Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??
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I was on line, and there was a kid pitching a fit. The lady in front of them turned around and smiled and started singing "Rudolph the red-nose reindeer" softly and by the end of the song the kid was all smiles.
Sometimes kids get tired. And some kids have conditions that lead to being easily over-stimulated. This might have been the dad's only chance to take the kid shopping without mom there -- so leaving the store might not have been an option.
Happy holidays.0 -
Blimey, if I left a store every time my kid threw a tantrum Id never get anything done. He's autistic and screams a LOT. It really helps to know that other people are scoring my parenting skills without knowing the full picture.
Are you making sure to spank him in full view of everyone so that they know you're teaching him that the correct way to respond to other people's bad behaviour is to hit them? (Make sure he knows that that's only applicable if that person is smaller than him, completely reliant on him and lacks the life skills and experience to objectively assess whether their behaviour is an appropriate reaction to a situation.)0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.0
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You can make the argument "your opinion is invalid because you don't have kids"
Yet it seems to be parents who are most likely to forget what it was like to be a child themselves.
(I stuck my tongue into an electrical socket yesterday and I had a great time thank you very much)0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
I think the reason you see so many parents handle their temper-tantrum-throwing-in-public kids like that is because, in this day and age, so many people are sensitive to discipline. Heaven forbid if the wrong person sees you smack your kid's bottom or yell at them. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I see it.
I worked in the restaurant business for 14 years, the last 4 of which I ran a restaurant myself. There are three types of parents in public: there are the parents who ignore their child's misbehavior, there are the ones who (like the guy you encountered) coddle their children, hoping for better behavior, and then there are the ones who realize their kids don't have the right to ruin everyone's moment, and remove their child from the situation. That's what the gentleman in the store should have done. The moment his kid started acting up (and yes, they ALL act up from time to time) they should have left the store. Doing so accomplishes two things: 1) the child doesn't ruin anyone elses shopping experience, and 2) it tells the child that behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated in public.0 -
Let me say first off I DON'T believe in hitting children. In my opinion spanking does not work and is totally unnecessary.
When my kids acted the fool in a store or other public place, I would walk away. Never out of my line of sight, but they didn't know that. For example, if we were in the grocery store and a tantrum started, I would start walking up or down the aisle. That usually did the trick! they'd stop hollering and scurry after me. The few times that did not work, I picked them up and we left the store.
When kids are throwing tantrums, it's best not to give them attention for it. If I was the dad in your example, there is no way I would have tolerated him screaming for 45 minutes. I would have left the store and taken him home.
For the most part to avoid tantrums with little ones, you need to be preemptive. Make sure they are well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated before you take them out. If you take hungry, tired, thirsty kids out shopping you are guaranteed a cranky time. Also bring a bag of things to occupy them: books, small toys, small snacks, paper, crayons, etc.
I agree, 45 minutes is WAY longer than I would have stayed at the store, but it's not my place to judge. But very good advice, they want an audience, even at home if my son starts acting out or throwing a fit I tell him he can go do that in his room because I won't pay attention to him while he acts that way. He usually goes in his room for like a minute then realizes it's boring when there's nobody there to watch you!0 -
Hitting a child is showing that they have outsmarted you and you resent them for it.0
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I'm saying I didn't throw tantrums. If I did, I'd get it bad with a leather belt. And it worked on me. I was abused for backtalking, pouting, and crying (if I was warned and didn't stop). When i was older (6-9) I was abused for getting grades below a B. I was raised right, and disciplined well. I grew up fine, had good grades, wasn't rude, was thankful for what I got, and respected my parents...who chose to abuse me.
I worked with kids a lot when I was in HS (daycare). This was when i decided I would never have them. I don't hate kids, but I don't ever want one.
Fixed it for you.
I'm glad your non-children won't have to go through that.0 -
I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?
To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.
rant over.
Is it possible that his son might be autistic or have some other sort of condition? I've worked with autistic children in the past and there's nothing that will stop a tantrum really. The littlest things can set them off. You just have to pray for strength for the parents and hope they find something that works for their child.:flowerforyou: you never know the struggles of a family. I guess working with those kids made me think twice.
ETA it put the wrong icon0 -
This.You obviously don't have kids. I am sure when you do you will be an amazing mother and your kids will never throw tantrums though.
You're a real peach.
You're much nicer than me, I was thinking she was a collosal ***** with absolutely no perspective.0 -
I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.
Spanking is acceptable. It is not the same as beating your kid, it should not be done out of sheer anger, but utilized in a way to get your childs attention. BA in music with 3 declared minors.0 -
me too! so many parents just give the kid what they want to keep them quiet, though he probably should have left the store and came back in to try again after, props for him to not give in even when I'm sure the screaming child put him under the judgmental eye of everyone around. Maybe the tantrum was now handled flawlessly but it seems he is trying and his child now knows that even if he wants to scream and kick for 40 minutes in a store, that will indeed still not get him what he wants.I am glad the dad didn't give in and buy what the kids wanted...0 -
I agree, 45 minutes is WAY longer than I would have stayed at the store, but it's not my place to judge.
If you were able to spend 45 minutes in a craft store you should get some kind of papier-mâché medal for Psychological Endurance And #1 Grandpa0 -
I had a a family aquaintence who once bragged to me and my husband, after I remarked at how Rebekah was so wonderful, not pouty at all like she used to be! She used to be very moody, pouty, would cry over the littlest slights, and throw tantrums. Now she was smiling, happy, got along with her siblings....
They replied with a long story of how they performed an exorcism on her. First they prayed and fasted for a week, then the men of the family took the 5 year old to a specially prepared room, tied her up, prayed over her deliverance. It took a couple of hours but it worked.
0.o
we never talked with them ever again after that story.0 -
I am not a parent and feel their pain. They really are in a tough spot in this situation.. But, I'm Asian and we don't really deal with the tantrums like they do in US. We just get a slap and that is the end usually.
However, our parents realize that the people around them don't really give a crap about their situation and just want this to be over. I mean, going to a mall or store is not really a big deal but imagine going to a nice restaurant and having to put up with somebodys elses child. Once again, I understand that you're in a tough spot however don't make your problem my problem. I am trying to enjoy a meal. Be kind to me too and take the kid out. Discipline or console him anyway you wish but at least take him out so the others don't have to suffer...
ETA: There are a few restaurants in US now who have a zero tolerance for crying babies. They flat out ask you to leave if your kid doesn't stop and/or you don't take the kid outside to deal with it0 -
It bothered you so much because you were traumatized from being BEAT as a child. Get help BEFORE you ever have children.
Been there.
I'll also add that perhaps that child is autistic? You don't know them so please don't be so quick to judge. Did you offer to help him? Perhaps the father NEVER takes the kid out by himself and he was shopping for his wife for Christmas? I've seen a lot of this lately. Most parents would have taken the child out of the store the moment the 'fit' started, but with the pressures of 'shopping' and running out of days to do it, he probably just wanted to get done and get out. I'm sure he wasn't enjoying the moment. When my son was 3 and had a tantrum in a store, I walked away from him, he got up, shut up and walked towards me when he saw I was going to leave him there. However, nowadays, you cannot leave your child out of fear something worse will happen.
God bless you and have a beautiful day!0 -
It's easy for you to judge the parent, who most likely was completely embarrassed and wasn't allowing his kid to act that way. That's what kids do, my daughter throws fits ALL the time in the store, I try to calm her down anyway I can, which is probably what the dad was trying to do. I don't care what other people think, if they don't like it who cares? not me! Just because they throw tantrums in store DOES NOT mean they aren't disciplined, kids WANT EVERYTHING and are strong minded individuals and that's how they show it. Get over it!0
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Oh honey don't go there I have it worse I have grandparents that throw a tantrum so imagine lol. I totally feel you!!0
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Discipline is one thing - but beating until you bled? That's called abuse and there's absolutely NO justifiable reason for it.
Kids have tantrums. It's a fact of life. There are all kinds of ways to try and handle it, and so much of it depends on the personality of the kid.0 -
My dad would have given me an old fashioned whoopin. "The Stick" was a feared item in my house. Just a piece of 2" door trim, but it got the job done.
If it were my kid, I would have completely ignored him. Just talking to him in that state riles him up more. If ignoring doesn't work, time to go home, even if you're not done shopping. End of story.0
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