Your most humiliating "fat" experience.

1223345
1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
in Motivation and Support
We all surely have some experience related to out weight that lingers in our minds. I wouldn't say I was even fat when this happened. I am 5'3", at the time I weighed 145 pounds. I was in the process of losing weight I gained from quitting smoking. Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify. Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit. Needless to say, I haven't put on a swim suit since. I actually bought one last year, but I could never bring myself to wear the thing.

When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?
«134567…17

Replies

  • Boobarella2
    Boobarella2 Posts: 71
    All I can think is, you married this man why?
  • Kxgz
    Kxgz Posts: 198 Member
    I think they can be motivating. I am 5 8 and 170 pounds and I was at the park a couple weeks ago and a kid asked if I'm having a baby. First of all, that hurts my feelings lol. Then, I think, but do I really look pregnant? Whatever. Went home, ordered an elliptical and now I am on the right track to hopefully not looking pregnant lol : )
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    All I can think is, you married this man why?

    I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.
  • Boobarella2
    Boobarella2 Posts: 71
    All I can think is, you married this man why?

    I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.

    I know that being the weight I am Im not an attractive woman at all, but if my hubby EVER said anything so mean and disrespectful I would not put up with it. Your partner should stand by you and if he noticed you had gained weight should have come to you in private and just said so in a normal, nice way out of concern rather than supificial reasons.
  • MrsDrk
    MrsDrk Posts: 153 Member
    All I can think is, you married this man why?

    ^^ this
  • 12icandothis
    12icandothis Posts: 1
    Yeah, same thing happened to me; a student at the school where I work, and even a teacher! asked if I was pregnant! Most of my weight is around my belly - classic muffin top - shirts riding up, belly hanging over my belt - I hate it! Looking forward to it changing! I started Zumba back up recently after a car accident - that will help alot! Good luck! :smile:
  • queenbee47340
    queenbee47340 Posts: 20
    sure looks matter in a relationship...but I know, hands down... that my husband can probably get a new girl in a minute, but she will not be me. He will be miserable and then he would think, he chose a petty thing to give me up over. So I think to myself when I am feeling blue over my weight, noone is perfect, and you can choose to choose someone upon their looks and have great arm candy...or you can choose on personality and substance and be happy.
  • OhioViking79
    OhioViking79 Posts: 76 Member
    I was at WalMart once and spotted this really short lady trying very hard to reach the milk stuck all the way at the back of the cooler cabinet. So i offered to get it for her. She said "oh that would be nice of you dear, but you should not be bending over like that when you are pregnant." Needless to say, i am not, and my daughter is 7...... Time to loose the weight alright.

    I guess what made it humiliating was that this is not the first time a complete stranger that i have offered to help or struck up a random conversation with at the store, has commented on my being pregnant. I never say anything, just usually smile and answere the question - no point in making them feel akward too! :ohwell:
  • AngelavdH
    AngelavdH Posts: 37
    What a nasty comment from your boyfriend/husband. Mine wouldn't dare to say something like that.

    For the humiliating fat experience: In my previous company the rumor went around that I was pregnant...... I didnt know about this, but when I started losing weight and when I was longer in the company someone accidentally told me so while we had a group conversation. The whole group had to laugh so apparently was involved. I also know some people of other departments had the same thoughts, so I think the whole building spoke about it (about 90 people).

    I think I get asked at least once a year (since i'm 12) if I'm pregnant based on how my stomach looks. I hate it!!
  • nomorebamboozles
    nomorebamboozles Posts: 73 Member
    When I was younger and a freshman in high school, in gym class I HAD to take off my shirt after sweating so much... which was mildly horrifying for me at that age and time. Unfortunately one of the girls in the changing room had never seen stretch marks before and remarked, "Why do you have scratches all over your stomach?!" I had to explain that people get stretch marks from gaining weight... not just getting pregnant. If this happened now, being 20, I wouldn't feel embarrassed but my 14 year old unbelievably self conscious self was mortified.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    Your husband kind of sounds like a jerk
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    The pregnant remarks seem frequent. That has happened to me a good bit. My last one was about two when someone asked me when I was due. I said , "two years ago!" I find my self feeling embarrassed for the one who made that mistake. LOL!
  • hannakengu
    hannakengu Posts: 79 Member
    I wouldn't say this is the most humiliating one, but definitely one that stuck to my mind. Last year, right before christmas, my boyfriend bought me a really pretty pencil skirt made out satin, so there's zero stretch to be found, and it fit me perfectly. I wore it to a christmas party and then it stayed in my closet for a few months, until we had a party coming up and I whined to my boyfriend about having nothing to wear. He said I should wear that pencil skirt, and having to confess I can no longer get it past my thighs was not a good feeling...

    As to your husband, I wouldn't accept that kind of behaviour either, but then again I get pissed beyond belief if my boyfriend even looks at my ice cream bowl/whatever treat I have disapprovingly or says something to the effect of "are you sure you want to eat that, what about your diet?" even though that's a completely normal, caring thing to say when I think about it rationally.
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
    Well when you reach your goals and look fantastic in a swimming suit you can kick his punk *kitten* to the curb.

    My moment was when I was about 23 I had always been in great shape throughout high school I was very active when I went to college the activity stopped unless you count 12 oz curls with lots of reps. I was at an office party after college that was at a pool still being delusional I thought I'd look great with a shirt off but I did had a gut but still skinny every where looked like one of those Ethiopian children. No one made comments my way but I could see what I became and that's when my lifestyle changed.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I've had someone give me their seat in the subway because she thought I was pregnant.

    At the water park, those rides where you semi sit in a buoy and they push you down the slide... my butt was touching the bottom of the pool and I could hardly push myself.

    Fun times.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    We all surely have some experience related to out weight that lingers in our minds. I wouldn't say I was even fat when this happened. I am 5'3", at the time I weighed 145 pounds. I was in the process of losing weight I gained from quitting smoking. Anyhoo, we were talking about going to the beach. My now husband, then boyfriend, made the remark that I should get a bigger swim suit. I was wondering what was wrong with the one I had. I asked him what he meant and why he said that. He would never really clarify. Finally he just yelled at me that I look disgusting in my swim suit. Needless to say, I haven't put on a swim suit since. I actually bought one last year, but I could never bring myself to wear the thing.

    When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?

    And oh lady! There are much better men out there! Don't stay because you feel compelled to.
  • alychil820
    alychil820 Posts: 219 Member
    I've always had bad asthma, and someone asked me once if I was put on prednisone again. I was so confused, until I realized that my face was that fat!
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
    All I can think is, you married this man why?

    ^This. Your spouse can be tactful and motivate you with kind words, but humiliate you? That's just cruel.
  • jesszds82
    jesszds82 Posts: 16
    It makes me really sad that someone you love made you feel humiliated. You are so wonderful, and I love reading your posts,etc. I don't want to go on a husband-bashing tirade because I don't know the situation, but I just want to put it out there that is just plain mean and nasty. Very disrespectful.

    I have been heavy most of my life, so I have a million humiliating experiences. I think the worst was years ago when I was a junior in high school. I was prom dress shopping at a store called, 'Cache' , and the saleswoman basically asked me to leave the store because they didn't make dresses for people my size (I was an 18 then, and probably a 20-something dress size). She wouldn't even let me touch the gowns. I felt so low. So yeah, don't shop there! They're snobby and mean! hahaha

    Though, lately, I can't say that I've payed attention to anything humiliating. I'm older, and at this point in life if people have something nasty to say about my weight, it really doesn't phase me. I accidentally cut some guy off in traffic last year, and he called me a 'fat *****'. I actually laughed and clapped and then said, "Yeah, I'd be more hurt if that came from a guy who actually had all of his teeth! Way to go, stud!" and that shut him up pretty quick. Hahaha I know, totally childish, but boy did it feel awesome! :)
  • LovelyLaura2321
    LovelyLaura2321 Posts: 56 Member
    I couldn't fit into a roller coaster seat at Six Flags when I was around 15 years old. It was so humiliating because the workers tried and tried to get the seat to lock. When it didn't work, I had to get up and walk away with everyone staring at me. I was so humiliated. I remember walking to the nearest food stand and getting a large soda to drink :-/

    Last summer I went to a theme park and was able to fit into every single ride, and it was so amazing to conquer that!
  • Xhell_on_heelsX
    Xhell_on_heelsX Posts: 299
    All I can think is, you married this man why?

    I often ask myself the same question. Too often in fact.

    First of all...I may be young, but the one thing I was taught about the opposite sex is if you really have to ask yourself that question..it truly wasn't meant to be. I feel as though you posted this topic and this story to get opinions on this reaction from your boyfriend (now husband). girl, I'm sorry but that is down right rude of him...and that for me would have been grounds for a breakup on the spot. He should love you no matter what.

    As for an embarrassing story...I was shopping for clothes one day (this was before I even had my daughter and mind you I was PMS'ing at the time..sooo I was bloated) and the girl at the counter asked me if I was having a boy or a girl...my blood was boiling as I left the store and I could barely sign the receipt without my hand shaking uncontrollably.

    I hope you are on this weight loss journey for YOU not your husband hun....good luck to you :flowerforyou:
  • H3TR0
    H3TR0 Posts: 87
    When you look back on these things do they motivate you? Do you feel a sense of hopelessness that drives you to failure over and over?

    I was at Cedar Point (an amusement park) on a band trip in high school and wanted to ride the Dragster. I didn't have issues with any other rollercoasters in the park, but for this coaster, you didn't just have to get a lap belt to fasten, you had to fasten it and then have 6 inches of the strap left over for safety reasons according to the ride operator. Mind you, this wasn't posted anywhere and I wasn't sure of what kind of seats they were in the first place. I waited in line for an hour and a half, got in the seat, struggled to get the lap belt fastened, then the ride operator came to check everyone and told me that I couldn't ride it because of not having leftover strap. I was so mortified. I let everyone think I chickened out on riding it because it seemed less embarrassing than admitting the truth.

    Being that I weigh more now than I did then, I have to say it does make me feel hopeless sometimes. And when I think about that, I feel so embarrassed and saddened.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    All I can think is, you married this man why?

    ummmm

    this....blimey

    you married him AFTER he said this?? I divorced mine
  • buffcleb
    buffcleb Posts: 150 Member
    growing up my dad always called me fat boy... looking back I was not really that fat... a little overweight but nothing to major... but I got used to being the fat boy... it was just who I was... when I was in my 20's he apologized (un prompted on my part) about it and I am good with that... but I look back at it and think it was what made me what I was...

    when I started looking to lose weight I asked him about the site he was using (he's a pretty big guy as well) and he recommended MFP... Once I got here I never looked back...
  • pmhandlo11
    pmhandlo11 Posts: 101 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that your husband was so disrespectful to you. That's just not right. I've had my "fat moment" a couple of times. More then once I was asked when I was "due". The first time it happened i was horrified!!! The second and third time I thought, dam I better do something about this.....it still took awhile for me to take action!!!! But here I am 27lbs lighter!!! --and I would never assume someone was pregnant!! Needless to say I'm very careful about that!
  • HealthyStartsHere
    HealthyStartsHere Posts: 126 Member
    I couldn't fit into a roller coaster seat at Six Flags when I was around 15 years old. It was so humiliating because the workers tried and tried to get the seat to lock. When it didn't work, I had to get up and walk away with everyone staring at me. I was so humiliated. I remember walking to the nearest food stand and getting a large soda to drink :-/

    Last summer I went to a theme park and was able to fit into every single ride, and it was so amazing to conquer that!

    this is the same reason why I started to really lose weight. Only it was Hershey Park, and I locked myself in the bathroom crying.
  • Tannedtiffers
    Tannedtiffers Posts: 558 Member
    I've had so many.... people are cruel.

    I had one a few months ago...while out running I got yelled at by a passing car. "Keep Running Fat *kitten*" I still feel horrible inside when I think about this situation.
  • Hi_Im_Jess
    Hi_Im_Jess Posts: 347 Member
    I've had a few.. One was my dad's gf asking how I was going to get my stomach out of the way when we took a picture (i think i was like 10 at the time) A few people over the years have asked me if I was pregnant. In high school they weighed us in gym class (in front of everyone) and yelled the weight across the gym to another teacher to calculate our BMI and lecture us about it.. When I stepped on the scale it said "error" so I was known as error that year.. Hmm another time someone threw food in my hair at lunch and asked why I didnt pick it out and eat it since i "eat everything" I could go on & on. People are so cruel and it seems that weight is the last thing that is still acceptable to make fun of.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    I always try to find ways to help this man understand. He is like talking to a wall. He seems like an emotionless hole sometimes. Of course he wasn't always like that. He said that in the beginning when a guy wants sex, he will do anything he needs to do to get it on a regular basis. What?! I figured as much. In hind sight I wonder why I was ever so blind. But it is what it is now. This is what happens when we believe in our heart that someone is really good underneath and that they deserve a chance.
    I guess to answer my own question, I do find that memories such as this do hold me back at times. I don't dwell on the bad stuff, but sometimes I am reminded when I see a certain picture or read or hear a certain comment. Letting go of hurt feelings is something I need to work on in my own life. Not just for my health, but for my happiness.
  • jsimler1
    jsimler1 Posts: 168 Member
    At the water park, those rides where you semi sit in a buoy and they push you down the slide... my butt was touching the bottom of the pool and I could hardly push myself.

    Fun times.

    ^^THIS...

    god that was embarassing as hell..

Categories