Nice guys vs Bad boys
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I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!
This. Girls have a bad habit of thinking they can "cure" certain guys of douchebaggery. It's a curse.
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I'll share my experience, which is by no means meant to be interpreted as the universal truth.
In high school, the majority of girls (e.g. 80-90%) went for the 'bad boys' (e.g. delinquents, playas/dawgs, or all-purpose dumb@$$es), but to be fair, you'd be hard-pressed to throw a stick in the air and not hit one! I was one of the few "nice guys" and of course was "friend-zoned" by all my female friends.
Fast-forward 10-20 years, most of these same girls are tired of all the 'bad boys' and want a 'nice guy', but many of the 'nice guys' have... ummm... (trying to keep it P.C.)... expanded their horizons and found that they were a valued commodity outside of the neighborhoods in which they grew up. Now these same girls who 'friend-zoned' the 'nice guys' back in the day are verbally bashing the 'nice guys' at every turn because the 'nice guys' didn't wait around for them and went out into the world got someone on their arm that doesn't look like the 'girls back home'! Oh well, you snooze, you lose!
Well. That sounds about right if you turn the tables too... like I the uncool kids are happy and awesome now, and the "cool kids" are all like alcoholics.0 -
I dated a "bad guy" for a few years. He treated me horribly, never had a job, used his family for money, etc etc. I was young when I dated him, and I guess I thought I could fix him. I wised up and left the jerk, and am now happily married to a man who treats me like a princess!
This. Girls have a bad habit of thinking they can "cure" certain guys of douchebaggery. It's a curse.
I needs to find me some of these "fix it" girls
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i only wanted bad boys at first, then i decided my heart had been stomped too many times by *kitten* who cheated on me. then i fell in love with a very intelligent man, who happened to be a nice guy.
never going back! he even does the dishes, and cares about my feelings! keeper x a million..0 -
Consensus seems to be "bad boy with a heart of gold." He's a loner, a rebel, but treats his lady like a queen. Sounds to me like women want to feel special. A nice guy is nice to everyone, a bad boy just nice to her. The unpredictability must play into it as well - if he doesn't treat you like dirt every once in a while, than he must not mean it when he treats you right. Sigh.0
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Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...
BUT ALSO
Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc
So basically just read a good romance novel...they tend to have these strange hybrids of manly, nice men :laugh: :laugh: (Or you could come hang out with my husband
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I LOVE good guys - kind hearted, sweet, romantic, open & honest, loving, etc. I can't stand the bad boys, the BS, the constant guessing - too much drama for me.0
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SOME (not all) self-proclaimed "nice guys" are usually patsies who let themselves be walked all over, or are actually passive-aggressive jerks who play the victim card. In that regard nice guys might finish last, but it should really be "passive guys finish last".
I prefer men who are assertive enough to know what they want, and confident enough to know who they are, but aren't going to be manipulative, controlling, or deceitful. I've been intrigued by the bad-boy persona when I was younger, but I've always preferred the goofy, endearing types. I like a good sense of humor, wanting to tame a bad boy just seems like a power struggle that would come with too much drama.0 -
Question is: What does the woman you are after want? Women are very strange creatures and I'm assertive to a point. I'm not going to play games just to go out with them. If they want to date, we'll date. If they don't, their loss and I'll move on.
Whatever you do, don't change for a woman and don't ask her to change for you. You are who you are! They should deal with it or GTFO.0 -
Can't I have both???
oh yes. yes you can.
Aww good! Thank you :-)0 -
Bad boys can be nice too! 0
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I love nice guys
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I love nice bad boys! 0
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I have a thing for squares, but they can't be faking it. A lot of nice guys are not kind.0
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Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...
BUT ALSO
Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc
This x's about a million!
Nice guys are great as long as they're not so nice that they're asking "how high?" when I say "jump" As much as I may WANT to have a guy like that, they always end up boring me, I end up losing respect for them then it all goes down-hill from there.
So, a nice bad boy is just perfect for me!0 -
Nice guys finish last. I promise. I know from about ~10 years+ of experience.
But - nice is who I am.. Can't change it. It sucks being brought up with proper morals and values :P
I'm with you on that one. It's also personal experience with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no push over, but I can definitely attest to the fact that being a nice guy/good man hasn't really worked out well for me most of the time. But this is who I am and I wouldn't change that for anyone. Yep, it certainly sucks to be brought up with proper morals and values!!!0 -
Nice guy to me = responsible, makes me feel beautiful and loved, occasionally spoils me, lets me feed him healthy food :laugh: , good friend etc...
BUT ALSO
Nice guy = somebody who is not a pushover, who can stand up to me, who doesn't let me run all over him, someone I can respect and trust. Someone with just enough "bad" in him to keep it interesting, manly, etc
This. A nice boy with a naughty side. 0 -
Nice guys with a bad boy charm. Flirty, kinda naughty, but knows when & where...
Just like a good woman. Time & place for all things.0 -
Nice guy, bad boy....*facepalm*
It doesn't matter. I used to think that I had to be one or the other, and I tried so hard at both that I was alone the whole time. At some point I grew up and decided that I was just going to be who I was and try to figure out how to live whatever kind of life I had in a way that made me happy. It addition, I started getting out and meeting people. A lot of people. I put no assumed expectations on anyone, and didn't allow anyone to put any on me. Then one day, I met my wife and it all clicked into place.
Moral of the story, just be yourself. Live the life you want to live, meet enough people, and you'll wind up finding someone you want to be with, who also wants to be with you. If it doesn't work the first time, rinse, and repeat.0 -
Nice guys end up in the friend zone.0
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Who cares, if you can make my inner slut come out Im all yours.
Even if you end up with a broken heart? Or worse!!!0 -
I think I have it right.
I am a pretty nice guy....0 -
Okay, I'll be a bit more specific. By bad boy I don't necessarily mean someone who's disrespectful or abusive, although those do fit the bill. I'm mostly referring to the player type guys. You know, those guys who are mostly good looking and very charming but are habitual heart breakers. Hope that's specific enough!
Strictly as Friends Only for the Bad-Boys' Player sorts, seeing how they're too much like my male relatives who've hurt too many women over the years, most of which I'd seen ~ How they'd prep themselves ~ How they'd bait their targets ~ How they'd maneuver themselves in for "the subtle" collision ~ How out of sorts their women were and still are ~ Uh-uh!!
Edited to add: That said, i confess that my exes all qualify as the Bad-Boys' Player types, women drop their knickers for variety, who'd all come off and generally carried themselves like Nice Boys.0 -
Dunno about the cool kids all being alcoholics (that disease knows know social boundaries), but this uncool, awkward high school nerd is very happy and most definitely awesome.Well. That sounds about right if you turn the tables too... like I the uncool kids are happy and awesome now, and the "cool kids" are all like alcoholics. Got myself an incredible, smoking-hot wife, the most awesome daughter in the world, so I like to think that at least in my case, nice guys don't finish last.
We have friends whose marriages and relationships have had their share of drama, cheating, abuse, douche-baggery, and other Springer-esque qualities. Many times we feel like we are the calm in the middle of the storm as people's lives spin into and out of control around us. As we like to say it, "boring is good". :happy:0 -
Nice guys end up in the friend zone.
I'm not a "nice" girl and I always end up in the friend zone... *pouts*0 -
all those nice girls that are into bad boys can cry all they want.
its us good boys that love the bad girls that truly get taken advantage of lol0 -
A nice guy who's a bad boy in bed. :laugh:0
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I speak for just my self but I have realized after dating 'Bad Boys' that women don't generally know they are about to embark on a Bad Boy ride. Most bad boys tend to have more confidence, which is very attractive to women. A woman won't usually initiate a move and usually relies on a man to do so. And the chances of the bad boy making the first move, as opposed to the nice guy who is over-thinking his move waaaay too much are much higher. But once the woman finds out what the bad boy is all about, she'll go looking for that nice guy.0
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Nice guy, bad boy....*facepalm*
It doesn't matter. I used to think that I had to be one or the other, and I tried so hard at both that I was alone the whole time. At some point I grew up and decided that I was just going to be who I was and try to figure out how to live whatever kind of life I had in a way that made me happy. It addition, I started getting out and meeting people. A lot of people. I put no assumed expectations on anyone, and didn't allow anyone to put any on me. Then one day, I met my wife and it all clicked into place.
Moral of the story, just be yourself. Live the life you want to live, meet enough people, and you'll wind up finding someone you want to be with, who also wants to be with you. If it doesn't work the first time, rinse, and repeat.
I just absentmindedly and reactionarily thanked god twice that you were born.0 -
Nice guys end up in the friend zone.
Mine is littered with the remains of bad boys who don't know what hit them.0
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