What's a "normal" love life?

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Replies

  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    Normal love life = using a feather to arouse your partner.
    Abnormal love life = using the whole ostrich.
  • BigDougie1211
    BigDougie1211 Posts: 3,531 Member
    As sincere as some of the posters on this thread no doubt are - there are some serious bull****ers posting too.
  • ScarletShopaholic
    ScarletShopaholic Posts: 169 Member
    Normal should make you both happy, and if one persons sex drive is higher than the others - compromise I guess (not a sexy word I know) but never for somebody with a high sex drive and daily (or more) for somebody with a low sex drive isn't going to work in my opinion. My partner doesn't initiate very often, he has problems with intimacy and trust within a long term relationship (I read a lot!). So every so often I just go for it lol, maybe not as often as I would like, but enough to keep me happy, and hopefully him too :smile:
  • wifeymou1112
    wifeymou1112 Posts: 129 Member
    I haven't gotten any in months.



    But my husband is in another state. I can't imagine willingly going that long willingly/for any reason aside from distance/general inability to have sex. Like I have a date book and I am literally counting down the days til he's home. I've made sure my schedule was cleared for a week after, I've got all the take out menus lined up by the phone, and the frig will be stocked. I've got an outfit picked out, got my hair done, got a wax appointment set up, and I'm looking for a nice new pair of heels.

    No one is leaving the apartment for-

    ...wait. What was the question?

    Hehehehe :o)
  • bernied262
    bernied262 Posts: 882 Member
    we have been married for 18 yrs, in the early years, we were at it like rabbits. Now, we dont really have a 'schedule', sometimes it can be 5 times a week, other times 5 times a month. Neither of us are worried about that though, we just grab an opportunity when we can :)
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I can relate to an earlier post on this thread. After celebrating 20yrs of marriage and 4 children later (aged 5-15) I can say my husband and I are so far off the bell curves its crazy! I'm 43 and he's 54 and honest to goodness we have uninhibited sex at least 5 days a week. We are experiencing what I'm calling our "sexual renaissance". We've gone through all the phases in a married sex life including a 3yr dry spell. I can honestly say we are having the best sex ever, bar none. The key? Lose the inhibitions, communicate your needs/wants/fantasies openly and honestly and don't be afraid to try new things in and out of the bedroom to keep it interesting. I can also tell you a happy, active sex life extends its feel good mood to all areas of your life.

    This is us, except we are empty nesters, so no kids to have to work around. 23 years together and everything else in this post is dead on for my husband and me.
  • ruth3698
    ruth3698 Posts: 305 Member
    Just once a week to once every two weeks:( I have 2 year that refuses to sleep by herself(our rookie parent fault) and will cry her head off if I'm not the one putting her to sleep.Once in a while we will get lucky and she will fall asleep on the couch lol.
    ..then we have to be super quiet so not to wake her.I so very much miss those uninihibited days of old.
  • greenmonstergirl
    greenmonstergirl Posts: 619 Member
    So I've noticing this is a pretty open group, so I thought I'd ask for some feedback. I know married couples joke about not having sex, but seriously, what's normal? Weekly? Monthly? YEARLY?

    My ex husband would only sleep with me every few months, when for me, I wanted it twice a day or at least daily....turns out he was having an affair....

    Have to say...if one person is not getting it as often as they want, this is usually what happens. Life is short, live for yourself!
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Hell normal for us is daily. Not normal would be every second day. Normal is whatever it is to each couple
  • CarlaRG
    CarlaRG Posts: 264
    sex? what's that????
  • atb0821
    atb0821 Posts: 458 Member
    Now that I'm in a happy marriage, it ranges from 3 to 7+ a week. In a previous unhappy marriage, it had to be twice a week or else I got the dreaded silent treatment....but I didn't want it at all at that time.
  • lsapphire
    lsapphire Posts: 297 Member
    Every couple is different. Lots of outside influences affect how often. Stress, kids, and sometimes medical issues. Just keep the communication as open and honest as you can.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    There are basically three stages in the sex life of a married couple:

    1st stage is "Everywhere Sex" -- You can't wait to get your hands on each other. On the kitchen counter, the couch, in the backyard, garage. There are no boundaries.

    2nd stage is "Bedroom Sex" -- You're iin bed; you're both awake; you figure "What the heck. Let's give it a tumble."

    3rd stage is "Hallway Sex" -- You pass each other in the Hall, look at each other and say "*kitten* You".

    My wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We're somewhere between 1st and 2nd stage. We still enjoy sex together regularly, but we're not trying to find new yoga positions, so we can bring the weight machine into our repertoire.

    Haven't pulled out the "swing" in over a year.
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    I think I read somewhere that "average" for married couples under 35 is 3 times a week. My husband and I are above average.
  • bethany41h
    bethany41h Posts: 218
    I am married and no children, I'd say at least 2-3 times a week. Though there are certainly stressful times or whatever that it sometimes decreases to once a week.
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    There are basically three stages in the sex life of a married couple:

    1st stage is "Everywhere Sex" -- You can't wait to get your hands on each other. On the kitchen counter, the couch, in the backyard, garage. There are no boundaries.

    2nd stage is "Bedroom Sex" -- You're iin bed; you're both awake; you figure "What the heck. Let's give it a tumble."

    3rd stage is "Hallway Sex" -- You pass each other in the Hall, look at each other and say "*kitten* You".

    My wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We're somewhere between 1st and 2nd stage. We still enjoy sex together regularly, but we're not trying to find new yoga positions, so we can bring the weight machine into our repertoire.

    Haven't pulled out the "swing" in over a year.

    Stage 1 is where my man is at and stage 2 is where I am at. Heck I can't even cook dinner/do dishes without him trying to stick a hand up my skirt :laugh:
  • Mtfd02
    Mtfd02 Posts: 239 Member
    You all suck. :(

    lol I feel your pain!!

    I just hit 10 months and counting.

    I still gotcha beat by years
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Stage 1 is where my man is at and stage 2 is where I am at. Heck I can't even cook dinner/do dishes without him trying to stick a hand up my skirt :laugh:

    Who can blame him. Look at you.
  • dreambodin2011
    dreambodin2011 Posts: 166 Member
    Stage 1 is where my man is at and stage 2 is where I am at. Heck I can't even cook dinner/do dishes without him trying to stick a hand up my skirt :laugh:

    Who can blame him. Look at you.

    yes - that's exactly what I thought too!
  • aliciamhosein
    aliciamhosein Posts: 47
    Not married me and my bf have been together for 2yrs. normal is about once a week unfortunately because his job is so physical.... so basically I have to beg for it sometimes.lol
  • lbesaw
    lbesaw Posts: 267 Member
    "Normal" for you is whatever you and your husband are happy with. For us it was 3-4 times a week after 25 years of marriage and a "dwindling nest". During our active child-rearing years it was sometimes less depending on our children and other demands. Wanting or needing was never an issue-but that was our normal. :)
  • TruckersWifeTruckersLife
    TruckersWifeTruckersLife Posts: 408 Member
    My hubby and i try and have it as much as we can he is an interstate truck driver he is home every second night but sometimes he is so exhausted but there is always the next morning when he has had a good nights sleep
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    There are basically three stages in the sex life of a married couple:

    1st stage is "Everywhere Sex" -- You can't wait to get your hands on each other. On the kitchen counter, the couch, in the backyard, garage. There are no boundaries.

    2nd stage is "Bedroom Sex" -- You're iin bed; you're both awake; you figure "What the heck. Let's give it a tumble."

    3rd stage is "Hallway Sex" -- You pass each other in the Hall, look at each other and say "*kitten* You".

    My wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We're somewhere between 1st and 2nd stage. We still enjoy sex together regularly, but we're not trying to find new yoga positions, so we can bring the weight machine into our repertoire.

    Haven't pulled out the "swing" in over a year.


    This old couple is between 1 and 2 also. Once the kids went bye bye, then there was more time for us.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    So I've noticing this is a pretty open group, so I thought I'd ask for some feedback. I know married couples joke about not having sex, but seriously, what's normal? Weekly? Monthly? YEARLY?
    The "experts" define a marriage as sexless if it occurs once a month or less.

    I don't know what normal is. I'd do it every day if my partner were up for it (ha ha). We're not married, but living together eight years, so close enough. He lets stress get in the way, so it's rarely as often as I would like.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    normal is just a word. It means almost nothing.
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    Every couple is different. It's whatever works best for both people and it's a matter of compromise. Don't compare yourself to other couples...because you aren't the other couple. You're you, he's him and you have to find what works best for you both.
  • iamkass
    iamkass Posts: 122 Member
    As long as the two people involved agree on what their normal is, it's okay. If two people have really low sex drives, once a year could be fine for them. The problem lies where one person wants it everyday and the other person wants it every year.

    If there isn't that disconnect, there isn't a problem.
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
    Not much going on round here these days as the kids are always about and theres no where else for the baby to sleep but our room. I don't really have a high sex drive so it doesn't bother me too much but I do agree the more you have sex the more you want it so maybe if I can move to a bigger place someday with walls thicker than cardboard things might get a bit more exciting lol.

    For now I'm content with showing love in other ways.....romantic meals in, running candlelit baths for one another etc. It all helps keep the love alive
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    Stage 1 is where my man is at and stage 2 is where I am at. Heck I can't even cook dinner/do dishes without him trying to stick a hand up my skirt :laugh:

    Who can blame him. Look at you.
    No Kidding.
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    Stage 1 is where my man is at and stage 2 is where I am at. Heck I can't even cook dinner/do dishes without him trying to stick a hand up my skirt :laugh:

    Who can blame him. Look at you.
    No Kidding.

    :blushing:

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