Being called a "fat *kitten*" by my husband....

First and formost you don't have to divorce him, but you do have to stand your ground and let him know calling you names and talking to you like that is NOT what you signed on for. After all having those babies is one thing that got you where you are today, so you didn't get there by yourself. He had a different time table than you so he thought to guilt you into doing it his way, hope you stood your ground and did it on your terms. You need to have a chat with him and tell him in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable and you will not stand for it. Don't make idel threats, if you say something mean it and stick to it. You know food has a way of not getting cooked and clothes has a way of not getting cleaned and those would be starters if he doesn't listen to what you have to say about the way he talks to you. Stand your ground and don't back down.

To those of you saying that it doesn't take hours for food to digest, I know that. If you read my original post, I wanted my two children to nap first so they wouldn't be cranky and ruin our walk. I did take a short nap because I was so upset by what he said. However, I woke up, but on my workout clothes, and went by myself. He asked if I was taking the kids, and I just walked out the door. I walked a mile alone. It felt good. When I got home, he did apologize. He said he's just so used to me making excuses and not following through, that it pissed him off. I did explain to him that I will not tolerate him name calling anymore and that if it continues he just may end up losing the best thing he ever had. I don't want to ever end my marriage, but I can't keep living like this either. He seemed sincere when he apologized, but I'm still hurt and angry. He only talks to me like this about my weight. He has lost 40 lbs over the last two years and now thinks everyone should do it the way he did. I am seeking treatment for bipolar disorder and depression already. I do go to individual therapy already.

And HERE is the part we didn't know about. Illness is hard for the person who is ill, and hard on the spouses. Often, the ill person needing help and support can't get it from their spouse, because they are also suffering and need support and help to cope with their loved ones illness. If you are on meds for bipolar, then your weight could be directly affected. You have challenges - ask God to help you. I saw Christmas cards hand painted by people without hands. They use their mouths and feet to paint at a level of a skilled artist. Your challenges can make what you do all the more meaningful and lovely.

You look sad in your picture. In saying this, I mean, maybe his words impact you in ways other than their initial sting? Think about it. Apologies or not, nobody deserves this, and this is not a positive form of encouragement.

I second her!

Marriage counseling.. I know it could sound stupid and pointless, but many go before it gets bad to prevent it from getting bad. If you love him and want to stay with him, you should be happy with him
Just look into it, could be within a company or even a cool church. Good luck!

Emotional abuse is inappropriate. If you truly believe in your wedding vows, then you will flat out approach your husband about his behavior. Part of the marriage vows is to HONOR our spouses. Your husband needs to shape up or shut up.

I know that's not what you want to hear, but you should stand up for yourself in a calm, mature manner.

My husband would never talk to me like that because we have a mutual respect for each other. But if he did, I would very politely tell him that if he's not going to talk nice and respectful to me then he doesn't get to talk to me for a week. And I would stick to it.

Marriage is a partnership and you have to have a healthy marriage in order to keep yourself healthy. If you can't get a healthy marriage and aren't willing to do what's necessary to put it on the right track, then you need try what's called cyclical dating. This means going out with a friend, especially a male friend, for coffee or a movie. Going to the gym WITHOUT your husband. These types of things. In my first marriage I got treated like crap. I was emotionally abused. So I surrounded myself with loads of gay male friends. And it worked wonders for me. To the point I ended up getting a divorce, actually. I know that's not what you want, but you have to remember that your kids hear your husband talk to you like that.

So it needs to stop. Now.

Good luck! I believe in positive reinforcement. It sounds like he believes more in negative reinforcement. I think you will be better off if you continue to talk and work through it. Don't get discouraged!

Marriage vows go both ways, honey. When he married you, didn't he vow to "honor and protect" you? Saying those things dishonors you big time, and doesn't protect your feelings. He sounds like an *kitten*. You should be so embarrassed for allowing yourself to be treated so shamefully.

Bottom line: would you encourage your own daughter to stay with a man who treats her the way your husband treats you, just to "honor her vows"? Hell no.

doesn't really help. I've been dieting and doing light exercise. Just because I wanted to put our kids down for a nap after lunch and let my food digest before going for a 4 mile long walk doesn't make me lazy. I never said we weren't going to go, just that I wanted to wait a few hours. However, being called a lazy fat *kitten* by him doesn't really make me feel all that motivated to work out. Being told that I will never be thin again, that I will never be good for anything, and that I'm stupid isn't going to fix anything and just makes me feel worse about what little progress I've made. It also doesn't really help my depression. I know everyone's going to say to just leave him, but I actually believe in my marriage vows and don't believe in divorce.

Good for you sticking to your vows! Now he needs to stick to his and love, honor and respect you! Those vows aren't just about sticking it out and not divorcing. Unfortunately, you can't change another person. You're husband should be your #1 fan and biggest support, not tearing you down! I'm so sad for you and wonder how you can encourage him to act more loving toward you.

To those of you saying that it doesn't take hours for food to digest, I know that. If you read my original post, I wanted my two children to nap first so they wouldn't be cranky and ruin our walk. I did take a short nap because I was so upset by what he said. However, I woke up, but on my workout clothes, and went by myself. He asked if I was taking the kids, and I just walked out the door. I walked a mile alone. It felt good. When I got home, he did apologize. He said he's just so used to me making excuses and not following through, that it pissed him off. I did explain to him that I will not tolerate him name calling anymore and that if it continues he just may end up losing the best thing he ever had. I don't want to ever end my marriage, but I can't keep living like this either. He seemed sincere when he apologized, but I'm still hurt and angry. He only talks to me like this about my weight. He has lost 40 lbs over the last two years and now thinks everyone should do it the way he did. I am seeking treatment for bipolar disorder and depression already. I do go to individual therapy already.

It seems like he's open to talking about it. I think it's important for you to let him know how you feel when he acts like that as well as how he can best encourage you. I'm glad he isn't like that regarding other things...it shows he's probably not a complete jerk. Of course, he probably won't change over night, but keep encouraging him, esp. when he positively encourages you :-)