If you can't say anything nice, get thee to internet forums

awake4777 · April 2013

Gotta have tough skin to hang out around here. It is nice to be nice but remember, "PEOPLE ARE HUNGRY!!!". :flowerforyou:

BeachIron · April 2013

I just think people are just taking this site too seriously. Sure many people are here to track their calories for a variety of reasons, or to chat about nutrition, but it is still the internet and this isn't a conference on emotional support, or even science. This very thread is titled "Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games." If you really find your feelings getting hurt over something in this thread, perhaps it's just time to step back a bit and realize you're not going to actually solve anything by arguing about it here. To a large extent that is why so many amusing (or irritating, depending on your perspective) gifs are used. It just lightens the mood. You'd think about the fifth time someone posts a "Come At Me Bro" or similar gif in response to what you say, you'd realize this isn't serious. And frankly the difference between "bullying" here and real bullying is that you can always walk away here, or block the meanie.

So group hug and ****.

SanteMulberry · April 2013

I just think people are just taking this site too seriously. Sure many people are here to track their calories for a variety of reasons, or to chat about nutrition, but it is still the internet and this isn't a conference on emotional support, or even science. This very thread is titled "Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games." If you really find your feelings getting hurt over something in this thread, perhaps it's just time to step back a bit and realize you're not going to actually solve anything by arguing about it here. To a large extent that is why so many amusing (or irritating, depending on your perspective) gifs are used. It just lightens the mood. You'd think about the fifth time someone posts a "Come At Me Bro" or similar gif in response to what you say, you'd realize this isn't serious. And frankly the difference between "bullying" here and real bullying is that you can always walk away here, or block the meanie.

So group hug and ****.

and :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

jbutterflye · April 2013

I'm not sure where you've been this entire conversation, but people here have been saying there are rude bullies everywhere on this site. So yes, people are relating rudeness to bullying.

And yes, there IS something wrong with using the word "bully" to describe someone who is sarcastic, snarky, or flippant. A bully is someone who enjoys hurting other people.

No matter how sarcastic the responses here, they are not given with the intention to hurt someone.

I was talking about wanting muscles and gentle responses at the same time in this conversation.

If someone considers rudeness and sarcasm aggressive, then they would probably consider some of those people bullies. I believe you know your intentions when you are sarcastic, snarky, and flippant, but do you really know the intentions and motivations of others? Do you really believe that on an internet forum there are not people who enjoy hurting others? (What is the motivation when being sarcastic or flippant? It can often come across as contemptuous, which relationship experts actually qualify as one of the most toxic and harmful ways of communicating. When I'm tempted to be sarcastic, and I examine my motivations, they usually aren't awesome.)

Like I said, that's the awesome part about the ignore button. You can protect yourself from those you consider to be bullying, so the problem is easily solved. But again, I haven't seen anyone compare MFP rudeness to torture that makes someone want to kill herself, so I don't get as strong of an emotional reaction as you do when someone says "bully" here.

Some people have a cruel streak, which can be expressed in subtle and not so subtle ways. People who have been the victims of abuse are extra sensitive to further manifestations of cruelty. It's like having a sunburn...sometimes what's relatively mild to some is felt more strongly to others. Words do have impact, for most people. I can go a long time with a pretty thick skin, and then have that off day or two where I'm more affected. I still feel amazed at that quality some people have of actually enjoying the pain and suffering of others.

The ignore button is great, I just wish it would be more far reaching and block that person entirely, not just on the message boards.

jbutterflye · April 2013

Also, it's possible that what I am saying is going to be misunderstood. I am so used to interacting with people, person to person. So much of how I talk and communicate relies on body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. I am a very expressive person and act things out, and play all the "characters". Convey things with the movement of eyes and facial expressions. I'm not as good at internet communication.

I'm the same way. And I'm often misunderstood on the internets. Heh. :flowerforyou:

quirkytizzy · April 2013

I just think people are just taking this site too seriously. Sure many people are here to track their calories for a variety of reasons, or to chat about nutrition, but it is still the internet and this isn't a conference on emotional support, or even science. This very thread is titled "Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games." If you really find your feelings getting hurt over something in this thread, perhaps it's just time to step back a bit and realize you're not going to actually solve anything by arguing about it here. To a large extent that is why so many amusing (or irritating, depending on your perspective) gifs are used. It just lightens the mood. You'd think about the fifth time someone posts a "Come At Me Bro" or similar gif in response to what you say, you'd realize this isn't serious. And frankly the difference between "bullying" here and real bullying is that you can always walk away here, or block the meanie.

So group hug and ****.

Yes. I would find a gif but as you know, I'm all queasy from my dinner. But you hit it, bro. Right on.

NormInv · April 2013

bacon

NormInv · April 2013

ice cream

quirkytizzy · April 2013

Cheesecake and poptarts?

(I have no idea what we're doing. But it sounds fun.)

NormInv · April 2013

cotton candy wrapped in sausage

quirkytizzy · April 2013

cotton candy wrapped in sausage

Okay now you're just trying to make me yak up my dinner. Meanie! :sad:

sk_pirate · April 2013

You know? People just hop right in to this and don't read the rules. It clearly states not to bully. Since this site only has a few volunteers and "a few" administrators, its hard for them to catch the bullys. If we ALL would report the bullys, then we wouldn't have to listen to their cr-p anymore. Sorry that you had to hear from people like that. But the good outweighs the bad in that you will learn from some great people who really know what its like to go from fat to fit and more then willing to help you get there!
My hope is that this site will help more than hinder your journey, that you find some great weightloss friends and that you lose all the weight you are hoping to lose.:flowerforyou:

I get so angry when people use the word "bully" here.

Have you ever been bullied? Beaten to a bloody pulp while your classmates stand around laughing at you, throwing stuff at you? Ever been called a dog, given dog food as a present during the class Christmas exchange? Have you ever had strangers tell you to kill yourself?

Have you ever been afraid to walk down a certain street, path, hallway, because you know you're going to get a good sized rock thrown at your head? And that they'll chase you down afterwards to hold you down for more???

Have you ever been afraid to tell people about where the bruises are coming from because people will tell you to suck it up? Do you know how it feels to receive random notes, internet comments, that slitting your wrists would be a good way to rid the world of your ugly????

Because THAT'S bullying. It drives people to SUICIDE.

What is wrong with you that you would even THINK to compare what happens here to that?

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!! A thousand times!!!!

There's a huge difference between opinions flying about, harassment, and bullying.

toutmonpossible · April 2013

You started a thread complaining about a healthcare professional and decided that the internet would be a much better fountain of knowledge and would tell you he was WRONG WRONG and you could eat 2000 calories. Am I right?

If you don't feel like your doctor is listening to you, then get a second opinion...from another doctor.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

toutmonpossible · April 2013

Tough love on these boards... Tough love.

Actually, I've seen lots of simple, supportive responses in these threads and even more among MFP friends on the personal board. But if people assert things that are unreasonable or inaccurate they should and will be corrected. Not just for their own sake, but to help others.

It's ridiculous to come to a group of strangers on the web asking them to override the advice of medical professional who has examined the OP. A doctor whose advice sounded medically sound and responded to the help sought by the OP. If there's a problem, as someone else said, the answer is to seek a second medical opinion.

It never hurts to present oneself like an adult, not like an aging preteen who uses language like "cray-cray."

bregalad5 · April 2013

cotton candy wrapped in sausage

I was about to quote one of your other posts and tell you how much I

you, but not after this one... :sick:

laserfloyd · April 2013

And now ladies and gentlemen I shall end this thread in epic fashion by giving some excellent advice. For those without pants this advice is not necessary and you can just enjoy the song.

You know what they say? When life gives you potatoes you make potato salad.