Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...

MOST Guys do not necessarily choose the girl they date based on looks alone. Attraction is important, yes, but a self-confident man is after more than a pretty face..

Frankly, and I hate to sound bad here, but most guys choose not to date a girl because she "comes off" as being a PITA.. Negative, Neurotic, Clingy, Demanding, Cranky, High Maint, or whatever other thing that causes a failure to connect. Sounds petty, but its common and its a REAL ISSUE with guys.

So when you're looking in the mirror comparing yourself to that guy and what he deserves, maybe he gave it a shot, but "felt" you fall into one of those categories above.

Or.. Of course, if the guy has unrealistic expectations on what kind of "babe factor" he deserves, then he's probably kinda nutty anyway.. So, a deserving girl would be better off NOT to fall in with that kind of character.!

Character Does Matter...

dumb question..... why shouldn't these so-called "3" guys go after a "10"? If they get them, good on them, right?

Maybe the 10s see the 3 as an 11?

my point exactly.

I love me some 3's and 4's. Maybe they're just waiting till I get round to them?

I don't rate. But if I did I would take one that wanted to change into an 8 and build her up to it. Then when she got to an 8 she would leave. lol. I need to start lower maybe a -3.

I dunno... I have a list of standards that are based on my own issues, and only one of them is anything to do with appearance, and again, that's MY issue, not his. And that is simply that he has to be taller than me, and again, it's because it has given me SUCH a complex in past relationships, I don't know if I can get past it again. So far, I can't. But then, I've never had a normal, loving relationship either, so maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot.

But then... the few times I've been approached, I've still given them a shot, until they get to point where I just can't make it work. And sadly, none of them have even culminated in a 1st date, because I scare them off when I talk to them. :P *THAT* is their issue, not mine. Truth is, the ONLY thing I'm confident in is who I am and what's in my head - I give a rat's tail about the rest of it... and that becomes real apparent in a first conversation.

I know myself, I know my issues, I know where I come from... and I'm still very much a work in progress - and until someone is willing to put up with my eccentricities and get through those walls, I'm happy being single and working my butt off!

I'm a 3

My momma told me to shoot for the stars.

I hope what I'm going to say isn't too controversial, but when I was in the Navy, I happened to know of a bunch of guys who created this sort of top-down list of all the girls they knew that were available. Every girl was on that list, though the "most attractive" were on the top.

In terms of "scoring" with a woman, I found a trend of guys going for the gold, without regard to how cool, interesting, funny, smart, or able to connect with a guy the girl was. It was purely about the score. Furthermore...even less than savory girls were on that list, which kind of means that, if all else fails, even the biggest, scare-your-kid-with-hairy-nose-mole girls had a chance, so long as the "hot" girls were a no-go.

I think most guys are perfectly capable of being attracted to all girls, but when it comes to looking for a "hook-up," they first notice the most quintessentially pretty girl in the room. That might be why dating websites are difficult for average girls. I've know far more guys going to those websites to find "hook-ups" than actual relationship, but that's not always the case.

I've been very self-conscious about my looks as I've aged and gain weight, but I realize that it's okay for my guy to "recognize" attractiveness in other women (not that he would EVER say that, it's just my own personal acceptance), that his love for me is deeper than my looks or age.

So, the guys that are going for the top-list girls aren't really trying to find someone with whom they can share a special connection. That sometimes takes time to find, and even a top-list guy (which could be how you are attracted to him vs. superficial criteria) will find you to be a top-list girl.

Also, I find guys to be attracted to the weirdest things in women. It's not always the same thing, and it's not always what you expect. I remember in my late teens into twenty years old or so, there were guys talking about some girl they would all like to hook-up with. She was short, a little stocky, had tons of freckles and was very top heavy---she was certainly cute, but not in the magazine-way that I thought all guys wanted. It kind of gave me hope, I suppose.

As an aside, I wouldn't want to date a girl who ranked me lower than herself like she was doing me some kind of favour.
I also would never want to hear that she had "settled", whether said to me or overheard her saying that to her friends.

In fact, I don't think I'd want to date someone who rates people. Period.

I'm generally not interested in grown women who view relationships the same way as a middle school lunch table of tweens would.

That is because you are a 10. You get to be more picky.....

Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him.