The downside of being cute...
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I really, really don't think he's cheating. I suggested we have sex with other people because I'm obviously not "sexy" and he's getting chubby anyways. He was very opposed to it, but, you never know.
He has a thing for MILFs. Never lied about that, but, bonus, I have a kid! So I guess that makes me a MIDLTF.....?
If you have to suggest having sex with other people, then this obviously isn't a very good relationship!0 -
Ok from a guys point of view only. He is either A) no longer "into" the relationship and his eye has wandered
as mentioned previous, his sex drive is low C) is just looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship or D) is actually gay. Because again from a guys point of view his reason is pretty lame. You are cute, and guys love cute. Cute is a great thing, so don't for a second think it's a problem. It's probably worthy of digging deeper. I won't suggest looking for the next mr right nor am I suggesting you accept his reason and stay. You obviously have a serious relationship issue here. If you feel he is worth it, discover the actual issue. If you dont think he is worthy of your awesomeness, then find a guy that embraces your cuteness. just don't let his statement let you feel like being cute is bad or wrong.
Good luck to you.0 -
I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.
What the hell is wrong with him!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I was thinking that and I don't even swing that way. :laugh:0 -
I can't really offer any advice unfortunately (I've never been called "childlike"), but I definitely can sympathize-- I feel your pain on the not-enough-sex front. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend is wonderful in bed, but his depression means that his sex drive is very low for a 'typical' guy. And unfortunately, mine is unusually high for a girl-- as in, I want it multiple times a day!
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Jesus, I sound like such a brat sometimes, but he is, literally, everything I would want in a man. We are the best couple I could imagine, except for the frequency of sex.
I can't imagine how I would feel if he was considering leaving me based solely on the fact I didn't want to have sex as often as he did. Indignant, that's how I'd feel. I know lots of women complain because their guy wants it too frequently.
But yeah, saying he thinks I'm childish does sound kind of like an excuse.0 -
This. If he's not shagging you at every opportunity he's either gay or cheating.Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
It's nice to know that there's no reason a guy could ever lose his sex drive except for those two factors... :noway:0 -
It sounds like a cop-out to me, but let's pretend it isn't:
So what he's really saying is that he doesn't find you sexually attractive? I mean, what's the real difference between "You're too cute and child-like" versus "You're too old and ugly"? It still comes down to the fact of him telling you that you're not what he likes. I'd start making exit plans.0 -
...You are cute, and guys love cute. Cute is a great thing, so don't for a second think it's a problem...
Good luck to you.
This makes me feel a lot better!! My husband says that he loves how "chute" I am. It makes me feel like I'm not beautiful, but he said that I'm cute and that's the best way to be.0 -
It sounds like an excuse to me, and a bad one. We can't help what we are (I'm 22 also, petite and almost flat chested, am mistaken as an adolescent all the time) and I've never had someone I was with say anything like that to me. Sure, perhaps people have dismissed me as an interest because of if, but they just never started anything-which is fine. He was attracted to you at first, obviously, and so it makes no sense that his opinion would have changed (unless he means he finds you emotionally immature/'cute" as well). Don't let it affect your opinion of yourself; being sexy isn't all about your looks, and sometimes it just doesn't work. Move on and find someone who likes you for you, the fact you wanted to be more open in your relationship and describe him as chubby doesn't make things sound too perfect anyway.0
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I am married to a man who isn't, and has never been, attracted to me. It is hell. Get out now.
Does not compute.0 -
So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...
As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.
I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!
I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!
Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?
Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.
One word - craigslist.0 -
I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.
This. If he's not shagging you at every opportunity he's either gay or cheating.Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
It's nice to know that there's no reason a guy could ever lose his sex drive except for those two factors... :noway:
That isn't a lack of drive, that's a lack of interest. Very different.0 -
Omg Im sorry your being told these lies..please don't believe him when he tells you that your only cute. Something is wrong with him.
Any man that falls in love with you for you will continue too love and grow with you as you mature. He is unsulting you and this is a form of domestic abuse. You obviously have a lot too think about. I wonder what else he thinks he can convince you of. If you let this continue, your self esteem will suffer. Better too get out now. This is a red flag, in its truest form.
Prayers that you walk away..0 -
I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.
I would have to agree with this. Something is clearly wrong. Usually men that age get hard if the wind blows.
The only thing I can think of is to get a slutty outfit and seduce him. Get something like the thigh highs, the sexy heels, etc. Even if it isn't "you", it is surely something he will like. If he thinks you''re "cute" then get SEXY. Buy a few outfits, give him variety. Try some new "sexy tricks". Read online of different ways to give him pleasure. Get kinky within reason. Make him excited. Ever heard, "a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets". If you're acting cutsie, it's time to try a new approach. I have actually gone anonymous on online forums with men to find out some new "tricks" to try.
If this doesn't work and he goes back to his old, "you're too cute" attitude after you give him a few nights of interesting, slutty romps then there is probably something else going on.0 -
At some point in life Mr Whoopee, turns into Mr Droopee. It's not that the guy doesn't love you or that you are not sexy, it's just **** that happens when a guy gets older. He could be ashamed of that fact, and doesn't know what to do. He could be scared to f++ing death because Mr Whoopee no longer takes orders. If you love the dude get it checked out.0
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Jesus, I sound like such a brat sometimes, but he is, literally, everything I would want in a man. We are the best couple I could imagine, except for the frequency of sex.
I can't imagine how I would feel if he was considering leaving me based solely on the fact I didn't want to have sex as often as he did. Indignant, that's how I'd feel. I know lots of women complain because their guy wants it too frequently.
But yeah, saying he thinks I'm childish does sound kind of like an excuse.
A really weak excuse, at that.0 -
Has your sexual incompatibility always been an issue?
I mean has he wanted it the same amount as you and then the frequency dropped off or has this always been the way it is?
I know it sounds personal,but I'm asking for a good reason.Maybe he is stressed out?Have circumstances changed?Has he maybe got depression.
The libido is a funny thing.It is so responsive and reactive to what goes on in our day to day lives.So maybe that's something worth looking at.
Good luck!!0 -
hahaha, now that's just silly. he must have a screw loose (no pun intended) i will simply agree with the majority of the other posts i have read and move on. best of luck0
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At some point in life Mr Whoopee, turns into Mr Droopee. It's not that the guy doesn't love you or that you are not sexy, it's just **** that happens when a guy gets older. He could be ashamed of that fact, and doesn't know what to do. He could be scared to f++ing death because Mr Whoopee no longer takes orders. If you love the dude get it checked out.
Did you notice, he is 27? I am pretty sure men stay horny at every age. Even when Mr whoopee goes droopee men act like caged animals that were just released around rabbits running wild.0 -
I'm not Dr Phil but here's what I think. Everyone deserves to be happy. Both people in a relationship need to be on the same page when it comes to almost everything (finances, sex, etc). When that doesn't happen, there will always be problems. Work it out now or find someone more compatable.0
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An excuse is just a cover up for the real reason.0
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Has your sexual incompatibility always been an issue?
I mean has he wanted it the same amount as you and then the frequency dropped off or has this always been the way it is?
I know it sounds personal,but I'm asking for a good reason.Maybe he is stressed out?Have circumstances changed?Has he maybe got depression.
The libido is a funny thing.It is so responsive and reactive to what goes on in our day to day lives.So maybe that's something worth looking at.
Good luck!!
I've always wanted sex more often than him. He still tells me I'm beautiful every day. But when it comes to sexy time, he's just not having it 7/10 times.0 -
My boyfriend read this thread and his words and I quote...."Get down with a video camera and he will no longer look at you as JUST cute!"
Wow. I'm blushing. lol.0 -
The lack of sex isn't necessarily the problem... that can be fixed.
The point that he finds you unsexy, or too cute but not sexy, is the problem.
Personally I would have NO want to be with someone who didn't find me sexy. And based on some of your comments in the answers after, you are willing to have sex with other people, and your man is getting 'chubby anyway'.
So, I'm wondering why you even care about all this.
Leave, hook up with someone else with an equally demanding sexual appetite and call it a day!0 -
I would hazard he is giving you a excuse. Unless this is the only major problem you have with him. Cute, beautiful, whatever he wants to label you. If you care about someone, you are there for their needs. Its doesn't take that much effort to make them happy from their brain to their body, just some time. I know nobody is perfect, but I can't see leaving anybody wanting/needing when there are so many ways to show that special love to your better half.0
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At some point in life Mr Whoopee, turns into Mr Droopee. It's not that the guy doesn't love you or that you are not sexy, it's just **** that happens when a guy gets older. He could be ashamed of that fact, and doesn't know what to do. He could be scared to f++ing death because Mr Whoopee no longer takes orders. If you love the dude get it checked out.
Did you notice, he is 27? I am pretty sure men stay horny at every age. Even when Mr whoopee goes droopee men act like caged animals that were just released around rabbits running wild.
The human body doesn't last forever. Why do you think men take viagara ? Yes men stay horny...the mind is willing...but..the body is not forever, and even at 27 he might be having issues such as vascular disease, that makes Mr Whoopee at bit slow.0 -
I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.
This is was my first thought...He's saying in a round about way that he's not sexually attracted to you, and it has nothing to do with you being 'cute.' I don't know what it is, but I can believe it's not the 'cute' factor0 -
you look like a young adult to me, maybe he's attracted to older women or he's full of s***
^^^^This....0 -
So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...
As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.
I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!
I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!
Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?
Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.
He might be Gay...you are an attractive woman who works out. A puppy is 'cute'..a girlfriend has to be sexy.
yep....GAY.0 -
Ditch him. Love yourself the way you are and be with those who love who you are as well. you look really cute btw0
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