Can a Fit, Sexy Girl Like a Fat Guy?

There's a difference in people who are overweight but still care about themselves and people who are overweight and just don't care.
I can understand not wanting to date someone who clearly has no interest in bettering themselves or living a good life.

No i wouldn't date a man who is 400lbs, rarely leaves the house and lives in sweat pants and sloppy t-shirts.

But a person can be overweight and still live a fairly active life and still care about themselves, they just make bad food choices.

It's completely false that everyone who is overweight is lazy and lives on the couch or in front of the computer.

I know when i was 240lbs, i still was outside everyday going to the park with my dogs, rollerblading, going out to the lake, hiking, camping, etc. I wasn't a bump on the couch, i just ate bad foods and too much of them.

This is absolutely true. I actually have a VERY active girlfriend who is overweight - probably the weight you started at and she does everything. She was my gym partner at work. She's more active than a lot of people in medically normal weight range, however in my experience, this is the exception not the norm. Most greatly overweight men I know don't and can't do a lot of things... they are out of breath taking the stairs, snow sports are out of the question. I don't even like slow walking lol - I get impatient if I can't speed walk. I am only speaking of those men I know personally who are lets say 50 pounds or more overweight. I know plenty of men who are under 50 pds overweight who are still very active.

That would be one disadvantage to dating a really out of shape guy. I wouldn't have anyone to work out with. But other things are still more important to me.

Absolutely those others things are more important but they are all important. I once was hit on by one of the most beautiful men I ever saw... and then he opened his mouth... and I wanted to cry. All he did was go on and on and ON about how many hours he spent in the gym and ON and on about himself. Complete turnoff. I couldn't stand listening to him anymore and had to leave.

So the qualities, intellect, character - everything is in play. I'm just saying honestly - if there's nothing physical there for me that is another deal breaker. The physical relationship while not being the top priority is still a priority for me to maintain a lifelong happy relationship. It must include being happy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Why settle for 2 out of 3 when you can have them all?

It's also possible some women find overweight men attractive physically because there are plenty of couples who are happy in that situation. I just wouldn't be... I don't think I'm shallow... just can't help what's attractive to me and what's not.

I will say that former obese women are more accepting of fat, obese men. Moreso than a woman who has been thin her entire life would likely be.

Now that's something I'll completely agree with. But I'll expand it to people who felt like a bit of an outcast, even if they were never obese. I'm a total dork, and damn proud of it, but in middle school and junior high, I was a scrawny nerd-girl with coke-bottle glasses. I never felt I was ugly, but I was unpopular and picked on a lot. I've always identified a lot more with a video game playing geek-boy than a jock or gym-rat.

And besides all that, my dad always had a big belly, and that never held him back from being insanely active, and never prevented him from being a great husband and father.

Yes. I am outside a lot. Play sports etc... I couldn't handle sitting inside all day every day in front of the tv or computer. Genetics and body dispositions play a large role as well. Goes back to the guys I knew in the army who were fat but could max out their PT tests. They were physically in better shape than most of us but just had a high amount of body fat on them.

I'm 6'5 330 I play football I'm active but I'm a bigger guy and a lot of woman find that repulsing

I've been called fit, sexy, pretty, etc. many times.

I've also been called ugly a few times.

Lovely how men have been trained that their judgement is so important that they have a right to tell you how they think you look.

But aside from that, I myself have been attracted to overweight men. I've also been in relationships with overweight men. However, it doesn't usually last long because our lifestyles clash, and I don't feel like I'm supported in creating a healthier me. It also seems to correlate with a smaller penis size, which I'm not a fan of honestly.

Different people are turned on by different things. Some people find me attractive, some do not. I find some people attractive, others I do not. That is all ok. What is not ok is when you try to project your ideals on someone in a negative/hurtful way, or out of a feeling of self-entitlement.

I myself, although I am considered fit my the majority, find myself leaning away from men that are in really good shape, especially those with 6-pack abs. I've dated a number of them, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them has this passive-aggressive, self-entitled attitude. They are either constantly talking about their bodies/what they eat, or passive aggressively hinting about how they want you to look, whether it be your body, your hairstyle, hair color, etc. I now feel like 6-pack abs = self entitled. I know I shouldn't judge everyone by those few, but just sharing a trend I see.

And honestly, I don't prefer super-ripped men. I like them thick, with nice legs and a nice butt. But again, that's just MY preference.

Duh...it's called "The Friend Zone"

haha:)

Bigger, yet active. Hello Seth Rogan!

Since we are on this topic, as an 18 years old teenager, I just want to ask: Are women more forgiving than men in terms of physical attraction?

Noted that I'm not trying to put down men. It's just that in my high school environment, I tend to hear more about guys commenting on girls' appearance, giving them scores, saying really (and I meant REALLY) nasty things and such. There is definitely a huge difference in the number of sexy girls dating average-looking guys than vice versa.

Is this... "life" in general or a phase of immaturity? Are men generally this prone to physical attraction like the guys in my school?

YES!
Here is a true story to back it up.... When I met my husband, I was skinny and fit (I went to the gym twice a day and hardly ate). He was very overweight, but I noticed his amazing eyes and awesome outgoing personality before I noticed his weight. We dated for two years and got married and his weight never bothered me as much as it bothered him. I never even knew his weight until he decided to get gastric bypass surgery while I was pregnant with our second baby. He was 415 lbs, and I loved him no matter what. He is now 6'3" 255 lbs and it wouldn't matter to me what his weight is. I am just happy that he is happier and more healthy. We are now doing the couch to 5K together and plan on running a marathon this spring. The point of this story is, unless someone is vain, they will look at you and not see your weight!

I searched in Google about healthy women finding heavy guys attractive and came across this message board. After reading all of these posts, it was your post that made me make an account just so I can ask you one question.

Do you have any sisters?

As an overweight guy I can tell you I have never had an issue getting attractive women and I would say its 90% confidence. I talk to all people as if they are normal human beings I don't see anyone as better or worse than anyone else until they prove to me they are. I would probably not date an overweight gal despite being obese myself and many would view this as shallow but quite honestly its only shallow if you would say/think "I wont be friends with you because you are fat". You cannot help what you are attracted to best example of this is one of my best looking male friends who also has a great personality is only attracted to fatties he does the typical male thing of commenting on hot gals etc but when it comes down to it he only ends up dating overweight gals because its what he ultimately sees as attractive which of course isnt socially acceptable so he is slightly conflicted about it. My fiance is about 100lbs and I am 320lbs, I know she is super super happy with being with me. I think overall girls have an easier time of overlooking physical appearance and are willing to give anyone a fair shake and would rather be with someone who treats them right than someone who is only good looking. And as we all know if someone has only been good looking their entire life their personality probably sucks as they have never needed to develop it.

Also for all you overweight guys that want a hot gal here is a big tip for you.. if a girl is super hot guys will never approach her because they don't think they have a chance so why bother. So if you walk up and talk to her she will be so thrilled that anyone wanted to start a conversation with her that's not a total ****head she will be totally into having a conversation.

Edit: One more thing I thought of after posting this is that while my fiance finds me attractive as have many women who know ME they still find the muscular type guy sexy.. keep in mind sexy and attractive are two different things. If I was to post an ad on Craiglist NSA section titled "Overweight guy with great personality looking for NSA sex" i doubt id get to many responses as someone who just wants sex is looking for sexy not attractive.

YES. My husband and I have had some rough patches along the way, one of which was because we needed help to get pregnant. I remember reading a book that talked about the idea that my husband didn't marry me based on whether or not I could have children - on whether or not my reproductive parts worked. There was more that went into the equation than that.

Just like being fat. That's not the only part other people (who are worth being around) see. Intelligence, confidence, generousity, kindness, sensitivity, having courage, being brave, the way you approach issues that arise - it all plays a part.

I won't date someone if I'm not physically attracted to them, no matter how great their personality is. My boyfriend has an amazing body that he works hard on and that's an attractive quality to me.

But some women like chub, just like some men like big women. Everyone has different preferences.

I know for a fact that it is possible for an overweight guy to date a woman who is physically fit. Of women I have dated over the years the vast majority have been very attractive (not just to me; which they were), physically fit, and very desirable to others.

I think the secret to heavier men attracting beautiful woman is a combination of things.

1.) Dress with confidence: I think the mistake that most guys my size is that they try to hide themselves in big baggy clothing that doesn’t appear attractive on anyone. I’m not saying wear skin tight clothing, nobody wins when we do that kind of thing, but wear clothes that actually fit. Over the years I found that when I go on a first date dressing more ‘business casual’ works best for me. I can wear a blazer or a jacket and it helps draw attention away from my stomach.

2.) Have something to say and listen to what she says: If you are just going to sit there and be silent then that is going to lead to the most awkward date in the world. Not to mention she is not going to find out either how funny you are, or at least think you are in your own mind. She is not going to enjoy herself; which I think is the key to getting the second date.

3.) Just be yourself: Don’t try to be somebody your not. If you are ‘nerdy guy’ its ok to be a ‘nerdy guy’. I know for a fact that I am a nerdy guy. I play the cello, I like science fiction movies, and I am a complete and total bibliophile ( It is rare that I don’t have some kind of book I am working on). Knowing this about myself I don’t hide the fact that I like to do these things. While I am try not to come off as the creepy guy living in his parents basement. I still own my nerdy identity. Humor is a great way to break the ice on a date, and I don’t generally mean self-deprecating humor. Just be relaxed and if yourself it will work out.

4.) Be confident in your place at the table: I think the mistake most guys make is that we try to figure out exactly why she said ‘yes’ when she could have said ‘no’. The fact is that she did say ‘yes’ just accept that you are in fact good enough, and stop over analyzing why she is there with you. If you just enjoy the moment things will work out much better for you.

5.) Finally don’t be a pushover: You matter and just because she is beautiful doesn’t mean she can walk all over you. Personally, that is the mistake that I think most of us bigger guys make is that we finally get the “hot girlfriend” and we are so excited that we don’t want to ruin it, and will allow her to get away with absolute murder. Trust me I went through this phase, and it took me awhile to finally figure it out. If I got one “hot girlfriend” I can most definitely get another. I think if you live by the words “…do onto others as you would have them do onto you”. You are more likely to enjoy dating, and hopefully find someone to be your ‘partner-in-crime’.

Oh and by the way for those who automatically assume overweight guys aren’t physically active. You can be overweight and still active. I am currently overweight, but go the gym like it’s a religion. I also recently ran a 5K. Sometimes things happen in life its how we deal with it that is important.

exactly what the fella above said, I'm not massive anymore, but confidence is key.

But never ever fake it. be happy with yourself because if you fake confidence, your faking who you are to the ladies.

I always think you should love yourself before you love another.

good luck my mate (Y)