Men: Oblivious to Flirting.

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  • _Moose51_
    _Moose51_ Posts: 86
    I am oblivious, I always assume that woman are being nice. I guess I am brick to the head kind of guy.
  • mmuzzatti
    mmuzzatti Posts: 704 Member
    I don't realize that I was being hit on till we start having sex then I realize that she was hitting on me...who knew?

    (Of course I am talking about my wife.....Her: Want some? Me: OK.)
  • FarAway02
    FarAway02 Posts: 211
    Yes and yes... I recently had a girl repeatedly try catch my boyfriend's eye/smile at him, laugh with him etc etc etc..... he had no clue. But if a guy so much as looks at me he's all over it, lol
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    My fiance is oblivious, too! He is a super smart man who is very polite, but definitely not a flirt by any means. When women check him out or flirt with him, he is not responsive at all and if I mention it later he's incredulous! I think it's pretty funny, especially when it's a young "hot" girl. His actual "type" is very specific - he likes curvy tall girls with dark hair who are Caucasian, Asian, or black. Some petite Southern belle with blonde hair will check out his muscular physique or outright compliment his red beard etc, and he's like "ok, thanks".
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    I was that way for a long time. I think most people have a feeling when someone is flirting with them, but you don't want to be presumptuous and risk being wrong, so you just pretend to be clueless and hope that if they're really interested, they'll be more obvious about it at some point.

    These days, I just try being honest. If I find someone attractive or funny or interesting, I tell him that. If he picks up on it and follows through, great. If he doesn't, I assume it's because he's not interested, clueless, or missing a set of testicles. In any case, not that big of a deal, especially if it's someone I just met.

    Hey this is well said. I have friends who tell me when a guy is flirting but its usually a guy I wouldn't look twice at. Im also not in that frame of mind, as in Im not looking, so Its easy to shrug flirting off.If I was interested you bet your toosh Id notice. Unfortunately Im not interested in many.

    In real life my way of flirting is being quiet and using my eyes, they do the "cartoon" All glossy and shine like Diamonds
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Could it be that some women are being over -sensitive to normal, friendly behavior? (Did you SEE how she grabbed his arm when he almost fell? Did you SEE how she looked RIGHT AT HIM when they were talking?!?)

    Or, are some women bad at flirting that they think that something like putting Sweet n' Low in your tea for you is some overt display of desire? Or, putting an ice cube in hot coffee to cool it faster.

    Or that some guys are oblivious?

    Or a combination of the three?

    Also, I would think that context would play a part. For example, I am less likely to recognize flirting at work - where flirtation is not expected and not common.
  • SteveK279
    SteveK279 Posts: 134 Member
    Definitely oblivious most of the time - it's becoming a regular occurrence that friends (and usually female ones) tell me I was being flirted with. I guess inside the skinnier me is still the same old fat me...I'm surprised he still fits ;)
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    I jut show them my boobs.

    Works for me.

    See, this is where I struggle...since we are on a weight loss sight I would probably assume that this is the start of a before/after set of pics or maybe even and look at my progress. I am here to support people on their journey.

    Note: any ladies that would like to give this experiment a try you can PM or kik me... :bigsmile: It might be interesting to see how it plays out...
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    I think woman believe men are oblivious because time and time again we will think a girl is flirting with us, then when we start flirting we are met with.. "Whoa buddy, I was just being nice".. so now most guys are apprehensive to think woman are flirting with them because we think everything is flirty but try not to cross a line until we are sure.. which in some cases we like CLEAR signs.

    Woman hold all the power, why do you hide the flirtiness.. just be open and direct.. guys don't want to scavenger hunt around your meanings.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    They say they are oblivious, but they're really banging her behind your back. They lie.
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    Yea, most of us are.
  • bahrainbel_2
    bahrainbel_2 Posts: 79
    I like my boyfriend getting flirted with and hit on by other women, it makes me feel good that he's with me.
  • gravity357
    gravity357 Posts: 5
    I'm guilty of being oblivious...
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    I think woman believe men are oblivious because time and time again we will think a girl is flirting with us, then when we start flirting we are met with.. "Whoa buddy, I was just being nice".. so now most guys are apprehensive to think woman are flirting with them because we think everything is flirty but try not to cross a line until we are sure.. which in some cases we like CLEAR signs.

    Woman hold all the power, why do you hide the flirtiness.. just be open and direct.. guys don't want to scavenger hunt around your meanings.

    This sounds like a reasonable assessment. I may have developed an allergy to subtlety. The other option is to respond in an even more subtle way which tends to annoy the woman, as well.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    i joke around with everyone and i think a lot of folks assume im flirty. when it happens to me i am clueless.

    so yes i agree, men are stupid and women are crazy
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I have always been oblivious to,flirting. My friends would have to point it out and I still didn't,t get it. After I got engaged, I was informed by friends and family about a few other guys who had been flirting and hitting on me. I never saw it.

    "Oblivious" isn't just for men.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I think part of it is you don't want to mistake someone 'being nice' for 'flirting'. I think when it get to another level it's more obvious.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
    I actually have a decent radar for it now at least in real life (not online).

    The real kicker is I have been hit on by a few gay men and had no idea until they invited me out to a gay bar. I guess I don't still don't have that radar up at all.
  • gravity357
    gravity357 Posts: 5
    I jut show them my boobs.

    Works for me.

    Thank you for being blunt about it.
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    I am very oblivious to it. I've had women hitting on me at gigs and it all just went over my head. I have had the guitar players wife have to tell me numerous times that a girl was flirting with me. I haven't been single though in over 20 years, so I really don't recognize the signs at all.
  • aerochic42
    aerochic42 Posts: 843 Member
    Even when single I feel in the female oblivious to guys flirting catergory. I've always been comfortable around guys and would be the guy to girl translator for my friends. I grew up a tomboy with three brother and parents who were the Boy Scout leaders for their troop. I got dragged along to many events because we lived in the country and my parent didn't want me to be home alone for the weekend in case something happened. I'm also an engineer. The only way I could ever tell if it was someone new and they were blantently obvious. If it was a guy I knew for a while, I totally didn't catch on. Ask my husband, he kind of thinks it's funny
  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
    I don't recall ever being flirted with so either people don't or I'm oblivious.

    Well ok arguably once, in school. But I'm not sure her showing off her legs, staring at me and batting her eyes and a few minutes later arranging for me to receive a note along the line of "X thinks you're hot, do you like her. [ ] Yes, [ ] No" qualifies as flirting. I'm pretty sure if you get a questionnaire it's beyond that to an overt expression of interest.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    I am oblivious to almost everything.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    When I am flirting, they're completely oblivious.

    When I'm not flirting, they're convinced I am.

    :grumble:

    I thought I was just bad at it.
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    I must admit that I am totally oblivious to flirting or any kind of subtlety or body language. But in my case it's not just a "man" thing. =P
  • reztib
    reztib Posts: 151 Member
    Back when I was in college a girl asked me out to coffee. I told her I didn't like coffee. I can't believe I was so dumb.
  • GermanicKnight
    GermanicKnight Posts: 445
    What is this flirting you speak of? Is it a spell or some magic?!?! I must study this more closely!
  • pushyourself14
    pushyourself14 Posts: 275 Member
    Good lesson then ladies - Go obvious to avoid oblivious.

    Just pull your tits out and shake em around a bit. That'll get 'em.

    hahhaha
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Yes, I hear it all the time that I am.
  • pushyourself14
    pushyourself14 Posts: 275 Member
    When I am flirting, they're completely oblivious.

    When I'm not flirting, they're convinced I am.

    :grumble:

    I thought I was just bad at it.

    Ahh I have a similar problem sometimes. :P

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