Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

When they act up at a store it is entirely different than a sit down restaurant. Shopping can be a necessity, where as eating at a sit down restaurant is not. I don't really care if a persons shopping experience is "ruined" because a child is having a tantrum. As a parent, there can be times you have NO choice but to take your child with you. I am glad that I have the option to leave them at home but I understand that not every parent has that choice. Suck it up and be happy that you aren't in the parents shoes.

On a related note:

To all the other parents out there whose young children sometimes throw tantrums in public, know that I as a mom, and most other moms out there, understand how you feel and are NOT judging you harshly. We sympathize, though there is not much we can say except "I've been there, too!" :flowerforyou:

The one exception is if you're beating your child - then I WILL step in to help you diffuse your anger in a less destructive way - often just by pointing out that we parents have all been there and it WILL pass.

And I agree with the other posters who pointed out that a store is not the same as a restaurant (where a parent really should leave if their child keeps screaming - more than just a few minutes - and disrupting the other diners who are paying for the service and atmosphere as well as the food at the restaurant).

I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?

To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.

rant over.

I absolutely would have been spanked for behaving that way. However, it would never have gotten to the point that I threw myself down, kicking and screaming. My mom would have left the store when I first started pitching a fit, leaving the cart wherever it happened to be at the time. She would have marched me straight out to the car, given me a few good swats on the butt, and sat there with me until I stopped crying. Then would come the "lecture", which I usually hated more than the spanking. If my attitude improved, we would go back in the store so she could finish her shopping. If I was still being difficult, we went home, and I was put down for a nap while mama removed my toys from me and I was not allowed to play with them for a set period of time (usually the rest of that day and all of the next). I absolutely think there are some situations that warrant spanking a child....SPANKING, not BEATING. There's a HUGE difference.

1.) Spanking should be done on the rear with some sort of designated paddle. Never use your hand, a belt, or whatever object happens to be closest at hand. Also, make sure your child is bent over so that the rear is the primary target, and you are not as likely to accidently miss the butt and strike them on the back.
2.) NEVER spank your child while you are angry. This often leads to a beating rather than a proper spanking, which is what it sounds like happened in your case. A child should never be "spanked" until blood is drawn. In such a case, it is no longer classified as a spanking, but rather a beating. That should never have happened.
3.) IMO, there are specific cases where spanking is warranted (deliberate disobedience/disrespect and dishonest behavior of any kind), but in most cases it should only be used as a last resort. Once the child has been warned to stop the behavior, there should be a first consequence such as confiscating a favorite toy, no "treat" that day (i.e. eating at McD's, no dessert at dinner, etc...) If the bad behavior continues, follow through with the confiscation process. If that does not work, and the behavior continues, THEN a spanking is warranted. However, it should be done within a reasonable amount of time after the behavior has begun. Don't let it escalate to the point that the child is throwing themselves down on the ground, kicking and screaming, and you have reached your wit's end.


Before any of you ask, no, I don't have any children of my own. However, I have discussed this issue at length with many of my friends and family members who have children, and they all tell me they get the best results when they follow these guidelines. Also, I have six nieces and nephews and I lived in the same household with four of them for more than a year. I always got good results when following the above guidelines. If I deviated from it, THEN I had problems with their behavior. To this day, I can usually get those kids (two of them are now teenagers) to do what I ask with very little trouble. If they do give me any lip, all it takes is one stern look for them to know I mean business.

I see there are some people here in favor of spanking their children. If there is anyone here that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children, please step forward. I know they have to exist, but I have never met a person under 75 that has a college degree and thinks it is ok to spank children.

My father has a bachelor's in psychology and a couple master's degrees and is a certified teacher and I was spanked as a child. Oh yeah, his father was a patent attorney, mother had a master's degree and stepmonther was a pediatrician.

I have a bachelor's degree. I spanked my daughter when warranted.

But I bow to your obviously superior intelligence. :flowerforyou:

Must have been torture for you to be held against your will in a craft store.

I see this all the time and parents have a variety of reactions. Try not to judge to harshly, they will reap what they sow. Every child is different when it comes to what works for them.
I have raised two kids, one boy and one girl.
I used to go over the rules before ever leaving the house.
If the kids acted up in the car, I would pull over and wait. Sometimes it would take 15 minutes for them to chill out. I always waited until they were quiet at least 5 minutes before getting back on the road.
They would get swatted, never beatings and never bleeding and bruising.
I used to be able to take my kids anywhere and not worry about it.
Until they were teenagers...then all hell broke loose.
There are some harsh comments here, everyone is entitled to their opinions though. I do absolutely believe that kids need to be taught manners and immediate action needs to be taken for tandrums of that degree. Spanking is a debate that will never be agreed on by everyone. On rare occassions, my parents would spank me. I had no distrust issues, or anything from it. I just knew that I better listen to mom and dad or else I would get in trouble.
Debbie

My mother only had to spank me a few times and then the thought of it kept me in line. If I acted up in a public area she would look at me and say " Would you like to go to the bathroom with me? " This was a cue to straighten up or suffer the consequences.

Must have been torture for you to be held against your will in a craft store.

I would have taken a hot glue gun to my own temple after five minutes

I have two children. I have never, nor will I ever, spank either of them.

There are far more inventive ways of correcting behaviour. You have to be pretty unoriginal to need to resort to spanking.

If the child is too young to understand and respond to anything remotely subtle, they are too young to be spanked anyway.

My eldest had severe emotional control problems when she was younger. I guarantee you that any tantrum you've seen pales by comparison to her when she got going. Somehow, and without beating her, I've managed to turn that around as she grew, and we haven't had an incident since she was four.

Barring mental problems, tantrums are children who haven't learned to manage their emotions yet. Hitting them is a very silly way of trying to teach emotional control. Sorta like leading NOT by example.

I echo the sentiment that the thread starter definitely doesn't have kids! As for spanking, only if warranted .. I only got spanked a couple of times when I was a kid, done me no harm and fully deserved, I certainly didn't do those things I was doing to provoke that reaction again! As for whether I will spank my own kids (currently 2 and 1 month!), I like to think not, but I'm not against it if in the right (extreme) circumstance.