Nice guys vs Bad boys

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Replies

  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!

    This. Girls have a bad habit of thinking they can "cure" certain guys of douchebaggery. It's a curse. :/
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I'll share my experience, which is by no means meant to be interpreted as the universal truth.

    In high school, the majority of girls (e.g. 80-90%) went for the 'bad boys' (e.g. delinquents, playas/dawgs, or all-purpose dumb@$$es), but to be fair, you'd be hard-pressed to throw a stick in the air and not hit one! I was one of the few "nice guys" and of course was "friend-zoned" by all my female friends.
    Fast-forward 10-20 years, most of these same girls are tired of all the 'bad boys' and want a 'nice guy', but many of the 'nice guys' have... ummm... (trying to keep it P.C.)... expanded their horizons and found that they were a valued commodity outside of the neighborhoods in which they grew up. Now these same girls who 'friend-zoned' the 'nice guys' back in the day are verbally bashing the 'nice guys' at every turn because the 'nice guys' didn't wait around for them and went out into the world got someone on their arm that doesn't look like the 'girls back home'! Oh well, you snooze, you lose!

    Well. That sounds about right if you turn the tables too... like I the uncool kids are happy and awesome now, and the "cool kids" are all like alcoholics.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!

    This. Girls have a bad habit of thinking they can "cure" certain guys of douchebaggery. It's a curse. :/

    I needs to find me some of these "fix it" girls :love: :laugh:
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    i only wanted bad boys at first, then i decided my heart had been stomped too many times by *kitten* who cheated on me. then i fell in love with a very intelligent man, who happened to be a nice guy.

    never going back! he even does the dishes, and cares about my feelings! keeper x a million..
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Consensus seems to be "bad boy with a heart of gold." He's a loner, a rebel, but treats his lady like a queen. Sounds to me like women want to feel special. A nice guy is nice to everyone, a bad boy just nice to her. The unpredictability must play into it as well - if he doesn't treat you like dirt every once in a while, than he must not mean it when he treats you right. Sigh.
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
    Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...

    BUT ALSO

    Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc

    So basically just read a good romance novel...they tend to have these strange hybrids of manly, nice men :laugh: :laugh: (Or you could come hang out with my husband :wink: )
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    I LOVE good guys - kind hearted, sweet, romantic, open & honest, loving, etc. I can't stand the bad boys, the BS, the constant guessing - too much drama for me.
  • ghhosstt
    ghhosstt Posts: 112
    SOME (not all) self-proclaimed "nice guys" are usually patsies who let themselves be walked all over, or are actually passive-aggressive jerks who play the victim card. In that regard nice guys might finish last, but it should really be "passive guys finish last".
    I prefer men who are assertive enough to know what they want, and confident enough to know who they are, but aren't going to be manipulative, controlling, or deceitful. I've been intrigued by the bad-boy persona when I was younger, but I've always preferred the goofy, endearing types. I like a good sense of humor, wanting to tame a bad boy just seems like a power struggle that would come with too much drama.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Question is: What does the woman you are after want? Women are very strange creatures and I'm assertive to a point. I'm not going to play games just to go out with them. If they want to date, we'll date. If they don't, their loss and I'll move on.

    Whatever you do, don't change for a woman and don't ask her to change for you. You are who you are! They should deal with it or GTFO.
  • SabrinaLC
    SabrinaLC Posts: 133 Member
    Can't I have both???

    oh yes. yes you can.

    Aww good! Thank you :-)
  • stitchtastic
    stitchtastic Posts: 182
    Bad boys can be nice too! :wink:
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    I love nice guys :)
  • stitchtastic
    stitchtastic Posts: 182
    I love nice bad boys! :wink:
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I have a thing for squares, but they can't be faking it. A lot of nice guys are not kind.
  • MamaCass30
    MamaCass30 Posts: 37 Member
    Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...

    BUT ALSO

    Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc

    This x's about a million!

    Nice guys are great as long as they're not so nice that they're asking "how high?" when I say "jump" As much as I may WANT to have a guy like that, they always end up boring me, I end up losing respect for them then it all goes down-hill from there.

    So, a nice bad boy is just perfect for me!
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
    Nice guys finish last. I promise. I know from about ~10 years+ of experience.

    But - nice is who I am.. Can't change it. It sucks being brought up with proper morals and values :P

    I'm with you on that one. It's also personal experience with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no push over, but I can definitely attest to the fact that being a nice guy/good man hasn't really worked out well for me most of the time. But this is who I am and I wouldn't change that for anyone. Yep, it certainly sucks to be brought up with proper morals and values!!!
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
    Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...

    BUT ALSO

    Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc


    This. A nice boy with a naughty side. :wink:
  • TheBaileyHunter
    TheBaileyHunter Posts: 641 Member
    Nice guys with a bad boy charm. Flirty, kinda naughty, but knows when & where...

    Just like a good woman. Time & place for all things.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    Nice guy, bad boy....*facepalm*

    It doesn't matter. I used to think that I had to be one or the other, and I tried so hard at both that I was alone the whole time. At some point I grew up and decided that I was just going to be who I was and try to figure out how to live whatever kind of life I had in a way that made me happy. It addition, I started getting out and meeting people. A lot of people. I put no assumed expectations on anyone, and didn't allow anyone to put any on me. Then one day, I met my wife and it all clicked into place.

    Moral of the story, just be yourself. Live the life you want to live, meet enough people, and you'll wind up finding someone you want to be with, who also wants to be with you. If it doesn't work the first time, rinse, and repeat.
  • kms1320
    kms1320 Posts: 599 Member
    Nice guys end up in the friend zone.
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
    Who cares, if you can make my inner slut come out Im all yours.

    Even if you end up with a broken heart? Or worse!!!
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    I think I have it right.
    I am a pretty nice guy....
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    Okay, I'll be a bit more specific. By bad boy I don't necessarily mean someone who's disrespectful or abusive, although those do fit the bill. I'm mostly referring to the player type guys. You know, those guys who are mostly good looking and very charming but are habitual heart breakers. Hope that's specific enough!

    Strictly as Friends Only for the Bad-Boys' Player sorts, seeing how they're too much like my male relatives who've hurt too many women over the years, most of which I'd seen ~ How they'd prep themselves ~ How they'd bait their targets ~ How they'd maneuver themselves in for "the subtle" collision ~ How out of sorts their women were and still are ~ Uh-uh!!

    Edited to add: That said, i confess that my exes all qualify as the Bad-Boys' Player types, women drop their knickers for variety, who'd all come off and generally carried themselves like Nice Boys.
  • dunadan
    dunadan Posts: 105 Member
    Well. That sounds about right if you turn the tables too... like I the uncool kids are happy and awesome now, and the "cool kids" are all like alcoholics.
    Dunno about the cool kids all being alcoholics (that disease knows know social boundaries), but this uncool, awkward high school nerd is very happy and most definitely awesome. :wink: Got myself an incredible, smoking-hot wife, the most awesome daughter in the world, so I like to think that at least in my case, nice guys don't finish last. :smile:

    We have friends whose marriages and relationships have had their share of drama, cheating, abuse, douche-baggery, and other Springer-esque qualities. Many times we feel like we are the calm in the middle of the storm as people's lives spin into and out of control around us. As we like to say it, "boring is good". :happy:
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Nice guys end up in the friend zone.

    I'm not a "nice" girl and I always end up in the friend zone... *pouts*
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    all those nice girls that are into bad boys can cry all they want.

    its us good boys that love the bad girls that truly get taken advantage of lol
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    A nice guy who's a bad boy in bed. :laugh:
  • hrod215
    hrod215 Posts: 163 Member
    I speak for just my self but I have realized after dating 'Bad Boys' that women don't generally know they are about to embark on a Bad Boy ride. Most bad boys tend to have more confidence, which is very attractive to women. A woman won't usually initiate a move and usually relies on a man to do so. And the chances of the bad boy making the first move, as opposed to the nice guy who is over-thinking his move waaaay too much are much higher. But once the woman finds out what the bad boy is all about, she'll go looking for that nice guy.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    Nice guy, bad boy....*facepalm*

    It doesn't matter. I used to think that I had to be one or the other, and I tried so hard at both that I was alone the whole time. At some point I grew up and decided that I was just going to be who I was and try to figure out how to live whatever kind of life I had in a way that made me happy. It addition, I started getting out and meeting people. A lot of people. I put no assumed expectations on anyone, and didn't allow anyone to put any on me. Then one day, I met my wife and it all clicked into place.

    Moral of the story, just be yourself. Live the life you want to live, meet enough people, and you'll wind up finding someone you want to be with, who also wants to be with you. If it doesn't work the first time, rinse, and repeat.

    I just absentmindedly and reactionarily thanked god twice that you were born.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Nice guys end up in the friend zone.

    Mine is littered with the remains of bad boys who don't know what hit them.