The downside of being cute...

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  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

    As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

    I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

    I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

    Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

    Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.

    One word - craigslist.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Last time I dated a guy and the sex got "less and less" he was cheating.
    This. If he's not shagging you at every opportunity he's either gay or cheating.

    It's nice to know that there's no reason a guy could ever lose his sex drive except for those two factors... :noway:
    I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.
    That isn't a lack of drive, that's a lack of interest. Very different.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    Omg Im sorry your being told these lies..please don't believe him when he tells you that your only cute. Something is wrong with him.
    Any man that falls in love with you for you will continue too love and grow with you as you mature. He is unsulting you and this is a form of domestic abuse. You obviously have a lot too think about. I wonder what else he thinks he can convince you of. If you let this continue, your self esteem will suffer. Better too get out now. This is a red flag, in its truest form.

    Prayers that you walk away..
  • _Lori_Lynn_
    _Lori_Lynn_ Posts: 460
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    I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.

    I would have to agree with this. Something is clearly wrong. Usually men that age get hard if the wind blows.

    The only thing I can think of is to get a slutty outfit and seduce him. Get something like the thigh highs, the sexy heels, etc. Even if it isn't "you", it is surely something he will like. If he thinks you''re "cute" then get SEXY. Buy a few outfits, give him variety. Try some new "sexy tricks". Read online of different ways to give him pleasure. Get kinky within reason. Make him excited. Ever heard, "a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets". If you're acting cutsie, it's time to try a new approach. I have actually gone anonymous on online forums with men to find out some new "tricks" to try.

    If this doesn't work and he goes back to his old, "you're too cute" attitude after you give him a few nights of interesting, slutty romps then there is probably something else going on.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    At some point in life Mr Whoopee, turns into Mr Droopee. It's not that the guy doesn't love you or that you are not sexy, it's just **** that happens when a guy gets older. He could be ashamed of that fact, and doesn't know what to do. He could be scared to f++ing death because Mr Whoopee no longer takes orders. If you love the dude get it checked out.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
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    Jesus, I sound like such a brat sometimes, but he is, literally, everything I would want in a man. We are the best couple I could imagine, except for the frequency of sex.

    I can't imagine how I would feel if he was considering leaving me based solely on the fact I didn't want to have sex as often as he did. Indignant, that's how I'd feel. I know lots of women complain because their guy wants it too frequently.


    But yeah, saying he thinks I'm childish does sound kind of like an excuse.

    A really weak excuse, at that.
  • RoseDarrett
    RoseDarrett Posts: 355 Member
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    Has your sexual incompatibility always been an issue?
    I mean has he wanted it the same amount as you and then the frequency dropped off or has this always been the way it is?

    I know it sounds personal,but I'm asking for a good reason.Maybe he is stressed out?Have circumstances changed?Has he maybe got depression.

    The libido is a funny thing.It is so responsive and reactive to what goes on in our day to day lives.So maybe that's something worth looking at.

    Good luck!!
  • reedkaus
    reedkaus Posts: 250 Member
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    hahaha, now that's just silly. he must have a screw loose (no pun intended) i will simply agree with the majority of the other posts i have read and move on. best of luck
  • _Lori_Lynn_
    _Lori_Lynn_ Posts: 460
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    At some point in life Mr Whoopee, turns into Mr Droopee. It's not that the guy doesn't love you or that you are not sexy, it's just **** that happens when a guy gets older. He could be ashamed of that fact, and doesn't know what to do. He could be scared to f++ing death because Mr Whoopee no longer takes orders. If you love the dude get it checked out.

    Did you notice, he is 27? I am pretty sure men stay horny at every age. Even when Mr whoopee goes droopee men act like caged animals that were just released around rabbits running wild.
  • TC1728
    TC1728 Posts: 264 Member
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    I'm not Dr Phil but here's what I think. Everyone deserves to be happy. Both people in a relationship need to be on the same page when it comes to almost everything (finances, sex, etc). When that doesn't happen, there will always be problems. Work it out now or find someone more compatable.
  • ThisGirl2013
    ThisGirl2013 Posts: 220 Member
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    An excuse is just a cover up for the real reason.
  • Crawkins
    Crawkins Posts: 32
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    Has your sexual incompatibility always been an issue?
    I mean has he wanted it the same amount as you and then the frequency dropped off or has this always been the way it is?

    I know it sounds personal,but I'm asking for a good reason.Maybe he is stressed out?Have circumstances changed?Has he maybe got depression.

    The libido is a funny thing.It is so responsive and reactive to what goes on in our day to day lives.So maybe that's something worth looking at.

    Good luck!!


    I've always wanted sex more often than him. He still tells me I'm beautiful every day. But when it comes to sexy time, he's just not having it 7/10 times.
  • CurvaciousBeautyToBe
    CurvaciousBeautyToBe Posts: 100 Member
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    My boyfriend read this thread and his words and I quote...."Get down with a video camera and he will no longer look at you as JUST cute!"


    Wow. I'm blushing. lol.
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    The lack of sex isn't necessarily the problem... that can be fixed.

    The point that he finds you unsexy, or too cute but not sexy, is the problem.

    Personally I would have NO want to be with someone who didn't find me sexy. And based on some of your comments in the answers after, you are willing to have sex with other people, and your man is getting 'chubby anyway'.
    So, I'm wondering why you even care about all this.

    Leave, hook up with someone else with an equally demanding sexual appetite and call it a day!
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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    I would hazard he is giving you a excuse. Unless this is the only major problem you have with him. Cute, beautiful, whatever he wants to label you. If you care about someone, you are there for their needs. Its doesn't take that much effort to make them happy from their brain to their body, just some time. I know nobody is perfect, but I can't see leaving anybody wanting/needing when there are so many ways to show that special love to your better half.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    At some point in life Mr Whoopee, turns into Mr Droopee. It's not that the guy doesn't love you or that you are not sexy, it's just **** that happens when a guy gets older. He could be ashamed of that fact, and doesn't know what to do. He could be scared to f++ing death because Mr Whoopee no longer takes orders. If you love the dude get it checked out.

    Did you notice, he is 27? I am pretty sure men stay horny at every age. Even when Mr whoopee goes droopee men act like caged animals that were just released around rabbits running wild.

    The human body doesn't last forever. Why do you think men take viagara ? Yes men stay horny...the mind is willing...but..the body is not forever, and even at 27 he might be having issues such as vascular disease, that makes Mr Whoopee at bit slow.
  • Rebirth08
    Rebirth08 Posts: 174 Member
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    I think it might just be a cop out. Get rid of him, work on you. You'll find someone better.

    This is was my first thought...He's saying in a round about way that he's not sexually attracted to you, and it has nothing to do with you being 'cute.' I don't know what it is, but I can believe it's not the 'cute' factor
  • SexyLovinmeCook
    SexyLovinmeCook Posts: 1,393 Member
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    you look like a young adult to me, maybe he's attracted to older women or he's full of s***

    ^^^^This....
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

    As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

    I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

    I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

    Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

    Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.

    He might be Gay...you are an attractive woman who works out. A puppy is 'cute'..a girlfriend has to be sexy.

    yep....GAY.
  • 7opoundsin16weeks
    7opoundsin16weeks Posts: 211 Member
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    Ditch him. Love yourself the way you are and be with those who love who you are as well. you look really cute btw

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