Cussing at/to Children

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  • GnomeLove
    GnomeLove Posts: 379
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    What is the point of having "cuss" words anyways? Who made these words taboo and what is the reason?

    You people are confusing "bad words" with abuse. Abuse is a WHOLE LOT MORE than just telling them to get their *kitten* in gear.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    But expecting all adults to never cuss around your kids at all simply because you don't tolerate it? That is moving toward unreasonable.

    That would depend where we were. If we're on a children's playground, I would expect adults to watch their language. If we're at a professional football game, meh, that would be unreasonable.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    1. You are a piece of *kitten*.
    2. Your parents should have aborted you.
    3. Good fecking job out there!
    4. Get your head out of your *kitten*, and pay attention.

    Context is important.


    It's not the words that matter, it is how they are used. I don't consider any words bad, and I tell my children that there are appropriate/inappropriate times when certain phrases/words can be used.

    ^^^^ totally this. You can wound someone with words, whether or not there are swearwords among those words does not really change this much. for example:

    a) you're a useless piece of s#!t, go and f***ing kill yourself

    b) you're a useless piece of trash, go and kill yourself

    Do the inclusion of the words s#!t and f***ing make the meaning so much worse?? No. If anything, the exclusion of the swearwords makes the whole thing sound that much more cold-blooded.

    this kind of thing is much worse when said by an adult to a child, because generally they don't have the life experience and insight to understand that the adult saying it to them is a nasty person with their own serious issues to feel the need to do that to a child, instead they're a lot more likely to internalise every word of it and believe it to be true.

    On the other hand, swearing in front of a child, or when talking to the child in an otherwise nice way, well it's not what I'd call ideal parenting, but it's not going to damage the child either. There's a lot of ground between ideal parenting and abuse, but many people think dichotomously and then things that are just sloppy parenting get labelled as abuse, and then the term abuse becomes meaningless.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1993-08-25/news/9308240307_1_lively-lessons-teacher-past-lessons

    A newspaper article in the Sun Sentinel, the biggest newspaper in southeastern Florida, about the history teacher I referred to. Read it and about his impact on his students. I wouldn't change a thing about the way he taught us. Swear words and all. I notice you haven't addressed my points so far, either.

    IMO, nothing you've described sounds like he was ever cussing AT students.

    While I think it's unneccessary, it's clear your teacher made a positive impression on you and many more. That's awesome news.

    I submit that he could have done so without swearing.
  • wwwdotcr
    wwwdotcr Posts: 128 Member
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    Kids by 3rd grade know how to cuss anyways. Unless they've been living under a rock, they will know how to swear from TV / friends/ what not. So I really don't care if I am cussing and there are kids around. Unless its a little K-1st grader. Before then they wouldn't even know what a cuss word is.
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
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    http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1993-08-25/news/9308240307_1_lively-lessons-teacher-past-lessons

    A newspaper article in the Sun Sentinel, the biggest newspaper in southeastern Florida, about the history teacher I referred to. Read it and about his impact on his students. I wouldn't change a thing about the way he taught us. Swear words and all. I notice you haven't addressed my points so far, either.

    IMO, nothing you've described sounds like he was ever cussing AT students.

    While I think it's unneccessary, it's clear your teacher made a positive impression on you and many more. That's awesome news.

    I submit that he could have done so without swearing.

    Swearing was part of his character, and his character was one of the things that made his lessons sink in. And no, he never cussed AT students, the closest he ever came to that was routinely calling students who were being problematic "A lousy son of a sea biscuit." But yes he cussed constantly.
  • GnomeLove
    GnomeLove Posts: 379
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    Kids by 3rd grade know how to cuss anyways. Unless they've been living under a rock, they will know how to swear from TV / friends/ what not. So I really don't care if I am cussing and there are kids around. Unless its a little K-1st grader. Before then they wouldn't even know what a cuss word is.

    Exactly. I started cursing as soon as I learned the words from friends around 3rd or 4th grade. I wouldn't do it around my parents, but I did it. The only reason I did it was because we all thought we were cool saying all these "bad" words back in grade school. If the words weren't thought of as bad to begin with...I would not have really cared. Society creates all these stupid issues for no reason.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    As a teacher, I am NOT allowed to speak like that to my students. It's off-limits for a reason. Speaking like that to a child is not okay.

    I question anyone who would defend that behavior.

    Exactly. I'm a teacher and I'd never swear at a pupil, or any child for that matter. I don't even like it when people tell children to shut up. I hate it when people swear in earshot of my own children.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and I do swear, but never around children.
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
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    I have a big potty mouth so my son does hear cuss words but I don't direct them toward him or call him any either. I think there's a big difference.
  • ILuvMoo
    ILuvMoo Posts: 41
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    There is a difference between saying "Oh *kitten*!" in front of a child because you walked into a door frame and telling a child/student his work is "*kitten*" or he "doesn't know shi!t."

    Not sure what your intentions were with the subject line, and if you were digging at that distinction or not. I would probably juxtapose the two ideas as cussing at/in front of children.

    Verbal abuse is verbal abuse. Sometimes it involves cussing, sometimes it does not. Cussing does not necessarily mean verbal abuse.

    ^^ SO MUCH THIS

    Cussing does not necessarily mean verbal abuse, and verbal abuse does not necessarily mean cussing. The message itself is WAY more important than the vocabulary used to get that message across. Words only have the power you give them, and it's very possible to give VERY NASTY power to words that aren't considered "cuss words".

    My kids are going to have parents that toss "cuss" words around casually in conversation, sometimes for emphasis, sometimes because they're descriptive. Overhearing us talk in this manner hasn't damaged my cats so far, so here's hoping the kids turn out all right :P
  • tzig00
    tzig00 Posts: 875 Member
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    I was at the park over the weekend, and heard a mother telling her children what to do if a stranger grabbed them. (The children were walking in front of the Mom, and she was yelling at them to "instruct" them- it was impossible to not hear what she said.)

    If someone were to grab them, the kids (3 children less than 10 years old) were told to yell out as loud as they could "Mother******- I don't know you!"

    Although I laughed at the absurdity of it- I was taken back at the way the Mom spoke around the kids. In that case- no I don't think it's verbal abuse. But- I also do not believe that is a healthy way to talk to young children, either.

    It would get your attention if a little kid were to speak in that manner, would it not? I would definitely teach my kids to say that if someone grabbed them. It's all about causing a rucus in that situation.
  • JaneDough_
    JaneDough_ Posts: 301 Member
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    While I don't care if people curse or not, I would hope a teacher is professional enough not to curse in the classroom. It's just etiquette. These are other people's children, not yours. Also, personally, I think it establishes some sort of respect right? If a teacher goes into a classroom and starts cursing like a sailor, doesn't this open the door for that teacher to be disrespected in some way? I guess I just grew up in a different kind of atmosphere where a teacher is seen as a friends, an authority and a role model. We had to knock on the door to enter the classroom and when the teacher walked in, everyone had to stand up. It's simply a sign of respect no? While yes, a teacher can be your friend, there should be that tiny barrier no that distinguishes a teacher from a student?
  • aStrongerSteph
    aStrongerSteph Posts: 161 Member
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    If you want to be "schooled" on proper parenting technique sometime, just take a stroll through Walmart and listen to the fine parenting a small portion of the patrons so kindly share with anyone within earshot! It's really sad that people think it's ok to bring kids up thinking that cussing is a normal way of communication. You have the right to parent anyway you'd like within safe guidelines but, how does that reflect on you?
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    :smile:
    ...
    Context is important.
    ...
    It's not the words that matter, it is how they are used. I don't consider any words bad, and I tell my children that there are appropriate/inappropriate times when certain phrases/words can be used.
    ^^THIS! Famous example, I think it was from George Carlin:
    • "During my doctor's appointment, the nurse pricked my finger." :smile: Acceptable :drinker:
    • "During my doctor's appointment, the nurse fingered my prick." :blushing: FCC hunts you down :mad:
  • gabiinacio
    gabiinacio Posts: 124 Member
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    I was at my daughters Kindergarten graduation a few days ago and one of the parents were trying to get a picture of her daughter, who was in the front of the class. As soon as the parent stood up, another parent loudly said "MOVE OUT THE WAY, WE CANT SEE" the mother just ignored her and kept trying to take the picture. (By no means was she in the way) Well another parent gets up and taps her on the shoulder and tells her she needs to go sit down. This women turned around and said "FCK YOU" and stormed off. The look on that womens face was like she had just seen a ghost. Funny thing is, I dont blame her. Even though we were in a school setting, and it may not have been the most apropriate time to use a swere word, I would have too. lol!
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Oh ****, I slip all the time. I don't curse AT my child, but definitely around him if I'm caught off guard (8 years of working with the military has stuck!). I usually get lectured afterward by said child. He's 9. Do I want other people cursing around my child. Hell no. :tongue: If someone curses AT my child, there will be consequences... I do consider it abusive and won't be filtering my response. I also HATE it when someone says shut up. (so disrespectful!)
  • gabiinacio
    gabiinacio Posts: 124 Member
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    :smile:
    ...
    Context is important.
    ...
    It's not the words that matter, it is how they are used. I don't consider any words bad, and I tell my children that there are appropriate/inappropriate times when certain phrases/words can be used.
    ^^THIS! Famous example, I think it was from George Carlin:
    • "During my doctor's appointment, the nurse pricked my finger." :smile: Acceptable :drinker:
    • "During my doctor's appointment, the nurse fingered my prick." :blushing: FCC hunts you down :mad:

    This made me bust out laughing just now. LMFAO!
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
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    Most of us are educated enough to choose another word to replace a curse word with. We have so many words at our disposal to use. :ohwell:
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1993-08-25/news/9308240307_1_lively-lessons-teacher-past-lessons
    A newspaper article in the Sun Sentinel, the biggest newspaper in southeastern Florida, about the history teacher I referred to. Read it and about his impact on his students. I wouldn't change a thing about the way he taught us. Swear words and all. I notice you haven't addressed my points so far, either.

    Sorry I didn't address this. It's been a busy thread, and I'm at work today.

    I don't care how great this teacher is/was; I wouldn't have liked him cussing that much in a classroom with my children present. Cussing has no business in a classroom, in my opinion.

    I also suggest, as someone else did, that he would have been a great teacher without those cuss words.
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    I think it's a load of crap it's verbal abuse. Are you kidding me? My husband and I swear like sailors in front of the kids, not so much AT them. I tell them to cut the crap/**** and stop being an *kitten*. The thing here, TEACH your kids what's right and appropriate for kids to say. They know the difference between anger and just talking.

    People have issues when they're the ones doing the crappy parenting and not properly teaching their children right from wrong IMO.

    ^^This. Trust me, the kids are gonna learn the words, whether from you or on the playground (unless you are paying top dollar at some private christian/catholic school).

    For teachers it is different. Those aren't their children, and they are suppose to be role models and inspirations/leader for those children.

    Major difference between teaching them/cussing AT them, and cussing in FRONT of them.

    It also depends on what age we are looking at here - there's a massive difference between 5 and 15.

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