He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

Verbal abuse hurts just as much as abuse, and he should Love you unconditionally, wth is wrong with some people treating others like this, if you say you have to stay and you lose weight I personally would not let him touch me, relationships are for better or wrose

NO WAY YOU WILL EVER BE THE SAME.....I COULDNT LIVE LIKE THAT REGARDLESS!

NO WOMAN SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT....WHAT A ****!

If you refuse to leave you should probably find a counselor. and work on being happy/healthy for yourself, not him.

I don't get why leaving him is out of the question. I understand that you have a kid together, plus one from a previous relationship...but good Lord, leave this idiot!
I'm sure it's easier said than done. But remember, you are choosing to bring up your children in a household with verbal and emotional abuse. They should be growing up seeing love and happiness.

Firstly, congrats on your new baby! Secondly, I am sorry to say he is an *kitten*. I just had a baby 4.5 months ago myself, and my bf was not very touchy or "into" either of the pregnancies we experienced, but he has never thrown me down like that, yet again let his family do that. You must remember, alot of men don't understand the physical AND emotional changes women go through during pregnancy and that a lot of time (myself included) you are striving for the acceptance of your partner. He should be there, on your team, and help support you in you getting healthy journey. YOU need to be happy w/ yourself and as hard as it is to not care what ppl think. Tell your bf that he has hurt your feelings, tell hium what your plan is and whatever it is he needs to b supportive and give positive criticism - after all you gave up your body/emotion to give him the best gift a woman can give a man.

In the same situation as you except currently pregnant and going through it. On top of pregnancy I have an eating disorder so he knows that calling me fat does a lot of damage. That however doesn't stop him when he's angry and trying to hurt me, even though my doctors are trying to make me gain weight so it's obvious that at least by medical standards I'm not.

Will you be able to look at him the same? That depends on how damaging the words he said to you were. For me, I won't be able to. He took a major personal issue of mine and used it against me trying to destroy me just because he was angry. It doesn't matter how many times he says he's sorry, the fact is he said what he said and it's not going to be forgotten.

It's going to stay with you forever. Words cause more damage then anything. Honestly, I would rather be hit then deal with emotional abuse like that. It's something your not going to ever be able to forgive him for.

He's trying to wake you up? Funny that's what my grandfather said to me each and every time he called me fat before I developed Bulimia. Now, on top of the Bulimia I have Anorexic tendencies and know that it's only a matter of time and weight loss before I'm going to be diagnosed as an anorexic. My mother was an anorexic and that was caused by my father's emotional abuse calling her fat when she weighed 120 pounds. The only thing that he woke me up to was how much I hate myself and how much work my body needs.

Now, because of my grandfather and now him joining in on destroying my self image, the only thing I ever think about is my weight an appearance. I'm here 7 months pregnant with a total of an 8 pound weight gain with every intention of losing those 8 pounds before I go into labor. As selfish as it sounds, I'm more concerned about my weight then anything and that's because some people cannot help but call a pregnant woman fat and ugly just because they are angry.

Your not in this alone.

Why is leaving not going to happen?

I haven't gone through this, but I did have a baby 10 months ago and put on a lot of weight. My husband has never made any comments about my weight - my weight loss journey is strictly for me.

My normal advice would be to kick him to the curb, but you have stated that you're not leaving him..

In that case, I would recommend seeing a therapist. They will help you deal with the comments he's made..

Please don't embark on this weight loss journey for anyone but yourself and your kids. And if you're breastfeeding, please talk to your doctor before juicing, sudden weight loss may affect your milk supply..

Good luck!

As Dan Savage would say, DTMF, already. HE could do better? No, YOU can do better. Do not diminish your self worth by staying with someone who doesn't deserve you.

I'm really not understanding why leaving is out of the question. Has he put that idea into your head? It doesn't matter if you have a kid with him, if he's treating you this badly you do not have to stay with him and you SHOULD NOT stay with him. He's abusing you with that behavior and you don't deserve that.

You should have told him you were embarrassed for him while you were conceiving.

All men are a-wipes. amirite?

I love threads like these. They make me look like such a hero to my wife who lurks these forums Don't get me wrong, I'm quite the catch, but these posts just validate it even more.

Your boyfriend may be an idiot but you're not much better by staying. Have a little respect for YOURSELF and your KIDS and leave. You're teaching them a dangerous cycle. It's your job as a mother to protect them.

Losing the weight will not fix everything. Please go see someone and talk about these issues. This goes far beyond your weight issues.

^^^^ This and hurry!!

I don't think you ever forget or get over emotional and mental abuse. On top of that (sorry to be negative) you probably won't be successful in your weightloss goals. You CANNOT maintain it unless it's for YOU! You have to be selfish as in doing it for yourself and putting your health goals above most everything else.... specially in the beginning.

If you are going to stay with him, get some help, living in that environment won't be easy. You can't make him change, he has to want to change. I personally would leave him. So what 2 kids and different fathers. Does it matter? Who gives a **** what others think. Live for yourself first and your kids second and forget him. Think about this, your son will learn how to treat women from this horrible man, and if you stay, you are telling him it's ok! Until you get strong enough to live for yourself do it for the kids!