How many dates should a guy pay for?

My dad once gave me very good advice. He said, "When you think you really like someone, take them out somewhere you consider expensive but that you are sure they will will really like. Encourage them to order the most costly items and if, for one moment, you feel resentful about it then they probably aren't the one for you".

If you are paying because you're expecting something back, or paying but resenting it - go find someone you really like, just for their company, money no object.

Though for this to work properly, you should already be past the "access to the sweet nectar" stage. Otherwise that screws with your priorities (pun intended)

I like the fella to pay and drive and generally treat me like a queen, however I did offer to pay (all those years ag)

Initially the first 4-6, then 50-50 then once married he should pay for all of them because I do all of the cooking, cleaning, washing etc and it should be a treat to thank me and give me the night off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of them... I'm worth it. :blushing:

yup

All of them... I'm worth it. :blushing:

Agreed!

All of them... I'm worth it. :blushing:

Agreed!

Totally. When I was dating my now-husband he paid for all the dates. Unless he was short on money or I had something specific that I wanted to do, or I was surprising him with a date. He made a lot more money than I did anyway, so he didn't mind and it worked out pretty well. Plus we knew within a month of dating that we were going to get married, so right from the get-go money was a very communal thing between us, he knew we'd share it all eventually, so we put in into practice early.

I would pay for all dates and I still do (even if the money comes out of the same account now).

you dont get something for nothing in this world, if a guy offered to buy me a drink i say yes but be warey , some think you just gave them the go ahead and owe them in kind .
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id always offer to buy the next round .. if it was a date id be the same and offer to pay my own way, but i wouldnt say no if he wanted to pay.. id just buy him a gift to say thank you.

it would actually put me right off if a guy asked me to pay half or expected me to pay for a whole date.. id walk and leave him the bill, its different if i offer... im old fashioned that way.

i dont think its right if she expects you to pay and just keeps making dates.. dont be a mug

When I was single, I always used to pull out my wallet and offer, but I would be very, very turned off if the guy actually let me pay.

I think the guy should pretty much always pay in the beginning. How do you know when the "beginning" is over? When, if someone asks if she's your girlfriend, you answer "yes" without being unsure, self-conscious or somewhat embarrassed or when you don't have to look at her to see what the appropriate answer is. (You know you know what I'm talking about!)

Now, obviously this isn't ALWAYS the case...for instance, if the two of you are doing something expensive (like going on a weekend trip or something), it's only fair for the chick to pay for at least a few things, or perhaps if the two of you have been going out like every single day. Otherwise, man up and pay. If you can't afford it, suggest cheaper dates (subtly).

What's interesting about this topic is that you can generally tell what kind of dating experiences people have had in the past based on how they answer this question.

Guys who have dated a lot of crappy, ungrateful women tend to feel like there is no point in treating a woman like she's special until she has proven that she is. The problem with that is that you're going to have a hard time convincing a good woman that you're a good man if you're walking around with a chip on your shoulder and treating her like she's no one important until she does something to prove her "worth." No woman with any amount of self-respect is going to put up with that, and then you're left with a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I also think your own relationship preferences are important. I am fully aware that I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I am perfectly comfortable being the woman and letting whatever man I am with be the man in the relationship. I believe in the concept of masculine and feminine energy, and that is what I prefer. I am attracted to confident, take-charge men who can make their own decisions and not feel like they have to be ruled by whatever is currently socially acceptable. "Equality" is for civil rights discussions. Acknowledging that we are not "equal" in a private, romantic relationship doesn't mean saying one of us is better or more important than the other; it's just kind of a fact that two people who are mentally, physically, and emotionally different are, by definition, not equal in a relationship that succeeds or fails based on your willingness and ability to support each other's mental, physical, and emotional needs.

I like when a man does the asking and the paying. I have more respect for him. I want to treat him differently. I want to make him feel like a man. If he asks me out and then looks at me when the check comes like he expects me to pay, then I feel like he just wants to be friends, and that's how I'm going to treat him. I do believe that if a woman asks a man out, she should be prepared to pay. It's just rude not to.

I asked my husband just now. He said he is old school - all of them! We have been married for 14 plus years and he still is a great guy , provider and father. Maybe I am old school but if I have to pay it takes something away from the date. Like I am just going out with one of my friends. Not where you want to be right?

I know it is a new age and I am getting old but well that is how I feel. Good luck on your dates.

Until you're married, , , all of them!

What's interesting about this topic is that you can generally tell what kind of dating experiences people have had in the past based on how they answer this question.

Guys who have dated a lot of crappy, ungrateful women tend to feel like there is no point in treating a woman like she's special until she has proven that she is. The problem with that is that you're going to have a hard time convincing a good woman that you're a good man if you're walking around with a chip on your shoulder and treating her like she's no one important until she does something to prove her "worth." No woman with any amount of self-respect is going to put up with that, and then you're left with a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I also think your own relationship preferences are important. I am fully aware that I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I am perfectly comfortable being the woman and letting whatever man I am with be the man in the relationship. I believe in the concept of masculine and feminine energy, and that is what I prefer. I am attracted to confident, take-charge men who can make their own decisions and not feel like they have to be ruled by whatever is currently socially acceptable. "Equality" is for civil rights discussions. Acknowledging that we are not "equal" in a private, romantic relationship doesn't mean saying one of us is better or more important than the other; it's just kind of a fact that two people who are mentally, physically, and emotionally different are, by definition, not equal in a relationship that succeeds or fails based on your willingness and ability to support each other's mental, physical, and emotional needs.

I like when a man does the asking and the paying. I have more respect for him. I want to treat him differently. I want to make him feel like a man. If he asks me out and then looks at me when the check comes like he expects me to pay, then I feel like he just wants to be friends, and that's how I'm going to treat him. I do believe that if a woman asks a man out, she should be prepared to pay. It's just rude not to.

See the problem with this for guys not all women are onboard with your mindset. I was raised to always pay which was how I dealt with it when I was young. But then I dated women who pretty much abused the fact that you treat them and don't follow your system of helping a man feel as such, and just take advantage. Then there were women who get straight up offended because they take it as if you are implying they are helpless.

So at this point for a guy it is a damned if you do and damned if you don't. I went on a date and the girl did the grab her purse to offer to pay I said no I got it, but she insisted, so I let her pay her half. I ran into her a couple of month after that and asked what happened because we had a great date, she told me she thought I was cheap cause I let her pay.

So like I said for guys it is rough because a lot a women want their cake and want to eat it too.

all of them.

On the first few dates, I always offer to pay for my portion and sincerely would if they said okay. I've found that most men want to pay for the first few dates so if it's progressed, I'll just grab the bill before they can say anything!

Thank you! I understand where this notion came from the "old days" where men were always the bread winner, but this is 2013. Young women make the same salary as men during their 20's (starting salaries are pretty much equal despite whatever media outlet wants you to believe).

A strong woman willing to pay for a date makes her much more attractive in my eyes. Also means they are financially independent (which is very key for me personally).

Then again, I'm not one of those "nice guys who pays for everything" when it comes to dating. Ironically, the dates where we split, I usually end up "farther"... almost makes it counter-intuitive.

Guess the old saying that woman don't know what they old is sound and true :P