Married Women-Your Thoughts?

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  • jesse1379
    jesse1379 Posts: 239 Member
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    I mean hell I know shes gonna dig through everything I write, so why would I shoot myself in the foot on purpose?:)

    Does this not seem bizzare to anyone else?? My husband knows all my passwords and I know all his, however if I KNEW he was going through everything I did, I would be seriously unhappy. Logging on to Facebook or email every once in a while out of curiousity and/or to see what's been going on? Ok. Cool. Going through EVERYTHING he does???? That's demonstrates a huge lack of trust, IMO. That in conjunction with getting upset over a rating on a message board? No way will I be convinced that you guys don't have marital problems....

    I have wonderful wife, life, and family. I didnt mean to make her look like a nosey, or jealous wife that looks at EVERYTHING I do. She actually displays quite a lot of trust in me most of the time.

    I dont have Fakebook or any other obscure accounts on other social networks. We rarely argue with eachother, or ever have any serious marrital issues at all for that matter. I consider myself to be a very lucky man who is blessed enough to have a woman that cares enough to be jealous. IMO i think you should start worrying when your significant other stops caring, or being jealous rather than when they do.

    There is a such a thing as having healthy jealousy in a relationship/marriage.
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
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    As a married woman I don't respond to them just because I'm married. My husband would never post on those thread, as he stays away from a lot of social networking as a married man. I think once someone is married they tend to separate their selves from stuff like that; I'm not sure why he would feel the need to comment on them.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    I agree with some of the above posts that it really depends on the couple and the "rules" in the relationship. I do have a very good husband in many respects and I am very secure with our relationship. I guess the thoughts I have for my personal self posting in those type of threads is I really do not need to seek out another man's outlook on me because I have the best man in the world:) He is incredibly handsome and I am very protective of him regarding vixens ;)

    To me, and I could be wrong, it sounds like you have a subtle fear of losing him to what you think is a prettier woman than you.
    He married -you. Do you feel it is encouraging possible "vixens" It sounds as if you feel like you "married out of your league" and just waiting for "that" woman in his league to come around and steal him. That's just me though, like I said, I could be wrong.

    I wouldn't mind if my husband did, at the end of the day he's sleeping in our bed and isn't going to seek out any sort of relationship on a forum. Beauty is just that... not everyone brings lust into it.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    Not married but in a relationship.
    I wouldn't care because what is wrong with rating a person well? I think that's good. My bf and I can talk about who is attractive together and we can appreciate other people and their attractiveness ... :)
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    I wouldn't like it at all, and he wouldn't want me to do it either.
  • beccannes
    beccannes Posts: 88
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    I agree with some of the above posts that it really depends on the couple and the "rules" in the relationship. I do have a very good husband in many respects and I am very secure with our relationship. I guess the thoughts I have for my personal self posting in those type of threads is I really do not need to seek out another man's outlook on me because I have the best man in the world:) He is incredibly handsome and I am very protective of him regarding vixens ;)

    To me, and I could be wrong, it sounds like you have a subtle fear of losing him to what you think is a prettier woman than you.
    He married -you. Do you feel it is encouraging possible "vixens" It sounds as if you feel like you "married out of your league" and just waiting for "that" woman in his league to come around and steal him. That's just me though, like I said, I could be wrong.

    I wouldn't mind if my husband did, at the end of the day he's sleeping in our bed and isn't going to seek out any sort of relationship on a forum. Beauty is just that... not everyone brings lust into it.

    hahahhah ok this is the funniest comment I have seen so far! I can 100% assure you that I am not in fear of my husband being stolen by someone who doesn't even know him over the internet. To me it is simple. Respect. It is disrespectful to be flirtatious towards a married man. When I was single I would have not dreamed of behaving in this way. Now as a married women out of respect for my husband I would never behave in such a way. I guess I just have to come with grips that some women do not share the same standards as me. I never said that these "vixens" were in a higher "league" as me LOL some prob are some prob aren't. At any rate I do not base my marriage on "leagues" or "looks" and honestly have never thought of that. Although physical attraction is the main purpose of becoming interested in someone, the true concept of marriage is a lot more than how the other person looks at least it should be!
  • amp187
    amp187 Posts: 374
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    I think OP should chill out
  • Toya2xcel
    Toya2xcel Posts: 107 Member
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    ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Please say it ain't so.....LOL I'm sorry to laugh but honestly who cares that much? This is exactly why I don't ever comment in those "rate the person above you" threads because honestly WHO CARES what some stranger on the internet thinks about the way you look? The only thing that matters to me is how I think I look!
    Words can hurt people. Judging them for that doesn't really help. I am glad it doesn't bother you, that's seriously great.

    I understand that words can hurt. BUT I think we all know that it is not a healthy reaction to drink yourself into a stupor and cry all night just because some internet stranger rated you a low number. I agree with the other person that said if someone is going to take it that seriously, then maybe its not healthy for them to post in those kinds of threads.
  • LizRobot
    LizRobot Posts: 19
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    If one of the people in the relationship doesn't like it, I think they have a right to ask the other person to stop. That said, other people don't stop being attractive just because you are in a relationship. To be jealous of something like that seems kind of immature to me, like the way a high school age person would behave.
  • beccannes
    beccannes Posts: 88
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    I am sorry that some of you think that I am being immature for being concerned about this although I do know that there are a lot of people who agree with me and hold my same values. I understood when I posted this that I would have just as many people disagree with me that agreed. Thank you all for your inputs on this, what I was aiming for was different perspectives so that I could understand where my husband was coming from more in which all of you provided.
  • jdier
    jdier Posts: 110 Member
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    Only you know how your husband generally thinks and what his weaknesses are. I would go with your gut! I personally think it is completely unnecessary for my husband to post on those forums.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Responding to the first post, without bothering to read anything else...I fail to see a problem. My husband doesn't have an MFP account, but if he did, I wouldn't care one bit if he responded to one of those threads. I also know that my husband looks at women (he's married, not dead) "irl"--and I don't see a problem with this either. People look at people (and heterosexual men look at women, they're basically hard-wired to do it). In my opinion, what is important is how my husband treats me, not whether he looks at other women, or even rates them on a thread on a message board.
  • ksumme
    ksumme Posts: 283
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    For me, it would depend on what exactly he posted. For the most part, a general post of 'you look great', or even 'you look hot' would not bother me at all - especially if the person did.
  • buda12345
    buda12345 Posts: 142 Member
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    sorry honey, I won't post in that forum again, do i have to sleep on the couch tonite?
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    It's clear where the OP stands on this issue. It's also clear where her husband stands.

    OP... this is your marriage. Tell him point blank you don't like it. Your husband needs to respect your wishes and stop the behavior from happening again (hopefully, he's already decided to do this)... anything less than this is a ridiculous waste of time. Your husband seems like an unsavory character in my opinion, at this point in the game anyway. I am amazed that he seems oblivious to your wishes... and your wishes seem clear to me.

    Oh, and I'm laughing at the above poster who insinuated you feel like you are out of your husband's league... if anything, it's the other way around!
  • buda12345
    buda12345 Posts: 142 Member
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    how did I insinuate that?
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    how did I insinuate that?

    Not you! A couple posts up, sorry for the confusion.
  • marketdimlylit
    marketdimlylit Posts: 1,601 Member
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    Meh, I know my partner wouldn't appreciate it, and i'm not bothered about other men,
    I just rate the women. :)
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    I mean hell I know shes gonna dig through everything I write, so why would I shoot myself in the foot on purpose?:)

    Does this not seem bizzare to anyone else?? My husband knows all my passwords and I know all his, however if I KNEW he was going through everything I did, I would be seriously unhappy. Logging on to Facebook or email every once in a while out of curiousity and/or to see what's been going on? Ok. Cool. Going through EVERYTHING he does???? That's demonstrates a huge lack of trust, IMO. That in conjunction with getting upset over a rating on a message board? No way will I be convinced that you guys don't have marital problems....

    Not bizarre at all for this perfectly happy couple to be discussing on a message board that:

    she caught him rating other women
    she expressed her feelings about it
    he did it again anyway
    she was upset and told him so
    he said he didn't think it was a big deal and told her to post a thread about it
    she did, asking for feedback from the women of this site
    some women told her it was no big deal
    some women told her he should have stopped as soon as he knew she was upset by it
    he joined the thread
    she responded to many replies expressing just how dreamy he is
    she also posted that she is not insecure in her marriage. after all, he is dreamy
    so her snooping about what he is doing has nothing to do with any insecurity with the marriage

    How could you think any of that was bizarre? :huh:
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    Why was she snooping then?

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