Nice guys vs Bad boys

Hey girl.
Why don't I fix you a tasty bowl of granola while you tell me all about your day?
I love your stories about office politics.

Can't I have both???

don't get hung up on language.

'bad boy' because you like to drink and cause fights and break stuff end up in jail? call me names, disrespect me? disrespect your mama, your baby mama, your kids? blow off your job, your responsibilities? yeah, that's 'bad'. i'm not interetsed.

'bad boy' because you like to drink and party and swear and mix it up and don't give a fk? live your life the way you wanna and will tell anyone whatever you think straight up? as long as it doesn't involve punching ppl i think we're good there...

'bad' because you're a little sloppy? imperfect? rough around the edges? 'sokay. we're all that way, one way or another.

'bad' because you don't take care of yourself? irresponsible to the point of serious life detriment? don't give a fk about things that matter? get lost.

conversely:

'nice guy' because you're considerate of the feelings of youself, me, and others? i'm in.

'nice guy' because you're so totally in to me that you're always trying to win my approval with how good you are to me? always asking me if i like/don't like/what i want? always letting me choose? always putting me first? eh, get a life/personality of your own.

you're not interesting to me if you are all about me. you're not interesting to me if you're all about you, either. i need to see that you are confident enough to be into yourself (don't give a fk, tell it like it is attitude) and into others enough to show respect and consideration and these two positions should blend and flow with as little turbulence as possible.

The only "bad boy" that's ever done it for me is Dean Winchester, and he's a fictional character.

Dated bad, learned my lesson, married nice.

I think every guy has a little of both, but what shows is what you as a woman brings out in him.

I like nice guys in general and for the long haul. Bad boys only have a fleeting appeal. Kind of like how you men feel about sluts, I think.

I think every guy has a little of both, but what shows is what you as a woman brings out in him.

:flowerforyou: :drinker:

I like this!

Nice guys finish last. I promise. I know from about ~10 years+ of experience.

But - nice is who I am.. Can't change it. It sucks being brought up with proper morals and values :P

I think every guy has a little of both, but what shows is what you as a woman brings out in him.

:flowerforyou: :drinker:

I like this!

I 3rd this :flowerforyou:

I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!

head, meet desk.

What is a good guy and a bad boy? I date humans. They are diverse.

Just about every guy that I've ever met has told me that my experience is true.

Women tend to sleep with the bad boys and then complain about them to the nice guys that they don't sleep with.

I’m pretty sure everyone knows at least one Nice Guy. You know, those guys who think women only want to date *kitten* and just want be friends with the nice guys. These guys are plagued with what those of us who don’t suck call Nice Guy Syndrome.

Jeff Fecke of Shakesville.com explained Nice Guy Syndrome well here:


All right. Seriously. A Nice Guy® is a guy who tells you, in a bitter, resentful tone, that women don’t date “nice guys,” they only date “bad boys,” and because he’s “too nice,” women only view him as a friend.

Um… that doesn’t sound very nice.

One big thing I hate about Nice Guys is their implication that women who don’t want to date them, for whatever reason, are *****es, sluts, ugly, or whatever other nasty insult they can come up with. But the thing I hate most? The Friend Zone.

Even Superman is a Nice GuyThe Friend Zone is a bull****, misogynistic, make-believe land Nice Guys have come up with to demonize women for not wanting to date them. They use it as an excuse to ignore the fact that there are Actual Reasons behind their decision to not pursue a relationship or have sex with this guy. You know, like not being physically attracted to them. Or not being able to connect with them. Or seeing through their crap and realizing that the only reason these guys are even friends with them in the first place is so they can get laid.

It’s honestly one of the biggest loads of crap I’ve ever heard. Nice Guys are arrogant, egotistical, selfish douche bags who run around telling the world about how they’re the perfect boyfriend and they’re just so nice. But you know what? If these guys were genuinely nice, they wouldn’t be saying things like “the ***** stuck me in the friend zone because she only likes *kitten*.” Guess what? If she actually only liked *kitten*, then she would likely be super attracted to you because you are one.

Honestly. Is it really that unbearable to be friends with a person? Women don’t only exist to date or have sex with you. We are living, thinking creatures who maybe—just maybe—want to date and sex people we’re attracted to. And that doesn’t make any of us *****es. It makes us human.

Just Friends, the early beginnings of the Friend ZoneI feel like Nice Guy Syndrome and the existence of the Friend Zone really exploded in 2005 when the movie Just Friends came out. The main character, portrayed by Ryan Reynolds, was always just a friend to the love of his life… until, of course, the end, when she magically fell in love with him.

Movies like this are really kind of poisonous. It puts the idea into people’s heads that if they wait out the Friend Zone, the woman responsible for their distress will just wake up one day and realize they’re in love with them. And they’ll tell themselves (and everyone else) they deserve it, over and over again. But you know what? You don’t deserve the dirt on my shoe if you don’t treat me with respect. Actual respect, not the kind you feign in an attempt to get me into bed with you.

This is my message to all the Nice Guys out there: if you call a woman a *****, a slut, a skank, a *kitten*, ugly, whatever, because she doesn’t want you, you are not nice. If you’re only nice to a woman because you want to be with her, you are not nice. And if you whine about constantly being Friend Zoned, it’s probably because you are not nice. End of story.

Written by Alisse Desrosiers

So True!

I'll share my experience, which is by no means meant to be interpreted as the universal truth.

In high school, the majority of girls (e.g. 80-90%) went for the 'bad boys' (e.g. delinquents, playas/dawgs, or all-purpose dumb@$$es), but to be fair, you'd be hard-pressed to throw a stick in the air and not hit one! I was one of the few "nice guys" and of course was "friend-zoned" by all my female friends.
Fast-forward 10-20 years, most of these same girls are tired of all the 'bad boys' and want a 'nice guy', but many of the 'nice guys' have... ummm... (trying to keep it P.C.)... expanded their horizons and found that they were a valued commodity outside of the neighborhoods in which they grew up. Now these same girls who 'friend-zoned' the 'nice guys' back in the day are verbally bashing the 'nice guys' at every turn because the 'nice guys' didn't wait around for them and went out into the world got someone on their arm that doesn't look like the 'girls back home'! Oh well, you snooze, you lose!