The downside of being cute...

Crawkins
Crawkins Posts: 32
in Chit-Chat
So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.
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Replies

  • fungaaron9880
    fungaaron9880 Posts: 111
    Hmm I assume you were the same way "not the lack of sex" but the cute and adorable to him when you first met him?

    Maybe its just me but I think its a silly excuse.

    but then again Im a chinchilla, what do i know about you crazy humans
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    Well that's different.
    I kind of doubt it has anything to do with the way you look, it's probably just that he has a low libido.


    Oh and no such thing as "too cute for sex".
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    I have the same issue. My husband told me that I'm so cute that I could never be beautiful. It sucks really bad. The smaller I get, the "cuter" I get. SMH!

    I wish I had some advice for you.
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
    you look like a young adult to me, maybe he's attracted to older women or he's full of s***
  • biscuitwelsh
    biscuitwelsh Posts: 86 Member
    So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...


    I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

    Well, on the good side, you don't have to worry about him showing up as a "guest" on "To Catch a Predator."
    I guess I'd ask him what's sexy to him, listen and then decide if that's something you want to do.
  • Crawkins
    Crawkins Posts: 32
    I really, really don't think he's cheating. I suggested we have sex with other people because I'm obviously not "sexy" and he's getting chubby anyways. He was very opposed to it, but, you never know.

    He has a thing for MILFs. Never lied about that, but, bonus, I have a kid! So I guess that makes me a MIDLTF.....?
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

    As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

    I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

    I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

    Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

    Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.

    Find your exit doors ... You're very mature looking for a 22 year old, so it is something else entirely and NOT what you're assuming, despite what he is saying/insinuating.
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
    you look like a young adult to me, maybe he's attracted to older women or he's full of s***
    i would like to see a man's response to this post
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Sometimes when the newness of a relationship wears off, the rush of things slows down, and people deprioritize sex. Talk to him about it, tell him it's important, and ask him if there's anything that he's interested in that you guys could do together. Or put him on the spot and call him out for the laziest, lamest, most cowardly break-up attempt ever.
  • fungaaron9880
    fungaaron9880 Posts: 111
    you look like a young adult to me, maybe he's attracted to older women or he's full of s***
    i would like to see a man's response to this post

    im a male chinchilla, does that count?
  • JacksMachine
    JacksMachine Posts: 106 Member
    If this guy doesnt find you sexy then the relationship is doomed. Sure there are people that you just are not attracted to that way. Happens to both sexes. People can be better friends then lovers. Thats fine, but dont think there is anything wrong with you. Its his perception. I creeped your profile, saw the pictures and you dont look like a child to me. Far from it in fact....Hell I'd definitely take you home. Dont let his opinion or possible underlying issue affect you. Just carry on do your thing and dont let yourself get caught up trying to save this when some other guy could come along and think you're "sex pot, angel and gift from heaven" rolled into one. Everyone deserves better then that, and you're no exception.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    I'll share my guy. He puts out enough for 2.:tongue:
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I'm pretty sure Cosmo has a quiz for this.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    Get out now. If he isn't interested in sex he isn't interested in you. You aren't married to this guy you so go find someone who will be attracted to all of you.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    That's not the downside of being cute. That's the downside of being with someone who's not that into you.

    If you were a different body type when you met, that might be his preference and when you changed, his feelings toward you changed. Shallow? Maybe. But we all have a type. I have a preference in what I like in a woman *but I will go way outside of it when I have more than just a physical attraction to that woman*. If it's only physical it ain't gonna last long anyway.

    There is a possibility that it has nothing to do with your body and it's just a normal part of a seasoned relationship.

    Also: how the hell did I end up in this thread? Get me out of Chit Chat. I don't like it here
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    I'm pretty sure Cosmo has a quiz for this.

    I just took that same quiz.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    *kitten* *kitten*

    Little blue pill
  • CLFrancois
    CLFrancois Posts: 472 Member
    I don't think there is much left in this relationship of yours. It sounds like you would be great friends though.
    If he isn't attracted to you cause you are young looking than he will not be interested in you till you are 60.
    Are you willing to wait that long?

    Really though, trust me, there are PLENTY of guys that would find you insanely gorgeous.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.
  • FoxyLifter
    FoxyLifter Posts: 965 Member
    I found this excuse to be kind of weird so I asked my husband for a frank answer.

    He said that he's either cheating or he just isn't attracted to you anymore.

    I thought that this was harsh and there maybe a medical reason, but the explanations he gave are likely. :frown:
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
    That sounds like a tough one. I look young, too, so I kinda have the same problem. Maybe try to dress sexier for him, and add a little extra makeup? Thats all I got!
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
    It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

    My husband started backing off sexually... turned out he was cheating.
  • kimmiedunne
    kimmiedunne Posts: 82 Member
    My fiancee says I'm cute AND sexy and he ALWAYS wants sex...I'm the one who turns him down sometimes! LOL - I'd say if he doesn't think you're sexy anymore than I'd get rid of him!
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    I look young, I don't have this issue. I think there is some deeper problems here.. I would get ready to move on hunny bun.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
    This. If he's not shagging you at every opportunity he's either gay or cheating.
  • rebelate
    rebelate Posts: 218 Member
    I feel like when I was bigger I was "cute" and the more I lose the ~sexier I get.

    I would ask him honestly, what makes you cute, what you can do to become sexy, and ask him if he is sexually attracted to you, what has changed his level of attraction to you - if there is something more than just losing weight.

    There might be numerous reasons that don't involve you, but he's just using you being "cute" as a scape goat.
  • TC1728
    TC1728 Posts: 264 Member
    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.

    What the hell is wrong with him!?!?!?!?!?!?!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.
    Ummm. He's either dead or into guys.

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