Absence Before Marriage

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  • frankizoy
    frankizoy Posts: 83 Member
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    this is how i think of it, if a guy really loved you, he'd be willing to wait. :)
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
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    This thread is still on?! Why?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Why deny what is great (as long as you stay safe?)!

    lol. That is ironic on a weight loss website. :laugh:
  • amandajones1978
    amandajones1978 Posts: 140
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    Wow, that escalated quickly...


    Whether someone believes in sex or no sex before marriage is entirely up to them and neither should be judged for it. Everyone has different beliefs and if it works for them, more power to em!

    I think this whole name-calling is ridiculous, why can we not have an adult conversation without resorting to second grade tactics?
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    Of course I judge people according to their actions. Murderers, bad. People who don't pick up their dog's poop, bad. I don't judge people by who they sleep with, and I don't think anyone should. People who judge others according to who they sleep with, bad.

    Who are you to tell others what to judge and what not to judge? Maybe someone else would come into this thread saying they don't think it's bad not to pick up your dog's poop.

    That is the whole point. What is right, and what is wrong.

    It is wrong for anyone to tell anyone what they can and can't do with their body. Everyone is born free in dignity, everyone has the right to freedom in thought and expression.
  • hez76
    hez76 Posts: 10 Member
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    Holy crap I went to sleep in 2013 and I woke up in Puritanical times!!! Do what's right for YOU. But when you do, make sure you don't attach religion, moral value, or any other sort of judgement. Leave all that stuff on the floor with your panties or you won't have any fun!!!!
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    Gotta test drive that car first, if the engine has too many miles on it just thank the salesman for the ride and move on to another vehicle.

    Now see, THIS is the only thing that gets on my nerves. I HATE that men are encouraged to "sow their wild oats" before settling down with the right (preferably virginal??...but clearly not a "well experienced") woman. If a woman does the same, she's a slut. :/

    If all the "good" girls are being abstinent and the good boys are "sowing oats"....either the good girls aren't so good, or there's a LOT of guys going to prostitutes and bringing THAT home to their new bride.....
    Sense of humor....you have none
  • deeluvly
    deeluvly Posts: 7
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    I think people should talk about this more often. I thought it was okay because everybody said it was okay. I thought it was normal to have sex before marriage. I think everyone should always be reminded that it's a sin or else they will forget.
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
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    Holy crap I went to sleep in 2013 and I woke up in Puritanical times!!! Do what's right for YOU. But when you do, make sure you don't attach religion, moral value, or any other sort of judgement. Leave all that stuff on the floor with your panties or you won't have any fun!!!!

    She said it.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    My husband and I dealt with absence before marriage. We were long distance - him the UK and me in the US, so he was absent for a big portion of our relationship. Actually, I guess *I* was absent because I moved to the UK to be with *him*. But I'm here now!





    What.

    :wink:
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    I think people should talk about this more often. I thought it was okay because everybody said it was okay. I thought it was normal to have sex before marriage. I think everyone should always be reminded that it's a sin or else they will forget.
    Who said it is a sin?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    I think this whole name-calling is ridiculous, why can we not have an adult conversation without resorting to second grade tactics?

    You just called me a second grader? Reported.
  • wlkszzq
    wlkszzq Posts: 2 Member
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    I was raised believing that premarital sex was an abomination to God.
    My husband and I met in high school (private, religious school) and started having sex the summer before college.
    I felt guilty for the next five years.
    Always thought that when we got married I'd be released (miraculously) from the guilt.
    Wrong.
    The guilt stayed with me even into marriage! Even though I had _not ever_ had sex with anyone else.
    Even though we were married.

    I've only recently released it, and we've been married 33 years.

    This is incredible. Whose God would want this?

    As I've processed my weight, I've come to believe that fat was my punishment to myself about premarital sex.
    I think I thought that I couldn't trust myself not to have an affair, so I made myself unattractive so the opportunity would never come up. When I fully released that belief in my mind (not with my husband, not with a therapist, just with my self) I was ready to lose weight.
    That was last October.
    I'm half way to loosing half of me.
    I look great already.
    And, I wouldn't have an affair.
    I'm trustworthy that way.
    It will be okay.

    So the real question is: why would someone choose abstinence?
    I think the principle informs the behavior.
    If you've found your soul mate, move on. Get married, have sex, create a wonderful life together.
    Start now.
    Right now.
    Enjoy everything.
    Everything.
  • MaydayParadeGirl
    MaydayParadeGirl Posts: 190 Member
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    I think people should talk about this more often. I thought it was okay because everybody said it was okay. I thought it was normal to have sex before marriage. I think everyone should always be reminded that it's a sin or else they will forget.

    This is totally hypocritical of you, having done it yourself and now passing judgement on others. Doesn't the bible say something against that too?
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    I need to test the goods. Lol. I'm married but we were both promiscuous. We fell in lust and still are :devil:
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I think people should talk about this more often. I thought it was okay because everybody said it was okay. I thought it was normal to have sex before marriage. I think everyone should always be reminded that it's a sin or else they will forget.

    You are aware that this isn't a "christian nation", right?
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I think people should talk about this more often. I thought it was okay because everybody said it was okay. I thought it was normal to have sex before marriage. I think everyone should always be reminded that it's a sin or else they will forget.

    This is totally hypocritical of you, having done it yourself and now passing judgement on others. Doesn't the bible say something against that too?

    I think the saying is "let he who is without sin throw the first stone".........or is it "judged not lest ye be judged"? Then again, some christians pick and choose what parts of their "rulebook" to follow and forget the rest.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    This is totally hypocritical of you, having done it yourself and now passing judgement on others. Doesn't the bible say something against that too?

    Actually, no.

    Christianity is bound in the fact that EVERYONE sins. The point most people miss, including Christians, is you can call something sin, but not judge a person. So if someone steals, does that make them bad? No, but it doesn't make what they did right.

    But we digress.
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
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    I think people should talk about this more often. I thought it was okay because everybody said it was okay. I thought it was normal to have sex before marriage. I think everyone should always be reminded that it's a sin or else they will forget.

    You are aware that this isn't a "christian nation", right?

    Are you from Australia, too? haha
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
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    What people's thoughts were about abstinence from sex before marriage?

    Would you not date someone who pledged that life style? Too old fashioned?

    Or would you feel like that was an admirable thing to do?

    Our culture is different then it use to be around that topic, but since no one seems to talk about abstaining from it, I wanted to see what others thought.

    I think of it as a gift before the person I choose to marry; but I know from experience several guys who are put off by the idea. Maybe I am old fashioned, but it's not like I go and tell others who choose not to go that way that what they're doing is wrong. It's their choice, this one has been mine.

    My personal opinion is, as long I don't get any STD's, I don't care what other people do before they meet me or after we're apart. Abstinence would not be a requirement for me. Most people fall in love several times in their lives, and as long as both parties are honest about being ready/what they want/what kind of relationship they're in, I see no problem with giving oneself before making a lifetime commitment (or without any commitment at all - not my thing, but I'm not going to deny someone the right to do as they see fit). I am almost 23 and have not had sex yet - but that's not part of a pledge to stay abstinent; I'll know when I'm ready and when I'm with the right person, and that hasn't yet been the case. It wouldn't be a turn-off either, assuming that (like myself) this person had just preferred to wait as opposed to done it for religious reasons. I am non-religious, and I don't think a relationship with someone who is abstaining for religious reasons would work out; I don't think a relationship with conflicting core values could work. I could be wrong.

    The other thing is, I'm not all that sure about getting married. Next month my parents will celebrate their 28th wedding anniversary (first marriage for both of them) so you'd think I'd have more respect for marriage - but instead I look at my friends' parents and see a more common picture: "life" commitments gone down the drain in (usually) less than 20 years. Some divorces are good and necessary, but it seems like a lot of people just can't get it right. Then I look at some of my friends who have same-sex partners, and they can't get married at all; I don't expect them to wait forever to have intimacy and closeness. When a life commitment can be negated, and can be so easily denied to those who want it, it makes marriage look completely worthless to me. It's only available to some, and people still beat on, cheat on, and break up with someone they promised to spend their lives with. Maybe I will get married, but since I don't expect to, I'm simply going to trust my gut on when I'm ready and who I really want to share that with.

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