How to flirt on MFP

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Replies

  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:

    Screw that. I just want to treat you with respect, dignity, and chivalry.

    :love:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    Step 1: Google Hottie
    Step 2: Copy photo of Hottie.
    Step 3: Upload Hottie to MFP

    Now it doesn't matter what you say, you will be saying it sexy.


    ^^^ THIS :laugh:
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?


    I would be flattered.. married or not, you can still give compliments... my best friends husband always compliments me and it is innocent. She is right there and she compliments me too. So I dont see the harm in trying to flatter someone. Just sayin!!!

    :flowerforyou: :wink:
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    MFP has really helped me flirt in real life. I now walk up to random strangers in the grocery store and blurt out "One Night Stand" or "Date"

    Be careful though. I got arrested for pulling my junk out at the library and sking the reference librarian to show me her boobs.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?

    Debbie
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member

    Singha is the nectar of gods.

    Daaaaaaaamn. You’re so lovely you make me want to go out and get a job....

    Ladies and gentleman, that is how you flirt on MFP ;) Thank you to my lovely assistant, the gorgeous Ms Mutant, a no finer specimen of a woman you could how to find on my MFP. Next week, I will be demonstrating how to make sweet, sweet love to a woman on MFP.

    I'm here all week. Try the veal.


    :laugh: :blushing: Love the first line....
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I want more pics of junk. :(

    junkyard-gif.gif


    Am I doing this right?
  • luckymonkey1966
    luckymonkey1966 Posts: 7
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?

    Sup? DTF?
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    how about "don't flirt and focus on your fitness"

    flirt with people in real life, not online.

    What are you some freak sociopath?
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  • rockangel8907
    rockangel8907 Posts: 429 Member
    Just post anything on the Fetish thread. You will have offers to tie you up, spank you, cover you in candle wax, blindfold you, suck on your toes, be your slave, be your master, offer plushy love, make you teachers pet, wear your shoes and panties, eat chocolate off of your body .... not that I would know anything about that :blushing:

    I love you!

    Must. Find. fetish. Thread. Oooh baby baby!
  • luckymonkey1966
    luckymonkey1966 Posts: 7
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?
    WOW! angry much? I do like your pics tho they make me want to "lope the mule" and yes my wife is ok with me saying so because she wants to "flip your burger" so what would your bitter tirade look like to swingers that just want to have some fun without the stick in the muds?
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I inbox them photos of my boobs from every angle so they can decide immediately if I'm worth their time.

    You got to be a little more direct Coy girl!

    Straight up vag pics. Close up, all burger.

    How YOU doin'?
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    34889285.jpg
  • luckyjuls
    luckyjuls Posts: 505 Member
    34889285.jpg

    A+
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    "hey gurl, you look good for 99, what are you wearing?"

    or junk pics...

    :noway:
  • twelfty
    twelfty Posts: 576 Member
    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?

    I wish I knew how to paste .gif's in here cuz I'd put one of someone laughing hysterically right here.

    For now, this is the best I can do...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    mmmmmmmmmmmmother of god you have a sexy body.... how did i do?!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    Sadly, the creepers I get seem to be 10 plus years older than myself, married or in a relationship, and messaging my inbox about my hair/eyes/pics (insert random compliment about my physical self here). When you call them on their ****, they backpeddle and say "I didn't mean it that way..jeez, can't you take a compliment?". Make no mistake boys. We know there is an agenda behind those "compliments". If you want to flirt, be direct. Just ask "are you single" or something like that. Oh, and a note to the attached men. It is never appropriate to send random women online random compliments about their body and expect us to think it's "JUST A COMPLIMENT" come on now. Would your wife/gf be OK with you sending random compliments about some strange girls *kitten* online? How would YOu feel if she was doing the same to random guys online. Would you think it's "and innocent compliment"?

    Sup? DTF?

    ^^ yes this will work for sure.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    What is needed is an offline class in understanding how to know when someone is flirting with you or just engaging in polite conversation. I find that if I say hello to certain women, she will wave her wedding ring in my face and awkwardly start talking about her husband. I want to say "Don't flatter yourself lady, talking is considered good manners where I come from."

    Been there. Just because I slip my hand in your pants, that does not mean I am trying to hump you.
  • raychulj
    raychulj Posts: 458 Member
    Here's the surefire ways for guys. Girls love,

    Animal lovers who have cute puppies
    IMAG0259_zpsf82a99e4.jpg

    Well dressed men
    IMAG0098_zpsae45db04.jpg

    Men not afraid to get dirty
    429775_402108906521940_657978774_n_zps7fa21464.jpg

    and Men in Kilts
    IMAG0465_zps1267e683.jpg


    As you read this there are also women reading this whilst removing their panties without even realizing it.

    your welcome
    omg! Where are my panties?!
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    "hey gurl, you look good for 99, what are you wearing?"

    or junk pics...

    :noway:

    Julie, you look good for 29........

    :flowerforyou:
  • rockangel8907
    rockangel8907 Posts: 429 Member
    I like to start with this winner of a line, "I'd like to dip you in cheese and spread you on a ritz cracker
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?

    I wish I knew how to paste .gif's in here cuz I'd put one of someone laughing hysterically right here.

    For now, this is the best I can do...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    mmmmmmmmmmmmother of god you have a sexy body.... how did i do?!

    Never reference God. How do you know she's not atheist?
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    true story! This has happened to me.... sad sad lonely junk of someone who probably shouldn't be so proud to throw their junk out there to a complete stranger...

    It's like fishing, you throw your bait out there in the lake, and see which fish come by for a nibble. You probably won't see a lot of response, so you just sit back and drink beer. Eventually, you wil lcome across someone desperate enough to take the hook.

    And then what? Take em home & mount them on your wall?

    Nope. Duct tape to the water heater. Have you never followed my posts?
  • twelfty
    twelfty Posts: 576 Member
    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?

    I wish I knew how to paste .gif's in here cuz I'd put one of someone laughing hysterically right here.

    For now, this is the best I can do...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    mmmmmmmmmmmmother of god you have a sexy body.... how did i do?!

    Never reference God. How do you know she's not atheist?

    i follow it up with a line like i don't even believe in god but you just changed my mind ;)
  • __stacyb
    __stacyb Posts: 306
    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    perfect! this is someone who knows how to flirt!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    1) Enter date/rate/hump/celebrity look alike thread

    2) date/rate/hump/angelie jolie everyone

    3) Watch the FR roll in and choose your prey

    I read date/rate as date rape

    Not sure if need glasses or freudian slip

    That works too. I'm sure there's a thread.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
    Here's the surefire ways for guys. Girls love,

    Animal lovers who have cute puppies
    IMAG0259_zpsf82a99e4.jpg

    Well dressed men
    IMAG0098_zpsae45db04.jpg

    Men not afraid to get dirty
    429775_402108906521940_657978774_n_zps7fa21464.jpg

    and Men in Kilts
    IMAG0465_zps1267e683.jpg


    As you read this there are also women reading this whilst removing their panties without even realizing it.

    your welcome
    omg! Where are my panties?!

    Check the floor by my bed hottie
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