pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

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Replies

  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    People have children for selfish reasons, why shouldn't people be allowed to NOT have children for selfish reasons? I don't judge anyone for not wanting children. Period.

    Agreed. So surprised at the judgment.. if anything, more power to the people who can admit for selfish or unselfish reasons that they do not wish to procreate..
  • ahappydancer
    ahappydancer Posts: 34 Member
    I said that not wanting to get fatter and try to lose the weight after was ONE of the reasons. I'm sure your child is wonderful-I love children-but I have a lot of other reasons, too.


    your choice i saposs i have a tilted womb and they said it could make it hard for me to get pregnant i saposs thats why i cant understand people not wanting kids unless of course its for reason like they cant look after them ect they cant provide for them
    I understand your defensiveness. My mom had HELLP syndrome with me and we both nearly died. When I told her that I wanted to remain childfree, she thought I was putting down her decision to start a family. I wasn't mocking anyone's decision, just stating one of my reasons.
    I applaud anyone who has kids and was able to lose the weight quickly. It takes strength that I'm saying I don't have.
  • sdalhall
    sdalhall Posts: 160 Member
    Well, all I have to say is that my twins did ruin my belly. They destroyed it. Stretch marks deep enough to drive a car through, handfuls of sagging skin, and a muscle separation 5 years post-partum that the doctor called "worst-case scenario." Was I as careful as I should have been about what I ate? Probably not, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I have given birth to 4 healthy children who weighed a total of 30+ pounds and have gained and lost more than a normal-sized adult. I wouldn't consider my body ruined, but it's definitely not what it was when I was 27 (before my first child). I have worked hard and gotten back to pre-baby weight and am more fit than I ever have been. The stomach damage requires surgery to repair. I'm not going to feel guilty about that either.
  • sarahz1442
    sarahz1442 Posts: 136 Member
    People have children for selfish reasons, why shouldn't people be allowed to NOT have children for selfish reasons? I don't judge anyone for not wanting children. Period.

    this.

    Not sure why people are so offended by her reason not to have kids. Her reason sounds perfectly fine to me. She really doesn't need a good reason NOT to have them as others have stated. Way too many people have kids and then make crappy parents. Having sex and then pushing a baby out of a vagina isn't some big accomplishment that needs to be praised.

    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    People have children for selfish reasons, why shouldn't people be allowed to NOT have children for selfish reasons? I don't judge anyone for not wanting children. Period.

    this.

    Not sure why people are so offended by her reason not to have kids. Her reason sounds perfectly fine to me. She really doesn't need a good reason NOT to have them as others have stated. Way too many people have kids and then make crappy parents. Having sex and then pushing a baby out of a vagina isn't some big accomplishment that needs to be praised.

    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.

    *nods*
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.
    my irritation is, in a large part, the assumption that it's only about weight.

    i'm slim & toned. that doesn't fix all my problems.
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
    Wow!
  • sarahz1442
    sarahz1442 Posts: 136 Member
    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.
    my irritation is, in a large part, the assumption that it's only about weight.

    i'm slim & toned. that doesn't fix all my problems.

    well, yeah sure. I'm also slim now, not really toned. Being an ideal weight does not cure unhappiness though.
  • ahappydancer
    ahappydancer Posts: 34 Member
    People have children for selfish reasons, why shouldn't people be allowed to NOT have children for selfish reasons? I don't judge anyone for not wanting children. Period.

    this.

    Not sure why people are so offended by her reason not to have kids. Her reason sounds perfectly fine to me. She really doesn't need a good reason NOT to have them as others have stated. Way too many people have kids and then make crappy parents. Having sex and then pushing a baby out of a vagina isn't some big accomplishment that needs to be praised.

    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.
    Some people think that if you choose not to have kids, you think that having kids is dumb and they're dumb for having kids. I had a friend who is pregnant who got upset when I told her I didn't want them, and neither does my partner. I've also had people tell me that its clearly my partner's idea-I love children and want to be a child psychologist. Nope, its my idea. One of those told me I should just get pregnant without my partner's consent. lol, if I can't form an opinion on having them on my own, I doubt I have the brains to get pregnant without him knowing. I've had people call me selfish. I've had friends ask me who is going to take care of me and my partner when we get older, and that's a selfish reason to have kids if I've ever heard one.
    /endthreadjacking
    Edit: If anyone cares, people who choose not to have kids are called 'childfree', not 'childless'. 'Childless' makes it sound like we're berefit, and if someone chooses not to do something, they aren't suffering.
  • Mamahana82
    Mamahana82 Posts: 64
    Honestly, I think OP meant well, but she was targeting a specific group of people and not accounting for factors she hasn't had firsthand or even secondhand experience with. Probably should have just sent this as an email to those family members she had in mind when she wrote it. I do GET that she meant to empower people that it isn't a foregone conclusion: the idea your body is a lost cause after giving birth. I just don't think she really thought it through. And some people have a hard time admitting where they committed an oversight, no matter the magnitude.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    I lost the baby weight fairly quickly for having 2 babies in less than 2 years, but my body didn't realize it until recently :tongue:
  • Mamahana82
    Mamahana82 Posts: 64
    Yeah, that doesn't go away when you have a kid. I am one and done and get the same deal. Some think I think having more than one is dumb and have to counter it by saying I am selfish and my son will suffer not having a sibling. It's like one of those "you are either WITH us or AGAINST us" or perhaps you just aren't as strong a person as they are. Shrug. Whatchagonnado. Haters gonna hate.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    hey, no fair !! you are one of those people who stay skinny whole pregnancy, then have serious elastic skin to shrink back to normal..it does ruin a lot bodies, but some of us just arent lucky enough to have the good genes:sad: the reason i let myself go was not because of pregnancy..it was because i was suddenly mom and dad while my hubby was in the army, and i had a 2 and 3 year old, sitting at home all day not doing much of much..some years later tho, i decided to start here, and with many ups and downs, im getting back to where i need to be..if we let ourselves go, getting back to normal should count for something
  • You have great genes. Pregnancy did not ruin my body but it caused me to gain weight and never be able to go back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Now 8 years later I want another one but don't want to weigh two hundred lbs after baby. I'm trying like hell to lose weight before getting pregnant and it is torture. I can only imagine if I gained another 40lbs like I did with my first kid.
  • SocialRopes
    SocialRopes Posts: 51 Member
    op, i'm so glad to hear that your body wasn't ruined. mine was shot to **** -- having quadruplets and vertical c-section tends to do that to some people. all i can do is embrace my good fortune and learn to love tankinis.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.
    my irritation is, in a large part, the assumption that it's only about weight.

    i'm slim & toned. that doesn't fix all my problems.

    well, yeah sure. I'm also slim now, not really toned. Being an ideal weight does not cure unhappiness though.
    or the effects of pregnancy and birth on my body.

    it's the ease of O i miss the most.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    It totally depends on your skin type. The OP seems to have been blessed in that department, but to imply that people who don't bounce back only have themselves to blame is more than ludicrous, it's unfair. I was very slim before I had my two boys, but two large babies (8.5lbs and just under 10lbs) in the belly of a redhead with pale/ sensitive/ thin skin in under two years has done untold damage. My boys are 16 and 18 now and I still have stretch marks up to my belly button and down to my thighs. Yes, they've faded but it sure as hell wasn't my fault I got them - I was fit, rubbing my belly with all kinds of creams and didn't put a ridiculous amount of weight on either.
  • julekinz
    julekinz Posts: 80 Member
    Like.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    Late to the party as well, but I'm going to second the middle-finger poster above. Seems this was little more than a backwards excuse to post the oh-my-god-i'm-great pics (yay?), and while I'm happy for you (and I'm a let you finish), it's just petty. And pointless.

    HAHAHA well said!
  • 37434958
    37434958 Posts: 457 Member
    =) Like other people said.
  • faiora
    faiora Posts: 6 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    hey, no fair !! you are one of those people who stay skinny whole pregnancy, then have serious elastic skin to shrink back to normal..it does ruin a lot bodies, but some of us just arent lucky enough to have the good genes:sad: the reason i let myself go was not because of pregnancy..it was because i was suddenly mom and dad while my hubby was in the army, and i had a 2 and 3 year old, sitting at home all day not doing much of much..some years later tho, i decided to start here, and with many ups and downs, im getting back to where i need to be..if we let ourselves go, getting back to normal should count for something

    I didn't even look at her pics but now I have and yeah.. don't we all wish we could be perfect?

    Anyway, I applaud you and anyone else here who is here trying to be better for themselves and their families.. only person whose judgment about your body that matters is your own and you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone. And certainly not some stranger online who thinks everyone has the same genetics as her..
  • aimforhealthy
    aimforhealthy Posts: 449 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.

    2hehhn6.gif
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.
    again, the assumption that the only issues are weight gain and weight gain. ignorance.

    it's not possible for a hell of a lot of people to avoid what they may feel is the ruining of their bodies.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.

    Be appalled as much as you want cause a lot of people here certainly don't appreciate reading a presumptuous post from someone who was already thin to begin with, assuming that because they had children and gained weight means they let themselves go or that they are not genetically predisposed to sagging skin (which yes, affects the appearance of that six pack abs look). OP is fortunate, I congratulate her on her success but am disappointed at a post that could have been an empowering one that turned out to be downright insulting to those of us who are different from her. Just sayin'
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.

    See my post above. NOTHING would have prevented my stretch marks. I was not overweight before, during or after pregnancy. I did have a flat stomach before pregnancy. Still got stretch marks. NOT MY FAULT.
  • Rhiana1188
    Rhiana1188 Posts: 67 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.

    2hehhn6.gif


    :laugh:
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
    Hey, I had stretchmarks even BEFORE I got pregnant. Where's MY medal.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Wow -

    I'm appalled that so many people are saying "congrats on having good genetics" and suggesting this girl is just showing off something that comes naturally to her.

    This girl's body looks to me like the result of hard work and close attention, and it's ridiculous to say that she looks so good because it's "in her genetics." I know you want to feel better about yourselves, and even that positivity will help you move forward... but bashing people for looking good, or lessening someone else's hard work by suggesting they didn't have to work for it is unrealistic and downright offensive.

    Pregnancy does have legitimate effects on the body which cause weight gain, but that doesn't mean it can't be prevented, while maintaining the baby's health. Yes, it's hard, but your results reflect the amount of work you put in before, during, and after your pregnancy. I'm willing to bet most of you didn't have flat tummies before your pregnancy, and/or didn't work as hard as this girl to stay in shape during and after.

    Stop making excuses to make yourselves feel better.

    Edit: Let me reiterate, I am NOT saying you're letting yourself go just because you're pregnant... I'm saying, this girl probably put in EXTRA work and worked really hard. I don't think this should be expected of anyone, just that it's possible for anyone.

    See my post above. NOTHING would have prevented my stretch marks. I was not overweight before, during or after pregnancy. I did have a flat stomach before pregnancy. Still got stretch marks. NOT MY FAULT.
    or my split muscles. or the partial loss of sensation in my genitals.
  • nekoxvampyx
    nekoxvampyx Posts: 163
    yeah still no thanks. adoption for me.
This discussion has been closed.