My Fiance doesn't "Fancy" me anymore!? :-(

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  • woodml1
    woodml1 Posts: 199 Member
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    The fact that you're getting ready to be married which is, arguably, the most romantic and exciting time in your life together and you felt the need to put the word love in quotes speaks volumes to me. Being engaged should make you want to write LOVE in all capital letters all the time. With an exclamaition point at the end!

    I was in a realtionship for 5 years. 6 months after we were married, my ex told me he wanted a divorce and, upon further prodding, told me he wasn't sure if he loved me the day we got married. I did love him, very much. Trust me on this - if you think it's not going to last end it now.
  • Arazante
    Arazante Posts: 12
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    Your Fiance can stick it up his *kitten*, as far as I'm concerned.

    There is one thing to "let yourself go" by just being lazy and not doing anything. You were studying, you had more important things to focus on at the time.

    Whether or not you want to lose weight again is YOUR choice- don't ever do it for anyone else other than yourself and your own reasons because it's YOUR body.

    People who order you about and what to do with your body like that are controlling. Listen to what other people here are saying, that he will later find another reason to criticize you, that he is insensitive and clearly unapologetic about hurting your feelings (feelings come before pure vanity), and he is being completely juvenile about his contact with you, offering no real explanation short of his original ****ish insult. Do you really want to marry someone who communicates like this? It will not get better when you get married- these things always get WORSE.

    People fluctuate weight in their lives. You'd be a lucky person to have a steady weight all your life, and if he can't tolerate it now, what will he do as you age more and it's even harder to maintain a certain weight or something else comes into your life which causes weight gain again?

    I think you should re-analyze the relationship, tbh, although I know that's not appealing and it shouldn't seem like an entire relationship should fail because someone was an *kitten*- but there are an amazing amount of people who will let an entire relationship fall because their pride comes before their partner.. and I seriously suspect he is this type of arrogant fool (and he is arrogant.. most people project and his criticism likely stems from his own insecurities in himself).
  • bgelliott
    bgelliott Posts: 610 Member
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    Gosh, I have to just say, anything related to weight it so tough in a relationship. I don't blame you for being hurt but I also can't blame him for his words. He's honest instead of lying to you and that is worth something for sure.

    I'm sure he is not a bad person, afterall, you are planning to marry him. Sometimes women get even more offended by things that are said because they themselves feel insecure about it. This is no reason to be angry with him. Do your best to eat clean and get in a few days of exercise and just be honest with him and tell him that his comments hurt you and you are doing your best but you're stressed and tired.

    I would not end the relationship over this by all means unless he is flat out being hateful to you and truly trying to control you.

    Good Luck!
  • Sinnister78
    Sinnister78 Posts: 134 Member
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    I disagree completely with those who think he's somehow a good guy for being "honest".

    Telling her how he feels is one thing. But acting like a 2 year old who doesn't get a chocolate bar at the checkout counter is entirely another. Silent treatment, cold texts...etc. That's 100% immaturity.

    If you can't voice your concern or displeasure in a positive way that doesn't have your future wife posting on an internet message board about it...it doesn't bode well for the eventual marriage.

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