. And if we never get interested, then we'll never have kids.

    I get so frustrated around Mother's Day, though. The grocery clerk asked "Are you a mom yet?" Why YET?! Is it so inevitable?

    I get really tired of the people who say that my Clock will kick in eventually. I've been saying I'm not really interested in kids since I was in my teens. And people have always said, "Oh, you'll change your mind." Well, it hasn't happened yet.

    Possibly my biggest annoyance, though, is when we mention that we're thinking about getting a couple dogs and everybody goes "Are you crazy? They're so expensive?!" and then want to know if we're going to have kids. Seriously? Math, people.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    I'm child-free for now. But am 24. Me and my husband have been happily married for 3-4 years so far and have not had any rush to have kids. We are way more career oriented at the moment. I can't imagine having children with a low income. Not with all the fun things I'd want to do myself or with them. I am also terrified to get pregnant. It really is one of my biggest fears. Which sucks.

    Somewhere down the road I'll be open to it. Especially around 30. I wouldn't after 35 since it would be about too old I think. 28-35 is my planned time to be open for it. But if not oh well! All I care about is being successful at the moment and have fun later.
  • JlenniferL
    JlenniferL Posts: 48 Member
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    Hubby and I are childfree. Been married 14 years. I was 14 years old when my parents realized 6 people (2 adults and 4 kids) could not survive on one paycheck. Both parents worked, since I was the oldest and parents couldn't afford daycare for the 2 youngest, I was responsible for myself, a sister 1 1/2 years youngest, another sister 6 years younger and a 1 year old in diapers. Hubby had the same responsibility to his younger siblings. Hubby and I are both 52, I'm now menopausal (hurray). I realized I am selfish, I enjoy working, my free time, "toys", nice trips, and if I really wanted children I would have nothing stand in my way in having them (married, single, divorced, poverty ect...). So I do enjoy the child free lifestyle.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    I am only 21 but I have never wanted children. My boyfriend doesn't either. My family all tells me I will change my mind but nope, I've never had ANY desire to have them and I don't think I ever will. I'm prepared to be judged by society for it for the rest of my life :ohwell:
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    I'm 50 and childless by choice. Unlike most of you who say they like kids but just didn't want one of their own, I've NEVER liked children. Can't stand them. Noisy, smelly, messy little *kitten* factories. I truly have never had a maternal feeling at all. I'm one of those rare women who find the whole concept of pregnancy revolting. I don't think pregnant women "glow" at all - at least, not to me. Like someone already said, the human race is grossly over-populated, so I don't think my decision to abstain from parenthood is a detriment to our survival as a species. And, obviously, I'm not cut out for it.

    What chaps my *kitten* are the people who tell me I'm not a "real" woman because I feel this way. Jeez, I'm not just a walking uterus. I can, and have, contributed as much, if not more, to the betterment of society than most of the self-absorbed soccer moms I know. And you never hear anyone tell a man that he's somehow defective if he doesn't want kids. Somehow, that just enhances his image as playboy or something.

    I know my opinion is unpopular in our current baby-crazy culture, but at least I'm honest about it. Fortunately, I'm now at an age where people no longer nag me about when I'm going to have kids. That's a relief.

    I think we may be the same person. I'm only 26 but I really cant stand children.

    Add me to this club!
  • JlenniferL
    JlenniferL Posts: 48 Member
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    Pets are cheaper.
  • ellewiz71
    ellewiz71 Posts: 9 Member
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    Hi! 41 here, married for 7 years, and no kids by choice. Nice to see so many friendly faces!
  • Car0lynnM
    Car0lynnM Posts: 332 Member
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    I'm 35. No children, and no plans to have them. It took some people a long time to accept that. But, it's our choice and no one else's.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    i love kids, but i do not have the temperament to deal with children. and i'm selfish. i like my freedom. as it is we have a dog and three cats that take up some of that freedom. i think having animals is my limit. my husband and i are child fee by choice. the only thing i regret is that our parents won't be grandparents, and they would love to be.

    i dont believe anyone should have kids if they dont want to.
  • kwest_4_fitness
    kwest_4_fitness Posts: 819 Member
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    I had my son when I was 20 and knew by 23 that I didn't want any more. People would tell me that I was crazy, that I'd meet a man and want to have kids with him. WRONG! I honestly had enough patience and time for one, barely, and that was it. When I met and married my hubs, he was fixed and I was elated. Bonus.

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