RANT: I hate my teenager

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  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
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    I feel sad for the day when he comes across this on the internet from his own mother. :cry:
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    And pray. Prayer works.

    How.

    If nothing else, then by calming the one who is praying. Just because you lack belief doesn't mean religious practices don't help those who DO believe.
  • RavenBeauty87
    RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
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    I'm 25 and have an 8 months old so I can't give parenting advice but I will say my parents were great. They had their faults and some of my personality has developed because of that parenting (anxiety from mixed signals and getting yelled at when I didn't do anything and not getting yelled at when I have) however, I did things that my parents were so upset over and wondered where they went wrong. They didn't go wrong and I knew what they wanted from me but that isn't me. I don't know how much you support him (I'm not saying kick him to the curb) but support him as little as you can. Roof over his head and food (Not favorite foods or snacks just breakfast, lunch, and dinner) If he ask for anything like gas or something you know he needs make him do work for it and if he doesn't do it then say your not getting it. If he gets to the point of screaming and saying he hates you then it is working. If he throws that in your face say "You said you were an adult. I love you son but when it comes to money I'm going to treat you like a tenant and you need to earn your keep if you are not going to give me money and not get a job" I have been working since I was 11(getting paid by my dad helping him do lawns and other handyman work) then I got a 'real' job when I was 16 it is hard for me to imagine him being this way. I only read a few comments and you will hear a lot of "bad parenting" but some kids personalities are just so strong it doesn't matter how good you raised them. Hope things get better and give that boy a reality check!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    And pray. Prayer works.

    How.
    Placebo effect /
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    And pray. Prayer works.

    How.

    If nothing else, then by calming the one who is praying. Just because you lack belief doesn't mean religious practices don't help those who DO believe.

    My, that was a touchy response. I was only looking for an answer ;) "Calming" makes sense. I guess I just prefer tea!
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
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    Maybe he turned out this way because he's getting "hate" from you instead of the love a child deserves. I only clicked on this topic because I thought you were being ironic. That is shameful.
  • Chinadorian
    Chinadorian Posts: 200 Member
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    And pray. Prayer works.

    How.
    Placebo effect /


    rabbit trail.

    focus people...
    clearly this woman needs help on how to let her son be a free agent and is willing to get advice from this peanut gallery on MFP....
  • Janet9906
    Janet9906 Posts: 546 Member
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    I have a teenage son, teens are frustrating. Period, end of story. I was brought up by wonderful parents and I was a pain in the *kitten* teen.
    I love my son, he drives me NUTS on most days, but I would never use the word hate.
    You can only say so much, you can't force him to do anything when they turn 18.

    Good luck!
  • ashlensmomma
    ashlensmomma Posts: 124 Member
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    He's YOUR child. YOU raised him. Unless he was raised by someone else (I obviously don't know your family situation), this is YOUR product, MOM.


    Enjoy.

    This is hilarious. I love that because someone's child decides to be a lazy brat, that means it was the parent's fault. My parent's did an awesome job with my brother and I. They worked hard and made sure we did too.If we wanted our allowance, you bet your butt we had to do our chores, if we wanted to go out with friends, our grades had to stay up. But as soon as my brother turned 18, he moved out and got an apartment. He decided he was grown up, and wanted to live alone. He didn't finish school, and he didn't want to spend all his time working, so he quit his job, which meant he didn't have money for bills, which meant he lost his apartment and ended right back up at home.

    Moral of the story- if parents do their job right in raising their child, and teaching them everything they need to know to be a decent person, and the child refuses to take that information and do their part in bettering themselves, then NO it isn't the parent's fault, it is indeed the child's.
  • DLKeeble
    DLKeeble Posts: 200 Member
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    I am a parent of five children. Four of them males and two are still home in college. It is such a sigh of relief when they finally "mature" Times and laws have changed even from the time my two oldest were teens. Things are so much more serious regarding alcohol. Things stay on their record and follow them. We have made it clear that they will not bring alcohol in our home. We do not drink. We let them know the laws and how it can effect their future employment or other life pursuits. It isn't just fun on Friday night or whatever. It can be one beer and you be in the wrong place at the right time. Someone can hit you and cause a wreck, but if you even have a bit of alcohol in your system you will be in so much trouble. Your son is still a minor and his trouble will follow him to your front door. If he isn't mature enough to understand that, he doesn't need a passport. Don't give in and if he is so mad and moves out. Life is hard! My oldest decided he didn't want to pay us rent once he graduated from HS and he moved out and paid rent to a friend. (LOL) Anyway, he grew up fast and loves and respects us so much.
    Sometimes you have to be the "parent"
    Good luck!
  • laural007
    laural007 Posts: 251 Member
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    Never in a million years would I say I hate my child. Ever.
  • Tyyche
    Tyyche Posts: 7 Member
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    You can tell who has kids in this thread, and who doesn't.

    Just keep this in mind, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

    Growing up, say 10-14ish years old, our boy was a hellion. A real jerk to his mother, to me, to his sister, to everyone. Acted out at every chance. Crappy grades, lazy as all get out. All the while his sister was an angel. Straight A's. Considerate, kind, and motivated. Did everything around the house to help out.

    4-5 years later... our son is captain of the football team, signed up to join the Air Force to be with his uncle (a Bronze Star winner), straight A student and just as kind and humble and considerate a person you'd want to meet. Every teacher loves this kid. Helps rake the elderly neighbors yard, and turns down money, and just asked for a Coke.

    Our daughter... well she's the laziest person I know. She's dropping out of community college because it's too much work to keep good grades. Works two ****ty part time jobs and has zero ambition in her life. We "fired her" from "helping" with chores around the house because we were sick of half assed jobs and having to finish them ourselves. She has vague plans to work in a spa "someday", but can be assed to finish a Associate's degree and wasted 3 semester's of our money before telling us all this.

    My wife and I are both college educated well adjusted professionals with a wonderful marriage. We never argue, we make good money and our kids have never wanted for anything. We kept consistent rules all throughout their growing up and didn't set unrealistic expectations. In short, the normal average happy family. House, pool, dogs, white picket fence etc.

    Sometimes, people just make bad choices.

    So I'll repeat, always keep in mind, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

    Best of luck.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    jon-popcorn.gif
  • momswanson
    momswanson Posts: 76 Member
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    Folks, let's be real, she doesn't really "hate" her son, she is at her wits end, so give her a break! Having raised two lovely daughters into adults (ages 21 and 23) I get the feeling that you hate your kids. My oldest daughter was confrontational and stubborn (I have no idea where she got that from!) and I definitely had days where I wanted her out of my house! We were sad when we dropped her off at college 500 miles away, but believe me when I say that it couldn't have come soon enough! We were at each other's throats most of the last year of high school, and that summer prior to college was the longest summer of my life. We are great friends now. She has graduated from college and it preparing to enter a Master's program. She is amazing and we are great friends! As a matter of fact, she just texted me letting me know that she is looking forward to coming home for Christmas. Hang in there, it does get better. If I were to offer any advice, I would say that kids, and people in general, live up to the expectations set for them so set the bar high....give your son something to work for....and taking away all privileges, money, cell phones, computers, etc., doesn't hurt either.....it worked with my girls! Good luck!
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
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    To all the haters that are blaming her (the OP) for how she "may" have raised her child.... STFU. Not every problem is traced back to the parents. If i acted the way my mother raised me or wanted me to be... I'd be dead. I grew up being told I was worthless, a broken mistake and I wasn't going to account for anything. My parents taught me nothing HELPFUL other than I had to take care of myself because NO ONE ELSE was going to.

    And you know what.... I am still here in spite of what my mother (and father) did to me, how they raised me.... why? Because I am my own person. I made my choice to NOT be my mother or father.

    OP, I hope you take heart that you have done the right things. Your son may be one of those people who have to learn the hard way, he may have to fall on his *kitten* to learn what it means to be an adult. I am glad you are trying to hold your ground and make him realize live isn't easy or fair, it takes hard work & effort.

    Hide that Passport well, if he's intent on drinking and you won't give it to him, I bet he'll scour the house when your not looking, trying to locate it anyways.

    Good luck and I hope he comes to his senses one of these days.
  • know_your_worth
    know_your_worth Posts: 481 Member
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    probably bad parenting

    ^^this.
  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
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    I hate to bring this up, but... If he's an adult, isn't it HIS passport? Give it to him... and then proceed to show him the door. If he wants to be grown up and go drinking, then perhaps he should be a grown up and support himself?
  • leolin6
    leolin6 Posts: 57
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    He's YOUR child. YOU raised him. Unless he was raised by someone else (I obviously don't know your family situation), this is YOUR product, MOM.


    Enjoy.

    Just because she gave birth and raised him, doesn't mean that he is HER product
  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
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    I hatehatehate when people say, "You're not a parent. How can you know."

    I'm not a parent, but I was the person who spends nearly the same amount of time with your kid as you did....

    Yeah, I used to say the same thing. Then I had 2 kids.
    You have kids come into your classroom and you are there to teach them a specific subject. Then they go home.
    Your only job is to teach them that subject(s) to the best of your ability and create a positive learning environment and be a good listener and quite a bit more...for an hour. unless you have full day classes, then it's 7 hours.

    But you're not financially, emotionally responsible for these kids for 18+ years. You did not bring them into this world, and after 3 p.m., they're not your responsibility! You get them for a school year and after that you might see them in the hall. you might have them for a class or two, most teachers don't.


    Exactly!!!
  • now_or_never12
    now_or_never12 Posts: 849 Member
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    Regardless of the reason of attention grabbing, a post titled "I hate my teenage" is terrible. Even if you only put that word there to get attention how do you think your children would feel by seeing that their mother wrote that.

    Your son is an adult by law at 18. Give him his passport. It islegally HIS. Regardless of why he wants it you must give that to him if he requests it at 18. He will legally be an adult and it is HIS. If he wants to be a **** about you not giving him HIS passport he can take further steps as it is legally his... not yours to control.

    You can only do so much as a parent. Give him a deadline where he needs a job to stay living with you. If he doesn't, pack his things and tell him to go find somewhere to live. He will eventually learn to do things he needs to do when someone isn't there to bail him out. By what I have read you are sadly only pushing your children away from you.
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