The downside of being cute...

It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

My husband started backing off sexually... turned out he was cheating.

Yup. Sounds very familiar.

Men like, "strange". They love their wives and gfs. They have no interest in leaving them, but they want other women just for something different.

Genetically they were designed to spread their seed as much as possible. Things have changed since the making of man, but that didn't change.

He has gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together,

^This. He might actually be feeling insecure about his body...especially as you are getting smaller. He also might be depressed which could explain the weight gain and the lack of libido.

I agree with this also. If he has gained weight and you are getting smaller this can be a clue. Also, he is 27 and you are 22, that is already a bit of an inferior thing, because when you're older you usually view younger as a prize or a plus, sometimes an intimidation thing.

OMG - google male physiology or talk to a doctor folks. There is a limited time period in a man's life where he has complete control over Mr. Whoopee.

When a guy "matures" physically and up to about age 13-16 on average Mr. Whoopee comes on when ever he wants. Thoughts of sex ? Heck no Mr. Whoopee is his own boss. Hell no, I`m not standing up in class to answer that question

From about 16-25 guys can usually tell Mr Whoopee to wake up on command.

After that Mr. Whoopee starts to become somewhat independant and doesn't always take orders even if the brain is ready to melt. As years go by, Mr Whoopee likes to take longer naps. That's when the Dr. or science will intervene to kick Mr. Whoopee and say, get the F up !!!

So even though you may think your dude is cheating or gay or whatever, it could be MR. Whoopee is gettin old like the rest of the body. So gals or guys, Mr Whoopee is not a machine that is always willing to do what the master commands. And the sooner you accept that, the better your relationship with your dude and MR Whoopee can be.

Again, if he had issues with it, she would know. Men still get hard in their 80s. Trust me, I know.

I love you Lori - I was starting to worry :flowerforyou:

So, MFPers, I have an off-the-wall question for you...

As of late, my (27 y/o) SO has been wanting sex less and less. I finally confronted him about it, and he admitted that he thinks I am more adorable in a child-like way than sexy, and he finds it very difficult to be sexually attracted to me because of that.

I kind of get it. I have big eyes, I'm short, we act silly together, and I've gone down 2 pant sizes in the past 45 days to boot. But I've been very thin before and no one else has ever had a problem with it!

I've always had a... voracious sexual appetite, and he's always been more mellow about it, but darn it, one can only go so long!

Do I need to make an extreme effort to "act sexy", or does he need to accept that I'm young looking? Both?

Thank you for ANY input on this matter, I know it's kind of weird.

oh well she got laid, see below. problem solved. the end.

OMG - google male physiology or talk to a doctor folks. There is a limited time period in a man's life where he has complete control over Mr. Whoopee.

When a guy "matures" physically and up to about age 13-16 on average Mr. Whoopee comes on when ever he wants. Thoughts of sex ? Heck no Mr. Whoopee is his own boss. Hell no, I`m not standing up in class to answer that question

From about 16-25 guys can usually tell Mr Whoopee to wake up on command.

After that Mr. Whoopee starts to become somewhat independant and doesn't always take orders even if the brain is ready to melt. As years go by, Mr Whoopee likes to take longer naps. That's when the Dr. or science will intervene to kick Mr. Whoopee and say, get the F up !!!

So even though you may think your dude is cheating or gay or whatever, it could be MR. Whoopee is gettin old like the rest of the body. So gals or guys, Mr Whoopee is not a machine that is always willing to do what the master commands. And the sooner you accept that, the better your relationship with your dude and MR Whoopee can be.

Again, if he had issues with it, she would know. Men still get hard in their 80s. Trust me, I know.

I love you Lori - I was starting to worry :flowerforyou:

You're still young. You're only 61. You have several years left. And you guys almost seem to become like teenagers again in the horndog department after age 60. And can we all get a "HELL YEAH" on the making of Viagra.

It kind of sounds like he isn't sexually attracted to you... which means that your relationship is kind of doomed. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since it seems to be a big thing for you.

My husband started backing off sexually... turned out he was cheating.

Yup. Sounds very familiar.

oh your just barkin up the wrong tree

Not anymore--and I see what you did there. It was him who was barkin up the wrong tree or sniffin up the wrong ***! LOL!

Weed kills sex drive,

This is certainly not true for everyone!

From my personal experience with two of my ex. I could always tell when they were cheating, because they didn't want sex with me, they were getting it elsewhere. The lack of sex made me snoop and I would find evidence which they would make a story up for, but I knew what it meant. We'd fight, time would go on and eventually they were, "into" me again and I knew his fling or thoughts of "her" were gone.

And then it would happen again, just like I explained above. I hate to say it, but based on experience, I would say he is cheating on you. I don't like him. Get rid of him. Don't waste your time on a guy like this, because there are plenty of men out there who will not only find you cute BUT sexy too. There are plenty of men who will give you what you deserve, need, want and desire.

Just tell him, "if you won't, someone else will" and trust me they will. You don't need to settle for less than you deserve.

Or if you've read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". Men periodically pull away from a woman he loves, just because "it is what they do". If you chase him, he will continue to pull away, like a rubber band until he snaps and he is gone.

If you let him pull away, you will find when he has had his "time" or "space" or whatever it is men do, he will come back around and be more loving than before and appreciate you more, the relationship will naturally grow. He needs to pull away a few times to grow closer and then one day he proposes. Or he leaves. He needs his "pulling away" time to discover what he wants.

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

That's sort of hot. I love when a guy likes porn. Call me weird, but I think it's a turn on.

Even if it gets so out of hand he loses sexual interest in you?

I didn't know that was possible. I have never been with a guy who was so into porn he got disinterested in me. But I do think that is sexy. I am going to end the conversation here on the porn because I don't feel it is appropriate. I apologize, I shouldn't have said anything, it slipped.

Check the computer history. Repeatedly. Check often to see how often the history is deleted, or Iphone or whatever. Could be pornography related.

That's sort of hot. I love when a guy likes porn. Call me weird, but I think it's a turn on.

Even if it gets so out of hand he loses sexual interest in you?

I didn't know that was possible. I have never been with a guy who was so into porn he got disinterested in me. But I do think that is sexy. I am going to end the conversation here on the porn because I don't feel it is appropriate. I apologize, I shouldn't have said anything, it slipped.

Fair enough.

I'm sure it's the fact that he's gained weight and probably feels insecure.

OMG - google male physiology or talk to a doctor folks. There is a limited time period in a man's life where he has complete control over Mr. Whoopee.

When a guy "matures" physically and up to about age 13-16 on average Mr. Whoopee comes on when ever he wants. Thoughts of sex ? Heck no Mr. Whoopee is his own boss. Hell no, I`m not standing up in class to answer that question

From about 16-25 guys can usually tell Mr Whoopee to wake up on command.

After that Mr. Whoopee starts to become somewhat independant and doesn't always take orders even if the brain is ready to melt. As years go by, Mr Whoopee likes to take longer naps. That's when the Dr. or science will intervene to kick Mr. Whoopee and say, get the F up !!!

So even though you may think your dude is cheating or gay or whatever, it could be MR. Whoopee is gettin old like the rest of the body. So gals or guys, Mr Whoopee is not a machine that is always willing to do what the master commands. And the sooner you accept that, the better your relationship with your dude and MR Whoopee can be.

Again, if he had issues with it, she would know. Men still get hard in their 80s. Trust me, I know.

I love you Lori - I was starting to worry :flowerforyou:

You're still young. You're only 61. You have several years left. And you guys almost seem to become like teenagers again in the horndog department after age 60. And can we all get a "HELL YEAH" on the making of Viagra.

Thanks, I think you are providing some good advice here. The old saying on wandering...if you love it set it free, if it returns the love was true...oh well the thing about 60+ is true so HELL YEAH !!!!

:huh:

Glad to say everyone, a certain little lady got ravaged when he got home from work without a mention of anything!
We're working on stuff.
And porn addiction? HAH. We both watch it, every day, and we do it together sometimes.
He realizes he's on the road to losing a good thing so we are both going to put forth effort to do better. You don't have to be married to want to work things out.

Thanks all for the advice! Much appreciated

WINNING!

Sorry I had to say that lol

Be sure to spice it up.. no one likes the same 20 positions every time.. im 32 sex drive like no other. But when i suggest new things or dif positions and she says no.. there is only a three strike in all of life until the next player comes to bat