Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.
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What the hell that's so wrong! Don't worry though Karma is going to be quite the ***** when she catches up to him!
I've never been married but I was at my friends house two days after she had TWINS and helping out her out with the babies and her ex-husband was sitting there glaring at us and she kinda gave him a look and he out right said,
"so it's been two days since you had the kids why aren't you hitting the gym and losing that fat *kitten* of yours?"
My jaw dropped and and could totally see how devestated she was.
Some guys I swear!!!0 -
You've already beat him by signing up to MFP and focussing on you and your health.
That idiot doesn't deserve to occupy any more of your thoughts but hey, seeing his face when you unleash your inner athletic goddess will be one heck of a Non-Scale Victory!!0 -
Honey, he didn't leave you because of your weight. He left because he's an un-supportive *kitten* who doesn't know the meaning of commitment. Feel sorry for him - he'll NEVER be happy0
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Good riddance to that one. In my experience, a man who cheats will always cheat, and he will usually think up a reason why it's his gf's/wife's fault. A man who cheats sure doesn't care about his marriage vows. If he did, he'd at least stay faithful until the papers were filed, if not until the ink is dry on the last divorce paper.0
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My husband left me in December because of my weight. When we married I was 200 lbs, and when I moved to Korea (we were stationed there) I was 240. He became disgusted with my weight. Fair enough. I understand to an extent. I joined here and lost 20 lbs (and was doing GREAT) but he generally started to become unsupportive. Would tell me he didn't see any changes. Blah blah blah.
We moved back to the US in December and he told me he wanted me to take charge of my weight. I agreed and decided once we'd get to Georgia (which was where our next duty station was, and where we were going at the end of Dec) I'd take charge 110% NO excuses. My husband decided he didn't want to risk it though and eventually ended up calling me "lazy" and a "fat '*****'" He pretty much gave me the same reason for cheating on me, too.
I feel pretty low. The one person who was supposed to love me for who I am, in SICKness and in health turned their back on me. Although I could understand if I had gone to GA and not made ONE OUNCE of change, I was dedicated to making a difference. It makes me sad, honestly. There had been times before I told him I would lose it and didn't (You know how that goes) and he eventually told me he didn't believe me when I told him I'd lose it when we got to GA. I know for some people that makes them want to "prove them wrong" but for me, it's so disheartening.
I'm trying to keep my head up though. I'm only twenty. I'm young. I have a lot of life ahead of me. And, I'm happy to say, I'm going to be back on here a lot more. I won a Wii recently and Just Dance 3 and that's a whole lot of work out! Plus, I recently got a job at a Daycare which requires none stop movement. I've lost quite a bit of weight so far, but I'm looking to really push myself now. I want my ex to feel like a stupid fool when I see him at his sisters wedding in September. Today I'm tracking my food to see what my eating habits are like and what I need to change. (I never give up food, I just cut back)
I'm pretty excited to be back on here.
All the very best with your weightloss and exercise. You can do this for sure! xxx0 -
I disagree with all the posts saying to lose weight to "show him who's boss" or whatever. That just seems petty, and the bottom line is that you should only be losing weight for yourself. Perhaps more importantly, why wait until "you're in Georgia" to start? It's just as easy to start laying off the Burger King tonight than a few weeks from now, and having to undo all the damage done in those weeks isn't going to happen overnight.
Not that it matters anyway, since the original poster's recorded weight hasn't changed in the three months since this thread was created.0 -
I just wanted to say that your husband is a douche and the weight that will make you healthiest to get rid of is his sorry *kitten*.0
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Your are stunning! And ya know what...you are much better off with out him Now a whole new world of opportunity has been put before you! Onward and upward! 0
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I just want to say thank you for all the support I've received on this board. My husband and I are technically still married, however we are still separated. He left the army and stole a lot of money and is now on the run and dealing drugs. I guess karma really found him.
I am now living with my boyfriend who loves me for who I am. Always finds me gorgeous and tells me that he doesn't care about my size. I'm still on my weight loss journey, and I recently joined a new gym, planetfitness, and I'm getting my coworkers and boss to go with me after work.
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I'm sorry but your husband is a jerk and *kitten*. He should love you and be with you regardless of your size. When my husband and I first got together I was 35lbs less than I am now and I was a bit higher than I currently am. He still loves me, still tells me I'm beautiful and gets mad only when I make comments about my weight and how big I am (he doesn't like it when I talk down to myself). He's been my greatest support in either encouraging me to exercise, congratulating me when I lose, and being ok with the fact that we spend more on groceries to ensure there is plenty of healthy food in the house even though we are low on money since I have been out of work.
I'm sorry you had to go through it. Use it as motivation to lose the weight for you and so you can feel better about yourself. You don't need that sort of influence in your life... weight loss is hard enough without having that sort of influence in your life.0 -
dump the jerk and you instantly lose the dead weight in your life...0
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Obviously this guy was a total jerk! Thank goodness you're 20 and found this out now before you wasted any more of your life on him! That being said my husband has loved me during my weight range of 70 lbs up & down. Even at my biggest (263) he told me all the time that he found me sexy and loved me the way I was. Problem was that I didn't feel sexy. I needed to lose the weight for me! That is the attitude that you need to have. DO THIS FOR YOU!!!! There is someone else out there actually worth your time and love. And show him what he's missing at the wedding in the fall. Just to give yourself the satisfaction, not to get him back, he's not worth it!0
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I'm sorry you had to go through that, but if he left you that way he had bigger issues than just your weight. I can understand how much that must hurt nonetheless.
When I met my husband, I was thin and stayed thin for the first 5 years, but the past few years I have put on 80 pounds.My husband always makes me feel loved. and has never put me down, BUT he hasn't told me I'm beautiful for probably a couple years now and he used to every day and it kills me. I can't imagiine how I'd feel if he left me over it =(0 -
Hi all! I'm the OP in this thread, only now I use a different account (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/licoricesquid)
Thank you for all the motivation and help/support ALL of you offered! Though I had some ups and downs, my weight loss is pretty steady so far! I always come back here when I need motivation, or for a wake up call. You all are wonderful.0 -
lauraallover wrote: »Hi all! I'm the OP in this thread, only now I use a different account (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/licoricesquid)
Thank you for all the motivation and help/support ALL of you offered! Though I had some ups and downs, my weight loss is pretty steady so far! I always come back here when I need motivation, or for a wake up call. You all are wonderful.
Awesome!0 -
Oh honey...your husband didn't leave you because of your weight, he left you because he was a jerk. He did you a big favor! You are much MUCH better off xo0
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lauraallover wrote: »I just want to say thank you for all the support I've received on this board. My husband and I are technically still married, however we are still separated. He left the army and stole a lot of money and is now on the run and dealing drugs. I guess karma really found him.
I am now living with my boyfriend who loves me for who I am. Always finds me gorgeous and tells me that he doesn't care about my size. I'm still on my weight loss journey, and I recently joined a new gym, planetfitness, and I'm getting my coworkers and boss to go with me after work.
This. Perfect! 0 -
Thank you guys! I literally would always come back here during those low times. I love this community so much. 0
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*kitten* that dude I'm married my wife isn't in shape and I love her to death. Rjugy12 intermittent fasting. Read what I said its for everyone0
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Congratulations on the loss of 100+ when the jerk walked out the door. You are well on your way to happiness as well as a healthy body. What a jack hole.0
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I had somewhat the same experience. I ended up getting really thin during the abusive ordeal, but I gained it all back when I moved back to MI. Now I'm finally working on myself THE RIGHT WAY, and married to an amazing man who loved me at my largest weight, and new me at my smallest weight (we were h.s. crushes but never dated). He's really excited to see my progress, because I'M excited, and I'M loving myself and happier. I'm glad you are happy too!0
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Grats on losing 200 pounds of useless weight.
Sounds a bit like he was just using your weight as an excuse to leave. Pushing the blame on to you.0 -
Total ***. He used the weight as an excuse. A crappy excuse. Had you been 110 lbs his true colors still would have shown true eventually and he'd have found something else to blame it on ::hugs!::
But f him, and congrats on you new healthy journey! XD0 -
Tourney3p0 wrote: »I disagree with all the posts saying to lose weight to "show him who's boss" or whatever. That just seems petty, and the bottom line is that you should only be losing weight for yourself. Perhaps more importantly, why wait until "you're in Georgia" to start? It's just as easy to start laying off the Burger King tonight than a few weeks from now, and having to undo all the damage done in those weeks isn't going to happen overnight.
Not that it matters anyway, since the original poster's recorded weight hasn't changed in the three months since this thread was created.
Maybe you've never been cheated on and dumped by a years long spouse before, but that kind of thing absolutely destroys people (especially women, who are frequently traded in for the newer, younger, hotter model as though we were automobiles instead of human beings). Imagine wasting 15/20 years, and those years being your youth, when you have the most options and flexibility in what your life will become, and the person drops all that like it meant nothing, and you can't ever get it back. Cheating on your spouse is like you having a baby, and you spend years and years of effort on nourishing the baby, protecting the baby, and helping the baby grow and mature into something worth all that, then your spouse walks into the room one night and blows the baby away.
This isn't petty. This is someone's life. And to top it all off, she was an army wife, which meant making even more tremendous sacrifices of friends and family to get carted around the planet with this guy, who then couldn't even be bothered to not be a total ******* to her while she was putting in the effort to correct the thing he had a problem with, for both of them, for their marriage, and yeah, for herself. Ain't nothing petty about wanting to reclaim her self worth by becoming the woman this jerk could have had for a wife had he not been a cheating *****. OP, keep on keepin on!
Also, the op got a new profile and she's lost some serious weight.0 -
This man you describe sounds like a poison little moron. You're well rid of him.0
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licoricesquid wrote: »Thank you guys! I literally would always come back here during those low times. I love this community so much.
It is lovely to see you are now happy in life with a supportive partner, good luck for your future but I some how don't think you need it x 0 -
I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.0 -
I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.
Yeah no. Your ex is a jerk. You know what a good spouse does? Tells his partner when things start spiraling like my husband did : "hey babe, i notice how you look at yourself and you don't look happy. Do you want to try and start losing weight? I'll do absolutely anything I can to help you along". This was at 1 year postpartum when I hated myself in my daughter's birthday pictures. 5 months, 22 lbs down and it's all with his help. He has lived up to his word when he said he'll do whatever it takes to help me. He loved me at 145 lbs, 196 lbs and now at 174 lbs.0 -
I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.
Yeah no. Your ex is a jerk. You know what a good spouse does? Tells his partner when things start spiraling like my husband did : "hey babe, i notice how you look at yourself and you don't look happy. Do you want to try and start losing weight? I'll do absolutely anything I can to help you along". This was at 1 year postpartum when I hated myself in my daughter's birthday pictures. 5 months, 22 lbs down and it's all with his help. He has lived up to his word when he said he'll do whatever it takes to help me. He loved me at 145 lbs, 196 lbs and now at 174 lbs.
THANK YOU. Lot of adultery apologists on here. You know what? Obesity is a sickness. Whatever happened to "in sickness and in health" ?0 -
clgaram720 wrote: »I am not going to bag on her husband, just because we get one side of the story. It's good you got away from that situation though and can now focus on who YOU are and where you want to be. Weight loss is a personal journey and sometimes we have to suck it up and go it alone.
I went through the same thing with my now ex-husband and looking back at pictures I can kinda see why he cheated. I was 100 pounds when we met and got pregnant with our first son. By the time we divorced and 4 kids later I was 206. If he had gained 100 pounds I wouldn't have found him as attractive either ! He didn't sign up for a wife who didn't care about her appearance and honestly I lost the feeling of being attractive too and we weren't intimate anymore.
My current fiance and I agreed that if we ever started to gain that we would be honest with each other because we want to look our best to be healthy and happy for our entire lives together. So here we both are. My cooking and stress got the best of both of us. While her husband definitely approached it as an asshat, I think we have an obligation to ourselves and our spouse to be healthy.
Yeah no. Your ex is a jerk. You know what a good spouse does? Tells his partner when things start spiraling like my husband did : "hey babe, i notice how you look at yourself and you don't look happy. Do you want to try and start losing weight? I'll do absolutely anything I can to help you along". This was at 1 year postpartum when I hated myself in my daughter's birthday pictures. 5 months, 22 lbs down and it's all with his help. He has lived up to his word when he said he'll do whatever it takes to help me. He loved me at 145 lbs, 196 lbs and now at 174 lbs.
THANK YOU. Lot of adultery apologists on here. You know what? Obesity is a sickness. Whatever happened to "in sickness and in health" ?
Agreed. There is no excuse to cheat. If you don't want to be with someone who loves you so much that it hurts, then divorce them, break up with them, BEFORE you double dip. At least have SOME respect for the person that you are about to devastate.0
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