No Homo?

I wouldnt diminish OP's point to simply PC whining or needless complaining. Sometimes its important for people to consider how others might perceive their seemingly lighthearted jokes, and why they might consider it offensive. Empathy is a good starting point for change. 'No homo' really is somewhat dehumanizing, and a complete buzzkill, no matter how lighthearted the
motives. Hard to not take it personal when a joke relies on the premise that there is something inherently wrong with you.

If guys feel uncomfortable with people they arent attracted to complimenting them, maybe they should consider how women feel every day with the creepy stares, whistles, and cat calls. Could you imagine thinking "If I compliment this girl, at the very least Ill get decked, and at worst tied to a fence post and left to die." This is the daily reality for plenty of homos, and the result of the prejudice the 'joke' is based on.

I'm glad you're proud you're gay. Frankly I couldn't care less either way. Im straight and you're gay. You "yes homo" me "no homo." If you commented on a girls photo and felt the need to clarify you were gay It wouldn't upset me. If I comment on a guys photo and feel the need to clarify I'm straight why should it upset you? Let's save getting worked up for real life problems. In the meantime, I hope everyone enjoys the view from their high horse of political correctness.

I'm glad you're proud you're gay. Frankly I couldn't care less either way. Im straight and you're gay. You "yes homo" me "no homo." If you commented on a girls photo and felt the need to clarify you were gay It wouldn't upset me. If I comment on a guys photo and feel the need to clarify I'm straight why should it upset you? Let's save getting worked up for real life problems. In the meantime, I hope everyone enjoys the view from their high horse of political correctness.

Its not about political correctness. The 'need' for this clarification is based on the fear of being perceived that particular way. This fear or insecurity is the basis of the joke, which depend on the idea that there is something inherently wrong with being perceived that way. So the need for clarification is based on the idea that there is something wrong with "yes homo." This prejudice has resulted in tons of violent attacks on people, and it is no inconsequential matter of political correctness. The fear of being assaulted is a daily reality for lots of homos, in situations you would never even consider that possibility. Its completely dehumanizing. It is not a trivial matter.

It is upsetting because when you make that clarification, you are saying that there is something inherently wrong with *me*. Im sure plenty of guys here compliment the success of women on here theyd never consider being attracted to. The difference is you don't feel compelled to point out how you are not attracted to them every time you do so.

'Then why use it' - as I said - to acknowledge the comedy of a statement that can be taken in another way like a double entendre. Much like "that's what she said" or "said the actress to the bishop".

Also - if we assume the comment is made seriously, and not as a joke (at no one's expense). Just because my view on homosexuality is neutral, that doesn't mean that I would necessarily want people to think that I was homosexual. Especially if I had paid a complement to a person and thought they may take it in the sense that it was a sexual advance. That would be embarrassing. Similarly; I don't hate women, but I would be upset if a person thought I was a woman.

Similarly, I would expect that a homosexual person would, whilst probably not bothered much either way in most circumstances, not want to be thought of as heterosexual - particularly in circumstances where it could change people's perceptions of the comments they are making. i.e. sexual advance vs genuine compliment.

Those are all fair points but it does not detract from the fact that a person could simply use other language to convey their embarrassment that the man in question may think you are making a sexual advance. Why do this? Tying the making of a sexual advance to the words "no homo" when you are intending to make a compliment instead of saying "I'm not hitting on you dude so keep your pants on" for example is problematic.

It is a (much) more diluted form of the idea that somehow gay people are "different" (other than sexual orientation of course and unable to control their urges. The more extreme versions of course are the way conversations can turn to bestiality when discussing if homosexuality is natural or paedophilia when discussing gay people adopting.

Our minds work by association, on many levels unconscious, and sometimes ideas are insidious - they creep in and take root. Perpetuating a negative association, while it may not be intended at all, will impact more on a group who are traditionally more oppressed than the group which is in a dominant position or one of power.

Simply because a person does not intend to cause harm by making a "joke" does not mean it will not happen (even though it may not be direct of course)

Ok fair, and I see your point. I just think its a bit of an assumption that simpling saying "no homo" is rooted in insecurities about sexual identity when it could very likely be and most likely is a way to more comfortably cross a cultural norm of how 2 straight men communicate. In Africa 2 straight men hold hands and jog together but it would be odd for me to grab my friends hand in the mall in America and go on my way, he might think it was odd. This has nothing to do with sexual identity, but rather invading a personal boundary that exists in the culture I grew up in. There is a clear distinction. I would say if it makes someone uncomfortable than why not simply cater to that person, but everything makes someone uncomfortable and in some cases it seems people simply like to stir the pot if you will. For the record I don't think I've ever even used the term, I just get tired of people reading so deeply into everything these days when some things should just be taken for face value.

why is everyone so obsessed with the gay thing? I always hear they just want to be accepted as equals yet they are constantly throwing s**t like this in everyones faces...everyone gets offended sometimes but most don't constantly have to complain about it...grow up and get some balls and let it run off you!! I am fat have been have been ridiculed for it!!! should I get on here and start a thread about it!!??:explode: :grumble:

In summary can someone state they aren't homosexual without implying its bad to be homosexual?

The idea that people will not stop using a term is not news. By even caring about it you give it power. No Homo, Bro.

That is so far from the point that it makes my head hurt.

And please, don't ask me what the point is because you have participated in this thread long enough that if you're going to get it, you would have already.

Irony.
Says he's not racist. Posts racist joke.

irony,
says joke is racist, doesnt understand what the word racist means.

I'd say jingoist or xenophobic or even anti-semitic but I want to make sure you get it.

In the common-day parlance, "racist" has become the cognitive synonym of those terms for this type of attempted humor at the cost of a social/ethnic group. Your example is racist in that sense. To try to worm your way out of it is at best a "no true dutchman" fallacy - no joke is truly racist by the tightest definition of racism if it doesn't specifically speak about races, it's still an attempt to get a chuckle (a poor one) by the denigration of an cultural minority or ethnic group.

In case you can't get that and need simple definitions, here you go: your joke is offensive.

Clearly missing the point of the joke...

Just so you are clear let me spell it out - the joke sets up as if it is a racist joke with the expected outcome being one of making light of some dead Arab people. It then flips it, drawing attention to one's original assumption and making us question our own ideas and prejudices.

The only person who should be offended by that joke is the hardcore racist.

That joke has its source from the old well known and often repeated "What do you call 10 xxx (lawyers, etc) at the bottom of the ocean. A good start."

But sure, an attempt to create a "gotcha" moment using the contiguity of racist elements to poke fun at what might be internalized racist prejudices or just simply the way language works - rote and formula are part of speech patterns.

It does draw attention to those - but I'm doubting it questions anything.

If the joke was never finished and and just left to hang with the question, I'd still call it racist. It doesn't get a free pass from the de-escalated punchline - given that the visual image one creates with the set-up is contextual.

Acknowledging that racist stereotypes exist is not racist.

The people who are the butt (no homo) of this joke are racists.

'Then why use it' - as I said - to acknowledge the comedy of a statement that can be taken in another way like a double entendre. Much like "that's what she said" or "said the actress to the bishop".

Also - if we assume the comment is made seriously, and not as a joke (at no one's expense). Just because my view on homosexuality is neutral, that doesn't mean that I would necessarily want people to think that I was homosexual. Especially if I had paid a complement to a person and thought they may take it in the sense that it was a sexual advance. That would be embarrassing. Similarly; I don't hate women, but I would be upset if a person thought I was a woman.

Similarly, I would expect that a homosexual person would, whilst probably not bothered much either way in most circumstances, not want to be thought of as heterosexual - particularly in circumstances where it could change people's perceptions of the comments they are making. i.e. sexual advance vs genuine compliment.

Those are all fair points but it does not detract from the fact that a person could simply use other language to convey their embarrassment that the man in question may think you are making a sexual advance. Why do this? Tying the making of a sexual advance to the words "no homo" when you are intending to make a compliment instead of saying "I'm not hitting on you dude so keep your pants on" for example is problematic.

It is a (much) more diluted form of the idea that somehow gay people are "different" (other than sexual orientation of course and unable to control their urges. The more extreme versions of course are the way conversations can turn to bestiality when discussing if homosexuality is natural or paedophilia when discussing gay people adopting.

Our minds work by association, on many levels unconscious, and sometimes ideas are insidious - they creep in and take root. Perpetuating a negative association, while it may not be intended at all, will impact more on a group who are traditionally more oppressed than the group which is in a dominant position or one of power.

Simply because a person does not intend to cause harm by making a "joke" does not mean it will not happen (even though it may not be direct of course)

All of your second paragraph is you putting some huge weight of social commentary onto a tiny little statement.

Context and intention are everything. If I were to complement a guy and say "I don't mean that in a gay way - I am not gay and I am not hitting on you", you could interpret that as me meaning "...ugh, gay...that's dirty...bleh.." or you could interpret it as me saying "I don't mean that in a gay way - I am not gay and I am not hitting on you".

If you choose to take it the former way, that is your issue. I believe there is a right to not be offended, but when people get offended by nothing jokes like this, they are abusing that right and ultimately diminishing that right for those who genuinely should be using it.

why is everyone so obsessed with the gay thing? I always hear they just want to be accepted as equals yet they are constantly throwing s**t like this in everyones faces...everyone gets offended sometimes but most don't constantly have to complain about it...grow up and get some balls and let it run off you!! I am fat have been have been ridiculed for it!!! should I get on here and start a thread about it!!??:explode: :grumble:

There are a few differences. You can't change gay, nor is it a diseased state of the body. One does usually choose to be fat, however, as a result of their chosen activity level and food intake (disease and disability not withstanding.) Obesity has objective negative impacts on society, personal health, and family health. Not that that justifies bullying. There is just a bit of truth to the criticisms of obesity. Trust me, we have plenty of balls. We deal with crap on a daily basis that you couldnt even imagine. Some of us find strength in adversity, and sadly many others never find that strength, as evidenced by the extremely high rate of suicide among LGBT peoples, 2nd only to suicide rates among the elderly in the West. Its a completely different thing.

Im sure there are plenty of other discussions on here that you don't find relevant to yourself. Do you join those discussions and criticize those people for engaging in a discussion you are not interested in? If you want to know why everyone is 'obsessed with the gay thing' you might consider reading what we are saying.

The idea that people will not stop using a term is not news. By even caring about it you give it power. No Homo, Bro.

That is so far from the point that it makes my head hurt.

And please, don't ask me what the point is because you have participated in this thread long enough that if you're going to get it, you would have already.

Not sure I really care about the actual point. If your head hurts I would suggest Tylenol, though. Really, I'm here for the drama. I'm a very bored and sad human being, and I need to get my excitement here for fear that I will wake up having blacked out, naked and lying next to a dead deer.

Is it weird that when I read "No Homo?" I opened this thread fully expecting the opening line to include "sapiens"? Not for a second did "gay" cross my mind. I've never heard or read this (yet) and do not understand the need for clarification, unless I ask you on a date, or into my basement.

-And I thought it was going to be about milk. Lol

Are the majority of guys on this site so insecure with their sexuality that if they compliment another guy, they have to end the comment with "no homo"? As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer. Yes homo.

Doesn't no homo kinda make it homo

Like instead of "impressively massive pecs (I notice there in isolation) <full stop>"

it comes across like "impressively massive pecs - (thoughts become sexual)... oooops insecurities cant compliment without...!!! What will people think) .. "No homo"

why is everyone so obsessed with the gay thing? I always hear they just want to be accepted as equals yet they are constantly throwing s**t like this in everyones faces...everyone gets offended sometimes but most don't constantly have to complain about it...grow up and get some balls and let it run off you!! I am fat have been have been ridiculed for it!!! should I get on here and start a thread about it!!??:explode: :grumble:

There are a few differences. You can't change gay, nor is it a diseased state of the body. One does usually choose to be fat, however, as a result of their chosen activity level and food intake (disease and disability not withstanding.) Obesity has objective negative impacts on society, personal health, and family health. Not that that justifies bullying. There is just a bit of truth to the criticisms of obesity. Trust me, we have plenty of balls. We deal with crap on a daily basis that you couldnt even imagine. Some of us find strength in adversity, and sadly many others never find that strength, as evidenced by the extremely high rate of suicide among LGBT peoples, 2nd only to suicide rates among the elderly in the West. Its a completely different thing.

Im sure there are plenty of other discussions on here that you don't find relevant to yourself. Do you join those discussions and criticize those people for engaging in a discussion you are not interested in? If you want to know why everyone is 'obsessed with the gay thing' you might consider reading what we are saying.

in fact you don't have a clue who or what I am...I am 50 married and have at least 3 openly gay friends...I don't think them strange or different because they don't act different...that is my point!!! Don't try to push your sexual preference ...I don't go around saying I am straight to lots of people. Who cares if your gay who cares if you aren't!!