Why the need to bring people down who are in shape?
Options
Replies
-
I think she looks great.
The only thing I don't enjoy about the competition look is the fact that people have to fake tan themselves to improve the look of their muscles. I don't think this should be a requirement of competitions unless you want to do it.0 -
I think some of it comes from the fact that people see from a person's avatar that they are very fit and in excellent shape.... and assume that they were born that way, and that they've never had to work or struggle, and therefore can't possibly offer any relevant advice to someone who's struggling. There's a very similar thing going on when women laugh at advice given by men (seen this a few times here in the last few days) because "how can a man understand the struggles of a woman?" kind of attitude.
This is a shame, because it means they are ignoring the advice of people who HAVE been there, who have successfully overcome what they are struggling with, and are giving advice which is highly likely to work, from nothing more than a desire to help.0 -
I think she looks great.
The only thing I don't enjoy about the competition look is the fact that people have to fake tan themselves to improve the look of their muscles. I don't think this should be a requirement of competitions unless you want to do it.
The organization that I competed with does not require it. There were a couple of girls that didn't. I can say though, there is a huge difference without it and not for the better. It looks alot different on stage under the lights. I did the spray tan.
As for the OP. I don't think there is anything else I can add that others haven't.0 -
I can't see why anyone wouldn't want to tan for a show. Just my opinion, but I seem to look in a lot better shape when I am tan. Plus (and I don't know) but don't they paint/air brush (I can't recall the proper word for it) now for competitions to enhance the look of muscle definition and to create illusions instead of spray tan? I see a ton of benefits to that. You can make it darker in some spots and highlight others. And if everyone else in the show is doing it, they will have an advantage, if you don't do it.I think she looks great.
The only thing I don't enjoy about the competition look is the fact that people have to fake tan themselves to improve the look of their muscles. I don't think this should be a requirement of competitions unless you want to do it.0 -
I used to be more vocal about not liking females with large muscles. And I've thought about it a lot, why I feel a need to vocalize and degrade others. Part of it was a lack of self esteem.
Another, bigger, part was a mentality I was faced with whenever I mentioned to somebody that I wanted to lose weight or get in shape. A LOT of people I talked with implied that if I didn't have muscle definition I'd be gross. So I'd retaliate saying that I think lots of muscle definition on women is gross, and I started to believe that and said it more and more often.
But obviously it isn't gross. I don't think it is unhealthy or unattractive for women or men to have lots of muscle. There are many different people with different fitness goals, and just because one person wants to be cut doesn't mean everyone needs to, and just because I don't want muscle definition doesn't mean nobody should. Of course, it took a long time and quite a bit of reflection to get to that point of finding everyone beautiful for their own sake.
Of course this is just my experience, I'm sure others have different reasons why they bring people down.0 -
The expectation isn't that everybody wants to be "ripped". The expectation is that if you don't like the way somebody's body looks, don't say anything at all. If I click on somebody's success thread and see that they've lost 50 pounds, but most of it was muscle mass and they now look like a skinny, saggy, droopy mess, I don't post "ewww, skinnyfat, I'd NEVER want to look like that!". I hit the 'back' button on my browser and go find another thread. A lot of other people do the same, based upon what I've seen in the success threads, because the vast majority of the people who respond are congratulatory and positive. That's not always the case when somebody is "ripped" and/or muscular - some people have a seemingly irresistible compulsion to offer their two cents about how it looks too "masculine",it's unappealing, or some other negative comment on some part of the person's anatomy. That's the double standard Jojo referred to earlier in the thread. Instead, how about you hit your freaking back button, leave the freaking thread and go offer a more positive opinion to someone who's "curvy" (still fat, in other words) or skinnyfat or whatever. I'm sure they'll appreciate your input much more than the person whose parade you just rained upon....I also am tired of people expecting everyone who is trying to get in shape and or get healthy that they want to look "ripped". No, that isn't everyones goal. We are all individual and we all have our own vision of beauty.
wow so the op gf isn't curvy then? I mean I think I still saw hips and breasts but hey maybe I'm wrong. I didn't really ogle her. One can be thin, in shape and not muscular.
But then I suppose that isn't your idea of what in shape is.
More than one person in the past has suggested I do weight lifting to get in shape. They have shown me pictures of ripped women to show me how beautiful I could be if I did more strength training. That isn't and never will be my goal.
Jump on me for merely offering my opinion when I am always a friendly and giving person. Yes, that so shows me the error of my ways. Mock my ideals. Yes, so superior.
So I posted an opinion on someones post ranting about peoples negative opinions. I have never and will never comment negatively on someones success or call someone ugly, deformed or gross. Your attitude sickens me.
Goodbye0 -
I used to be more vocal about not liking females with large muscles. And I've thought about it a lot, why I feel a need to vocalize and degrade others. Part of it was a lack of self esteem.
Another, bigger, part was a mentality I was faced with whenever I mentioned to somebody that I wanted to lose weight or get in shape. A LOT of people I talked with implied that if I didn't have muscle definition I'd be gross. So I'd retaliate saying that I think lots of muscle definition on women is gross, and I started to believe that and said it more and more often.
But obviously it isn't gross. I don't think it is unhealthy or unattractive for women or men to have lots of muscle. There are many different people with different fitness goals, and just because one person wants to be cut doesn't mean everyone needs to, and just because I don't want muscle definition doesn't mean nobody should. Of course, it took a long time and quite a bit of reflection to get to that point of finding everyone beautiful for their own sake.
Of course this is just my experience, I'm sure others have different reasons why they bring people down.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I used to be more vocal about not liking females with large muscles. And I've thought about it a lot, why I feel a need to vocalize and degrade others. Part of it was a lack of self esteem.
Another, bigger, part was a mentality I was faced with whenever I mentioned to somebody that I wanted to lose weight or get in shape. A LOT of people I talked with implied that if I didn't have muscle definition I'd be gross. So I'd retaliate saying that I think lots of muscle definition on women is gross, and I started to believe that and said it more and more often.
But obviously it isn't gross. I don't think it is unhealthy or unattractive for women or men to have lots of muscle. There are many different people with different fitness goals, and just because one person wants to be cut doesn't mean everyone needs to, and just because I don't want muscle definition doesn't mean nobody should. Of course, it took a long time and quite a bit of reflection to get to that point of finding everyone beautiful for their own sake.
Of course this is just my experience, I'm sure others have different reasons why they bring people down.
:flowerforyou:
I will add one also. :flowerforyou:
And it is also NEVER be appropriate to put anyone down for not wanting muscle definition and you had every right to get upset about it also - it works both ways.0 -
I used to be more vocal about not liking females with large muscles. And I've thought about it a lot, why I feel a need to vocalize and degrade others. Part of it was a lack of self esteem.
Another, bigger, part was a mentality I was faced with whenever I mentioned to somebody that I wanted to lose weight or get in shape. A LOT of people I talked with implied that if I didn't have muscle definition I'd be gross. So I'd retaliate saying that I think lots of muscle definition on women is gross, and I started to believe that and said it more and more often.
But obviously it isn't gross. I don't think it is unhealthy or unattractive for women or men to have lots of muscle. There are many different people with different fitness goals, and just because one person wants to be cut doesn't mean everyone needs to, and just because I don't want muscle definition doesn't mean nobody should. Of course, it took a long time and quite a bit of reflection to get to that point of finding everyone beautiful for their own sake.
Of course this is just my experience, I'm sure others have different reasons why they bring people down.
amazing! thank you0 -
So tell me if this snippet from your first post matches what you say here:...I have never and will never comment negatively on someones success or call someone ugly, deformed or gross...
Explain to me how that's not negative, and why you would feel the need to offer it in the first place. As I said before, I wouldn't poke my nose into somebody's success thread and say "I find the skinnyfat look off-putting and I feel bad for you - oh, congratulations, by the way!". If that can be construed as "not negative", maybe I should post my motivational encouragements in more success threads.I actuallt kinda think the rippling muscle look rather off putting. If someone has that as their ideal body image, well good for you, but just as I feel sorry for the too thin and the too obese and not fighting to get healthier, I feel bad for the over bulked...
Or on the other hand, maybe I should just continue my practice of not saying anything at all in such situations. Yeah. I think maybe that's a much better idea.0 -
I'm calling this phenomenon PlanetFitnessitis...because just like their "judgment free zone" that has one very specific exception, MFP seems to be a "body shaming free zone" except for this one very specific exception.
It really is fascinating.
This.
I've seen some of the same people who feel it's their duty to tell a muscular man/woman that they don't look good get up on the message board and post a topic like "I was called fat walking home today."
For some reason there are people who think that once you lose the weight you you no longer become sensitive to comments about your body.
I've personally seen Matt_Wild post incredibly motivating and informational stories about carb cycling routines, supplements, training routines, and these posts include pictures. These routines and information are ignored simply to be met with comments like "I don't like her muscles!" about the pictures.
Anyways, my hat's off to you and Yo, Matt.
THe amount of time and discipline it takes to get where you're at now is incredible and there are very few who can understand this.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I used to be more vocal about not liking females with large muscles. And I've thought about it a lot, why I feel a need to vocalize and degrade others. Part of it was a lack of self esteem.
Another, bigger, part was a mentality I was faced with whenever I mentioned to somebody that I wanted to lose weight or get in shape. A LOT of people I talked with implied that if I didn't have muscle definition I'd be gross. So I'd retaliate saying that I think lots of muscle definition on women is gross, and I started to believe that and said it more and more often.
But obviously it isn't gross. I don't think it is unhealthy or unattractive for women or men to have lots of muscle. There are many different people with different fitness goals, and just because one person wants to be cut doesn't mean everyone needs to, and just because I don't want muscle definition doesn't mean nobody should. Of course, it took a long time and quite a bit of reflection to get to that point of finding everyone beautiful for their own sake.
Of course this is just my experience, I'm sure others have different reasons why they bring people down.
:flowerforyou:
I will add one also. :flowerforyou:
And it is also NEVER be appropriate to put anyone down for not wanting muscle definition and you had every right to get upset about it also - it works both ways.
and one from me :flowerforyou:
but I will add (for the whole thread as this "don't want to be ripped" thing has come up repeatedly), that I have many many times stated that my goal in terms of body fat percentage is 18-20%, i.e. not ripped, most women at this body fat percentage have the "softer" look that nearly all "I don't want to look ripped" women want, and not once, not one single time, has anyone told me that there is anything wrong with this goal, or that I MUST aim for 15% and look ripped, *never*
the advice aimed at all women to lift weights, is mostly about health as it helps to preserve lean body mass while dieting. Having a decent amount of lean body mass (how much you should have depends on your height and frame size) reduces your risk of osteoporosis and also makes you feel lighter, stronger and more full of life. In terms of looks, looking ripped is not about having muscles, but about having a low enough body fat percentage. As I alluded to above, if you want the "softer" and more "curvy" look, then don't go below 18-20% body fat, you may like how you look around 21-22% - but having muscles underneath that will give you a sleek, elegant shape. Going down to 15% with the same muscles, will make you look "ripped" - so please do not ever take the advice to lift weights as suggesting that it's only acceptable to look ripped. It's not intended that way (and if someone has actually suggested that you have to look ripped/go down to 15% body fat to be acceptable, then they are very wrong!) - it's intended to be about maintaining health and lean body mass, and getting the look that you want. You want soft and curvy, then aim for the low 20s in body fat. You want ripped? Aim for more like 15%. You want to look firm but not totally ripped, aim for 17% or so.
Someone on another thread posted a picture of the same fitness model at her competition body fat percentage, and another of her off season at around 20%. She was the same woman with the same muscles, but in the first pic she looked ripped, in the second she looked soft and curvy. Pics like this really illustrate the difference body fat percentage makes, and also how much heavy lifting can help you get a lovely shape at around 20% body fat, but without any definition.0 -
I used to be more vocal about not liking females with large muscles. And I've thought about it a lot, why I feel a need to vocalize and degrade others. Part of it was a lack of self esteem.
Another, bigger, part was a mentality I was faced with whenever I mentioned to somebody that I wanted to lose weight or get in shape. A LOT of people I talked with implied that if I didn't have muscle definition I'd be gross. So I'd retaliate saying that I think lots of muscle definition on women is gross, and I started to believe that and said it more and more often.
But obviously it isn't gross. I don't think it is unhealthy or unattractive for women or men to have lots of muscle. There are many different people with different fitness goals, and just because one person wants to be cut doesn't mean everyone needs to, and just because I don't want muscle definition doesn't mean nobody should. Of course, it took a long time and quite a bit of reflection to get to that point of finding everyone beautiful for their own sake.
Of course this is just my experience, I'm sure others have different reasons why they bring people down.
I love this post. I think you've really captured a lot of the reasons behind body shaming. It's a horrific cycle that happens, usually because someone said something out of ignorance, or off-the cuff, that they didn't really mean to be hurtful, but was.
When I was younger, I was naturally very thin. I got accused of being anorexic a lot, and bodyshamed for being so thin. Then as I grew into my 20s, I gained a lot of weight. A lot of it was positive weight. Muscle develppment and the natural mass-gain that comes when a woman's body does what it's supposed to. Now, I don't think that I'm thin. But neither am I fat. I'm a touch overweight right now, and am trying to get into better shape. But overall Ihave a body type that I feel could be considered "curvy," "athletic," or "thick." I love my body.
Except when people post pictures of girls who they think are beautiful, and they're -all- very thin. Or when people post pictures of very curvy "real" women and state that "REAL women have curves." Except that none of them have smaller breasts, like mine. Or when I'm trying to buy jeans, and -none- of them fit me right, because I guess short women aren't supposed to have hips and thighs like mine.
In this world, it's extremely easy to hate your body, and when that happens it is natural to get defensive of your particular body type. Eventually, it happens like this. For a while, in my defensiveness, I bodyshamed slim women. I blamed them for the fact that I could never find jeans that fit. I blamed them for feeling self-conscious going to the beach with my boyfriend (Who does prefer slimmer body types that I will simply never be again) and I blamed them for my body issues. But that was wrong. It isn't their fault, any more than it was my fault when I was so slim that people called me anorexic.
So now, I try to see beauty in everyone. I've known some absolutely beautiful slim people, and some totally sexy fat people, and a bunch of knockouts in between. Guys and girls.
Bodylove is healthy, because when you love something, you'll want to treat it right. I work out and eat healthy because I love my body, no matter what it looks like.0 -
Thank you for the comments - it restores ones faith in humanity when you read them
)) 0 -
I think some of it comes from the fact that people see from a person's avatar that they are very fit and in excellent shape.... and assume that they were born that way, and that they've never had to work or struggle, and therefore can't possibly offer any relevant advice to someone who's struggling. There's a very similar thing going on when women laugh at advice given by men (seen this a few times here in the last few days) because "how can a man understand the struggles of a woman?" kind of attitude.
This is a shame, because it means they are ignoring the advice of people who HAVE been there, who have successfully overcome what they are struggling with, and are giving advice which is highly likely to work, from nothing more than a desire to help.
On a similar vein, when I ran a dating advice site, over years, many of the regular members who were single when they first joined, fell in love and got married. Some with each other. But since we'd become friends and liked giving advice, and had had some success with the whole dating thing along the way, we stuck around.
The amount of people who got snarky over "OMG... MARRIED people giving DATING advice" was unbelievable. Granted, it was usually people with idiotic notions who didn't like our advice of not being manipulative douches or drama queens, but it was kind of the same flavor you get there.
What are FIT people doing on a WEIGHT LOSS site?! It's not a weight loss site, it's a fitness site. And if you think it's "over" and you no longer need to track exercise or calories when you hit your goal weight, well, I look forward to seeing you back here in a few months when you need to lose weight again. :laugh:
But it's a peculiar thing. An attitude of "What do YOU know about it... you've, uh, already accomplished what it is I want to do, and then some." :indifferent:0 -
It all comes down to the "jealousy" aspect of it IMO. People who want to bash those that have put the time and effort in achieving that healthy lifestyle, and looking good in the process, need to look at themselves first. It's not the fit and healthy person's fault that you're not at "their level" or NEAR it. Stop complaining and taking your frustrations out on them.......................they've done nothing wrong but to improve themselves via eating right and exercising. If you don't like reading their threads or looking at their progress pics, then go to another forum..................plain and simple.0
-
ok, I'm not the insult anyone type. I'm the live and let live type, but sorry body builders have never impressed me. I actuallt kinda think the rippling muscle look rather off putting. If someone has that as their ideal body image, well good for you, but just as I feel sorry for the too thin and the too obese and not fighting to get healthier, I feel bad for the over bulked. We are all who we are, and I will never dismiss or ridicule someone due to their body, but never expect me to really like it.
The pic of the lady, scary? No. Attractive? To some, I'm sure, but I never want to look like that. I dont want guns. I want lean and curves not to look like a supposed ideal form of mankind.my ideal form of mankind actually has no body at all just mind and soul, but until we achieve that I shall shoot for lean and curvy.
My two bits
cya
cp
You sure you aren't the insult anyone type? Because that whole post is pretty insulting.......0 -
0 -
If you are going to insult someone who is in shape, here are some suggestions so that you do it right:
1. Ask the in shape person what steroids they are using. (This implies that they are a cheater, criminal, lazy, etc.)
2. Tell them they have good genes. (Again, the gain was not due to discipline, dedication, etc.)
3. State that they must have a lot of free time on their hands.
4. Tell them they are lucky.
Did I miss any good ones?
Note: There is a little sarcasm in this post for those that can't see it.0 -
I think some of it comes from the fact that people see from a person's avatar that they are very fit and in excellent shape.... and assume that they were born that way, and that they've never had to work or struggle, and therefore can't possibly offer any relevant advice to someone who's struggling. There's a very similar thing going on when women laugh at advice given by men (seen this a few times here in the last few days) because "how can a man understand the struggles of a woman?" kind of attitude.
This is a shame, because it means they are ignoring the advice of people who HAVE been there, who have successfully overcome what they are struggling with, and are giving advice which is highly likely to work, from nothing more than a desire to help.
Agree. It blows my mind how many people will just write off the advice of people who are fit. It does seem to be worse if they are men. When I first got here it didn't take me that long to figure out that a large number of the people who read and post studies and debate their merits are in very good shape. And many of the ones who don't post studies can still speak from experience and give great advice. Those are the kinds of people I want to listen to and add as friends. Seeing the food diaries of those members helps too, because I can see that they are getting great results, and that it's ok to have some ice cream (or whatever treat food) and still lose weight/get in shape. Why anyone would want to discount these members and the results they're clearly getting is beyond me.
I think it's sometimes a defense mechanism to say "they were just born that way." Maybe not always, but a lot of times saying that makes it easier to justify not being in better shape. I used to think that way when I was younger.
Matt I think your gf looks great. I realize it's hard not to get ruffled by those comments (I got a little too ruffled in a body-shaming thread the other day so I can relate) but try not to let it upset you too much. :flowerforyou:0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 999 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions