it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

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  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
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    Pshh. I'm Samoan. That's a whole culture of people/ethnic group wherein the men do the cooking. Besides enjoying it, I'm proud of it.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    My dad was in the army and could fry eggs and open canned soups. when my mom was in the hospital having number 6, we had mushroom soup and rice everyday! lol!!! we loved it!

    I know how to cook.. I don't do it as well as my mom or sisters, but it's not a priority. My future husband cooks very well and enjoys it. I told him I'll prep all the veggies and he can put it all together!

    My kids eat simply. pasta, rice, meat, ... spaghetti, lasagna,... as long as they are healthy I'm well with it all. :)
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    My husband is from Thailand, a country about 4 decades behind in terms of womens lib, yet even he knows that cooking his family dinner is not in fact a feminist issue. :smile:

    he is also able to clean & hoover, he just generally doesn't as I do it (or should I say, I crack first, being unable to live with rancid bogs & messy floors, something that doesn't seem to bother him or my son, a boy thing?) but he doesn't get all misogynist about it if I do ask him to wash a floor. :bigsmile:
  • outhelia
    outhelia Posts: 2 Member
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    Maybe some women are just playing wife to their husbands and enjoy the life of cooking and serving for the one they love. If you don't, then don't cry because some of us do.
    I have the best marriage ever, the most romantic husband ever. And I serve him supper after he works hard all day.
    P.S. I even rub his feet every once in a while.

    :)

    I love being an old fashion wife to my old fashion husband. 25 years of amazing happiness.

    BTW - He is also an amazing cook, he cooks the best steak ever!!!!
  • BOOMaggedon
    BOOMaggedon Posts: 244 Member
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    I feel like I lost 15 minutes of my life reading this thread. So to the original poster...way to go you got a serious discussion going over a topic that probably applies to a very small percentage of the world.

    I too cook. I did not get this big by not knowing how to cook. I also know how to do dishes, vacuum, do laundry, fold clothes, scrub a toliet, and so on and so forth. But if I didn't and my wife married me anyway and knew this then I either set the expectations bar way too high or she thought she would "change me".

    I've noticed every place there are forums and places to vent that people tend to vent. Sometimes people vent about things that aren't worth venting about. This is one of those places and this is one of those topics. I am now 20 minutes in and it's time to go get a workout in or something. I am doubtful I have burned many calories by reading & then replying to this thread. But I am sure MFP will give me at least 100 calories burned for the 20 minutes of "Reading a thread venting about how men are babies and such and then replying to said thread."
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
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    Sexist posts only get locked if it is sexist toward women, right? Just checkin'?

    Appears so. Just so I've got this clear, OP, is it only bigotry when you're the object of the bigot?
  • Textmessage
    Textmessage Posts: 387 Member
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    Get bent with your generalizations and accusations.

    ^Agree. Lady, you sound like a @#$%^. Just sayin'.
  • LauraW1219
    LauraW1219 Posts: 71 Member
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    My son has Autism. My husband was hurt in both wars. He has medical issues and PTSD's from the war. I was one of the lucky ones that actually got her husband to come home to me. I will make anything they want. Seeing them happy after all the medical issues both have had is my goal. If they are happy and content then so am I. This is just my perspective.
  • k_winder
    k_winder Posts: 65 Member
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    We split the cooking, but it still often results in two separate meals. My husband has a gluten intolerance and a dairy allergy. I, on the other hand, refuse to never again eat milk, yogurt, cheese, whole wheat tortillas, bread, pasta, etc. We've tried gluten free breads and pastas and neither of us like them. I think soy milk, almond milk, etc is disgusting. You get the idea. Our diets don't overlap unless we're eating fruits and veggies and meats.
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Hubby and I were raised in very traditional roles...Him very Polish/Irish..and me..South Asian. I do all the cooking..He mows the lawn..I have never done it..he also shovels the snow...

    BUT..he does the laundry..all the dishes during the week..We are both content with our roles..I love when my family eats the food I cook...

    Nothing wrong with traditional or non traditional roles..as long as they work for the couple involved..who gives a *kitten*!
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
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    My son has Autism. My husband was hurt in both wars. He has medical issues and PTSD's from the war. I was one of the lucky ones that actually got her husband to come home to me. I will make anything they want. Seeing them happy after all the medical issues both have had is my goal. If they are happy and content then so am I. This is just my perspective.

    Well, I think we've all just been shown that sometimes, cooking just one meal or getting your husband to cook isn't possible, and Laura posted it in such a respectful and honest way. I think these are the kind of things people should consider before making sweeping statements like the OP.
  • emmalouc93
    emmalouc93 Posts: 328 Member
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    Who cares??

    Some women love taking care of their men to a great degree, others don't.

    Deal with it and do what you want!
  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
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    This is pretty sexist.

    My husband cooks all the time and cooks FOR ME. I don't cook unless I have to (if he's out of town). My mom raised 10 kids an we always had at least 2, (sometimes more) elderly boarders living with us so meals were HUGE and a major undertaking for one person. She preferred the older kids occupy us younger ones and always "shooed" anyone out of the kitchen while she was trying to prepare meals for everyone. She knew what she was doing and had things down to a science by the time I came along (I'm #9). Therefore, I never learned to plan meals and never learned what it takes to prepare a meal or how to mix flavors &/or ingredients to make something special.

    My husband's step-dad had a work related accident and went to culinary arts school as a second career (since he couldn't operate large construction machinery anymore) and my husband grew up learning to cook right along with him.

    It works for us.
  • rm7161
    rm7161 Posts: 505
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    I'm not married so this doesn't apply to me :D

    I always had a soft spot for chefs, and every man in my house growing up loved to cook, shrug. So I have little experience with men who don't.
  • Lacey_Cakes
    Lacey_Cakes Posts: 223 Member
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    I must be weird cause I like cooking, if my fiance is working late and I need to eat ill cook 2 separate meals and feed the baby i do it. I dont see the issue. If I'm at home and he's working, hell yea i should cook. If i get to stay home and not have to deal with being around ****ty people all day i show my appreciation with food. Im not subservient or a feminist, **** should just be equal, if i was working id expect the same. So my view is either get your *kitten* in the kitchen and quit whining or make your man put an apron on and you do the man ****. As long as everything is fair its all good.
  • BlueObsidian
    BlueObsidian Posts: 297 Member
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    This is why I dislike feminists. If you ladies want to fix the cars, take out the garbage and do all the other "traditional man" roles while your husband does the cooking and cleaning... that's your decision. But you don't have the right to call marriages where the couple enjoy traditional roles a mother/child relationship. There is absolutely nothing child like about my husband.

    You have no idea what feminism is do you?

    Do you believe you & other women have the right to vote?

    Do you drive a car?

    Do you think you & other women have the right to an education?

    Do you believe you & other women have the right to chose your role in life, whether you work or not, whether you marry or not, whether you can own property in your own name or not, whether you can take out a personal loan without requiring permission from a male relative?

    If you answer yes to any of these basic human rights then you are, in fact a feminist.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one annoyed by the person insulting feminists when they don't know what one is.

    And don't be silly, of course we can't make those choices. IT'S NOT TRADITION. God, how dare you put your opinions on me :wink: Now, excuse me while I go and do the typically masculine task, carrying a bag of rubbish to a bin.

    Unfortunately, there are a LOT of modern feminists out there who give a bad name to the entire movement. I cannot even count how many so-called feminists I've met who claim that women who stay home, have kids, or like to cook dinner for their husbands are just "tools of the patriarchy." These people aren't really about equality or allowing people to make their own decisions. They just want to project their idea of what a woman should be onto others. I was actually told at one point (in seriousness) that I couldn't be a feminist because I liked the color pink. Apparently it's evil to like anything that is remotely related to traditional gender roles.

    Now, fortunately I can tell the difference between a judgmental witch and a feminist, but I can see how that type of person could be off-putting to someone who doesn't like to be told how to live their life.
  • aliciakay3086
    aliciakay3086 Posts: 61 Member
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    This is why marriage doesn't work in the U.S. :laugh: A woman will still want to be pursued by a man, wined and dined when he catches her, provide/do the manly jobs that come up...but he better not expect anything other than the nightly headache in return for his effort - :drinker:

    Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell the truth...just sit there like a neutered dog :flowerforyou:

    I actually agree with you. Call me a throwback, but I believe that we all have responsibilities in a relationship and many women look for any opportunity to neglect theirs. Many men do too, I grant that.

    Thus I am single. :)
  • Topher1978
    Topher1978 Posts: 975 Member
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    This is why marriage doesn't work in the U.S. :laugh: A woman will still want to be pursued by a man, wined and dined when he catches her, provide/do the manly jobs that come up...but he better not expect anything other than the nightly headache in return for his effort - :drinker:

    Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell the truth...just sit there like a neutered dog :flowerforyou:

    I actually agree with you. Call me a throwback, but I believe that we all have responsibilities in a relationship and many women look for any opportunity to neglect theirs. Many men do too, I grant that.

    Thus I am single. :)
    Yes, equality in dignity, different in roles. Equality does not mean sameness. I do not want a masculine woman, and a woman that likes effeminate men will not want me. I love feminine women, not so much feminist...
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    I love feminine women, not so much feminist...

    Again, see my post above, if you agree women should have the right to do even those basic things then sorry to tell you but you are a feminist. Edumacate yourselves people. Just because some women are militant about what women should or shouldn't do doesn't mean that the whole premise of equality should be dismissed or insulted. m'kay.

    I dont' tar all men who like living in a relationship with traditional roles as sexists or misogynist even though there are plenty of them out there. I have the brain capacity to understand that even if a man likes his woman to cook & clean for him he can also respect her right to chose to do those things & to appreciate her contribution to their lives.
  • FatIsNotGood4Me
    FatIsNotGood4Me Posts: 45 Member
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    If that makes her happy so who cares! I cook and my husband cooks, we both share chores too, we both have outside jobs, we like to share and we are happy with that, at the end of the day that's all it matters.

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