My Fiance doesn't "Fancy" me anymore!? :-(

You women are all the same. You b*tch and moan about us not communicating enough, not expressing our feelings, etc. But when we tell you how we feel we somehow turn into the "abusive, controlling" one because you don't like what we are saying.

Hey now, some of us don't agree with that! Sometimes, though, things can be said in a better way, to make sure true intention is understood. It goes both ways, though!

BTW, telling someone you aren't attracted to them anywhere is FAR from abusive language (or controlling behavior for that matter) ....if you want verbal abuse I can provide real examples.

This, I agree with. 100%.

My thought was at least he was honest though, some people may say he's a jerk or mean or whatever, but to me it is better to be truthful than to string someone along, and just make the pain worse later on. Whilst it may not feel nice now, imagine if he dropped that bombshell when you've just got married. just had a child etc...

i kind of agree with this. my husband and i have had this conversation, as he has friends who now have very overweight partners and it makes for a very awkward 'do you really need that extra slice of pizza' conversation, but surely say something before the other person becomes physically unattractive?

might be too personal a question but how often are you intimate? has that stopped recently?

you need to talk about it, but i dont see why you would want to stay with someone who says they dont fancy you?

There is a way to be honest without being a jerk.

"Downward spiral" and "disappointed" are not words you should use. I hope he's a freaking Greek Adonis if he thinks he has authority to even say that crap to you.

That's abuse and all the women on this thread who say he's just being honest blah blah blah are probably in mentally abusive relationships. You don't let anyone talk to you like that. He sounds catty and bitter. I'd cut him loose. Life happens and we can't all exercise 3 hours a day 6 times a week. Sorry. After a 12 hour a day the only thing I want to do is freaking relax. If I worked 12 hours and came home to just want to relax and my man said he was disappointed and made some snide *kitten* comment about downward spiral, I'd tell him that he can go be disappointed somewhere else and go find some exercise barbie who wants to live to please him. Psh.

Some of us take fitness seriously and our relationships seriously. Others don't. The two don't mix. And a 12 hour day is light weight and laughable.

A 12 hour work day is not laughable. Don't be a douche.

Don't be lazy. People use their jobs as an excuse all the time on here to sit on the couch and eat too much. The fact that you can't see that this is what she's doing says more about you than her. I have an awesome spouse and we push each other. Both of us have worked far more hours than this and still managed to have kids and a social life that involved exercise. Sitting in front of the TV is neither good for the OP's health or her relationship. What's wrong with a walk with her fiance? Oh yea, she's too tired from all that sitting at work . . .

You fail at being a troll. So you work 8am to 8pm or longer, still have time for a commute (if there is one) kids and exercise and adequate sleep? lol

Yes. Lots of people do. I guess if that's your view of things so be it.

By all means, please post your schedule because we would all love to know how you work more than 12 hours in a day and still have time to do everything else.

How many hours do you think most professionals work in a day? Doctors, lawyers, fund managers, investment bankers, etc. for the most part consider 12 hour days the base line. It's about scheduling your days and priorities. If the OP and her fiance are not compatible, so be it, but I know plenty of people with demanding jobs that manage to stay in great shape. It's simply a matter of whether you want it or not. Yes, you can always say "it's too hard" but that is almost always an excuse. She has time to sit in front of the TV, right? Then she has time to go for a walk. She'll sleep better, have time to talk through relationship problems with her fiance (rather than whining on the internetz), and look and feel better for it. But, by all means, just continue to pat her on the back and say it's okay.

"wait wait wait, let me get this straight.... A man can have ONE woman to have for his ENTIRE life?!!?!! isn't he entitled to get exactly what he wants then?! and if it isn't what he wants... he is supposed to stay with her for his ENTIRE life just so he doesnt hurt her feelings?! Or is he supposed to lie and now find a different reason to not be with her?! wtf is wrong here?!?!?! You are allowed to have whatever you want out of life. damn!"

You can have what you want in life, but you are not entitled to have anything. Just as you have to work towards any goal or want, a man and woman have to work together to make a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship. If you honestly expect a woman to bow down to your every whim and wish, just because you are male, and you're making some kind of sacrifice by being with only one woman, then you are about thirteen years old and shouldn't be posting on the Internet.

So he works out and runs, takes care of himself and leads a healthy life, while she sits on her fanny, eats gyros and complains about how he's not being supportive? Sure, sounds dandy! :sick:

Then he should move on and find a woman that works for him. He obviously cares little about this woman - so, find someone else to make you happy - don't try to change the person you are with. It NEVER works to try to make a person into the person you want. Much better to keep looking until you find them. Out the door, woman!

Isn't that what he said? I love how on a fitness website so many of you are about encouraging others to NOT change for the better. So much better to encourage people to stay overweight and lazy. Got it.

Ummm, actually people are encouraging her to stick up for herself. This has nothing to do with weight. She's already watching her calories, and if you look at her pics, she's actually quite healthy right now. All of us cheer on those who make healthy change for themselves.
This is a basic argument of whether a person can dictate his significant other to be exactly what he wants, and yes, many people do have control issues. A lot of us have been there, and we are outing her SO as a control freak. That does not make it normal or okay. A person should not control another person. If you really think that's healthy then you have never known true love.

It could be that she says she's lazy but he tells her she is being lazy. It could be because he makes her feel lazy with the words he says to her.

There have been times in my relationship though thank goodness we've worked through them where my hubby made me feel like I was a failure even when I wasn't. If I had claimed I was a failure because I felt like one because of the things he said to me....was I really? No.

(My husband at the time was experiencing depression issues caused by horrible work environment and he brought all his frustrations home to me)

Read her profile. She says she's lazy. If she wants to change then she should change. If she wants to whine on the internetz then by all means keep up supporting her whining like so many of you do.

Maybe her SO is a control freak and maybe he's not. You assume he's a control freak because you're projecting those attributes onto him, perhaps because of your past relationships. All we have is what she has written. Sitting on the couch and eating crappy take out in front of the TV is a legitimate life decision, but it's not healthy. And it's certainly not going to help her relationship with someone that she knows is into fitness and exercise, and who enjoyed spending time with her pursuing that. If she wants the sedentary life then she should leave him, but it's not his fault any more than it's her fault.

It could be that she says she's lazy but he tells her she is being lazy. It could be because he makes her feel lazy with the words he says to her.

There have been times in my relationship though thank goodness we've worked through them where my hubby made me feel like I was a failure even when I wasn't. If I had claimed I was a failure because I felt like one because of the things he said to me....was I really? No.

(My husband at the time was experiencing depression issues caused by horrible work environment and he brought all his frustrations home to me)
*edited to delete all the quote trees...they get too long.

P.S. Although your man does sound like an *kitten* in the context of this behaviour, don't be influenced by people telling you to break up with him just because they're only seeing him in this light. I completely understand how this feels, which is why I never tell anyone if I'm having a hiccup in my relationship. It's too easy for people to say "leave him" and make it seem like there is some perfect man out there, when there isn't. If the pros outweigh the cons, and overall you're happy, there's no reason to leave, just lay down some boundaries and keep him in check.

No, there is not a perfect man out there. But there are men out there that love women no matter what the number on the scale reads. My husband has loved me (and fancied me) at my highest and lowest weight. Never has he belittled me for looking a certain way. But he has told me that my confidence - THE WAY I SPEAK AND THINK ABOUT MYSELF - can have an impact on his attraction towards me on a daily basis, not overall.