My Fiance doesn't "Fancy" me anymore!? :-(
Replies
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DTMFA. If you think its bad now wait until you have a baby!0
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Sounds like you need a new man.The only thing I can say is that at least he's being honest. However, you may want to reconsider marrying him. Imagine if you had kids with him....how would he feel about you then...unless you've already had kids with him. I'm married, gained weight while married, and my hubby has never told me anything except for I'm beautiful. I'm losing the weight now for myself. Looks only last for so long and trule love runs much deeper than that. Run while you can. Lose the weight by reprioritizing your life. A quick way to lose some serious weight is to dump his butt. Good luck.0
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Why do we as women have so little self esteem, self confidence? Do not give him this power!! You deserve much more than this person. Don't let the few good times you had with this person cloud your judgement..I saw your pictures and if the man you are with is him, he's no Ryan Gosling!!!
You know what you have to do, you were just asking us to confirm your decision!!
All the best0 -
This is sortof a reply to the OP and some other posts I've seen here
Were those really about you loving running and developing an obsession with the scales, and it was entirely about you enjoying it/wanting it for you? If so, it's a bit understandable that he may feel like you're disconnected with him. I know that I've picked up habits/hobbies while in a relationship, but it wasn't through bullying. They did it, I wanted to see what it was like so I tried, and I enjoyed it. Carried it on with them. I wasn't forced to do it, it just happened. If that is what you experienced, consider that it may really just be him missing that part of you. He may have felt like he introduced you to something that made you happy, and now you've left it (and him) behind.When we met I was between 147lb and 154lb and suitably happy/confident at the size 12 I had been for many years. But over time (5yrs together to date) I started to naturally fall into line with his exercise regime and healthier eating. I developed a passion for running and lost about 20lb dropping to a size 8-10 and also starving myself with my new addiction to the bathroom scales usually skipping dinners 5 days a week.....
This is something that I think a lot of people suffer from, and need to work on changing. Food can't be a support system, it's not healthy. I feel the struggle with this, too.But the problem is food REALLY cheers me up after a bad day, and the last thing I want to do when I work 7-7 is hit the pavements for a run especially in this never ending winter!Now after a turbulent 18months at work while studying part-time for a diploma (nights and weekends) I have re-gained those 20lb and I'm embarrassed by my appearance.
He really has no ground to tell you he's disappointed with your choices like that. It could have just been, as others said, him letting it finally bubble to the top and blurt it out, but that's something you need to discuss with him and find out.I could sense the tension, I knew he wasn't happy with my choices that night, and voices he has been "disappointed" with my lack of enthusiasm for exercise and diet for several months now. BUT he also knows I'm having a really hard time at work and I am pretty unhappy which is ultimately leading to my de-motivated attitude of late.
Basically, I agree with those that said you need to have a discussion with yourself, and with him. Find out why you did certain things (lose weight initially, start running, etc.) and then find out what exactly he doesn't fancy. If either: you changed FOR him, or he doesn't like that you regained weight, definitely consider parting ways. If you changed for you, and he's just really bad at saying that he misses your shared interest in fitness, consider talking to him about how you can communicate better about things like that.0 -
Perhaps you should let him know that his shallow attitude makes him very unattractive. What a jerk.
I hope things work out for you. You deserve better.0 -
Thats very insensitive I would NEVER repeat NEVER say that to my fiance, she has also gained maybe 14lbs since we met 5 years ago but I don't love her any less or am I less attracted to her.
Its kind of selfish, not understanding and superficial.Even if what he said was true maybe its more the manor in how unlovingly he chose to deliver it.
I have learned the hard way about how I say things and thinking from another perspective and not as a male just as a person in general.
Regardless of your relationship issues find your own strength in life and live in the present moment. 5 minutes of meditation in the morning lunch and at night can make a difference an de -stress you.
THIS is what love looks like.0 -
Is that him in your pics?? Has he addressed his receding hairline? Will you love him when he is bald? He sounds like a bully to me. When he turns himself into the PERFECT man, then he can start telling you how to be perfect. If you want to lose weight, then you do it for yourself ... if you do it for anyone else, it won't last. And another point someone else had ... what about if you have a child? Lord forbid if you don't lose the weight on his timetable and get back to your original size (which you realize you never will as your hips will expand naturally for childbirth). He should love you and find you attractive at any weight - you are YOU and the person he fell in love with no matter what you weigh. Good luck if you stay with him ... sounds like you are going to need it.0
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Forget about what HE said or did for a moment, and think about what you've said here. You've alluded to the fact that you were happier before you guys were together. Happy, healthy, confident I believe we terms you used to describe yourself pre-relationship. Now look at how you describe yourself currently. ...you certainly don't seem happy, healthy, or confident. For no other reasons, I would say leave. Who YOU are in a relationship is a big indicator of how successful your relationship is. If you were a better person (on a multitude of levels) before you were with him, then you will be a better person without him. Forget about him, and think about you. After all, he is CLEARLY thinking about himself here. ...as he should be, and you should be too.0
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He might not be sorry for what he said... BUT if he's not sorry he's upset you then that's not a good start to a marriage. That's what he needs to be sorry for, lack of support and offending you. Ask him, if he's not sorry he's hurt you... well think what else he might be capable of doing in the long run. Good luck hun! Don't let anyone tell you what to do anyway. Do only what you want to do! Hugs.0
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I personally feel that love should be love, regardless of whether you can fit into your pants. What's he going to say when you have trouble losing the weight after you've had babies?? To say something so hurtful when he knows you've been having a tough time, I would be re-evaluating, Have a sit down with him and see what he says. It seems to me that a couple that is about to be married should be head over heels in love, without any criticism toward each other's physical appearance.
^^ this
I think that you should always try to be the best version of yourself and it is unfair to completely let yourself go, but that does not appear to be the case here.
Think - this is supposed to be the "honeymoon" phase - this behavior is not likely to improve with time. Some people do fine in relationships where the words exchanged can be brutal. I am not one of those people, what he says matters a LOT.
IF you're fine with it and it will inspire you in a healthy (not starving yourself) kind of way, keep at it. Personally, I would view this as an eye-opener for getting out before you commit yourself to him.0 -
I read most but not all of the responses. Sorry if this is a repeat.
Let me get this straight....You worked all day, came home late, and had to pick up something for your dinner so you could eat before you got to bed instead of skipping a meal. If he was so concerned about your weight, it seems to me he could have had a nice, healthy dinner prepared for you when you came home. I, personally, don't fancy that he didn't.
If he wants you to succeed, how is he helping you? Did he encourage you when you ran with him? Did he tell you he is happy you are taking good care of yourself because he wants a long life together with you?
What if you had a terrible accident and suffered burns or scars on your face? Would he not fancy you then?
What if HE had a terrible accident with burns or scars...would he like you telling him you don't fancy him? What if he had an injury that didn't allow him to work out anymore and he gained weight. How would he feel if you said those things to him? What if he went bald? Maybe you wouldn't "fancy" that.
What if....What if....what if?
I believe we marry for life. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. Good times and bad. It doesn't sound like he is willing to take the bad with the good (and this isn't even bad. I have stretch marks. Trust me, even I don't fancy them!!).
He DEFINITELY could have worded this much better.
Good luck with this. As easy as it is for me to say "dump him", you obviously care a great deal about him and this can't be an easy situation for you. I hope you continue to come here for support. I hope you succeed in whatever YOU want for you.
And for what it's worth, you ARE beautiful!0 -
Conditional love isn't love. It's a business arrangement.
If you want to lose the extra pounds, then do it, but don't do it because of him.0 -
I haven't read all the replies but I felt like I should reply. I don't see how he could not be physically attracted to you, you met when you were the same size (and it's not big at all).
IME though men don't really know how to communicate very well. He might be just missing the time you two spent together running and he might just be feeling like you are growing apart because you aren't doing the things you used to do. He *may* just not know how to articulate it properly. People need intimacy and not just in the bedroom but that connection that the two of you have that draws you to each other. Maybe he found that intimacy in the runs you did together and now that it's not there he's having a hard time with it.
Before you go breaking it off and calling it quits I seriously suggest sitting down and making sure he's not controlling and he does really find you attractive. Talk to him about his comment, how it made you feel, find out more about where he is coming from. Is he just missing the time between you two, how much is he willing to work at the relationship, how much are you willing to work on yourself (and hence, on the relationship), does he really not fancy YOU anymore or just this phase you are going through. Explain to him your depression and how you feel after work... talk about he can help you.
Men are more visual people they sometimes (imo) don't realize the emotional side of intimacy. Love comes from physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. You will notice a lot of couples saying my partner loved me at every size it's because that connection is more than physical and this is what you want from a real solid relationship.
Please keep in mind you weren't healthy eating in the first place and you need to find that balance between food and emotions. If he's willing to help you by doing positive things and you are willing to work at the relationship too then I think the relationship can last. He can make you a delicious low calorie meal so you can come home from a long day of work to healthy food and then maybe you can find the energy to go for a run.
Take a look at yourself first and decide what you want to do for you, and where the intimacy is really "broken".
If he's just being a selfish superficial guy who just wants "arm candy", I say leave him because he's probably always going to be looking for the next best thing and he's not ready for a real relationship because you are going to have your ups and downs. Having children, getting old, etc. If he can't respect and love you for you then he's not worth it.0 -
Is that him in your pics?? Has he addressed his receding hairline? Will you love him when he is bald? He sounds like a bully to me. When he turns himself into the PERFECT man, then he can start telling you how to be perfect. If you want to lose weight, then you do it for yourself ... if you do it for anyone else, it won't last. And another point someone else had ... what about if you have a child? Lord forbid if you don't lose the weight on his timetable and get back to your original size (which you realize you never will as your hips will expand naturally for childbirth). He should love you and find you attractive at any weight - you are YOU and the person he fell in love with no matter what you weigh. Good luck if you stay with him ... sounds like you are going to need it.
:laugh: I laughed a bit too hard at this.0 -
The one thing that caught my attention was being addicted to the scale and skipping meals. The question I would ask is, is it because you wanted the weight loss, or is it more because you felt like you needed the weight loss to keep him happy with you? It's easy to read too much between the lines that really isn't there.
If the exercise and diet are more about keeping him happy than about you, then in the long run it is only going to lead to frustration, and at some point you are going to throw up your hands and give up, because long term that's not sufficient motivation. Nor is it healthy. In the end, what's going to really work is because you want it for you, and especially if you feel like you deserve it for you.
Last thought: Love is ultimately wanting the very best for the other person. I think that leads to the question of, what is his motivation for wanting you to eat healthier and exercise? Is it because deep down he really cares for your well being and he knows that it's the best thing for you? Or is it because he wants a hot chick by his side which makes him look good? A phrase like I don't fancy you any more makes me think it's more about him. IF that is the case, that's not the kind of love that will keep you together for the long haul. If that's the case, thank God that it's popped up now instead of after you've married and had a family and all of that.0 -
Doesn't sound like an empathetic guy. I would tell him how terrible you felt when he said that. See what he says. Make sure he knows that you and your feelings are real and valuable. If he doesn't respond as you would have hoped--well, that tells you something.0
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My thought was at least he was honest though, some people may say he's a jerk or mean or whatever, but to me it is better to be truthful than to string someone along, and just make the pain worse later on. Whilst it may not feel nice now, imagine if he dropped that bombshell when you've just got married. just had a child etc...
i kind of agree with this. my husband and i have had this conversation, as he has friends who now have very overweight partners and it makes for a very awkward 'do you really need that extra slice of pizza' conversation, but surely say something before the other person becomes physically unattractive?
might be too personal a question but how often are you intimate? has that stopped recently?
you need to talk about it, but i dont see why you would want to stay with someone who says they dont fancy you?
There is a way to be honest without being a jerk.
"Downward spiral" and "disappointed" are not words you should use. I hope he's a freaking Greek Adonis if he thinks he has authority to even say that crap to you.
That's abuse and all the women on this thread who say he's just being honest blah blah blah are probably in mentally abusive relationships. You don't let anyone talk to you like that. He sounds catty and bitter. I'd cut him loose. Life happens and we can't all exercise 3 hours a day 6 times a week. Sorry. After a 12 hour a day the only thing I want to do is freaking relax. If I worked 12 hours and came home to just want to relax and my man said he was disappointed and made some snide *kitten* comment about downward spiral, I'd tell him that he can go be disappointed somewhere else and go find some exercise barbie who wants to live to please him. Psh.
Some of us take fitness seriously and our relationships seriously. Others don't. The two don't mix. And a 12 hour day is light weight and laughable.
A 12 hour work day is not laughable. Don't be a douche.
Don't be lazy. People use their jobs as an excuse all the time on here to sit on the couch and eat too much. The fact that you can't see that this is what she's doing says more about you than her. I have an awesome spouse and we push each other. Both of us have worked far more hours than this and still managed to have kids and a social life that involved exercise. Sitting in front of the TV is neither good for the OP's health or her relationship. What's wrong with a walk with her fiance? Oh yea, she's too tired from all that sitting at work . . .
Sounds like you and the OP's fiancee were meant for each other!0 -
My SO has seen me miserable, morbidly obese but would never have said that to me. If he gained weight I'd see right through it to to the person I love. Support all the way. If he'd have ever said anything like that to me, it would have completely crushed me. It's not just that it's honest though...saying I don't fancy you has a sense of finality to it. How long is he going to give you before he does fancy you again? 6 months, 20lbs? Seriously...is turning that statement around as simple as that? I think you know the answer and it's going to involve a lot of pain. Maybe you'll do what you think he wants but will you ever trust him to be a soft place to land when the rest of the world around you turns to s*it?
This ... well said!0 -
My thought was at least he was honest though, some people may say he's a jerk or mean or whatever, but to me it is better to be truthful than to string someone along, and just make the pain worse later on. Whilst it may not feel nice now, imagine if he dropped that bombshell when you've just got married. just had a child etc...
i kind of agree with this. my husband and i have had this conversation, as he has friends who now have very overweight partners and it makes for a very awkward 'do you really need that extra slice of pizza' conversation, but surely say something before the other person becomes physically unattractive?
might be too personal a question but how often are you intimate? has that stopped recently?
you need to talk about it, but i dont see why you would want to stay with someone who says they dont fancy you?
There is a way to be honest without being a jerk.
"Downward spiral" and "disappointed" are not words you should use. I hope he's a freaking Greek Adonis if he thinks he has authority to even say that crap to you.
That's abuse and all the women on this thread who say he's just being honest blah blah blah are probably in mentally abusive relationships. You don't let anyone talk to you like that. He sounds catty and bitter. I'd cut him loose. Life happens and we can't all exercise 3 hours a day 6 times a week. Sorry. After a 12 hour a day the only thing I want to do is freaking relax. If I worked 12 hours and came home to just want to relax and my man said he was disappointed and made some snide *kitten* comment about downward spiral, I'd tell him that he can go be disappointed somewhere else and go find some exercise barbie who wants to live to please him. Psh.
Some of us take fitness seriously and our relationships seriously. Others don't. The two don't mix. And a 12 hour day is light weight and laughable.
A 12 hour work day is not laughable. Don't be a douche.
Don't be lazy. People use their jobs as an excuse all the time on here to sit on the couch and eat too much. The fact that you can't see that this is what she's doing says more about you than her. I have an awesome spouse and we push each other. Both of us have worked far more hours than this and still managed to have kids and a social life that involved exercise. Sitting in front of the TV is neither good for the OP's health or her relationship. What's wrong with a walk with her fiance? Oh yea, she's too tired from all that sitting at work . . .
You fail at being a troll. So you work 8am to 8pm or longer, still have time for a commute (if there is one) kids and exercise and adequate sleep? lol0 -
Hello...After reading your post and several comments....just wanted to leave a bit of advice...First I was thinking like most the others that you should just leave him....but then I thought NO that is not the right answer........Being engaged should be treated just the same as being married and when things are not working in a marriage too many people use divorce as an "easy fix button". That is not how marriage is supposed to be...Yes he sounds like a total jerk in this senerio, but you must have found some good qualities in him if you accepted his proposal to be his wife. I would suggest pre-marital counseling and couple counseling......BE HONEST in the sessions and tell him how it makes you feel and ask him what his expectations are. Find out how he believes he would feel after you had a baby. I am here to tell you that is not easy weight to drop by no means. It also leaves stretch marks (sometimes), but those are proof that your body has done something very profound!! :-) Don't single out the specifics of what he said, but take it as a whole and try to work through it! It is worth it in the end weather you two end up getting married or split up, because YOU will know in your heart you did everything you could to save the relationship! God bless both of you! :-)0
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My thought was at least he was honest though, some people may say he's a jerk or mean or whatever, but to me it is better to be truthful than to string someone along, and just make the pain worse later on. Whilst it may not feel nice now, imagine if he dropped that bombshell when you've just got married. just had a child etc...
i kind of agree with this. my husband and i have had this conversation, as he has friends who now have very overweight partners and it makes for a very awkward 'do you really need that extra slice of pizza' conversation, but surely say something before the other person becomes physically unattractive?
might be too personal a question but how often are you intimate? has that stopped recently?
you need to talk about it, but i dont see why you would want to stay with someone who says they dont fancy you?
There is a way to be honest without being a jerk.
"Downward spiral" and "disappointed" are not words you should use. I hope he's a freaking Greek Adonis if he thinks he has authority to even say that crap to you.
That's abuse and all the women on this thread who say he's just being honest blah blah blah are probably in mentally abusive relationships. You don't let anyone talk to you like that. He sounds catty and bitter. I'd cut him loose. Life happens and we can't all exercise 3 hours a day 6 times a week. Sorry. After a 12 hour a day the only thing I want to do is freaking relax. If I worked 12 hours and came home to just want to relax and my man said he was disappointed and made some snide *kitten* comment about downward spiral, I'd tell him that he can go be disappointed somewhere else and go find some exercise barbie who wants to live to please him. Psh.
Some of us take fitness seriously and our relationships seriously. Others don't. The two don't mix. And a 12 hour day is light weight and laughable.
A 12 hour work day is not laughable. Don't be a douche.
Don't be lazy. People use their jobs as an excuse all the time on here to sit on the couch and eat too much. The fact that you can't see that this is what she's doing says more about you than her. I have an awesome spouse and we push each other. Both of us have worked far more hours than this and still managed to have kids and a social life that involved exercise. Sitting in front of the TV is neither good for the OP's health or her relationship. What's wrong with a walk with her fiance? Oh yea, she's too tired from all that sitting at work . . .
You fail at being a troll. So you work 8am to 8pm or longer, still have time for a commute (if there is one) kids and exercise and adequate sleep? lol
Yes. Lots of people do. I guess if that's your view of things so be it.0 -
He might not be sorry for what he said... BUT if he's not sorry he's upset you then that's not a good start to a marriage. That's what he needs to be sorry for, lack of support and offending you. Ask him, if he's not sorry he's hurt you... well think what else he might be capable of doing in the long run. Good luck hun! Don't let anyone tell you what to do anyway. Do only what you want to do! Hugs.
^^ THIS^^
We often have to say things that might hurt someone's feelings in a relationship, money, weight, kids etc. I'm a BIG believer in it's not what you say but the way you say it!!!!
However, IMHO what he said to you was mean and sounds like it was intended to be mean and that's not OK. Go out for dinner together (for goodness sake not for a kebab!) and have a conversation there - you're less likely to end up screaming at each other and listen to what the other has to say! xx0 -
You women are all the same. You b*tch and moan about us not communicating enough, not expressing our feelings, etc. But when we tell you how we feel we somehow turn into the "abusive, controlling" one because you don't like what we are saying.
BTW, telling someone you aren't attracted to them anywhere is FAR from abusive language (or controlling behavior for that matter) ....if you want verbal abuse I can provide real examples.0 -
My thought was at least he was honest though, some people may say he's a jerk or mean or whatever, but to me it is better to be truthful than to string someone along, and just make the pain worse later on. Whilst it may not feel nice now, imagine if he dropped that bombshell when you've just got married. just had a child etc...
i kind of agree with this. my husband and i have had this conversation, as he has friends who now have very overweight partners and it makes for a very awkward 'do you really need that extra slice of pizza' conversation, but surely say something before the other person becomes physically unattractive?
might be too personal a question but how often are you intimate? has that stopped recently?
you need to talk about it, but i dont see why you would want to stay with someone who says they dont fancy you?
There is a way to be honest without being a jerk.
"Downward spiral" and "disappointed" are not words you should use. I hope he's a freaking Greek Adonis if he thinks he has authority to even say that crap to you.
That's abuse and all the women on this thread who say he's just being honest blah blah blah are probably in mentally abusive relationships. You don't let anyone talk to you like that. He sounds catty and bitter. I'd cut him loose. Life happens and we can't all exercise 3 hours a day 6 times a week. Sorry. After a 12 hour a day the only thing I want to do is freaking relax. If I worked 12 hours and came home to just want to relax and my man said he was disappointed and made some snide *kitten* comment about downward spiral, I'd tell him that he can go be disappointed somewhere else and go find some exercise barbie who wants to live to please him. Psh.
Some of us take fitness seriously and our relationships seriously. Others don't. The two don't mix. And a 12 hour day is light weight and laughable.
A 12 hour work day is not laughable. Don't be a douche.
Don't be lazy. People use their jobs as an excuse all the time on here to sit on the couch and eat too much. The fact that you can't see that this is what she's doing says more about you than her. I have an awesome spouse and we push each other. Both of us have worked far more hours than this and still managed to have kids and a social life that involved exercise. Sitting in front of the TV is neither good for the OP's health or her relationship. What's wrong with a walk with her fiance? Oh yea, she's too tired from all that sitting at work . . .
Sounds like you and the OP's fiancee were meant for each other!
Nope. I already have a wife that is awesome like this.0 -
It's entirely possible he's using your weight as an excuse to get out of the relationship (easier if he can blame it on you instead of himself). I think it's best to get some counseling -- you can go by yourself if he isn't interested. No one needs a partner who makes life harder.0
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Hey now, some of us don't agree with that! Sometimes, though, things can be said in a better way, to make sure true intention is understood. It goes both ways, though!You women are all the same. You b*tch and moan about us not communicating enough, not expressing our feelings, etc. But when we tell you how we feel we somehow turn into the "abusive, controlling" one because you don't like what we are saying.
This, I agree with. 100%.BTW, telling someone you aren't attracted to them anywhere is FAR from abusive language (or controlling behavior for that matter) ....if you want verbal abuse I can provide real examples.0 -
There is tough love, and then there is being an *kitten*.
Although I agree with honesty, I also think there should be tact...
I also was in the same situation with my boyfriend of three years, and he has done nothing but help thankfully.
If ever he was mean and just said you're too fat for me, I would probably be upset too, even though it would be true.. The truth hurts sometimes, but you should use this horrible thing to turn it into a good thing. I would feel like crap and just not want to do anything, but if anything, prove you can do it
I hope you work things out0 -
Hello...After reading your post and several comments....just wanted to leave a bit of advice...First I was thinking like most the
others that you should just leave him....but then I thought NO that is not the right answer........Being engaged should be treated just the same as being married and when things are not working in a marriage too many people use divorce as an "easy fix button". That is not how marriage is supposed to be...Yes he sounds like a total jerk in this senerio, but you must have found some good qualities in him if you accepted his proposal to be his wife. I would suggest pre-marital counseling and couple counseling......BE HONEST in the sessions and tell him how it makes you feel and ask him what his expectations are. Find out how he believes he would feel after you had a baby. I am here to tell you that is not easy weight to drop by no means. It also leaves stretch marks (sometimes), but those are proof that your body has done something very profound!! :-) Don't single out the specifics of what he said, but take it as a whole and try to work through it! It is worth it in the end weather you two end up getting married or split up, because YOU will know in your heart you did everything you could to save the relationship! God bless both of you! :-)
Also this... .If you are engaged to be married you're in it for the good and bad... Not just the good and slim! haha
Weight gain happens, it also goes0 -
My thought was at least he was honest though, some people may say he's a jerk or mean or whatever, but to me it is better to be truthful than to string someone along, and just make the pain worse later on. Whilst it may not feel nice now, imagine if he dropped that bombshell when you've just got married. just had a child etc...
i kind of agree with this. my husband and i have had this conversation, as he has friends who now have very overweight partners and it makes for a very awkward 'do you really need that extra slice of pizza' conversation, but surely say something before the other person becomes physically unattractive?
might be too personal a question but how often are you intimate? has that stopped recently?
you need to talk about it, but i dont see why you would want to stay with someone who says they dont fancy you?
There is a way to be honest without being a jerk.
"Downward spiral" and "disappointed" are not words you should use. I hope he's a freaking Greek Adonis if he thinks he has authority to even say that crap to you.
That's abuse and all the women on this thread who say he's just being honest blah blah blah are probably in mentally abusive relationships. You don't let anyone talk to you like that. He sounds catty and bitter. I'd cut him loose. Life happens and we can't all exercise 3 hours a day 6 times a week. Sorry. After a 12 hour a day the only thing I want to do is freaking relax. If I worked 12 hours and came home to just want to relax and my man said he was disappointed and made some snide *kitten* comment about downward spiral, I'd tell him that he can go be disappointed somewhere else and go find some exercise barbie who wants to live to please him. Psh.
Some of us take fitness seriously and our relationships seriously. Others don't. The two don't mix. And a 12 hour day is light weight and laughable.
A 12 hour work day is not laughable. Don't be a douche.
Don't be lazy. People use their jobs as an excuse all the time on here to sit on the couch and eat too much. The fact that you can't see that this is what she's doing says more about you than her. I have an awesome spouse and we push each other. Both of us have worked far more hours than this and still managed to have kids and a social life that involved exercise. Sitting in front of the TV is neither good for the OP's health or her relationship. What's wrong with a walk with her fiance? Oh yea, she's too tired from all that sitting at work . . .
You fail at being a troll. So you work 8am to 8pm or longer, still have time for a commute (if there is one) kids and exercise and adequate sleep? lol
Yes. Lots of people do. I guess if that's your view of things so be it.
By all means, please post your schedule because we would all love to know how you work more than 12 hours in a day and still have time to do everything else.0 -
It makes me want to hit my head off a brick wall when I see women posting in this thread, saying things like "well, at least he's being honest and giving you a heads up so you can change for the better!" :huh: Life is about so much more than having a man, any man, validate you. If your partner can't support you when you're going through a tough time or encourage you to make healthy choices without being an insensitive, rude, obnoxious, shallow twunt, what kind of a man is he?
What happens when something really serious happens, like illness, pregnancy, redundancy? Is he going to have another tantrum because you don't want to go running or you choose a take away because can't be bothered cooking sometimes? If he cared a damn he could have had something healthy prepared for you to eat when you got home, not sit with a face like a slapped *kitten* whining about "downward spirals" and not fancying you. Does he realise that the world does not revolve around what makes his **** twitch? Does he care at all about the stress you are under? With a fiance like him, no wonder you're feeling stressed, unenthusiastic, depressed and "rebelling" against his standards.0
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