How to flirt on MFP

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Replies

  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    I hate to waste a good gif:

    i-need-caulk.gif
  • actingnurse1
    actingnurse1 Posts: 153 Member
    That way your female friends think you are harmless and would never creep or stalk or show up on their front porch with a turkey baster and a jar of vap-o-rub.

    I prefer to stick with a saddle, can of motor oil, and a weed whacker.
  • throttle2009
    throttle2009 Posts: 138
    Just show them your boobs. Works everytime.

    this thread just picked up again! ^^ That works!

    (refilling my popcorn now)
  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
    Some of you are just downright rude and vulgar. Take a break!

    You can't tell me what to do.

    Sup girl... nice cans... want to go for a walk?

    ^^THIS is how it's done!
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
    Just show them your boobs. Works everytime.

    ^^^ This... because my boobs are about the only thing I have going for myself.... :laugh:

    Plus... what guy does not like boobs???
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    true story! This has happened to me.... sad sad lonely junk of someone who probably shouldn't be so proud to throw their junk out there to a complete stranger...

    It's like fishing, you throw your bait out there in the lake, and see which fish come by for a nibble. You probably won't see a lot of response, so you just sit back and drink beer. Eventually, you wil lcome across someone desperate enough to take the hook.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member

    Lel.

    No refund bro.


    86771E1A-D18B-4816-8204-71FAB0907E48-6731-00000821D35FA6BE_zpsf9896317.jpg

    Daaaaamn. Hey, if you worked for UPS I'd gladly let you handle my package....

    (ps: in all seriousness, you are gorgeous lady. If you drink Singha beer as well you are probably perfect ;)
  • Lucia120382
    Lucia120382 Posts: 427
    never believe it what is he saying, its just a bull**** and lie anyway.
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
    Here's the surefire ways for guys. Girls love,

    Animal lovers who have cute puppies
    IMAG0259_zpsf82a99e4.jpg

    Well dressed men
    IMAG0098_zpsae45db04.jpg

    Men not afraid to get dirty
    429775_402108906521940_657978774_n_zps7fa21464.jpg

    and Men in Kilts
    IMAG0465_zps1267e683.jpg


    As you read this there are also women reading this whilst removing their panties without even realizing it.

    your welcome
  • BranMuffin86
    BranMuffin86 Posts: 314 Member
    You only need to know 4 phrases:

    "9" (or 10)

    "ONS"

    "Hot"

    "How YOU Doin'?"

    Ha Ha Ha!! This is hilarious!!
  • highmaintnance
    highmaintnance Posts: 215 Member
    This is making work much more bearable and proves that once you give people some anonymity and put them with people of the opposite sex, there will be flirting....and pics of junk.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:
  • twelfty
    twelfty Posts: 576 Member

    i have... but ummm i ummm lost it plus my camera is broken and..... i dont even own a phone but i SWEAR my profile picture is what i look like :P

    Says..... Keith, 48, M lives in his mothers basement in UT. :laugh:

    :)
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:

    Screw that. I just want to treat you with respect, dignity, and chivalry.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?


    LOL!!! Wait.. are you serial?
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:

    I love you!
  • silky_kitten
    silky_kitten Posts: 171 Member
    There is nothing better than a man in a kilt, that much is true! However, the dude in the background with the fairy wings confuses me a little.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member

    Lel.

    No refund bro.


    [img]http://i1358. Daaaaamn. Hey, if you worked for UPS I'd gladly let you handle my package.... (ps: in all seriousness, you are gorgeous lady. If you drink Singha beer as well you are probably perfect ;)[/img]

    Singha is the nectar of gods.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    true story! This has happened to me.... sad sad lonely junk of someone who probably shouldn't be so proud to throw their junk out there to a complete stranger...

    It's like fishing, you throw your bait out there in the lake, and see which fish come by for a nibble. You probably won't see a lot of response, so you just sit back and drink beer. Eventually, you wil lcome across someone desperate enough to take the hook.

    And then what? Take em home & mount them on your wall?
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
    This is making work much more bearable and proves that once you give people some anonymity and put them with people of the opposite sex, there will be flirting....and pics of junk.

    Haha.. yes my work day is not as boring as it could be right now.. :laugh:
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:

    Screw that. I just want to treat you with respect, dignity, and chivalry.


    :laugh: How you doin??
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I feel so old. I never did the whole "You got skype?

    It was always on MSN/AOL or a Chatroom...

    Hi asl?

    17 f uk. U?

    20 m CA. U got webcam?

    Awe... I miss those days.

    ah, the birth of internet flirting: A/S/L
    Except my time was even BEFORE webcams existed. LOL.

    Sadly me too. Groups. That was the way back then.... Newsgroups. Actually, I predate that with the old dial-up bulletin boards. *old*
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Have a bunch of pictures of you with your daughters in your profile. That way your female friends think you are harmless and would never creep or stalk or show up on their front porch with a turkey baster and a jar of vap-o-rub.

    THIS! THIS! THIS!

    Can substitute dog for daughter!
    Now you understand my profile picture.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I'm very disappointed in this thread. I came here for some good advice, and all I see is a bunch of flirting. The title clearly states "how to flirt on MFP", which insinuates there will be advice, lessons, etc. This is sad, just sad, and truly reveals the state of MFP today. For shame!

    We're using the EDGE method of teaching. This is the Demonstration portion. Soon we will Guide you through it.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:

    I got those from posting on the colon cleansing thread. :huh:
  • TheLuSir
    TheLuSir Posts: 1,674 Member
    Step 1: Google Hottie
    Step 2: Copy photo of Hottie.
    Step 3: Upload Hottie to MFP

    Now it doesn't matter what you say, you will be saying it sexy.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Sign in.

    would bang.

    ONS

    I feel dumb, but what's "ONS?"

    Go out with me for a night, and I'll explain it.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member

    Singha is the nectar of gods.

    Daaaaaaaamn. You’re so lovely you make me want to go out and get a job....

    Ladies and gentleman, that is how you flirt on MFP ;) Thank you to my lovely assistant, the gorgeous Ms Mutant, a no finer specimen of a woman you could how to find on my MFP. Next week, I will be demonstrating how to make sweet, sweet love to a woman on MFP.

    I'm here all week. Try the veal.
  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?

    I wish I knew how to paste .gif's in here cuz I'd put one of someone laughing hysterically right here.

    For now, this is the best I can do...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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