Why are you single?

your not alone girl -you deserve it all... sorry about your loss.

I'll go again because it's fun.

I am single because I have had two failed marraiges. Now, at age 47, I don't feel like dating. I went through that already. My focus is on raising my kids right now. I can't raise my kids and nurture a relationship properly. When you raise kids, you already have your relationship in tact with your spouse. It's very difficult to start a new one during that period. So, I decided to take a break from dating and all that. Women my age are different. They just want to travel and do things, and I need to stick around and shuttle kids to baseball and soccer all day. And, then be home at night to tuck them in.

I enjoy being single way too much. I often wonder if I even want a relationship and if I use my kids as an excuse. I love being single. When my kids are with their mom, I turn off the ringer on my phone, lock my door, and just enjoy being alone. I just don't ever get lonely. Sometimes a little bored, but not often. It seems like there is always something to do. So, I'll probably skip trying to meet anyone, and just live alone for the rest of my life. I enjoy it too much. And, I'm kind of set in my ways at this point. I have a great routine, my life is awesome, I live at the beach, my job is good, I make good money, and I'm happy. So, I don't see any reason to mess with any of that.

your not alone girl -you deserve it all... sorry about your loss.

Aw thank you

Because I think deep inside I still have feelings for my ex. The same ex who hid me a wife that he never divorced from, a daughter, who's not even the wife's child, and a alcohol problem, and who I was living with. Basically I'm single because I am an idiot.

I haven't quite figured out how to love myself let alone someone else.

pretty much.

I'm single because
I deserve respect

A big reason is that I’m an introvert. That doesn’t mean I’m shy. I’ll talk to a group of strangers with no problem. It means that being out in crowds is more draining for me than it is for others. I’d do much better in less crowded situations like at church or engaging in a hobby (e.g. Habitat for Humanity).

I would say the biggest reason is my job. I know it sounds like a cop-out, but here’s what is provided by my work situation:

1) An extremely limited ability to meet someone at work. (I’m only allowed to be personal friends with about 20% of the people I work with, then you have to cut away my superiors, followed by the men, followed by the married women and then by the women who are in a relationship.)

2) A job that pushes me, an introvert, to do many extroverted things, causing fatigue from which I need to recover.

3) A job that doesn’t have set hours, making going out just to look in case I *might* meet someone difficult.

4) A job that has a uniform I can’t wear out in the “usual” meeting places or even public places in general. So even if I have the energy and I’m out of the office on time, I still have to go home, do a complete wardrobe change, and then go out.

5) A job with a schedule that had me “home” for 5 months, away in training 1 month, and deployed to the middle east for 6 months. This meant I was EXCLUSIVELY in the “limited ability to meet someone at work” environment 24/7 for most of the year and that, when I came home, it was hard to invest in things and people because I knew I would be leaving again in only a few months. (For my first two years, I was only scheduled to be home for 7 months, total.)

6) A job that exposes me to and requires me to focus on relationships that have soured more than on those that are good and strong.

7) 10+ consecutive years of fighting wars hasn’t exactly given many military officers an overabundance of free time to meet future SO’s. In fact, most of those my age who are married seem to have met their spouse back in college.


The other limiting factor that exacerbates these two is that I was never around when my peers were starting their relationships. We left high school single. When I got to college, it seemed people around me were either already in relationships or did not get into relationships while in college. Then, after a couple years bouncing back and forth between the US and the desert plus one year in Korea, I come back to the states and even the friend who I knew through high school and was roommates with through all 4 years of college not only had met his girlfriend at work, but was MARRIED to her.

I’m really rather confident in my ability to function in a relationship, as a boyfriend or a husband. But it’s the whole “starting” aspect that leaves me confused. It’s like knowing how to drive a car but not knowing where the ignition is.

Coz im tryingto get in the show, The Bachelor.

I have zero self confidence, so I can't imagine anyone else actually loving me to the point of not leaving me when something better comes along. Therefore, I just don't try.

Because my now former husband spent a year overseas with the Air Force, came back after putting our family through hell for a year and "realized" that being a husband and father isn't what he wanted, being tied down is boring to him. Yet he's now engaged to some woman who was a "mutual friend."

Yea. THAT's why I'm single.