My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)
Replies
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Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.
Agree.
I really don't like that I'm becoming judgemental as well though.
Someone who works for me is very overweight and seems to enjoy it.She celebrates what she calls "fat kid Friday" where she eats whatever she wants.Which really doesn't differ from the rest of the week.
She says she's in good health so she doesn't need to lose any weight and she can eat what she wants.
Both her parents have had heart attacks in the past year and I'm just really resisting the urge to say "You know,you turned 40 this year and should start to be more careful"
But I can't because that would be an HR nightmare.0 -
And what is it with the 19-20 something mothers who want to give so much advice about life on this site? SMH
Well, I do get that if you've screwed up, you want to keep other people from making the same mistakes. And if you are taking care of a newborn when others are still faking IDs to get into clubs, you feel like you know more than they do. I think the problem comes when you [meaning "universal You," not "you to whom I am replying" go barging up to other people explaining why you know better than they do how the world operates. Because nobody listens to that.
In fact, OP doesn't listen to that. Probably the adults in her life told her about a year ago not to cut class to hang out with that cute guy, and see how well that advice worked out.0 -
For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?0
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OP spends far too much energy caring about other people's lives judging by her recent posts.
^ This.0 -
Why does one need motivation and support from others if they can achieve this alone? I would think recognizing that you need motivation and support from some other source than your self is the beginning step. Some people just achieve it more eloquently and timely than others. Most people offering excuses are looking for confirmation of their beliefs. I say offer them a caring response while not validating their excuses and then move on, ultimately it is their choice to remain there or move forward. It is your choice if you remain a witness.0
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And what is it with the 19-20 something mothers who want to give so much advice about life on this site? SMH
Right, they haven't even had time to work full time, get married, have a kid, or two, or three, or four, money issues, layoffs, home repairs, car repairs, death of loved ones, ill health...
Come see me when you're 51 and we'll hear what tune you're singing then.
Disclaimer: I am 51 and a non-complainer, but old enough to recognize you can't bully someone into better health. You can encourage and motivate, and sympathize or empathize, but not browbeat and bully, unless of course they're paying you for that.
But... But she is very mature for her age ^^0 -
For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?
Sweetheart... You're 18. Do you really want to do this? I don't want to bash anyone, I was just like you and the OP when I was your age. I thought I was so mature... No.0 -
Very true! I thought I was depressed until I realized that lack of movement reduces the endorphins and dopomine that we naturally produce to keep us healthy. Anyone that is depressed, get them moving. Get them off the drugs. DO NOT ENABLE THEM!0
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Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?
And in case you missed it,
Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.
Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.
You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.
here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!
I like you.
Thanks. I've liked you for awhile too!
:flowerforyou:0 -
I used to make similar excuses to what you posted. Mine was: There's no point in trying to be healthy because I used to work out at a high intensity 2 hours at a time, sometimes twice a day (as part of training as a competitive rower) and I still wasn't skinny (the reality is that I was mostly muscle, although I could have done better with my eating at that time).
Until I really wanted to make a change I would use every excuse in the book. People have to want to change the way they eat and to start exercising. Until that time any and all excuses will fly with them, and any and all prodding by others will go unheard.0 -
For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?
I'm laughing so hard right now because I said pretty much exactly the same thing, almost word for word, in a similar situation when was 18.
Now I'm 35 and look back and realize I had my head so far up my own backside that it's a miracle that I could hear my own voice, never mind enjoy it so much.0 -
I like you.
Me too.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I just realised that i used to be that whiny, lazy ,unmotivated, pain in the *kitten* kind of person.. But something clicked for me 2 weeks ago. I just want to change i dont see any other way. I need to build a healthy lifestyle and im doing it and it feels AWESOME
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For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?
This particular OP seems to thrive on the idea that she vary mature for her age (see her profile). In reality, mature people don't call out things that don't directly impact themselves in some way.0 -
For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?
No one is saying young adults are uneducated and naive, but simply by virtue of life, inexperienced. You don't have the years or experiences to form judgments based on experiences. That's not to say your judgments are incorrect all the time, or correct all the time, but until certain things are lived, judgments are incomplete at best.0 -
I like you.
Me too.
Me most.
I love you!
:flowerforyou: :smooched:0 -
No one is saying young adults are uneducated and naive
coughcoughactuallyIamcoughcough0 -
Great motivational tiraid, mate!
I liked it, thanks for the support!
(Don't listen to what some others say... This site is loaded with bullies, it's pathetic really.)
Yep, people suggesting compassion, rather than asserting that they are superior because they "don't make excuses" is totally bullying.
Dollface, I read that bit you replied to as heavily dripping wiht sarcasm.0 -
One person's excuses are another person's reasons. It's hard to know how to respond. Some people need reassurance and encouragement, others need a swift kick in the motivation.
"Excuses are tools of the incompetent." ---- Mike Tomlin, Head Coach Pittsburgh Steelers.
Wow love stealing0 -
Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.
Not true at all. I joined MFP to track calories (because I wanted to improve) and found the forum.0 -
Great motivational tiraid, mate!
I liked it, thanks for the support!
(Don't listen to what some others say... This site is loaded with bullies, it's pathetic really.)
Yep, people suggesting compassion, rather than asserting that they are superior because they "don't make excuses" is totally bullying.
Dollface, I read that bit you replied to as heavily dripping wiht sarcasm.
Me? Sarcastic? Never.0 -
Oh, Bri. I know so many 19 year olds who are much more mature, Please don't lump.I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!
"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"
Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!
I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!
Spoken like a true 19 year old. Grow up, honey, and stop whining about other people.0 -
I like you.
Me too.
Me most.
I love you!
:flowerforyou: :smooched:
:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:0 -
Wow. I don't see myself as overly sensitive, but let's face it folks - if we were all at goal weight and loved how we looked and felt we wouldn't have joined MFP. Food is fuel and oxygen is fuel. Stress demands a lot of fuel and those who work long hours often turn to food to just keep functioning. When they finally can take a break, they crash. For many of us, not only does it take great strength and determination to get and stay healthy, it takes a whole me-first outlook that we're not accustomed to. So instead of ragging on folks who are out there giving 100% to everyone else - their jobs, families, friends, others - and have made no time for themselves, let's help them see how important they are. Let's encourage their wellness instead of whining that we don't want to hear excuses. After all, nearly all of us have been there.0
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Oh, Bri. I know so many 19 year olds who are much more mature, Please don't lump.I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!
"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"
Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!
I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!
Spoken like a true 19 year old. Grow up, honey, and stop whining about other people.
I'm 19.0 -
Very true! I thought I was depressed until I realized that lack of movement reduces the endorphins and dopomine that we naturally produce to keep us healthy. Anyone that is depressed, get them moving. Get them off the drugs. DO NOT ENABLE THEM!
Anyone who has that attitude, stay way way way away from them. Do not listen to them. Listen to your doctor, who understands the difference between brain chemistry that can be altered by naturally-produced chemicals (one of which is spelled dopAmine) and brain chemistry that requires outside intervention to stabilize.0 -
It's just some people have learned the difference between lifestyle and diet.
^^^ THIS!!!0 -
Well if it was that simple then why is there a problem with overweight / fat people!
It's not easy, many people comfort eat etc!0 -
I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.
I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.0 -
Very true! I thought I was depressed until I realized that lack of movement reduces the endorphins and dopomine that we naturally produce to keep us healthy. Anyone that is depressed, get them moving. Get them off the drugs. DO NOT ENABLE THEM!
ZOMG! Tom Cruise is on MFP!0
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