Married Women-Your Thoughts?
Replies
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Only you know how your husband generally thinks and what his weaknesses are. I would go with your gut! I personally think it is completely unnecessary for my husband to post on those forums.0
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Responding to the first post, without bothering to read anything else...I fail to see a problem. My husband doesn't have an MFP account, but if he did, I wouldn't care one bit if he responded to one of those threads. I also know that my husband looks at women (he's married, not dead) "irl"--and I don't see a problem with this either. People look at people (and heterosexual men look at women, they're basically hard-wired to do it). In my opinion, what is important is how my husband treats me, not whether he looks at other women, or even rates them on a thread on a message board.0
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For me, it would depend on what exactly he posted. For the most part, a general post of 'you look great', or even 'you look hot' would not bother me at all - especially if the person did.0
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sorry honey, I won't post in that forum again, do i have to sleep on the couch tonite?0
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It's clear where the OP stands on this issue. It's also clear where her husband stands.
OP... this is your marriage. Tell him point blank you don't like it. Your husband needs to respect your wishes and stop the behavior from happening again (hopefully, he's already decided to do this)... anything less than this is a ridiculous waste of time. Your husband seems like an unsavory character in my opinion, at this point in the game anyway. I am amazed that he seems oblivious to your wishes... and your wishes seem clear to me.
Oh, and I'm laughing at the above poster who insinuated you feel like you are out of your husband's league... if anything, it's the other way around!0 -
how did I insinuate that?0
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how did I insinuate that?
Not you! A couple posts up, sorry for the confusion.0 -
Meh, I know my partner wouldn't appreciate it, and i'm not bothered about other men,
I just rate the women.
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I mean hell I know shes gonna dig through everything I write, so why would I shoot myself in the foot on purpose?:)
Does this not seem bizzare to anyone else?? My husband knows all my passwords and I know all his, however if I KNEW he was going through everything I did, I would be seriously unhappy. Logging on to Facebook or email every once in a while out of curiousity and/or to see what's been going on? Ok. Cool. Going through EVERYTHING he does???? That's demonstrates a huge lack of trust, IMO. That in conjunction with getting upset over a rating on a message board? No way will I be convinced that you guys don't have marital problems....
Not bizarre at all for this perfectly happy couple to be discussing on a message board that:
she caught him rating other women
she expressed her feelings about it
he did it again anyway
she was upset and told him so
he said he didn't think it was a big deal and told her to post a thread about it
she did, asking for feedback from the women of this site
some women told her it was no big deal
some women told her he should have stopped as soon as he knew she was upset by it
he joined the thread
she responded to many replies expressing just how dreamy he is
she also posted that she is not insecure in her marriage. after all, he is dreamy
so her snooping about what he is doing has nothing to do with any insecurity with the marriage
How could you think any of that was bizarre? :huh:0 -
Why was she snooping then?0
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OH MY DEAR GOD! I can't believe men stay married to those chicks that put them on such a tight leash. I'm glad I respect my husband as a human more than that!0
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i rate this thread a 40
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I don't see anything wrong with it unless you've ever given you a reason to worry. a real reason like cheating.0
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Eh, you either trust him or you don't.
I trust my husband, so if he posted in the "rate the person" thread, I would be more interested in the ppl who rated him and then grill him on how he'd rate me and then throttle him for the wrong answer :laugh:
It is irrational for women to expect men not to look, or want to be looked at. If he started letting it go to his head, I would deflate it for him. After all, he sleeps with me and if his vanity needs stroking then let him have at it. If you don't trust your hubby then you should be dealing with that, rather than where he is posting.
Don't YOU like being looked at by other guys? Especially if you know it's harmless? And don't tell me YOU don't do some looking too...
Agreed0 -
My husband travels abroad about 50% of the time! If I didn't trust him I would ave been sectioned a long time ago! It's not like he's ever going to meet any of the women he 'rates' and I thought it was just for fun! If it makes someone feell better about themselves then it is a good thing!
Is it ok to say you look pretty hot too?!0 -
My husband travels abroad about 50% of the time! If I didn't trust him I would ave been sectioned a long time ago! It's not like he's ever going to meet any of the women he 'rates' and I thought it was just for fun! If it makes someone feell better about themselves then it is a good thing!
Is it ok to say you look pretty hot too?!
Well said.0 -
I am sorry, I didn't mean to call you immature. That sounded rude. All I meant is that it reminds me of how I might behave at the beginning of a relationship with someone...you know, when you are insecure and jealous. My husband and I have been married for many years, so I guess we are at a different place. I can tell him who I think is hot and he can tell me and there are no issues. We know that A.) we are committed to each other and that B.) looking at and appreciating an attractive person is just a normal part of human behavior.
If there are underlying issues of infidelity or if it just makes you plain uncomfortable, then like I said, say something. Your partner should care enough about your feelings to stop the offending behavior. But rating people on this kind of website seems pretty harmless in the scheme of things. I can't think of anyone who doesn't like to hear that they look good!0 -
I would not give a hoot.0
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I don't do it because I find it disrespectful and I wouldn't expect my husband to do it either. I understand he is a man, and he will notice a woman from time to time. It's human nature. However he doesn't have to be do direct as to be in my face about it by rating other women on a message board. It wouldn't be a deal breaker, unless he was an *kitten* about it when I brought it up that I didn't like it.0
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No, I wouldn't have an issue with my husband rating the attractiveness of a random stranger on the Internet. If he was telling a friend or coworker or someone he knew how beautiful he thought they were in hopes to gauge their interest in him, that would be a problem.0
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how did I insinuate that?
Not you! A couple posts up, sorry for the confusion.
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7
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I'm engaged but it wouldn't bother me if my fiance did that. I trust him.0
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Would not bother me but it depends on your relationship. Like if you're feeling bad about yourself and you have reason to think that your man might be checking out other women for real....but I'm not insecure about that so it doesn't bother me.0
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My other half doesn't participate in the rate the people threads, or any threads on the forums. He sticks entirely to the phone app. However, if he did participate, we'd probably look at the people above and rate together. I am secure in my relationship, in how I am viewed by him, and I trust him.
The world is filled with much beauty, in many forms, and I would no more have him turn a blind eye to beauty in a woman's form than I would to a fiery sunset or virgin snow.0 -
I am wondering. If women are that sensitive about affair of their husband with another woman, then how another woman dare to date or have an affair with a married man?
I mean If you all don't like it then how some of you can do it with a married man?0 -
im a hypocrite when it comes to this lol. i have done it, but just to see what numbers i get, but if my husband did it id probably get mad. haha. but i actually quit posting in them because i felt bad0
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It wouldn't bother me. My sexual preferences are not gender specific - and as a result my SO and I have a habit of pointing out attractive people to each other. Sometimes it's just like "Look how good SHE looks in THAT outfit" and sometimes it's, "Honey, why dont you have abs like that?" It's all playful and never ill-intended. But this is us and our relationship. We're very easy about it. We're going to be together forever - I honestly dont expect him to never ever look at another woman again. As long as it doesnt go beyond looking - I think I could care less.0
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And another thing. I dont think its that bad of a thing to post ratings. Its more so to boost the other persons self esteem IMO.
Now if he were making compltely inappropriate comments to women...then thats an issue.
^ I agree with this. There has to be some level of trust. If you feel that has been violated to you. Then you have to voice your
concerns to you loved one. :flowerforyou:0 -
communication is key0
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