My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)
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Wow. I don't see myself as overly sensitive, but let's face it folks - if we were all at goal weight and loved how we looked and felt we wouldn't have joined MFP. Food is fuel and oxygen is fuel. Stress demands a lot of fuel and those who work long hours often turn to food to just keep functioning. When they finally can take a break, they crash. For many of us, not only does it take great strength and determination to get and stay healthy, it takes a whole me-first outlook that we're not accustomed to. So instead of ragging on folks who are out there giving 100% to everyone else - their jobs, families, friends, others - and have made no time for themselves, let's help them see how important they are. Let's encourage their wellness instead of whining that we don't want to hear excuses. After all, nearly all of us have been there.
Nice first post. An ounce of kindness always beats a pound of bullying.0 -
ZOMG! Tom Cruise is on MFP!
Much better reply than mine. You win the Internet today.0 -
I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.
I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.
Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.0 -
I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.
I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.
this is the most respectable post i've seen on this thread yet.0 -
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Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?
And in case you missed it,
Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.
Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.
You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.
here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!
This0 -
I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.
I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.
"Dumb[est]" comes in all ages. There's a difference between "dumb" out of ignorance and "dumb" out of inexperience. (I'm only using "dumb" because that's the word you chose.) I'd far prefer the young, inexperienced version over the ignorance version.
If OP had posted in a manner similar to your's, this thread wouldn't have resulted in the both-sides-bashing fest it has turned in to.0 -
Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.
Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.0 -
Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.
Agreed to a point. Now that I have starting working out at least 5 days a week, I feel better; not as depressed! All that serotonin and those endorphins are great!0 -
Excuses are a form of protection when you aren't ready to accept that change needs to occur. No one wants to fail at anything they do and weight loss something very public where others can see your success or failure fairly quickly. When you aren't strong enough in your convictions or don't have enough self-esteem, etc. you use excuses to protect you from experiencing failure. We all need a kick in the pants every once in awhile. For those using an excuse, our words of encouragement or kick may be just what they need to make that commitment to change their lives. Yes, excuses suck but if you can support that person enough to just get them over the hump to commit, you many just save their life.0
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Disclaimer: , unless of course they're paying you for that.
Not even then. We have about 40-50% compliance rates with medical treatments and even lower for exercise programs.0 -
This
Yep.
Edited to add: And I've read some comments mentioning her age. I don't care, I haven't even checked her profile. As previously said, many people my age and older are complete idiots. Now, whatever age this lady is, she has no understanding of a lot of serious things in life. Unfortunately, ignorance is not an excuse, and kindness goes further than criticism. Sweetheart, woman up.0 -
:drinker: :smooched: :drinker:
Just the swift kick in the tail I needed this morning...I'm feeling rather blase and ugh-ish today--you ROCK for posting this! Here's some quotes I'll be thinking about in addition to your tough love post:
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
Benjamin Franklin
A lie is an excuse guarded. ~Jonathan Swift
Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
George Washington Carver
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses.
William Arthur Ward
Not managing your time and making excuses are two bad habits. Don't put them both together by claiming you "don't have the time". Bo Bennett
I am not the kind of woman who excuses her mistakes while reminding us of what used to be. Gene Tierney
No excuses and no sob stories. Life is full of excuses if you're looking. I have no time to gripe over misfortune. I don't waste time looking back. Junior Seau
The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. ~Jules Renard
Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.
~Ani Difranco
And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.
~William Shakespeare
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Not even then. We have about 40-50% compliance rates with medical treatments and even lower for exercise programs.
I guess not everyone is as cheap and careful with their money as I am then
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Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.
If you look back -- a (hot) nurse posted the stages of coming to terms with making a life change --- wavering and weighing out pros and cons is a natural part of the process. I don't like people who don't honor their commitments either - but people have to get their themselves -- that means that they have to realize their excuses ARE excuses -- somebody else pointing it out and saying "get over it" isn't how a lot of people operate. Some do, admittedly, but I would guess those people are further in the process.0 -
Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.0
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I like you.
FR sent!0 -
For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?
Because the OP said some uneducated and naive things perhaps?0 -
I actually agree.0
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that is actually a great post! it's the truth for sure!! The comment I love the best was "The point is, you're fat" . lol not to be mean, but, it's true! sometimes I think we have to take that to heart and finally admit the truth about ourselves! it's like that movie "the ugly truth". we all know what the truth is.. but a lot of times, it is so hard to actually accept it!
great post! 0 -
Agreed. Everyone starts somewhere and until they decide to take that step, there will be excuses. I believe most can understand this because a lot of us have been that person.0 -
But... But she is very mature for her age ^^
LOL!0 -
If you look back -- a (hot) nurse posted the stages of coming to terms with making a life change --- wavering and weighing out pros and cons is a natural part of the process. I don't like people who don't honor their commitments either - but people have to get their themselves -- that means that they have to realize their excuses ARE excuses -- somebody else pointing it out and saying "get over it" isn't how a lot of people operate. Some do, admittedly, but I would guess those people are further in the process.
Agreed. Pardon my ignorance here but what do y'all mean by OP? LOL0 -
Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.
Agree to disagree on this matter. All other aspects of intelligence being equal, I'll take life advice from a 40 year old over a 19 year old any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.
It's true that there are some very clever 19 year-olds out there. And some really, really dumb 40 year-olds. But the existence of extremes doesn't change the general rule that a person with more life experience is better placed to form informed opinions on life.
And before anyone calls out the "well teenagers can have crappy things happen to them too!" card - yeah, sure, they can. I had stuff happen to me before the age of 10 that would traumatize an adult. Lot's of teenagers have dealt with crap in their short lives. But few have yet had to carry-on regardless. Few have had to pick an entire family off the floor after being made redundant and having homes and cars repossessed. Few have had to personally put the affairs of a loved one in order after they passed on (as was my personal task just last year). Few have buried children. Few have lived years in the shadow of cancer waiting for the all clear. Few have had to work two jobs to keep food in children's bellies. Few have lost multiple pregnancies and been told they may never have children.
It's not their failing, in fact, it's a blessing for them. But people who have dealt with things of that gravity don't really appreciate having their problems reduced to 'your excuse is invalid, stop whining' by a young girl.
I am fully aware of the irony of this statement. I am aware that in rebutting I am making a generalization myself. But I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that someone who has lived twice as long will generally have twice the experience.0 -
Me? Sarcastic? Never.
Actually, I meant that bolded part above.0 -
Agreed. Pardon my ignorance here but what do y'all mean by OP? LOL
OP refers to original post(er)0 -
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Anh720- Thanks. It should have been obvious but sometimes I do ride on the short bus. 0
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I agree with you. its kind of like my sister in law saying I really need to quit smoking but..........
lists me the reasons why she can't quit doing it. I told her stop with the excuses and stop talking about it and do it already.
its like anything the people who make excuses to be honest I think they either don't want it bad enough to fight for it or they want a quick fix because they want to be lazy and not make the effort. I am losing this weight on my own. doing changes daily to help me do so. so far I lost 75 pounds. I started out at 250 pounds and a size 26. I am now 175 pounds and a size 14. 3 sizes away from my goal size. granted its been 2 1/2 years to reach this point but I got here.0 -
bumping0
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