Pop Tart Cleanse Anybody? Looking for Feedback.

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  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
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    I'll call it even. It's a lesson I needed to learn anyway.

    No crap. You've lost, what, 153 pounds counting calories or whatever?? You're probably not ready for the massive fat-burning power of a good Kellogg's colonic. Sigh. Amateurs.
    baseketball.gif
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
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    This thread is so insightful. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Aarjono
    Aarjono Posts: 228 Member
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    Not this again.

    Listen. There is no secret. You just eat 1/10th your weight in pop tarts. So, if you weigh 300bls, you eat 30 poptarts each day. As the pounds melt away you just have to KEEP SUBTRACTING POP TARTS.

    If you keep eating 30 pop tarts a day you'll go into tartvation mode.

    My husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law swears that you have to start and finish with a 1 gallon double sugar Blastin' Berry Cherry Koo-laid enema or it won't work.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    My husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law swears that you have to start and finish with a 1 gallon double sugar Blastin' Berry Cherry Koo-laid enema or it won't work.

    Signed up in 2013? Still gets it. Faith in humanity? RESTORED!
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    <<<<- --- Red Velvet Pop Tarts w/ Red Velvet Ben & Jerry's cleaned all the toxins out for me.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I'll call it even. It's a lesson I needed to learn anyway.

    No crap. You've lost, what, 153 pounds counting calories or whatever?? You're probably not ready for the massive fat-burning power of a good Kellogg's colonic. Sigh. Amateurs.
    baseketball.gif
    I hear your sister's goin' out with Squeak!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    You need at least 4 boxes to effectively clean and you are a disgusting SOB for not getting the kind with frosting. You'll never cleanse or jump start without frosting. DUH!!!!!
  • walkinon_sunshine
    walkinon_sunshine Posts: 36
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    IN!!!

    Pop Tarts will reboot your taste buds. They'll also kick-start your weight loss, jump-start your metabolism and detox teh toxinzzz (especially if you get the ones with green sprinkles, because EVERYBODY knows that any detox involves green stuff).

    LOL!
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Eat the entire box, minus 20% (in place of a recipe book), 3 times a day, plus a half portion with milk for snacks.
  • savbentley
    savbentley Posts: 103
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    I personally prefer upping my poptart game with the ever so delicious poptart lasagna.
    So you get the cookie-dough kind and the brownie kind- mmkay? Then just LAYER THAT ****. ALL OF THEM. WITH CHOCOLATE ICING. I suggest layers of actual cookie dough for that added fat busting BOOM.
    Pop it in the oven for like 15- and VOILA! Your fat cells are going to be crying for mercy and practically sprinting off you.

    Mark my words.
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
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    Hangry?
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    You could take them as suppositories. But I don't know anyone with a slot shaped sphincter.

    LOL! :laugh:
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
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    should i take these orally or as suppositories?

    i feel like it would work better if i were uncomfortable in the process. you know what they say... no pain, no gain.

    weight loss is supposed to be difficult and i feel bad by cheating to get my results in 1 weekend instead of several months, so it would make me feel better if i could tell people how difficult it was.
    what about using a coffee enema to wash it "up" with:bigsmile:
    great thread! thanks OP..
    BTW i am a kelvin fan...imagination helps:laugh:
  • SarahCW1979
    SarahCW1979 Posts: 572 Member
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    If you keep eating 30 pop tarts a day you'll go into tartvation mode.

    WINNER :laugh:
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    My husband's cousin's neighbor's dog-walker's dentist's brother-in-law swears that you have to start and finish with a 1 gallon double sugar Blastin' Berry Cherry Koo-laid enema or it won't work.

    Signed up in 2013? Still gets it. Faith in humanity? RESTORED!

    Aarjono is obviously cool since they have a "grumpy cat in mardigras attire" avatar.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    You could take them as suppositories. But I don't know anyone with a slot shaped sphincter.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
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    This thread made much more sense after I went to Google what a bloody Pop Tart was.
  • supah_
    supah_ Posts: 78 Member
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    i've purchased the strawberry flavored Pop Tart cleanse (without icing) in the large box, so it should work twice as well.

    how many do i eat in order to jump start my metabolism?

    should i drink milk with it, or will dairy jump start my metabolism too much?

    please tell me only what i want to hear.

    :flowerforyou:
    Does this cleanse involve pooping rainbows like nyancat?
  • supah_
    supah_ Posts: 78 Member
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    This thread made much more sense after I went to Google what a bloody Pop Tart was.

    they're a bad idea for anyone to eat. my niece was eating one one day - i swear i remember 70-odd grams of carbs for each pop tart. totally gross flavors like cotton candy.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I'll call it even. It's a lesson I needed to learn anyway.

    No crap.

    is the inevitable result of od-ing on pop tart suppositories when you don't drink enough water to flush it all through

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