Cussing at/to Children

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  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    That's not what her argument said. It was saying that it's NOT okay to do at home just because they hear it other places.

    I know. I was agreeing with her!
    Oh, ok. Sorry. It seemed like you misunderstood it, but apparently I misunderstood you. :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    i actually taught religion at one point, to 5th graders. they were public school kids that came for wednesday afternoon classes.
    i was 17, and i had to drop the f-bomb a couple of times to strike the fear of Me into them.

    You were a kid yourself. Still, if the pastor found out, you would have probably been told not to do it again or they would have assigned you another volunteer job there.
  • jrue1985
    jrue1985 Posts: 191 Member
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    I think it's a load of crap it's verbal abuse. Are you kidding me? My husband and I swear like sailors in front of the kids, not so much AT them. I tell them to cut the crap/**** and stop being an *kitten*. The thing here, TEACH your kids what's right and appropriate for kids to say. They know the difference between anger and just talking.

    People have issues when they're the ones doing the crappy parenting and not properly teaching their children right from wrong IMO.

    You say "stop being an *kitten*" to your child and think that is ok?! I think swearing around them is NOT abuse, but calling them a name (an *kitten*) IS definately verbal abuse! What the hell is wrong with people?! "Hey *child of mine*, stop being an *kitten*!!" Nice. Might as well say "*kitten*" or "*****", 'bout the same thing.
  • MaydayParadeGirl
    MaydayParadeGirl Posts: 190 Member
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    I read an article that suggest cussing at your child is a form of verbal abuse. I also work at a school that does not tolerate teachers and coaches who cuss in the classroom, on the playing fields or courts, or to our students.

    What are your thoughts? Is it a form of verbal abuse? Is it ever okay? Are coaches okay to do this, but not teachers?

    It's one thing to swear AROUND children it's another to swear AT them or to call them things. I mean I'm not looking right at my god daughter and dropping the f-bomb but if I forget she's around and I saw it? WHOOPS she hears worse in the stores on a daily bases anyway. We can't really sugar coat it, these kids are going to hear it. Like I'm sorry if I'm in walmart I'm not going to 'watch my mouth/' because some kid MIGHT be lurking around the corner. Get the **** over it, but if I SEE the kid, yeah I'm not going to swear. I don't think it's abuse to say 'curse' words in front of kids, they're going to learn it some day anyway.

    Also Agree with the people who are saying calling your kid a swear is wrong, my mum never looked in my face and told me I was an *kitten* or anything, it is wrong to do that....you could give them some kind of complex, not that I think *kitten* is a swear but you get the drift :D
  • dkgoetz
    dkgoetz Posts: 65 Member
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    Swearing at a child and swearing around a child are totally different. I don't think it's appropriate to yell at a child in order to belittle or humiliate in any way, whether swearing or not. Discpline can happen from effective communication. Dropping an occasional cuss word happens, for some people. I have a foul mouth, but I watch what I say around impressionable youth :]

    Kids do hear it everywhere, but I also think it's important to set a n example by NOT frequently using curse words in the home/school environment.

    However, sometimes I think it's ok to swear to get your point across, if it's not excessive, or completely directed at your kid to put him or her down. Example: my brother and I used to fight all the time. We just couldn't get along. My little sweet grandmother never swore or raised her voice at us. But one day while watching us, she couldn't take the fighting anymore. She got between us, and at the top of her voice said, "D*** it, I am tired of the two of you fighting!" We KNEW she meant business, because she NEVER spoke that way. I can't say whether it solved the problem entirely, but I can say we behaved whenever we were at her house from then on!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I think there's a big difference between swearing in front of a child and swearing AT them. I don't think either are appropriate but while the first can happen without meaning to (especially if you swear a lot and/or aren't around children very much) I can't stand people who swear directly at their children though - I can see how people could relate that to verbal abuse.

    I have come across a woman before that did the latter - referred to her girls as certain unpleasant names and swore at them, when they did something wrong for example. It wasn't nice to hear and I felt quite sorry for them having to be around that. I think if you're going to be like that, you can't really be surprised when they grow up to be really unpleasant kids who swear at you too!
  • neva4saken
    neva4saken Posts: 300 Member
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    i grew up around cursing and realized how ignorant i sounded as i got older doing it. (personal opinion) i began to realize that it's totally pointless in conversation, i would drop the F bomb for no reason and after a while ppl who are trying to carry a conversation would lose interest. Some do it to express themselves, some do because they want to, some do it because of environment they were molded in, it really doesnt serve a purpose, but there are alot of things we do that do not serve a purpose yet society has excepted them as normal. Since cursing carries a heavy negative impression i would never curse at my children, i do consider it a form of abuse and disservice, it in my opinion is a lack of respect when directly talking to someone. I will ask you not to curse while talking to me or we'll end the conversation. However if you do curse at your children you cannot get upset when they start doing it :grumble:
  • BleedsCoffee
    BleedsCoffee Posts: 247 Member
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    I don't have children, so I'm generally pretty slow to weigh in on topics pertaining to parenting, but this is one that I feel a bit strongly about. I find myself cringing when I see a parent swearing at their children in public and imagine that it's even worse at home. I don't think it's terribly good to swear around children either, but bad habits can be difficult to curb and the odd expletive certainly didn't cause me any major harm. That said, if you're swearing at children, your coping skills are severely deficient and you're teaching them that this is an okay way to treat other human beings - which it's not. So, don't swear at kids. People who swear at kids suck.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    they're words. you can be supportive and fun whilst swearing like a trooper, and you can be abusive and oppressive without ever using a rude word.

    as long as kids know what is and isn't appropriate language in a given social setting, i really don't care who swears.
  • Power_Man77
    Power_Man77 Posts: 207
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    My mother always told me that people who cuss all the time have a limited vocabulary.

    Cuss words are "power words" to children and once they hear them they want to use them all the time.

    No, never cuss at children.

    I don't curse at all. But I did let kids know what the words are. Being in school and all.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
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    Plus, I'm English and I don't think what we consider swearwords is the same as some respondents in this thread. I guess there's a lot of cultural assumption going on.

    Or that we might agree on one or two words, but Americans seem to consider a wider range of words as "cussing". Goddamn is one example that springs to mind. Almost no one in contemporary Britain would think you were swearing if you said that in public, but I'm sure there are people from across the pond who have earmarked that as taboo in this very thread ....

    I'm British too, and it seems to me that we swear more than the Yanks, however, they have a much higher rate of violent crime so, I know where I'd sooner be...

    Also, anyone who seriously says "f-bomb"?

    Plenty of reminders on this thread about why I hated school and had very little respect for most teachers - and I say this as the son of one. They just live on a completely different planet (this does not mean I did badly academically, but rather that it was mostly in spite of, rather than due to the morons at the front of the class).
  • Lauran845
    Lauran845 Posts: 71 Member
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    I tell my nephews cussingis for people who are too dumb to find better words to express themselves. I don't think it is abuse, unless done in a demeaning, abusive way, but is it necessary? I cuss, and I feel trashy most of the time when I do it.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I tell my nephews cussingis for people who are too dumb to find better words to express themselves.
    you're fibbing to them then.
    and you shouldn't lie to kids. that's far worse than swearing at them.

    example 1, stephen fry. one of the most erudite men on tv. swears.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I think it's a load of crap it's verbal abuse. Are you kidding me? My husband and I swear like sailors in front of the kids, not so much AT them. I tell them to cut the crap/**** and stop being an *kitten*. The thing here, TEACH your kids what's right and appropriate for kids to say. They know the difference between anger and just talking.

    People have issues when they're the ones doing the crappy parenting and not properly teaching their children right from wrong IMO.

    You say "stop being an *kitten*" to your child and think that is ok?! I think swearing around them is NOT abuse, but calling them a name (an *kitten*) IS definately verbal abuse! What the hell is wrong with people?! "Hey *child of mine*, stop being an *kitten*!!" Nice. Might as well say "*kitten*" or "*****", 'bout the same thing.

    *Slaps self in head for even engaging in this*

    I have to ask, do you have kids? Not talking about infant / toddlers. Kids. 10-17 age. I have told my son he being an *kitten* or acting like an *kitten*. You are not telling your kid "you are no good and will never amount to anything and are scum." You are expressing anger at their attitude or actions in a way that gets the point across. Telling them to cut the *kitten* or stop being an *kitten* does that. Especially if it comes from my wife who seldom swears.

    Not swearing at kids is OK too. Both ways can be accetable, if you are parenting correctly. Whether I drop an F-bomb occasionally because my son can quick scope so friggin' fast in Black Ops 2 and I simply CANNOT get a shot off. It isn't fair. He cheats. Little f#$ker.....where was I...oh, yeah....or if I tell him to stop being an *kitten* to his sister or tell one of his sisters to cut the *kitten* is not verbal abuse. It is my chosen method of expressing my anger at their actions.

    My kids are not verbally abused. Now physically....that is a different story.
  • boneheadeb
    boneheadeb Posts: 14 Member
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    Make a conscious effort to not swear for an entire day and you may realize how often you do so.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    It's unnecessary. I was a swim teacher for kids from 3 months all the way through competitive 12-16s, to elderly non-swimmers. At no point did I need to swear. If you need to curse to try and establish some kind of authority or respect, you're not in any position to do so.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
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    in for the slip ups......
  • Susie_Reed
    Susie_Reed Posts: 8 Member
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    There is a huge difference between verbally abusing someone and cussing in general. You can certainly verbally abuse a person and never curse even once (my father was really good at this) on the other hand, you can "cuss like a sailor" and not be the least bit abusive. It's all about context and intent
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    That depends. Does the kid deserve it? There are many situations that a kid responds best to being handled in such a manner.

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