Guys, be honest,....

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Replies

  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

    this is a trap right? It feels like one...and worse yet, it feels like a trap for your husband....that the men of MFP get to help you spring on him....

    see...if the men of MFP say "yes...you are right" then it gives you the tools to go back to your husband and say "you don't find me attractive, I conducted a poll and statistically you just don't." Doesn't seem to matter at all that he fell in love with you or married you...which really he did...

    BUT....if the men of MFP by chance say, "I'm sorry but you are wrong, we do find overweight/obese women attractive" then it gives you the ammunition to go back to your husband and say "there are men out there that find overweight/obese women attractive and aren't afraid to admit it, but you never say it, you say thin women are hot".

    see? It's a trap...and it's a sad one...because he will NEVER be right, and you will always be hurt...and quite frankly...he married you....

    that should be all the answer you need.

    jus sayin.

    If I didn't love you before Miss Lauren (and I did)...this post would have sealed it.

    awww thanks Cris...love you too!
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

    this is a trap right? It feels like one...and worse yet, it feels like a trap for your husband....that the men of MFP get to help you spring on him....

    see...if the men of MFP say "yes...you are right" then it gives you the tools to go back to your husband and say "you don't find me attractive, I conducted a poll and statistically you just don't." Doesn't seem to matter at all that he fell in love with you or married you...which really he did...

    BUT....if the men of MFP by chance say, "I'm sorry but you are wrong, we do find overweight/obese women attractive" then it gives you the ammunition to go back to your husband and say "there are men out there that find overweight/obese women attractive and aren't afraid to admit it, but you never say it, you say thin women are hot".

    see? It's a trap...and it's a sad one...because he will NEVER be right, and you will always be hurt...and quite frankly...he married you....

    that should be all the answer you need.

    jus sayin.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    @Umeboshi, what is your purpose in this thread? Are you trying to educate or merely crush all over it? I honestly cant figure out what you're driving at.

    Possible to sum up all of your negativity in this thread into a two or three sentence mission statement? What is it you're trying to get across to us? Because right now it seems like you're saying we're all wrong for liking whatever it is we like, and I hope that's not what your point is
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    I'm sorry to be brutally honest, but it's just like that.
    Boys are dumb.

    :p
  • pixiestick
    pixiestick Posts: 839 Member

    this is a trap right? It feels like one...and worse yet, it feels like a trap for your husband....that the men of MFP get to help you spring on him....

    see...if the men of MFP say "yes...you are right" then it gives you the tools to go back to your husband and say "you don't find me attractive, I conducted a poll and statistically you just don't." Doesn't seem to matter at all that he fell in love with you or married you...which really he did...

    BUT....if the men of MFP by chance say, "I'm sorry but you are wrong, we do find overweight/obese women attractive" then it gives you the ammunition to go back to your husband and say "there are men out there that find overweight/obese women attractive and aren't afraid to admit it, but you never say it, you say thin women are hot".

    see? It's a trap...and it's a sad one...because he will NEVER be right, and you will always be hurt...and quite frankly...he married you....

    that should be all the answer you need.

    jus sayin.

    Nicely stated, Alex_is_hawks. Could not agree more.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    people are hard wired to be attracted to people with a healthy weight, it's just how it is.

    To hold it against someone is kind of harsh.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Boys are dumb.
    :p
    Boys may be dumb, men on the other hand... vary.
  • Txglitter
    Txglitter Posts: 178 Member
    I hate the word obese, but from a woman's point of view I think my husband is attractive and is considered obese according to weight charts. He is 6'6 and 380lbs. I think he is wonderful inside and out. The only reason I ever give his weight a second thought is health reasons. Even with that said I know first hand you cant lose weight because someone nags you, so I support him when he wants to "diet" but his weight just usually isn't something I think about.
  • detego
    detego Posts: 1
    .
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
    Frankly, I think if you're attracted to men or women of a larger (obese or otherwise) weight, you're attracted moreso to the comfort level because you're fat too, because it's less threatening.

    Completely disagree with this. My husband is 6'2" and in pretty damn good shape. He prefers big women because he finds them more physically attractive. Has nothing to do with comfort level.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    people are hard wired to be attracted to people with a healthy weight, it's just how it is.
    So explain people who are physically turned on to only extremely obese people, and love them for all time?
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    I want me a man then. :)
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
    I like meat on my bones!! Not unhealthy but meat in my bones is a must. Just saying.
    :happy:
    Co-sigh! :happy:
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    I want me a man then. :)
    'Spose you'll find one someday.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I want me a man then. :)

    Where exactly is it you've been looking lol? And I've got to say...even though men do 'vary' as has been stated...the odds are still not high of finding one who isn't dumb. Its just the way the male gender works...you know?

    :D
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    I want me a man then. :)

    Where exactly is it you've been looking lol? And I've got to say...even though men do 'vary' as has been stated...the odds are still not high of finding one who isn't dumb. Its just the way the male gender works...you know?

    :D
    I don't think she's met any men, considering the first statement was "boys are dumb" haa
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    i'm only 21, and "men" that i date are not older than 24. That explains a lot. :blushing:
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    I've always found the "you have a pretty face" (when attempting to compliment fat people) thing to be one of those cheap, throw-away compliments. You may indeed have the prettiest face ever, but it still implies that your face is the only attractive/worthy thing on your body, and they couldn't possibly compliment the rest of you, so your face is the only dateable aspect. It's kind of a "pity" compliment.

    Really, don't see why people bother with those. I'd rather be fully insulted than just "half" complimented.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    @Umeboshi, what is your purpose in this thread? Are you trying to educate or merely crush all over it? I honestly cant figure out what you're driving at.

    Possible to sum up all of your negativity in this thread into a two or three sentence mission statement? What is it you're trying to get across to us? Because right now it seems like you're saying we're all wrong for liking whatever it is we like, and I hope that's not what your point is

    Because you're specifically requesting this from me, I'll respond.

    1. It's great/awesome/fantastic to have preferences. Everyone has them. It's in general not a particularly nice thing to look at someone and immediately think of what they should change about themselves in order to appeal to your preferences. This way of thinking indicates a sense of entitlement for everyone to be attractive by your standards, and is general a not very accepting way of thinking. I'd elaborate but you've asked me to be brief.

    2. People can have preferences for any body type and that's awesome. A preference does not equal a fetish just because a body type is less socially acceptable.
  • TaraKathleen5
    TaraKathleen5 Posts: 34 Member
    ive always found that people become more attractive once you get to know them and know their personality
    Such a great attitude!
  • gpteran
    gpteran Posts: 37
    Women are hot regardless of their weight. For that matter any person. I agree with Umeboshi... what's the point? Especially when you start it off by saying "Guy, be honest..." Why not just say "I have to be honest... I don't find whatever!

    Hey this post isn't hot!
  • TaraKathleen5
    TaraKathleen5 Posts: 34 Member
    I think all types of people are beautiful! I see overweight men and women and think they are stunning.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    i'm only 21, and "men" that i date are not older than 24. That explains a lot. :blushing:

    Definitely lol. You have to go a good bit older to up your chances...but even then you'll probably think he's dumb...mostly because of the fact that even though you speak the same language...you think in completely different ones lol.

    So, I'm sorry to say...for now, you'll just have to be smart enough for you AND the boy :).
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
    I sometimes think my husband was more attracted to me before I lost 105 pounds...I'm not skin and bones now, just wayyyy more fit and still shapely...sigh...whatever...:frown:
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
    Personally I have found since losing weight myself, that I get a lot more looks coming over in my direction, but I think a lot of that also has to do with me feeling a lot more confident. I think people can see it in someone that they're happy and confident and as well as being slimmer, that also shows. In saying that, I have seen some women who would be overweight, but you can see that they're confident and happy, they're dressed well and I see men checking these women out.

    When I had a bit of extra weight on me, I was not happy, not confident and would try and just fit in with the crowd and wouldn't necessarily want to be noticed as such... but since losing it I wear nicer clothes and I want to stand out rather than hide away.

    I think it's not necessarily weight that's the key - it's confidence and happiness!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Its kind of funny...this thread and the posts in it can seemingly be divided into two categories. Realism...and idealism...made by those who live IN the world...accept its flaws...and do their best to do good things where they can...and by those who live outside, seemingly above the world...and wish to force everyone else to conform to their ideas of right and wrong...good and bad.

    Interesting stuff.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    there are men and women who are specifically into large partners.

    i'm not one of them

    i, for whatever psychological reasons, into thin/slim/athletically built women. i find them very hot
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Its kind of funny...this thread and the posts in it can seemingly be divided into two categories. Realism...and idealism...made by those who live IN the world...accept its flaws...and do their best to do good things where they can...and by those who live outside, seemingly above the world...and wish to force everyone else to conform to their ideas of right and wrong...good and bad.

    Interesting stuff.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Its kind of funny...this thread and the posts in it can seemingly be divided into two categories. Realism...and idealism...made by those who live IN the world...accept its flaws...and do their best to do good things where they can...and by those who live outside, seemingly above the world...and wish to force everyone else to conform to their ideas of right and wrong...good and bad.

    Interesting stuff.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings.
    Wasn't even a necessary response, just being sour towards him.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Its kind of funny...this thread and the posts in it can seemingly be divided into two categories. Realism...and idealism...made by those who live IN the world...accept its flaws...and do their best to do good things where they can...and by those who live outside, seemingly above the world...and wish to force everyone else to conform to their ideas of right and wrong...good and bad.

    Interesting stuff.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings.
    Wasn't even a necessary response, just being sour towards him.

    I second this...that wasn't warranted.
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