pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...
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I never once said that she didn't love or adore her child(ren)!
You said:sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced
How does saying that someone is so wrapped up in their self image that they can't see their children NOT implying that? And FWIW, I think it's WAY worse to make remarks that disparage a woman's love for her child than it is to talk about their bodies.0 -
Wish I had your genes. You look great both preggers and not.
Sadly not all of us get to be so cute, lol. I sure wasn't. I had my babies very young too when I wasn't overweight.
I got so big, all over. Large arms, legs, face, enormous belly. And sadly my body was never the same especially my lower belly, even with youth on my side, my skin was never the same.
I agree with you though, we shouldn't let having babies be and excuse to let ourselves go! We still can control how we eat and move. I know I will never look like my pre-pregnancy body.
Reinventing myself now, I'm looking for a NEW BEST ME. :happy:
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i dont want to have three children. the idea of children outnumbering the parents freak me out.
LOL! Love it!
I had one kid. There's this issue here in the US called unemployment or too many people, not enough jobs. Be green.0 -
Jealous people can be so hateful and bitter. I'm amazed. You look great OP.
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It will treat every body differently. I didn't gain any stretch marks from mine but my sister-in-law got some massive tiger striping. My breasts haven't sagged but her pancaked. I'm glad your pregnancy didn't change your body too much but it will vary greatly from person to person.
i'm sure another person given my same situation would think they didn't fare all that well. the hyperemesis during pregnancy, needing back surgery, the hair loss, the now deflated boobies... definitely didn't make for an ideal pregnancy and post baby body. HOWEVER, i dont focus on these things. yes, genetics made it so i dont have loose skin. genetics also helped me not get any stretch marks. but genetics didn't keep my ab muscles from being stretched apart. i had to work my butt off to get them back to where they used to be. genetics also didn't help me lose weight either (i'm now 17 lbs under where i was prepregnancy). In fact, all the women in my family are overweight. I dont dwell on the negative and instead i focus on the positive... most of which was given from me to me. not courtesy of genetics.
OP, I think, and correct me if I am wrong, your intent was to say we have to work to get our bodies back after pregnancy, but that it can be done. In that regard I totally agree. I have lost all but 2 lbs of my pregnancy weight, and I never used pregnancy as an excuse to keep the weight on. Good for you for taking control of your health.
Please understand, though, for me it initially felt like a judgement on me because I just don't look that good in the belly area any more. It's hard to feel comfortable at the beach, having to hide my loose skin, and I am finally at a place in my life where I am gaining some comfort with my imperfections, and part of where that comes from is feeeling like I am part of a "sisterhood" with other mothers...that we all have these little imperfections and scars to deal with, and so we forgive them in eachother and see eachother's beauty.
Your intitial post, and your subsequent comments about people in your family who are not as slim, teach me that there are people in this world who do still judge me based on my appearance, and cannot forgive my imperfections, because they may interpret them as character flaws. That is why it made me, and possibly others, defensive. I hope I have misinterpreted.
I don't think our bodies are "ruined" - even those of us who have belly flaps and shredded stomachs, and boobs worthy of nicknaming :flowerforyou: Sorry if you are getting a bit roasted, that's how we roll in the MFP. Peace.
it wasn't a judgement on you because i dont know you! and i dont judge people on appearance at all. do others? most definitely. can i point them out? sorry, i can't (unless they point themselves out anyway). my take is that we should all be continually working on ourselves, always striving to be better. becoming a mom isn't 'game over'. The fact of the matter is, we are all being judged all the time. I get told that i dont look like 'a real mom' and friends have admitted to me that they refuse to do certain activities with me such as go to the beach. it's all just a heap of bull**** and i wish everyone in this world could stop assuming that everything everyone else does is somehow an attack. let's just breathe, relax, and take everything for what it is worth. i'm honestly failing to see how so many people are working themselves up over this. i see no drama anywhere (except by the one woman who said i prioritize my body over my daughter. what a nutcase, am i right? lol) and no reason for people to get upset.0 -
I'm almost 2 years post delivery with twins, 8lbs each too!You just lucky with the strech marks.You have to see my belly 4 years post delivery of twins.I dare you! :P0
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I congratulate you on your fitness success post-delivery. At the same time, not getting stretch marks has A LOT to do with genetics. More women get stretch marks than not. I'm not saying that you can't get back to a good, healthy weight after giving birth. But, women in search of "real" women's bodies after pregnancy should know that stretchmarks, c-sections, and a whole host of complications are very possible.0
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presonally, i always wished i knew that sometimes it did screw you up. just so that when it happened to me i was mentally prepared and knew it was within normal.The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.
you can't make an educated choice, you can't have informed consent, until you know all of the facts.
if a person's only reason for not having kids is fear of not looking so pretty after, are they really ready to have kids yet? is it really the best option to lie to them?
the reality is that pregnancy is a serious business. it can ruin your body and it can endanger your health, or even your life. there are things you can do to minimise the risks but there are no guarantees. yet, if you ask most mums, your kids are more than worth it.
I've always wondered about the logic of trying to convince women who say things like "I don't want to get fat" that they should have children. Like...why does that sound like a good idea? Does she strike you as a woman with priorities geared towards child rearing?
I've had this actual conversation with my sister, bless her silly soul.
"You would be a great mom Chelle, you should do it before you get too old." (I'm 25, btw.)
"I don't want to get fat."
"It's not FAT, it's a baby!"
"...K. I don't want to screw up my body."
"(insert five minute explanation of how it doesn't screw up your body and even if it does it's so so worth it.)"
"I spend 3 to 5 hours a day playing video games and I'm not prepared to have a kid interrupting my raid time with their need for food and love and crap."
"Well that's just SELFISH!"
Oh. That's the point where I seemed selfish? Not the other stuff? It isn't glaring obvious that I shouldn't be having kids? No? Alright then.
I was hearing this conversation in my head as I was reading it and I can't stop giggling. Hehehehehehe.0 -
Whoa! Why is everyone reaming the OP? Her post is accurate and inspiring.
+10 points for hot Mommies!
And did I miss the part where she mentioned stretch marks? Where did that even come from..0 -
...and I've seen plenty a person "give up" a lot sooner than pregnancy.0
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I apologise if the way i phrased something has been read into meaning something else and i never meant for it to cause offensive but that is a huge problem with the written word and other peoples interpretation of what you are actually saying, what i was trying to say is that it doesn;t matter what you body looks like it has produced something amazing and that should be the focus not what you look like after the matter!0
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Whoa! Why is everyone reaming the OP? Her post is accurate and inspiring.
+10 points for hot Mommies!
And did I miss the part where she mentioned stretch marks? Where did that even come from..
you and OP are my inspirations for after my pregnancy.. you all look amazing and i know it's possible to look my best
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It ruined my body and not because I let myself go, im under 8stone at 5ft5. My stomach has extra skin, my boobs are a bit saggy and im covered in stretch marks.
But I wouldn't go back to my old body without my girls for anything in the world. Small price to pay for two princesses.0 -
Continual improvement, reserving judgment, and not letting one's own needs/goals be laid down as sacrifice to the altar of mommy martyrdom are all really, REALLY good points.it wasn't a judgement on you because i dont know you! and i dont judge people on appearance at all. do others? most definitely. can i point them out? sorry, i can't (unless they point themselves out anyway). my take is that we should all be continually working on ourselves, always striving to be better. becoming a mom isn't 'game over'. The fact of the matter is, we are all being judged all the time. I get told that i dont look like 'a real mom' and friends have admitted to me that they refuse to do certain activities with me such as go to the beach. it's all just a heap of bull**** and i wish everyone in this world could stop assuming that everything everyone else does is somehow an attack. let's just breathe, relax, and take everything for what it is worth. i'm honestly failing to see how so many people are working themselves up over this. i see no drama anywhere (except by the one woman who said i prioritize my body over my daughter. what a nutcase, am i right? lol) and no reason for people to get upset.
The hair-pulling is from two things. You seem less sensitive than most people, and your audience can be super-sensitive. Drama is inevitable.0 -
Whoa! Why is everyone reaming the OP? Her post is accurate and inspiring.
+10 points for hot Mommies!
And did I miss the part where she mentioned stretch marks? Where did that even come from..
you and OP are my inspirations for after my pregnancy.. you all look amazing and i know it's possible to look my best
D'awee I wuv you. I think we should start another Hot Mommies thread. I tried digging the old one up but couldn't find it.0 -
I'm back to my prepregnancy weight just 15weeks after having my baby. I've worked hard and I feel strong and fit. I look no too bad with my clothes on but believe me I wont ever, EVER be wearing a bikini again after 2 children .
The horrendous strtch marks and weird shaped belly were cause by my first pregnancy where I retained a lot of fluid. I actually put on MORE weight second time round but got no extra stretch marks.
I'm at peace with my wrinkly belly now. Hopefully I will lose another stone or so and I'll look great in nice dresses- so long as I have some spanx on!
Its all down to luck, ie. genetics.0 -
i based it off of many people in my family along with many friends. i hate it when i see people call themselves fat or talk bad about their bodies and not do anything about it. i hate it more when said person is a mother and there are children around who can hear them. i grew up with a mom who always called herself 'fat' and 'gross'. when i would try to help her (even as a teen) by making dinner that is low cal and showing her how good it was, she took the, 'i'll just stick with what i'm doing' approach. i see this A LOT. it is annoying.
I don't agree with the original post. I do want to say this about this post: Really, what does it matter what they are doing/ not doing that annoys you so bad. Let go you can't help them all, and also you may come off in the wrong way if you ever express thisin any way.0 -
Angry moms make the best mobs.
Join MADD or something. Do something productive with all that energy.0 -
Whoa! Why is everyone reaming the OP? Her post is accurate and inspiring.
+10 points for hot Mommies!
And did I miss the part where she mentioned stretch marks? Where did that even come from..
She didn't that I know of. But, she did say that pregnancy doesn't ruin your body. I will be the first to admit that I hate my stretch marks. Oh, and I forgot to mention the boob thing. Boobs are rarely the same afterward either. I am toned, fit, and can run for miles. But, the stretch marks are here to stay. Yes, I used the best of creams blah, blah, blah. They didn't work. All that said, would I go back and NOT have my son? Hell no. The remarks about stretch marks and scars came from the OP's declaration that pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body. Regardless, OP looks GREAT!!! 0 -
Angry moms make the best mobs.
Join MADD or something. Do something productive with all that energy.
FFS. This is what I came to post. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.0 -
I can understand how many who are already moms might find this post flippant or depressing, but as someone who doesn't have kids and is terrified of pregnancy and labor...
I LOVE this post. Thanks to the OP for the inspiration and encouragement. I want kids someday, but am honestly to scared of how my body might look afterwards. I know genes play a role, but I also see a lot of hard work that the OP undertook when I look at the after pictures. I may not come out looking as perfect as that, but I know I'll have SOME control - maybe more than I think - in my post-baby body.
thanks again,OP0 -
I'm almost 2 years post delivery with twins, 8lbs each too!You just lucky with the strech marks.You have to see my belly 4 years post delivery of twins.I dare you! :P
Mine was 3.3 each delivered in 7th month. So you understand! About strech marks i think we must love them cause will be the only mak on our body through the years that will stay there. Am trying to tighten the loose skin.My genetics arent so good
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I'm going to keep my mouth closed so I don't get a strike. :grumble:
me too
Me three!!
Me four
I'll take 5!!0 -
Angry moms make the best mobs.
Join MADD or something. Do something productive with all that energy.
FFS. This is what I came to post. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH ROOM IN HERE!0 -
I can understand how many who are already moms might find this post flippant or depressing, but as someone who doesn't have kids and is terrified of pregnancy and labor...
I LOVE this post. Thanks to the OP for the inspiration and encouragement. I want kids someday, but am honestly to scared of how my body might look afterwards. I know genes play a role, but I also see a lot of hard work that the OP undertook when I look at the after pictures. I may not come out looking as perfect as that, but I know I'll have SOME control - maybe more than I think - in my post-baby body.
thanks again,OP
you are welcome! i personally know I would have benefitted from seeing such a post before getting pregnant or even while i was pregnant. A lot of stress and worry would have been avoided.0 -
Jealous people can be so hateful and bitter. I'm amazed. You look great OP.
So this. People can make so many excuses and take it out on people who don't deserve it. You look amazing and are an inspiration. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family and child.
Mom who is fat and blames the baby for it years later? Or Mom who works hard and has more energy to play? You decide. :happy:0 -
...and it shouldn't be an excuse to let yourself go.
When I got pregnant, I searched the internet, hoping to come across post baby belly pictures. No one continues to take photos of their belly after the baby is out! I desperately wanted to know what to expect and was terrified of what pregnancy would do to my body . I'm here to tell you that it doesn't ruin your body and you will bounce back quickly.
That should read 'it MAY not ruin your body and you MAY bounce back quickly'.
I didn't gain weight with pregnancy, I weighed the same at the end as I did at the start and moisturised, kept active etc, I still got stretch marks from down below to wayyyy above my belly button, inch wide ones, nice. I also got left with overhang from my c-section and separated muscles.
You were lucky and no it's not an excuse to let yourself go but some of us are less lucky.0 -
Had the kid.. gained 80+ lbs while pregnant... worked my A%^ off (quite literally too) to get to where I am now.
I have stretch marks- LOTS of them. I still have some work to do/am not quite as tight/firm as I'd like to be... do I think my body is ruined because of some flub or stretch marks? HELL no.
I'm not sure what side of the bed some of you rolled out of, but dang! OP's post is inspiring and encouraging- not some insulting or discriminating thing. Gahhh...0 -
Ok so you look amazing after having kids but please please tell me that you pee a little when you sneeze, cough, or do jumping jacks:) That would make me feel 1000 times better about your lack of stretch marks and belly pooch LOL!!
My pregnancies did not "ruin" my body but certainly changed it. But I would not trade my post baby body for my pre baby body because my two little angels are totally worth it!!0 -
Angry moms make the best mobs.
Join MADD or something. Do something productive with all that energy.
FFS. This is what I came to post. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH ROOM IN HERE!
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