I Am Adam Lanzas Mother

This woman is describing my son, my family and our lives.


http://gawker.com/5968818/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother

Sadly, this woman is describing A LOT of families.

Great piece. Thanks for posting.

I saw this yesterday..it's very thought provoking. I can't imagine living that way...Help is definitely what the writer needs but where to get it?

I read this the other day...I'm sorry you can relate so closely to it =/

Thank you for posting this.

It is powerful and tragic and a travesty that mental heath care is not given more importance in this country. That said, it's also crazy that she would have an arsenal of assault weapons and ammunition that her mentally disturbed son had access to. If my kid was even a tiny fraction of that bad I'd have the steak knives under lock and key.

Unforturnately, I read some of the comments on Gawker and word of warning they are not at all sympathetic to the author. Ms. Long was extremely brave in giving a voice to what so many families are experiencing, and got insulted for her trouble. I hope she doesn't see some of those comments.

I saw those too. It was very upsetting and almost made me delete my comment in this thread. Some people really have no idea what they are talking about. It has been heavily documented that mental illness occurs more often in men that women.

AMAZING article. A lot of things to learn from this.

Thanks for sharing. I am a younger sister to a 28-year-old Adam Lanza. He's currently in jail.
It's the hardest thing to deal with sometimes- especially when situations like Sandy Hook arise.. I can't help but think of my brother, and how that could have been him.

Big hugs & lots of strength to you, OP, it takes a village & I hope you have a good village.

State run hospitals were shuttered because they are the most inhumane places ever conceived to warehouse and sedate (not treat) the mentally ill.
And until they hurt someone and declare criminally insane, there is nothing that a free society can do.
We are not North Korea or China. We cannot force adults to take medication against their will when they haven't done anything to harm someone else.

With freedom comes risk. I'd rather live with the risk than in a society that locks people up because they "might" commit a violent crime.

It was a really moving article. I'd love to be able to just take it "as-is". But Adam Lanza's mother also kept guns in the house with her mentally unstable child. I really feel awful for mothers of children who show violence through their mental illnesses, but Adam Lanza's mother is partially responsible for this event. As far as I've read, she was a responsible gun owner herself, and tried to teach her kid safe handling of a firearm, but he was mentally ill from childhood and there were numerous signs of violence in his personality. You can't expect a young adult who suffers from mental illness to be responsible with a gun.

I have younger family members with different degrees of autism (some violent on occasion) and while they are wonderful, caring people most of the time as individuals, there are some things that most human beings can handle that they cannot. They're not ever going to own guns because they don't have the capacity to be responsible with them 100% of the time, and they don't have the ability to regulate violent impulses like these. It sucks but that's reality. You can love someone unconditionally as your child and still retain awareness of what they are capable of. You can't deny that their brain doesn't function the way yours does.

I'm a huge advocate for awareness of mental health in the US. These kids are generally over-medicated and misunderstood. Mental illness is extremely costly to deal with. It's really shameful.

State run hospitals were shuttered because they are the most inhumane places ever conceived to warehouse and sedate (not treat) the mentally ill.
And until they hurt someone and declare criminally insane, there is nothing that a free society can do.
We are not North Korea or China. We cannot force adults to take medication against their will when they haven't done anything to harm someone else.

With freedom comes risk. I'd rather live with the risk than in a society that locks people up because they "might" commit a violent crime.

I'm not suggesting my son be locked up because he might commit a crime. I'm suggesting that services be offered to keep him in an environment that helps him NOT become violent.

More importantly, we should recognize that the state institutions have not been shuttered...they've just be re-labeled as prisons. And instead of any kind of treatment, the patients are subjected to the state's loving care in that environment.

Do any of you live in CT? If you did then you would know that they shut down all the mental hospitals in the state due to lack of money (hello, CT is BROKE!) and just kicked all the mentally ill patients out onto the streets. They have nurses who drive around and deliver the meds to them and make sure they take them (I know this because my SIL is one of the nurses who does this) but these people are out and about walking around in society. I'm sorry but I don't agree that a mental hospital isn't the way to go for some of these people. Flame me, call me cruel but some people need to be locked up period. Just because they are on their meds doesn't mean that they're stable and fine.

Another reason why we need to address this violence as a mental health issue. Parents of these kids need to have an informed and realistic view of their world.
I was a competitive shooter for more than 20 years. I co-authored a book on gun laws in the state of Virginia. I've had articles published on 2nd Amendment issues. My wedding gift from my wife was a custom combat competition pistol. All that considered, when my son's condition became apparent, I sold all my guns.

I really understand and appreciate your stance on this. I think it takes a responsible person of the highest caliber (oh god the pun... oh god) to sacrifice something important to them because their children's safety is more important. Stricter gun regulations don't make individuals more responsible with their legal firearms. I think a lesser person than you would have seen it as "I need to exercise my 2nd amendment rights no matter what". Having a right also means exercising responsibility. I'm not too surprised that people are trying to make this a "pro-gun/anti-gun" argument. But the real issue is mental health and without making real strides in that area, we will continue to have people who have the impulse to carry out unthinkable acts like this.

You are a rare person, I'm glad there are parents like you.

What I'm worried about is the idea that everyone that has a mental condition is going to be treated as a potential murderer. There are many citizens with mental conditions that are harmless or pacifists.