How many dates should a guy pay for?

Whoever invites pays? all depends on the gal.

^^^ This.

I like to use money as an indicator of how well the date went. (not that I have exactly "dated," but this is how I let guys know I'm not interested when they try to pay for me because of interest.)

If the date goes well, or if I am interested in a guy who offers to pay for me, I would let him with out arguing. But if the date goes badly, or a guy I know is interested in me but I am not interested back, I make sure to pay for myself.

I have gotten myself into trouble with letting guys pay for me without realising what their intention was, so now, if I am not interested, I make sure to pay for myself.

Now, if I were interested in a guy, and we were dating, I would expect at least the first 3 dates be paid for by him. I figure after that point, it would probably be official (I dunno, I have never dated XD) so after that, it would be an equal relationship.

After reading the conflicting responses from women, I'm starting to understand why men my age start to prefer dealing with prostitutes. You know from the start that you are getting a happy ending.

Are you flipping kidding?? I don't even know where to start.. If you can't handle ambiguity and individual differences, you're going to need a heavy dose of luck in life, is all I can say. As for expecting sex - at ALL, or as a right, because you maybe paid for some freaking garlic bread?? - absolutely, please do us and the prostitute a favour and give her your business.

After reading the conflicting responses from women, I'm starting to understand why men my age start to prefer dealing with prostitutes. You know from the start that you are getting a happy ending.

I was raised to pay all the time which is fine if you got the same treatment from the lady, as in taking care of you. But like others echoed men are getting confused messages, you want equality on some things but not others, can't have your cake and eat it too. Women expecting you to pay 100% remind me of this story below.

http://www.themarysue.com/woman-used-match-com-for-free-dinners/

This is why I always preferred to take turns paying because I don't want some man thinking I need to "take care of them" because they bought me a meal. hahaha

If a girl just gets on her back because a guy bought her a meal, she is a ho.

After reading the conflicting responses from women, I'm starting to understand why men my age start to prefer dealing with prostitutes. You know from the start that you are getting a happy ending.

Are you flipping kidding?? I don't even know where to start.. If you can't handle ambiguity and individual differences, you're going to need a heavy dose of luck in life, is all I can say. As for expecting sex - at ALL, or as a right, because you maybe paid for some freaking garlic bread?? - absolutely, please do us and the prostitute a favour and give her your business.

+1 I'm not a prossy but if I were it would cost a hell of a lot more than dinner and a movie LOL

Lol! I would have to think about my price, but looking at the likely demographic of customers, would be after a REALLY good insurance plan

After reading the conflicting responses from women, I'm starting to understand why men my age start to prefer dealing with prostitutes. You know from the start that you are getting a happy ending.

I was raised to pay all the time which is fine if you got the same treatment from the lady, as in taking care of you. But like others echoed men are getting confused messages, you want equality on some things but not others, can't have your cake and eat it too. Women expecting you to pay 100% remind me of this story below.

http://www.themarysue.com/woman-used-match-com-for-free-dinners/

I expect equality in the work force, being able to vote, and I'd also appreciate having a job after a maternity leave... those seem to be issues of equality. What we're talking about here seem to be an issue of romance. I would expect a man who asked me out to a.) pay for my meal and b.) maybe open a few doors for me. Do you think that because I want the right to vote I should forfeit my romantic desires?

I think you are confusing romantic desires with misogynistic practices of the 19th century. So if you don't pay or open doors to your male counterparts does that mean you aren't giving them their romantic desires?

Not trying to come of strong, but rather I'm genuinely interested in finding your train of thought on the matter to help me understand the logic.

all of them

I don't have strong feelings one way or the other on who should pay, when. What does cheese me if, however, is hearing about girls who offer to pay, but get all mad when he lets her pay. YOU ARE MAKING US LOOK BAD. STOP IT!!!

After reading the conflicting responses from women, I'm starting to understand why men my age start to prefer dealing with prostitutes. You know from the start that you are getting a happy ending.

Are you flipping kidding?? I don't even know where to start.. If you can't handle ambiguity and individual differences, you're going to need a heavy dose of luck in life, is all I can say. As for expecting sex - at ALL, or as a right, because you maybe paid for some freaking garlic bread?? - absolutely, please do us and the prostitute a favour and give her your business.

Not all people handle the ambiguity well, hence why I said I'm start to understand. When I read an article about the time majority of men start, as in the first time they engage a prostitute is between 27-35. I assumed it had to do with them wanting younger women, but now I can see how rough it is for an average guy let a lone an socially awkward guy.

As far as expecting sex, I was pretty sure that is the End game of any male courting a female. If you are investing time, money, passion, romance, or garlic bread.

I'm sorry if I offended you in some manner, I was just entertained by diverse logics used by each response to the same question.

I appreciate the apology. Well, women (please don't say 'females' - really!) like sex as much as men do (not 'males' either! We're animals, it's true, but we humans have peculiar social and intellectual abilities that I think make us a little bit more). Imo the end game for both is having sex with a person you like, respect, can laugh with, and generally want to hang around. Isn't it? Sex is nice if it happens, but no one should just 'expect' it.

Otherwise, yes, if women are just seen as a kind of creature that just provides access to sex, irrespective of the actual quality of communication or connection, that really is a business transaction. Seeing women that way is pretty misogynist, I'm afraid.

The 'rules' of dating can be opaque, I guess, and probably depend on geographic area, values, education, political inclination, all that kind of stuff, more or less. Speaking for myself, if I get to the stage where a date's in question, I already have an idea that the guy probably shares my values. I have judged that from the sorts of things he's said so far, his style of dress, hobbies, the music he likes, etc ... yeah, there's some decoding that has to happen, I guess. It's very unlikely I'd date someone who'd call himself 'old-fashioned', for example.

If the diversity of preferences is overwhelming, my advice would be to approach each person as a unique individual, and take your cues from her. And maybe look for clues that she shares your values, to begin with. Women, men, people are different.

edit: also, people are rarely perfectly consistent, in anything, including gender identification, norms, etc. We often experience ourselves in different ways, depending on the context.

I think it's usually up to the guy- but the partner should offer (and be actually prepared) to pay.

I agree. I never go on an early date without having enough money on me to pay my way. The first date, I'll make a half-@$$'ed "fake" purse grab about 10 seconds after they deliver the tab, and then say "oh thank you so much!" and bat my eyelashes once he snatches it up.

If he doesn't, no second date. Who asks a girl out to dinner and then doesn't pay????

Honestly, do what feels right to you. If you're compatible, she'll be cool with it. If she has very different views from yours, you may not be right for each other.

My bf pays whenever he has the money. When he doesn't or when I ask him out, I pay. Sometimes when I pay, he'll pay for part or all of his. We go by who can better afford to pay at the time. He does always feel bad when I pay any part of it, since he believes in the guy always paying. I don't mind paying sometimes, but love that he'd prefer to always pay.

If a guy asks me out and we split the check, it wouldn't feel like a date and I'd get the impression it was a friend thing. I don't typically ask guys out, but if I did, I'd expect to pay and appreciate it if he did.

After reading the conflicting responses from women, I'm starting to understand why men my age start to prefer dealing with prostitutes. You know from the start that you are getting a happy ending.

I was raised to pay all the time which is fine if you got the same treatment from the lady, as in taking care of you. But like others echoed men are getting confused messages, you want equality on some things but not others, can't have your cake and eat it too. Women expecting you to pay 100% remind me of this story below.

http://www.themarysue.com/woman-used-match-com-for-free-dinners/

I expect equality in the work force, being able to vote, and I'd also appreciate having a job after a maternity leave... those seem to be issues of equality. What we're talking about here seem to be an issue of romance. I would expect a man who asked me out to a.) pay for my meal and b.) maybe open a few doors for me. Do you think that because I want the right to vote I should forfeit my romantic desires?

I think you are confusing romantic desires with misogynistic practices of the 19th century. So if you don't pay or open doors to your male counterparts does that mean you aren't giving them their romantic desires?

Not trying to come of strong, but rather I'm genuinely interested in finding your train of thought on the matter to help me understand the logic.

No, I"m pretty certain about my romantic desires. I like voting and cowboys, but that's just me. I can't speak for every woman

I skipped many of the replies on here, it is just most of the same responses over and over and over.

I have never really appreciated the "male chivalry" thing. Where every man has to prove they are worthy of dating by picking up the bills. If a girl cares so much about who pays for dinner, then she isn't worth investing time into. I always assumed males paid for dinner because they wanted to give off an impression of financial security, which would increase the males chances of having relations with the woman. It is all bullcrap...

If they enjoy spending time with each other, nobody should let something like the price of dinner come between them. If you don't have the funds to continually pay for 100% of the dates, then say so. If she cares about spending time with you, she wont care.

I think as soon as people stop being superficial, that topics like this will vanish.

Paying for 100% of a date is NOT chivalry.

Some good points here.