Can you forgive a cheater?

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  • Momf3boys
    Momf3boys Posts: 1,637 Member
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    Nope...attempted to for the sake of my children but couldn't....his cheating *kitten* had to go...adios!
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    It depends on whether I asked her to cheat or not? Wasn't expecting that, were you?

    Well, it's not really cheating if you want her to do it. That's more of an open relationship sort of thing.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    Jesus, who was ridiculed, beaten, spit on, tortured, had nails put in his hands and feet, along with thorns on his head said on the cross: Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

    If he can forgive them, I can forgive a cheater. I'm just not going to be in relationship with them, that's all.
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
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    I couldn't forgive a cheater. Once the trust is gone, the relationship is over at that point.
  • Ninguneado73
    Ninguneado73 Posts: 832
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    I would not want to be forgiven..I don't I would deserve it..but I would be forgiving
  • TracyJo93
    TracyJo93 Posts: 197 Member
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    I'd be gone. I can't be with someone who I can't trust. Maybe that's me being insecure, but whatever. *shrugs*
  • BabyCerise
    BabyCerise Posts: 70 Member
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    No ! My ex was a cheater, what a motherf***** ! now I'm happy with my new boyfriend, but because of my ex I've got a lack of self-confidence, and, as a consequence, I don't trust my bf at 100% .... Nobody deserve a cheater !
  • smoootka
    smoootka Posts: 67 Member
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    Never. People do things drunk that they want to but don't dare sober. As we say here, a drunk always tells the truth. Cheat on me and you can't have that other person, you're a waste of my time and I deserve better.
  • anybeary
    anybeary Posts: 188 Member
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    Unless you've had the conversation with your partner where you both agree that you're exclusive with each other, it shouldn't be assumed that the other person doesn't have other partners. And if you haven't had that conversation, and the other person "cheated", well, that's on you for assuming it was an exclusive relationship.

    That being said, if you have had that conversation, and they still cheated, then it's OVER like Happy Days. That relationship has jumped the shark.
  • misstmarie1990
    misstmarie1990 Posts: 19
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    What a topic.
    Firstly, as many people have already said, each relationship, situation etc is different, so it's really an "each to their own" kind of thing.
    I've never cheated, but I was cheated on by my childrens father. Twice.
    "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
    Needless to say, I felt like an absolute fool.
    So from personal experience, never again would I ever take back a cheat.
  • silhouettes
    silhouettes Posts: 517 Member
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    I know from experience.. a close friend of mine that you can forgive them if you really love them but it is never forgotten and the trust is never completely earned back. It came come back, but there is always doubt.

    You have to REALLY love someone to be able to get past that, but it's possible.

    She told me it took them a good few years to be able NOT to bring it up everytime they argued, but they are getting there slowly and it gets easier with time as does everything.

    The thing that kept them going she said was that he wasn't like most men when they get caught. He didn't deny it and he didn't get mad whenever she brought it up, cried, wanted to talk or demanded to know where he was or checked his emails. I know most men would be out the door in a second if a girl did that to them, but he knew he did wrong and they really did love each other, so shrugs.. she's an inspiration to me!

    Oh and it helps to have good friends to talk to.. or so she told me.. glad I could help her, /cheers.

    As for worse if they are sober or drunk no clue.. the same I guess, I don't think you'd do something or someone if you realy didn't want to even if you were "drunk".
  • tonybalony01
    tonybalony01 Posts: 613 Member
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    I'm on the fence on this one, but I think it can be done.
    A few years ago, after a few drinks, I cheated on my beloved when I ate an entire Hershey milk chocolate bar. It wasn't just a little nibble or a single little piece. It was the entire bar.
    You see, dark chocolate and I have been in a pretty serious relationship for years, even before the recent fad of dark chocolate being better for you and full of anitoxidants and all that stuff.
    After much soul searching, a tearful apology and many acts of proof that I would never again go back to milk chocolate (I searched the entire house for milk chocolate and threw away everything I found...three times, just to be sure), my first love took me back.
    It does get a little awkward sometimes when the holidays or Valentine's Day come around and those Hershey's milk chocolate commercials come on. I know I've been forgiven, but I don't know if it will ever be completely forgotten - by either of us.
    We're still happy together and I have been faithful to my beloved dark chocolate ever since that one lapse of judgment.
    Hope you find an answer to your question.
  • bbl2013t
    bbl2013t Posts: 49 Member
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    yes, of course. they just wanted to have fun, i can't blame them for that, i have been cheated on and cheated many times, people make it into something huge when it is barely anything.
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
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    Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Cheating essentially breaks that trust and once it's gone, the relationship is over, it doesn't matter how much you still "love" each other. Without trust, a relationship is as good as dead.

    I can forgive if I'm cheated on but resuming the relationship is a different story altogether.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    I forgave. It almost killed me at the time..... really almost killed me & if I ever catch up with the woman I'll kill her easily. But yeah for a while it was hard, now 2 years later & things are better than ever.

    Guess it depends on how strong your relationship is.
  • WeightHacker
    WeightHacker Posts: 260 Member
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    I could forgive but I know once you forgive you truly have to let go and not bring that back up again because like you said the not trusting will cause a strain

    agreed
    also, it depends on how strong the relationship. and how badly both wants to make it better.
    if not id say take a hike.

    still forgiven and forgotten and letting it go.<3
  • DessyDemi
    DessyDemi Posts: 171 Member
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    No
  • selmafeki
    selmafeki Posts: 48 Member
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    hell no, never.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    Yes, life can be hectic with children, 2 jobs, bills, running a business. Sometimes when you finally have a chance to take a breath and look around....things aren't the same as they were. Can you just bail? Not without serious repercussions. Can you discuss and move on? Yes. Does it work? If you both want it to. Do you forget? Probably not.
  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
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    In terms of having the same level of trust that I require in a relationship, it wouldn't be the same. I don't condone any type of cheating, and I think that using "drunk" is an excuse.

    And no, I wouldn't forget.

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