Being called a "fat *kitten*" by my husband....

Wrote something, but decided against it. I wish MFP had a "delete post" option.....or does it?

Then why are you talking trash in here, in such a public forum? Take it to a counselor, or spirtual director, or a trusted friend. It sounds like you were making an excuse, he is used to you doing just that, and he spoke in agravation, as men sometimes do more than women do. You created a pattern and he sees you inside that pattern. Change the pattern, and he will see you in the new pattern. It will take longer than you are going to deem necessary. As far as he was concerned, you had just lied to him... again. An excuse to not do something you said you would makes you a liar. So, get your act together, don't procrastinate and be consistent in your new endeavor of a healthy lifestyle. Or don't.

I am not a liar. I did get up and go for a walk, just not on his time frame or when he TOLD me to. And I don't see how calling someone a liar on a post about being put down helps any either.

This time you got up. Were his words part of what got you out the door? How many times have you started and quit? That is what, in his reality, made you a liar. If you say you are going to do something, and don't follow through time and again, you have made yourself dishonest to him and yourself. Coming here and actually changing is growing your integrity, and making you honest (in theory) along with any other of our community that has had the same habitual pattern.

Sounds like you both need to be better at communicating.

I believe in marriage vows too, but I do not believe in being bullied by your husband isn't right!

Have you ever thought of going to counselling with him, he needs to realize what he is doing, is hurting you

I decided to delete what I had said after reading responses that are going back and forth.

There is something more here than meets the eye.

First, I am assuming that the words that you have highlighted are the actual words that he used. Don't fall into the trap of what he meant versus what he actually said. Second, and perhaps more important, this sounds like something said out of anger (and anger is largely fear expressed), But just because he might be "angry" (or frustrated, or whatever) does not give him (or you) the right to verbally abuse one another.

It does not sound like this was something said to motivate you nor does it sound like the "amazing man" you describe on your profile page. And it logically appears that at least one, if not both of you, has gone through previous marriages. That may also play into this. Because one or both of you aren't meeting (unsaid) expectations.

Finally, assuming that both of you are of similar age, men can be terribly insensitive and unaware of the things they say or how they are taken. My ex-wife told me that after our son was born and she worked really hard to bring her body back towards her pre-pregnancy form, I said something that infuriated her. I barely remember it and did not say it out of meaness or even anger. Had I known that she would have been so upset that she would seek to adversely affect our marriage (to "show me"), I would not have said it. I did not know until many years after our divorce that one silly comment about the last couple of pounds she sought to lose would plant the seeds of her finding someone else and walking away from our marriage. There were other things, of course, that she found wrong with me after that. But I never imagined that something so simple could be traced to the "first cause" for ending a marriage. Of course, it is also possible if it wasn't the one thing I said that she identified, it would have been something else.

Words make a difference and if you both have been married before, you both know that. It is time to remind yourselves of that and apologies to be offered and accepted. AND this type of behavior also has to end.

With depression his words are going to do nothing to lift your spirits my friend. You need to do for YOU and he needs to realize that. You need to find what makes you happy and being called a, "fat *kitten*" is certainly not one of those things. Sit him down and have a serious talk with him about how you are feeling. Nobody needs to be degraded and treated that way. Words hurt, I know this as I have been there done that. It's gonna take you taking a stand and letting him know that it is not acceptable for him to call you names like that. If he loves you then he will understand he is wrong and not repeat himself. Good luck.

You're Right, its no reason to leave your husband. Let him know how those words make you feel and that a more positive response is what you need. It sounds as if u guys are exercising together and that's a positive step. He needs to show patience, respect, and Honor to his other half which is you. Don't let this stop you just talk to him about this and try not to make it a shouting match.

Hurtful words like that would only want to make me work harder and show him that I can do this. Don't let his words bring you down. Let them empower you and use it as motivation. Because no one deserves that at all.

Sounds to me that he is just trying to dicourage you, don't give in to that. You are beatiful and you are strong! I realize you want to stay true to your vows but that is no excuse for him to talk to you, the mother to his children, like that! Keep strong, but at the same time you shouldn't have to take that from anyone