This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

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Replies

  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    You are looking for confirmation that a bad diet (HCG) is the way to go!

    Sorry, I am not going to lobotomize myself to fit your cookie cutter world and no amount of name calling will make me support a protocol that is dangerous. I won't be bullied into supporting something that 20 years in the health field tells me is a very bad idea.

    Don't try to bully me into your crazy diet plans. Do it if you want but the second you promote it - I'm going to push back. The next thing you'll recommend is that I eat at 800 cals.

    I never said I was trying to force anyone to do anything. My point was be supportive of others and not negative.

    Negating something you say, if it's unsubstantiated and/or is dangerous, IS being supportive of good health. Like I said earlier, if you just want support of your own opinions, come out and say, "I only want people to agree with me" and friend those people. Negative =/= bad if it's people trying to help someone's health and well-being.
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
    ^This.

    It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.

    i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.

    take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.

    i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.

    now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.

    YEP. :drinker:

    :love:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

    *kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

    Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

    There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

    The solution?

    Start kicking them in the shin.

    I'm a *kitten*. :embarassed:
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
    i say eff those mean people!! Who cares how youre losing weight as long as youre making the effort for YOURSELF and losing it! thats just jerks who have no lives and want to be hateful! keep up the good work and dont lose your faith!! you can do it!!!! :)

    So, by this logic, it's okay to snort cocaine to suppress appetite, starve oneself for quick muscle, water, and overall weight loss, and take banned diet drugs that can result in heart attackes, seizures, strokes, or death?

    See why people say things?

    All of that is important to express concern over, but it can still be discussed in a kindly way.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
    Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

    *kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

    Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

    There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

    The solution?

    Start kicking them in the shin.

    I'm a *kitten*. :embarassed:

    ME TOO!! :drinker:
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    Sympathetic men are the reason for overweight women - not good to mix while in weight loss mode

    tumblr_meuxb0rj1V1ra4tnt.gif
  • Thanks guys for all the support. Still makes me laugh that people can respond to this thread in a negative way or ask that it be taken down. Lets learn to be positive and treat others with respect. Again I'm here for positive support so lets focus on that.

    Did you even read anything that was said here?

    I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
    By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.

    Hey now, I was honest to god advocating for violence and shin kicking. A little reality added to the existence of the internet might make the place a little more courteous! Like if you knew your mother was reading every word you typed...

    :grumble: crap, this IS public, she CAN read it all! :sad:
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    I haven't been on here too long, but have already learned a great deal. I've seen a lot of rudeness, sarcasm, and things of that nature, but I haven't run into any actual bullying. Yes there are people out there who are jerks just for the sake of being so, but there's actually good information hidden within some of that rudeness... at least from what I've seen so far on the forums. It's because of someone's snarky post that I went and found some calculators online to get my numbers in order (MFP had me too low I found out). It sounds like someone just got banned, and that person posted a very direct and somewhat sarcastic post about the benefits of adding strength training to one's workout (at least I think that was the person!). Thanks to that person, I've started working that into the rotation.

    If you see a subject that you might learn from, don't go in with a closed mind and/or a chip on your shoulder. It might just be me or it might be all the time I've observed trade chat in WoW, but it's easy to take the actual information out of a post, no matter how it's written, and go do something with it.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

    *kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

    Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

    There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

    The solution?

    Start kicking them in the shin.

    I'm a *kitten*. :embarassed:

    ME TOO!! :drinker:

    Really? Yay! New best friend! :drinker:
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    ^This.

    It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.

    i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.

    take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.

    i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.

    now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.

    Well stated. There is a big difference between bullying and simply coming across a communication style or point of view that differs from your own. Quick cries of Bully! inhibit useful discussion and cause far more harm than a few sarcastic comments ever could. Sometimes the best support someone can receive is push back against their thinking.
  • I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.

    But the title of your thread is negative in and of itself. "This site should NOT be about weight loss bullies" - not is negative. You started it off with a negative statement. Grammatically speaking, not even literal or subjective interpretation, it is negative. Ohhhh the irony.

    And HCG is bad. Very bad.
  • By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.

    First I never advocated a diet , I make my own choices because I'm an adult! I was simply giving an example of one of the topics that is used to bully people on this site . Yes I used the word again because that's exactly what I mean so thank you to everyone giving the grammar school lessons. Second you are all adults and I do not condone violence so please don't act like i have anything to do with or control of what comes out of others mouths. Third who said I reported anyone? I just chose to go on with my life and find positive people. I suggest you do the same.
  • I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.

    But the title of your thread is negative in and of itself. "This site should NOT be about weight loss bullies" - not is negative. You started it off with a negative statement. Grammatically speaking, not even literal or subjective interpretation, it is negative. Ohhhh the irony.

    And HCG is bad. Very bad.

    REALLY?
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.

    First I never advocated a diet , I make my own choices because I'm an adult! I was simply giving an example of one of the topics that is used to bully people on this site . Yes I used the word again because that's exactly what I mean so thank you to everyone giving the grammar school lessons. Second you are all adults and I do not condone violence so please don't act like i have anything to do with or control of what comes out of others mouths. Third who said I reported anyone? I just chose to go on with my life and find positive people. I suggest you do the same.

    What a shame that you have clearly misunderstood not only the message you've put out with your post, but the responses you have received.

    I'm only hoping others read the thread and come away with a much clearer understanding of what "bullying," "support," and perhaps more importantly, "health," actually mean.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

    *kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

    Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

    There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

    The solution?

    Start kicking them in the shin.

    I like the creamy *kitten* filling. Mmmmmmmm....... :love:
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    I wont apologize for telling people how bad hcg is. I'm here for support and to support others in their weight loss/exercise goals. If anyone brings up/asks about hcg in a forum, or one of my pals mentions it, I tell them how I feel. They, afterall, are the ones asking/talking about it.
    My niece nearly died from it after peeing black 'stuff'. She ended up in the hospital with severe kidney damage. I didn't like what she was doing, told her so and she still chose to use it.
    Ultimately, people have to make their own choices, but I don't want to see someone die from a 'quick fix' because they didn't know enough about it. That is all.
  • I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.

    But the title of your thread is negative in and of itself. "This site should NOT be about weight loss bullies" - not is negative. You started it off with a negative statement. Grammatically speaking, not even literal or subjective interpretation, it is negative. Ohhhh the irony.

    And HCG is bad. Very bad.

    REALLY?

    Yeah.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.

    First I never advocated a diet , I make my own choices because I'm an adult! I was simply giving an example of one of the topics that is used to bully people on this site . Yes I used the word again because that's exactly what I mean so thank you to everyone giving the grammar school lessons. Second you are all adults and I do not condone violence so please don't act like i have anything to do with or control of what comes out of others mouths. Third who said I reported anyone? I just chose to go on with my life and find positive people. I suggest you do the same.

    can i ask you a question? this is a serious question because i'm trying to figure out exactly where you draw the line.

    what if you came on here and announced that you were shooting heroin because it suppressed your appetite and allowed you to lose weight?

    what should we say to you? since you only want support, should we just ignore your thread because we can't support you? or should we yell, "STOP! what are you doing to yourself?!"

    in a situation like that, i really don't know what you think the forum should say to you that's "supportive".

    now, if you substituted "heroin" with some dangerous diet pill like "Xiushentang" in the above example. what should we say then? you can actually die from Xiushentang too. and if it's ok to tell you "NO!" to the diet pill, why can't we also say no to HCG if it is just as harmful?

    if somebody was scolding you for using HCG, maybe it wasn't because they didn't want to support you... maybe it was because they were truly scared for your health and well-being.
  • lioness0806
    lioness0806 Posts: 115 Member
    Acccept it. If it bothers you enough stop posting in the forums. I'm sure that you have supportive friends, that you'll get the response you are looking for just by posting a status update.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    ^This.

    It makes my blood boil every time I see the word "bully" thrown around on here, because 90% of the time, no one is being bullied.

    i just want to chime in here and make an observation which i feel is a common trait amongst the folks being called bullies.

    take a look at the ticker for the member who posted the above quote. she has lost 134 lbs. she knows what she's doing. alot of the so-called bullies on here have similar success stories. the reason they comment on the bad information on these forums (and don't kid yourself, there is a lot of bad information being passed off as true) is because they've been down these roads before. they've learned what works, what doesn't, and what is harmful. they want to make the learning curve easier and faster for those who are new to this.

    i don't know her at all. she's not on my friend's list. i've seen her around the forums. but she is indicative of the sort of people who are providing real help here (as well as humor), only to be called meanies and bullies for it. to be honest, it would be comical if there wasn't a small segment of overly sensitive folks who have made it their task on MFP to stalk members like her, looking for things to report to the mods to try and get these people banned. that is no different in my mind that going down to your local public library and burning all of the books that you disagree with. when you do that, you remove information from your universe. as these folks get banned from here, the same thing happens. then this site will become nothing but a giant marketplace for people selling green coffee beans or raspberry ketones or meal replacement shakes to unsuspecting newbies.

    now i don't really know if anybody is stalking her, but there have been some knowledgeable folks banned here in the past couple of weeks, whose absence is already having an negative impact around here. so the next time one of you is tempted to get angry and cry, "Bully!", take a minute to look at the person's profile and see if it's somebody who has succeeded in this long "journey" already. odds are they have and they know exactly what it's like to be in your shoes. odds are also that they are really trying to help, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. maybe, just maybe, if you ask them for clarification, you'll discover that somebody like that is EXACTLY who you want on your side.

    tumblr_lw46vwZ6pX1qhgfflo1_400.gif
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
    I wont apologize for telling people how bad hcg is. I'm here for support and to support others in their weight loss/exercise goals. If anyone brings up/asks about hcg in a forum, or one of my pals mentions it, I tell them how I feel. They, afterall, are the ones asking/talking about it.
    My niece nearly died from it after peeing black 'stuff'. She ended up in the hospital with severe kidney damage. I didn't like what she was doing, told her so and she still chose to use it.
    Ultimately, people have to make their own choices, but I don't want to see someone die from a 'quick fix' because they didn't know enough about it. That is all.

    What I wonder, how many people who have done 'quick fixes' actually keep the weight loss off?
    Since the quick fix never addresses what made them gain weight in the first place.
    Isn't that why they are always re-doing the quick fix, or looking for the next newest better one?

    Sorry to hear about your niece's effects from HCG.

    (not something I'd ever do, since well, I don't want to put weird stuff into my body, or potentially mess up any of my systems)
  • greasygriddle
    greasygriddle Posts: 32 Member
    Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly?

    *kitten*. *kitten* covered *kitten* with *kitten* filling.

    Dr. Cox hit the nail right on the head. And add to that nastiness the anonymity that is the internet, and I'm shocked that you're shocked that there are negative people on a positive site.

    There are several people who are already fit, or only had a few pounds to lose - part of the "look at me, I'm so cool and sexy" crowd, they acted like that to begin with.

    The solution?

    Start kicking them in the shin.

    this seriously made me LOL... :drinker:
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    I agree that disagreement and debate is not bullying. But just like in junior high school - when it's mocking, taunting, belittling and sarcasm-laden criticism, it's bullying. No one deserves to have their opinion or experiences rudely shouted down.
    What about when it's humour that everyone is participating in and enjoys?

    The reality is that ANYTHING can be taken as a bullying if you want.

    "Well, by saying well done for losing weight, they were saying I was fat, so they're bullying me."
    "Well by not saying well done for losing weight, they are saying I am fat, so they're bullying me."


    If people took a step back and rather than going out looking to get offended, made an effort not too - they'd not only be a lot happier, but also find that the people that ARE trying to 'bully' end up with the egg on THEIR faces.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    I actually did . I love the people who get my point that we are all equal. We are all here for the same reason and im looking for positive people to help me on my journey. For the others who have found another reason to try their hardest to disagree with someoneo all I can say is REALLY? This was supposed to be positive and some people still don't get that.

    But the title of your thread is negative in and of itself. "This site should NOT be about weight loss bullies" - not is negative. You started it off with a negative statement. Grammatically speaking, not even literal or subjective interpretation, it is negative. Ohhhh the irony.

    And HCG is bad. Very bad.

    REALLY?

    Yeah.

    Yeah!
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
    By the way, two people have just advocated violence on the thread. None of the people disagreeing with your "diet" OP, or who are "snarky," have done this.

    Am I going to report them?

    No... because I can tell they're joking.

    Hey now, I was honest to god advocating for violence and shin kicking. A little reality added to the existence of the internet might make the place a little more courteous! Like if you knew your mother was reading every word you typed...

    :grumble: crap, this IS public, she CAN read it all! :sad:

    LOL One CAN be humorous without resorting to belittling others. :flowerforyou:
  • Hello, I am new to this site, started yesterday and love it!!!!! I have been on every diet plan known to man, and been a yo you dieter all my life, starving, pills, you name it.
    The only thing I respond to is unconditional friendship, I am my own worst critic and don't need anyone else putting me down, I do a good enough job of it myself.
    There is no perfect way of losing weight and we are all individuals, some people click and some don't
    I am looking forward to my new commitment and know it is not a race, it will come off as it is supposed to, I do not want to weight myself a few times a day, but be gentle.
    I guess I am posting this to remind myself, be good to myself.
  • You can put your diary on private where only you can see it.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Okay. I can tell that people are getting worked up here, so I think everyone needs to hear the story of Timmy and Me.


    When I was growing up, our next door neighbours had a daschund named Timmy. His lady owner was very nice, but his man owner once shouted at me, because the Big Wheel I was riding up and down and up and down and up and down (etc forever) the street was too loud. He was relatively ****ish.

    Timmy and I were wonderful friends. Whenever he went for a walk (off his leash, because this was in the olden days when seat belts were optional and shirt collars were as big as your face), he would overshoot his driveway to come and see me, and kiss me and let me hug his neck. I was not tall.

    One day, my family and I were going to visit my grandparents, or some other old people who only ever had crappy candy in their house, and since I was ready before everyone else, I went outside to impatiently wait. Timmy was on his front lawn. We ran towards each other, slow-motion-on-a-beach style, to hug, and I sat down on the grass to hug him better.

    Timmy was not outside for no reason, as I discovered, after sitting on the lawn. Atop the lawn, was a fresh pile of his ****, which I sat on. In. On. Whatever. Wearing corduroy pants, as in so many situations, just made things worse.

    Anyway, my mom was very angry and I made us late in going to whatever ****ty candy place we were going to, and I totally sat in dog ****.

    The End.