Sister wives
Replies
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Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, but what does that even mean? "To learn and grow ideally"? Who's ideals? What's normal anyways? Can you look at all the children out there right now and say "oh they definitely came from _____ kind of family"? No. There is no set way to raise a child. You can find children that don't know how to function in society....and they came from your "ideal" mom and dad family. You can find children that are the most kind and giving children out there....and they came from same-sex couples. You can also find the complete opposite. That's just a silly assessment.0 -
does anyone else remember how its ILLEGAL in the US to be married to more than one person at a time...just saying..maybe Im confused about the law???
the only one who is married to the husband *in the eyes of the law* is the first wife Meri. All of the other "marriages" are not legally valid, but in their religion, they are considered to be married.0 -
I have lived in 5 states and have grown to know a LOT of people from many different backgrounds.. so perhaps I may have more insight to this than others.
So, all things considered equal and good, what do YOU believe is the best family situation for raising children?
Basically saying "It doesn't matter what type of family you grow up in, you will get teased, you will have something bad happen that changes your life, you will have something so amazing happen that changes your whole life, you will go through things that just about every kid goes through in some way, shape, or form."
There is no "right way" to have a family. Every parent will make some mistake. Every parent will do something amazing in their child's life. There isn't a rule book on how to do everything. So, I believe there is no "best" family situation to raise a child. You do the best you can and love them all the way through it.
^^^ there is no best way. Even if you give them all the love and support you possibly can, *kitten* can go wrong.
Looking back, the most screwed up family I met was a religious couple who had a son, daughter and an adopted daughter. It was cringeworthy what went on in that home.
There is no acing the parental test. It's not a matter of if, it's when you screw up.The best family situation is this, The more adults to love and care, be it family, family friends or community, the better. The "It takes a village" cliche. I'm so blessed to live in a neighborhood where my neighbors care about my daughters. It's a small village we have forged, but it works. It's not traditional, but we all benefit. We all bring something to the collective table and I don't feel that this can set a family back. Does this say my kids have had a perfect childhood? absolutely not. Things beyond my control have changed my daughters lives forever.
The only thing you can do right in parenting is try the best you know how with the help of successful people.0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
Um, I'm sorry but NO. Not at all. That is total bollocks to be honest. I know many a fine person raised by same sex couples who have no issues not having a same gender parent. I also know many people raised by single parents who grew up just dandy and never had a same gender parent. so, what ideals are you exactly referring to?
Personally, I have no issue with polygamy. If you feel like marrying half the continent and everyone is of sound mind and legal age then go nuts is what I say. Live and let live.0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
^^ this - keep reading folks in this thread saying "It's all good between consenting adults" bla bla bla..... but those kids, however many they are, are NOT "consenting adults". It affects them, too....does anyone else remember how its ILLEGAL in the US to be married to more than one person at a time...just saying..maybe Im confused about the law???
*shrugs* Apparently my ex "forgot" or was "confused about the law" cuz he married someone else years ago while he was still married to me....
:laugh: Must be a law for only "smart people" to be able to comprehend. :laugh: :devil: Good riddance!!! :drinker: 0 -
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, but what does that even mean? "To learn and grow ideally"? Who's ideals? What's normal anyways? Can you look at all the children out there right now and say "oh they definitely came from _____ kind of family"? No. There is no set way to raise a child. You can find children that don't know how to function in society....and they came from your "ideal" mom and dad family. You can find children that are the most kind and giving children out there....and they came from same-sex couples. You can also find the complete opposite. That's just a silly assessment.
It's not silly at all.
People say "If they have a loving couple as a roll model, that is good" this is so wrong. Having seen first hand successful and unsuccessful relationships of both homosexual and heterosexual people, it is so not the same. Growing up with a lesbian mom, I was at a complete loss on how boyfriends should treat me. I knew they had to be respectful.. but what exactly is that? Is there a line in the proverbial sand? Then, I didn't know what would be or should be expected from me. People, as adults, can easily say "if they're loving...." but when you're coming of age, it's confusing enough as it is.0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
^^ this - keep reading folks in this thread saying "It's all good between consenting adults" bla bla bla..... but those kids, however many they are, are NOT "consenting adults". It affects them, too....
What do you mean by "step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children"? Is that what being an adult and parent is all about? Why should "we" step in and stop the parents from allowing more parents to enter the picture? How is that so awful? And of course the children are not consenting adults.....they are children. So until they are out of the house, they follow the rules set by the parents.....whether that be one, two, or five. I guess I don't understand why having four moms and a dad is so bad. Children are affected by EVERYTHING! It's your job as a parent to teach them. Do you think the children coming from this family will not be able to function in society? If so, why?0 -
It's not silly at all.
People say "If they have a loving couple as a roll model, that is good" this is so wrong. Having seen first hand successful and unsuccessful relationships of both homosexual and heterosexual people, it is so not the same. Growing up with a lesbian mom, I was at a complete loss on how boyfriends should treat me. I knew they had to be respectful.. but what exactly is that? Is there a line in the proverbial sand? Then, I didn't know what would be or should be expected from me. People, as adults, can easily say "if they're loving...." but when you're coming of age, it's confusing enough as it is.
Everything is confusing when you're coming of age. I've known screwed up children that came from every type of family you can think of. I've also known pretty amazing people that have come from all types of families. I personally come from a broken home, where both of my parents remarried...one of them, several times. Most of my friends would call me one of the most stable, grounded, accepting people they've ever met. I've met people that come from a nuclear family that are so terrified of being in love....because they don't want to fail....and then end up staying in an abusive relationship. You can never know how the children will turn out. If you remember, the columbine shooters came from very stable, loving homes. Maybe we need to start looking at outside influences, rather than just what constitutes a "normal" or "right" family. Look at the bullies out there....look at how we allow our children to treat others. Accept people, love people, be kind to people. That's one thing this family is teaching their children. I'm all for that.0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
Um, I'm sorry but NO. Not at all. That is total bollocks to be honest. I know many a fine person raised by same sex couples who have no issues not having a same gender parent. I also know many people raised by single parents who grew up just dandy and never had a same gender parent. so, what ideals are you exactly referring to?
Personally, I have no issue with polygamy. If you feel like marrying half the continent and everyone is of sound mind and legal age then go nuts is what I say. Live and let live.
Sorry but the research disagrees with you.
But unless you're willing to approach the subject with an open mind you won't ever see that.
Anyway. Wish I could give you some links but I do the majority of my research offline and honestly don't have any handy dandy links to back up my point so I'm willing to let it go. 0 -
It's not silly at all.
People say "If they have a loving couple as a roll model, that is good" this is so wrong. Having seen first hand successful and unsuccessful relationships of both homosexual and heterosexual people, it is so not the same. Growing up with a lesbian mom, I was at a complete loss on how boyfriends should treat me. I knew they had to be respectful.. but what exactly is that? Is there a line in the proverbial sand? Then, I didn't know what would be or should be expected from me. People, as adults, can easily say "if they're loving...." but when you're coming of age, it's confusing enough as it is.
Your personal experience means nothing. Sorry but you must tow the line and believe what is trendy to believe or else you will be ignored. :P
Just kidding. Of course. Glad to know someone on here understands what I was saying.
Have you ever looked into the psychology behind all this or was your life experience enough for you? I'm just curious. I was raised in a single parent home and I came out of it not knowing what to do with men. I never learned how to interact properly with the opposite sex. This was the result of being raised in a home with only one gender parent.
I never put two and two together (the fact I only had a mother and the fact that I have difficulties interacting with males) until I started to study psychology. Now it all kind of makes sense. 0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
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I've watched it a few times but it's kind of boring.
I could share; we need a wife - one who likes cleaning.0 -
i know the concept of the show (which i dont watch), and polygamy, and to each their own..personally, i think it is kind of gross..sharing 1 man amongst how many women..its like a religious whorry man..stupid..but i dont practice it, so do as they like i suppose:indifferent:0
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Best rebuttal yet.
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For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
^^ this - keep reading folks in this thread saying "It's all good between consenting adults" bla bla bla..... but those kids, however many they are, are NOT "consenting adults". It affects them, too....does anyone else remember how its ILLEGAL in the US to be married to more than one person at a time...just saying..maybe Im confused about the law???
*shrugs* Apparently my ex "forgot" or was "confused about the law" cuz he married someone else years ago while he was still married to me.... :laugh: Must be a law for only "smart people" to be able to comprehend. :laugh: :devil: Good riddance!!! :drinker:
exactly....seems kinda stupid to even want more than one spouse at a time. and entirely arrogant and self serving for that matter. IMO0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
Um, proof? What about a girl raised by just her father or a son raised just by his mother? Do they also suffer? The research I've seen says that children raised by gay parents are suffering no more or less than children raised by a mom and dad.0 -
Whoops, spoke too soon on the first page!
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For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
Um, proof? What about a girl raised by just her father or a son raised just by his mother? Do they also suffer? The research I've seen says that children raised by gay parents are suffering no more or less than children raised by a mom and dad.
Please see where I stated I can't post any proof because I don't do my research online. Sorry. I'll leave it alone and back off. I realize no opinion is valid online unless it can be backed.
Also, I don't believe single parent home situations are ideal for children either.0 -
this show is very disturbing.0
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From what I gathered from the show he actually picked the last wife, the wives agreed (who knows why...pressure from him? I imagine he would sulk like a little kid if he didn't get his own way) , but he picked her. I think he went on dates with her without even telling them.
They expect everyone to be tolerant of them but show little tolerance for other types of polyamorous relationships, one woman and multiple men for example. Quite bigoted I think, and not a good advert for this type of relationship.
He is forever running around like a chicken with its head cut off (but not actually doing much) and is thoroughly unlikable.0 -
For all of those who believe any marriage should be legal if all parties involved are consenting adults- what about the children? Do we know enough of how children are affected by it? Should we care? Or should we just step back and allow adults to make their own choices for themselves and their children? Really curious about opinions on this.
What about the kids? As long as they're not being abused in any way, it shouldn't affect them whatsoever.
Actually it does. In the case of same-sex marriages the opposite gender child will suffer. Children need a same gender and opposite gender parent to learn and grow ideally.
BUT don't take my word for it. Go and do some research. That's what I did and that's what I discovered.
Um, proof? What about a girl raised by just her father or a son raised just by his mother? Do they also suffer? The research I've seen says that children raised by gay parents are suffering no more or less than children raised by a mom and dad.
Please see where I stated I can't post any proof because I don't do my research online. Sorry. I'll leave it alone and back off. I realize no opinion is valid online unless it can be backed.
Also, I don't believe single parent home situations are ideal for children either.
So in your mind, only two parents of the same gender should be allowed to raise children because of your own experience, when other children have been raised differently and have turned out just fine.........that's a sad view.0 -
i could never ever ever share my man, haha i don't know how they do that! i would be so jealous!
here in utah it isn't such a phenomenom though!0 -
<<<<< can not share a man!
b!tches would die.:mad:
Not to mention, how can a guy handle more than one wife? I'm a handful! :laugh:0 -
So in your mind, only two parents of the same gender should be allowed to raise children because of your own experience, when other children have been raised differently and have turned out just fine.........that's a sad view.
? Where did I mention 'allowed'? I didn't. I simply said it's better for children to have two parents, one of the same gender and one of opposite gender. Sometimes the ideal isn't what we get though.0 -
I watch this show, I think it's interesting that someone can be in a relationship like that (my tiny inner feminist is thinking "men would never marry a woman with 3 other husbands" though) The only part I think is wrong, is when they find out that their children won't want to be in a marriage like theirs and they are insulted. They need to be more understanding with their children, and I am sure that the kids are picked on at school - I know they used to go to a Mormon school where it is semi-accepted (or at least more accepting than a public school) but they did just move and I'm not sure what type of school they're in now.0
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I watched it and I decided that my husband should become a brother husband. But he said no. So selfish!
LOL! If I didn't think lightning would come down and strike me, I'd totally be down with a couple of husbands. I generally have to put two guys I'm dating together to get a decent one, so what else is new?
I'm totally joking... well mostly. 0 -
From what I gathered from the show he actually picked the last wife, the wives agreed (who knows why...pressure from him? I imagine he would sulk like a little kid if he didn't get his own way) , but he picked her. I think he went on dates with her without even telling them.
They expect everyone to be tolerant of them but show little tolerance for other types of polyamorous relationships, one woman and multiple men for example. Quite bigoted I think, and not a good advert for this type of relationship.
He is forever running around like a chicken with its head cut off (but not actually doing much) and is thoroughly unlikable.
I agree SO MUCH!
This family was NOT a good way to introduce polygamy to the masses. Just my opinion.
I've actually known polygamous families who were better models then this. >.<0 -
If they are doing it because they enjoy it then I think that's fine, as long as they are providing a healthy home life for the children and are available to them.
The thing I find disturbing is if they are doing it because they think they have to for religious reasons and to get into a good place in heaven. That's a dangerous motivation for so many reasons and ways that it could go wrong in a person's life (and a child's life) and the resentment it would lead to. And it's just my opinion, but I prefer to live my life for contributing to a good world here and now, not for some imagined life after this one.0 -
It's definitely not for me... if I'm going to put my husband above all others, he better put me there in return!
What I don't understand is it's always one man, multiple women. To me, that doesn't seem right. I'm all for living how you want to live as long as you're not hurting anyone else, but I'm fairly certain all of these polygamist men would have fits if another husband was brought on board. Why is it one-sided?0 -
From what I gathered from the show he actually picked the last wife, the wives agreed (who knows why...pressure from him? I imagine he would sulk like a little kid if he didn't get his own way) , but he picked her. I think he went on dates with her without even telling them.
They expect everyone to be tolerant of them but show little tolerance for other types of polyamorous relationships, one woman and multiple men for example. Quite bigoted I think, and not a good advert for this type of relationship.
He is forever running around like a chicken with its head cut off (but not actually doing much) and is thoroughly unlikable.
No, Meri, the first wife, met Robin through mutual friends and really liked her. Meri suggested to her husband who thought she was attractive to start "courting".0
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