An observation about MFP posters...
Replies
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I think there are the tough love types....you know sometimes we really need to hear the hard and fast truth, and be willing to accept it in order to make the change.
Then there are the types that really want to help, but have issues in their own lives that can cause a post to seem abrupt or even mean, or have their messages get out of hand because they have difficulty letting go of their own issues.
Then there are the trolls. These guys (and girls) are on lots of sites and are just out to hurt and be mean. This is often intentional, and they get their jollies out of it.
I haven't seen too many trolls here thankfully.
I guess the best thing you can do is either take the best out of the post you can or ignore it. But it's not a bad idea to think about why a particular post bothers you. I find that when I'm particularly upset about something someone says, it's because I recognize that there is some truth to it and it's usually some work I need to do about how I feel about the comment (not necessarily about the comment itself)...for example, I got very upset when I got called a fat pig. I realized that was how I thought about myself, and it hurt that someone else called me what I thought about myself. Now I know I'm not a pig, but in all honesty, with more than 100 lbs to lose, yes, I am fat! That is fact so now that comment doesn't bother me. Now I'm doing something about it, so that comment generally wouldn't bother me anymore, though others might.
If you find this forum valuable, don't let anything drive you away. Report a post if you need to, ignore it if that's possible, examine it if you think there is value....
spot on (for me personally)
:flowerforyou:0 -
I like to collect the meanest ones. Pop in on their posts every now and again for a good laugh. Maybe instigate a lil bit.0
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I've noticed it got more hostile... right around the time they put in the ban on underwear photos.
Thus... Panties make everyone happier.
end thread!0 -
The only disagreements I've seen have been towards those who spout pseudoscience or make ridiculous claims/go on equally as ridiculous diets. This should absolutely be challenged because it misleads people into making bad and sometimes dangerous choices. If people cannot handle their opinions being challenged, especially erroneous ones, then the Internet is not for them.0
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I agree that there are some posters who thrive on writing snarky things to people that they might not say in real life (or maybe they would?)...but I personally am trying to focus on the positive aspects of MFP. I try not to take too much on MFP personally (just like real life, you never know someone else's story). I've found a really good support system in the people on my friends list, and the tools for calorie tracking are pretty awesome. Also, most threads are full of snark and meanness. If you want to read some nice, positive things that I read on MFP today, find the thread started by an OP named Dani, who is somewhere around 600 pounds, just starting out on trying to get healthy, and seeming very scared and self-doubting about it--some of the nicest comments I've read on MFP, were responses to her introductory post asking for support.
Yay, found her post if anyone wants some inspiring stuff to read:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/801267-about-600lbs-time-to-lose-a-few0 -
I've noticed it got more hostile... right around the time they put in the ban on underwear photos.
Thus... Panties make everyone happier.
You are correct. There were other fun things that got banned around the same time that made people so very happy...0 -
Sorry, I must clarify. When I said I had been called a "fat pig", I wasn't referring to anyone here. That was in my personal life. I simply was using that to illustrate that I wouldn't allow comments to determine my journey. The comment was said to be nasty. But I took it really badly and let it sabotage me. After examining the comment, I won't let it control how I approach things. Part of the comments is true, the other part isn't. I don't like being called names, but I don't let it define me anymore.0
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I've noticed it got more hostile... right around the time they put in the ban on underwear photos.
Thus... Panties make everyone happier.
You are correct. There were other fun things that got banned around the same time that made people so very happy...
Yep. All because people complained about them.
Then those same people (or types of people) found new things to complain about. They're never happy, will never be happy, so the only option seems to be to make everyone as miserable as they are. :grumble:0 -
I've noticed it got more hostile... right around the time they put in the ban on underwear photos.
Thus... Panties make everyone happier.
You are correct. There were other fun things that got banned around the same time that made people so very happy...
Yep. All because people complained about them.
Then those same people (or types of people) found new things to complain about. They're never happy, will never be happy, so the only option seems to be to make everyone as miserable as they are. :grumble:
Based on recent threads...
...mission accomplished?0 -
People do a lot of jumping on this site: jumping to conclusions based on what someone said and then jumping down their throats for what they THINK was said. Happened to me yesterday.0
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Forums...they're like buffets.
There are thousands of opinions to chose from. If you went to a buffet and picked something that you didn't enjoy would you go back for seconds?? Try to be helpful, try to be kind...don't egage the trolls and don't forget to tip your wait staff :-)))0 -
If each of us reported every snarky post and if the forum monitors took it seriously, we might fight the good fight and WIN!
(And by snarky I mean purposefully hurtful, shallow, argumentative and rude. We know the difference between that and a sensitive disagreement.)
I'd personally rather the mods spent their time removing potentially dangerous posts than be your personal decorum police....I think I'll pass on joining this movement.
This place is way overpoliced and sanitized of discussion and opinion. It loses a lot of its value due to that.
More energy on the forum software, less on the bridles.
Have you ever been to ww forums! Judgemental and it won't let you post if you use word hate or *kitten*. That site has made me cry and stop ww. I even went to atkins after... what a protein fat laden nightmare!
Jane0 -
If each of us reported every snarky post and if the forum monitors took it seriously, we might fight the good fight and WIN!
(And by snarky I mean purposefully hurtful, shallow, argumentative and rude. We know the difference between that and a sensitive disagreement.)
I'd personally rather the mods spent their time removing potentially dangerous posts than be your personal decorum police....I think I'll pass on joining this movement.
This place is way overpoliced and sanitized of discussion and opinion. It loses a lot of its value due to that.
More energy on the forum software, less on the bridles.
Have you ever been to ww forums! Judgemental and it won't let you post if you use word hate or *kitten*. That site has made me cry and stop ww. I even went to atkins after... what a protein fat laden nightmare!
Jane
Not that I say those words alot in writing alot.. but I do say boobs! and butt... can't post those either!0 -
I'm still waiting for the mean people to come out of their holes on this thread.
Are you saying that I'm not one of the "mean" people???
Hmmm...I'm not sure how I feel about this.0 -
I'm still waiting for the mean people to come out of their holes on this thread.
Are you saying that I'm not one of the "mean" people???
Hmmm...I'm not sure how I feel about this.
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I was on MFP over a year ago and found it to be a super helpful site for tracking diet and exercise. I also found the community to be full of supportive people who gave helpful advice, motivation and camaraderie. Even those people who gave out "tough love" did it in a respectful way. After a major injury and a pregnancy I stopped logging and participating on MFP. Now that I'm back on MFP I've been lurking through the community and see a ton of disrespectful comments towards the original poster as well as towards other people who have commented on the post. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who still hold true to my past experiences and the site is still very helpful but... wow there sure are a lot of people out there who are jerks to each other. I have been lucky enough to not experience these people first hand on this go-round but I really feel for the people who have.
Did I just miss these folks the last time I was on?
Sucks, but there's aresholes out there that don't have consideration for other's feelings.0 -
I can't believe we have another why are people mean post and that it has gone for 9 pages. That's ridiculous. More ridiculous is the fact I'm gonna give you a serious and hopeful answer.
It is a different place.
Smart people, the ones who've been really successful and learner a lot. The people who were generous and kind answering the same questions over and over and who would even apply patience and forebearance when people would argue against fact because they so badly wanted to believe a myth, those people one by one got sick of it. People would attack them. One chick went positively ape **** when smart people suggested her plan of 3 replacement shakes a day and only that was a bad idea.
It got rudr they'd respond with funny. And the funny smart people willing to help would get warnings or strikes or banned. Leaving the forums to the ketone juice fasters who use small plates before seven and tae bo so they don't get bulky because they work their workout and don't let their workot work them. A women knows their body. So they're still here or replacements.
And then there's people like me left. But this all disgusts me and I miss my friends I learned so much from and am sad they're not in the forums. Then I go in and see the same ignorant rudeness arguing the same crap and believing the same myths and refusing to consider other information without complaining they're being attacked and I decide the people left in the forums have gotten what they deserve and so I spend my time on my wall with the people who used to make the forums so fun and SOOO informative. I truly owe them for much of my success.
So you're right OP and I feel like the onceler. And I don't know how to get the truffula trees back but I know what I see around here isn't worthy of them. Continue on with your fat blasting thneeds.0 -
When I first started, I thought there were some mean people here too.
And then I realized that they aren't mean, they're just tired of providing the same common-sense, well-researched, solid advice over and over and over only to be told that they are wrong and they're bullies if they don't offer flowers and rounds of applause when someone posts a bad idea or pity party.
And....since I got myself and my opinions in check and added several of them to my friends list, I can plainly see that they are great people who really truly want to help. And they keep providing advice (over and over) despite being reported and messaged and blamed for the "meanness."
So, you'll find a lot of people here to be blunt, matter-of-fact and maybe offering advice that you don't agree with. But if you take the time to read their posts and see how much they try to help, you'll probably be surprised to learn that they aren't mean at all.
Quoted because it's spot on.
Most of the people who gave me help and great advice when I started here have since been banned. Why? Because someone posts "I'm gonna do a 14 day cabbage soup diet to kick start my metabolism!!", someone explains why this is not a good idea, and then it's all "Why isn't this site supportive waaaah!!"
Wanna find people on this site who have lost weight, know what they're talking about and are willing to help? Simple. Find people who've been banned.
x sigh x0 -
The empty vessel makes the loudest sound - William Shakespeare
Most people are very very very nice.
^ I agree with this 100%. I also want to add that I find this on here and everywhere in society.0 -
Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
I must test this...
The response I would get in my office would be worse than anything said on this thread.Maybe I miss a lot of threads but MFP is pretty tame.............go to a scuba diving site and start a thread about diving to 240fsw on air using a single 80cf aluminum tank; then come back and tell us what snarky is! :laugh:
I'll one up you - certain wedding site - and the words "cash bar".
Seriously when I came to this site I couldn't believe how nice it was.Honestly, even the people who think they are the "innocent victims" can be just as ugly as anyone else with their comments. Just watch the comments that follow - people will come in here, and agree with you about all the "meanies", and turn around and throw around insults.
One of the biggest problems I have with people who complain about how bad things are, is that most of the time the examples they use about someone being mean or snarky just turn out to be about another poster who simply didn't agree with their comment. In the land of MFP, not agreeing makes you and a-hole, bully, snark, or meanie! Some people's kids! :grumble:
Yep. It's usually the "kind, supportive, caring folk" who run around reporting every thread and poster they don't like. If you say you really enjoy Thanksgiving one of those "kind, caring" people will report you because you don't understand how hard it is to try to control your eating. Yep. No lie.
The internet is like life. Not everyone is nice. But for some reason people expect the thousands and thousands of members here to all be their friends and love them.
Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
This exactly. It constantly amazes me that people seems to think that on the internet everyone should be hearts and flowers. If you dont like someone skip there post. If you dont like the topic in a thread dont read it .It s really very simple
and yet it constantly amazes me that people seem to think that on the internet you can be flat out rude just because its the "internet" and people shouldnt have feelings. Regardless, its a form of bullying and its not okay. Just goes to shows one character AND I try to keep off the forums for this very reason. Treat others how you want to be treated...in real life OR on the internet...period.
I have a question. If you saw someone saying mean things to another person in public, would you run and tell the authorities every time? I don't tattle at home and I don't tattle on the internet. Let the police and mods deal with real issues.
Do you have any idea how many people call Police because someone said something mean on Facebook or to them? It's astounding.0 -
It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.
Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.
There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
Ha Ha
I think most of the original people that made my ignore list were paleo folks who made the most ludicrous claims that I refuse to see anything they type ever again. :laugh:
The first time someone told me legumes were poisonous I seriously thought they were trying to be funny.0 -
It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.
Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.
There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
Ha Ha
I think most of the original people that made my ignore list were paleo folks who made the most ludicrous claims that I refuse to see anything they type ever again. :laugh:
The first time someone told me legumes were poisonous I seriously thought they were trying to be funny.
Okay, fine...but when I read in your obituary that you died from acute black bean poisoning, we'll see who's laughing then.0 -
It's been that way since I joined. It seems to mostly be the members following some strict diet protocol, whether it's vegan or Paleo or eat X grams of protein, and the "look at my abs! If you don't eat like me you'll be skinny fat and never look good naked" crowd.
Those that are really just here to improve/maintain weight and health are usually pretty supportive.
There are paleo people like this? Where? I've been here over a year and haven't found any like that...and I've been looking for them. Please provide a list of names so I can send them FRs.
Ha Ha
I think most of the original people that made my ignore list were paleo folks who made the most ludicrous claims that I refuse to see anything they type ever again. :laugh:
The first time someone told me legumes were poisonous I seriously thought they were trying to be funny.
Okay, fine...but when I read in your obituary that you died from acute black bean poisoning, we'll see who's laughing then.
My husband doesn't like black beans so I don't eat too many of those. But if pinto, garbanzo or kidney beans were poisonous I'd have been dead decades ago. I doubt more than a couple of days has gone by in the past 1/2 century that I haven't eaten at least one of those.0 -
The gases created from eating black beans might be deadly. :sick:0
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Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
I must test this...
The response I would get in my office would be worse than anything said on this thread.Maybe I miss a lot of threads but MFP is pretty tame.............go to a scuba diving site and start a thread about diving to 240fsw on air using a single 80cf aluminum tank; then come back and tell us what snarky is! :laugh:
I'll one up you - certain wedding site - and the words "cash bar".
Seriously when I came to this site I couldn't believe how nice it was.Honestly, even the people who think they are the "innocent victims" can be just as ugly as anyone else with their comments. Just watch the comments that follow - people will come in here, and agree with you about all the "meanies", and turn around and throw around insults.
One of the biggest problems I have with people who complain about how bad things are, is that most of the time the examples they use about someone being mean or snarky just turn out to be about another poster who simply didn't agree with their comment. In the land of MFP, not agreeing makes you and a-hole, bully, snark, or meanie! Some people's kids! :grumble:
Yep. It's usually the "kind, supportive, caring folk" who run around reporting every thread and poster they don't like. If you say you really enjoy Thanksgiving one of those "kind, caring" people will report you because you don't understand how hard it is to try to control your eating. Yep. No lie.
The internet is like life. Not everyone is nice. But for some reason people expect the thousands and thousands of members here to all be their friends and love them.
Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
This exactly. It constantly amazes me that people seems to think that on the internet everyone should be hearts and flowers. If you dont like someone skip there post. If you dont like the topic in a thread dont read it .It s really very simple
and yet it constantly amazes me that people seem to think that on the internet you can be flat out rude just because its the "internet" and people shouldnt have feelings. Regardless, its a form of bullying and its not okay. Just goes to shows one character AND I try to keep off the forums for this very reason. Treat others how you want to be treated...in real life OR on the internet...period.
I have a question. If you saw someone saying mean things to another person in public, would you run and tell the authorities every time? I don't tattle at home and I don't tattle on the internet. Let the police and mods deal with real issues.
Do you have any idea how many people call Police because someone said something mean on Facebook or to them? It's astounding.
no0 -
Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
I must test this...
The response I would get in my office would be worse than anything said on this thread.Maybe I miss a lot of threads but MFP is pretty tame.............go to a scuba diving site and start a thread about diving to 240fsw on air using a single 80cf aluminum tank; then come back and tell us what snarky is! :laugh:
I'll one up you - certain wedding site - and the words "cash bar".
Seriously when I came to this site I couldn't believe how nice it was.Honestly, even the people who think they are the "innocent victims" can be just as ugly as anyone else with their comments. Just watch the comments that follow - people will come in here, and agree with you about all the "meanies", and turn around and throw around insults.
One of the biggest problems I have with people who complain about how bad things are, is that most of the time the examples they use about someone being mean or snarky just turn out to be about another poster who simply didn't agree with their comment. In the land of MFP, not agreeing makes you and a-hole, bully, snark, or meanie! Some people's kids! :grumble:
Yep. It's usually the "kind, supportive, caring folk" who run around reporting every thread and poster they don't like. If you say you really enjoy Thanksgiving one of those "kind, caring" people will report you because you don't understand how hard it is to try to control your eating. Yep. No lie.
The internet is like life. Not everyone is nice. But for some reason people expect the thousands and thousands of members here to all be their friends and love them.
Not once have I ever heard anyone walk into their office and proclaim, "You know.. not everyone here is a nice person!" Of course not, that would be crazy. But for some reason people expect it here.
This exactly. It constantly amazes me that people seems to think that on the internet everyone should be hearts and flowers. If you dont like someone skip there post. If you dont like the topic in a thread dont read it .It s really very simple
and yet it constantly amazes me that people seem to think that on the internet you can be flat out rude just because its the "internet" and people shouldnt have feelings. Regardless, its a form of bullying and its not okay. Just goes to shows one character AND I try to keep off the forums for this very reason. Treat others how you want to be treated...in real life OR on the internet...period.
I have a question. If you saw someone saying mean things to another person in public, would you run and tell the authorities every time? I don't tattle at home and I don't tattle on the internet. Let the police and mods deal with real issues.
Do you have any idea how many people call Police because someone said something mean on Facebook or to them? It's astounding.
no
^this0 -
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please stop taking my pump
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