What's a "normal" love life?
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I've been married to the same wonderful woman for 17 years and I still want her like I did all those years ago. We normally were 2-3 times a week until she started with the mid life change. Now we are once a week at the least. Hopefully after she is on the other side of her female issue we can kick it up a little. I'll be honest, I'm wanting the 2-3 times weekly but I love her so much I'll wait it out. If we don't get back to the 2-3 times a week I'll still have her.0
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I'm the oddball. Married 18 years. We get it done 3-5 times a week. At least one is of the epic throwdown variety. My wife is a trooper. :bigsmile:
My drive quite high, much more so than hers though she's likely still higher than average. I get suicidal after 48 hours without.
Edit: oh, and four kids, including a couple of teens.
^THIS! HA!
I have been with my BF for 6 years next week, and we haven't slowed down one bit since we've been dating. We probably average 5-7 days a week, but anything less than 3x a week and I start having issues lol. No kids yet, but I don't think that would slow us down much either lol.......OH! and epic throwdown variety sex is often the best :bigsmile:0 -
Ideally for me it would be a couple times a week. However, my soon-to-be husband is a farmer which means crazy hours in the spring and the fall. Sometimes work makes it lucky to have it 1 a month. I hate it when we have it maybe monthly, but I think every relationship goes thru a dry spell at some point.
if this is an ongoing thing, then I think it deserves a discussion. Try to spice things up!!0 -
Normal is whatever normal is for you. My husband and I have been together for over 15 years and we have 4 children. We ARE madly in love with each other even though our sex life can range from several times a day to once every couple of months. Even though we can go long stretches without sex at times, we do substitute it with other means of intimacy such as cuddling and holding each others' hands. My children joke with my husband and I saying that we "suck each others' faces off" because we just kiss a lot and that is ok if kissing is all we need for intimacy at that time. We are not only partners in the bedroom but we are partners for life, we are best friends and we enjoy spending as much time together as possible and every minute doesn't have to be sexual. It really depends on the couple whether or not you need actual sex all of the time to keep your relationship going. Just because you are having a lot of sex doesn't mean that your relationship will work outside of the bedroom and vice versa. "Normal" is what "normal" is for you and only you.0
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Haven't pulled out the "swing" in over a year.
Time to dust off that swing and play school reccess !0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??0
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Ideally for me would be night and morning.... with occasional randomness thrown in. I have discovered the least I'm able to accept is 3 times a week.0
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All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
8 hour work day leaves 16 hours for fun0 -
There are basically three stages in the sex life of a married couple:
1st stage is "Everywhere Sex" -- You can't wait to get your hands on each other. On the kitchen counter, the couch, in the backyard, garage. There are no boundaries.
2nd stage is "Bedroom Sex" -- You're iin bed; you're both awake; you figure "What the heck. Let's give it a tumble."
3rd stage is "Hallway Sex" -- You pass each other in the Hall, look at each other and say "*kitten* You".
My wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We're somewhere between 1st and 2nd stage. We still enjoy sex together regularly, but we're not trying to find new yoga positions, so we can bring the weight machine into our repertoire.
Haven't pulled out the "swing" in over a year.
I would have to say I'm in stage 2, possibly creeping up on stage 3 on occassion. :laugh:0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
This!!! My fiance and I do not even have cable and sometimes our TV is turned off for over a month at a time. Also, no kids and never will have kids.0 -
I would say as often as you two can fit it in. Only been married 5 yrs it slowed down some from the first year but we have a soon to be 4 year old. It varies some times once every other week if were super busy if not then a couple times a day or at least once a day. You gotta keep it fresh and exciting though or it gets boring.0
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Pretty much daily and I've been with my hubby for 12 1/2 years and have been married for 3....so to those who say marriage wrecks the sex....I say it didn't do a DAMN thing to mine except make it better!!!!!! :bigsmile:0
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You all suck.
Yes sucking is a part of it hehehe0 -
All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).0 -
As others noted, the time frame can vary and still be normal. However, if he is never or rarely initiating or pursuing you, then that is a major red flag.0
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Typical is something like just over 2x a week.
Aparently, I am very, very abnormal.
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#frequency0 -
Morning, nooners, quickies....anytime0
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Wow! This blew up overnight! Some posts made me laugh, some were sadly very relatable, and some were sadly unrelatable! :ohwell:0
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All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).
Well, I don't have that problem... I can have 1 (more sometimes) in 10 minutes.... so what if it isn't for you? and I'm good with an hour or more at night. I've been with guys who need more time.. they had no problem with short play and considered it extented foreplay for when we had more time later. I mean you can't exactly take 40 minutes in the dressing room.... O_o0 -
10 years and 4 young kids later it is weekly to bi-weekly. We have had gaps of a few months and other times 10-15 times per week. Results vary but I can definitely correlate the large gaps in time to when stress was high and or we were upset with each other.0
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There are basically three stages in the sex life of a married couple:
1st stage is "Everywhere Sex" -- You can't wait to get your hands on each other. On the kitchen counter, the couch, in the backyard, garage. There are no boundaries.
2nd stage is "Bedroom Sex" -- You're iin bed; you're both awake; you figure "What the heck. Let's give it a tumble."
3rd stage is "Hallway Sex" -- You pass each other in the Hall, look at each other and say "*kitten* You".
My wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We're somewhere between 1st and 2nd stage. We still enjoy sex together regularly, but we're not trying to find new yoga positions, so we can bring the weight machine into our repertoire.
Haven't pulled out the "swing" in over a year.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Me & mine have been together 20+ years, married 17 of them, and we shoot for at least 3 times a week! Sometimes it's more, sometimes less. At least one time a week is a pretty good throw down that can last upwards of several hours.....that's usually when the teenage daughter is out of the house on the weekend, as our younger son isn't quite old enough to completely catch on to the strange noises coming from our room.....:huh: Now if we have the whole house to ourselves, and don't have to worry about being quiet then stuff gets really wild! And a lot of the time, on those days where we don't get it in....we supplement somehow, as we both have a pretty high drive. Ever heard of a good Hand Shandy.......:bigsmile:0
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All the ladies who are saying "multiple times a day", When do you have time for a job (or is your man a two pump chump)??
I enjoy a longer session at night and a quicky (10 minutes give or take) in the morning. I don't watch tv anymore, which frees up my calendar for more enjoyable experiences. Its amazing how much time you have when you reorganize your priorities.
I would have had trouble finishing in 10 minutes when I was a teenager, now I am in my 40's. If I don't have 30+ minutes, I don't even bother and even @ 30min I consider it a quicky and feel a little rushed. Everyone is different though. Also, it is amazing how many people on here must not know what the word "foreplay" means since some people are claiming 5 times a day. I'm guessing their love life is more like grope, grab, tug, go, pump pump, done (X 5).
Well, I don't have that problem... I can have 1 (more sometimes) in 10 minutes.... so what if it isn't for you? and I'm good with an hour or more at night. I've been with guys who need more time.. they had no problem with short play and considered it extented foreplay for when we had more time later. I mean you can't exactly take 40 minutes in the dressing room.... O_o
Wait a second... Something just occurred to me.. Do women count the sessions or the O's? In other words, does 5 times a day mean 5 sessions or 5 O's? That is two COMPLETELY different things.
To your question: No, it is not all about me, however why would the woman I love want to have a regular session where I would never be able to finish? It doesn't matter if it happens here or there, but I don't think either partner should set up the other to feel unsatisfied.
Yeah, you are right, but the dressing room is an excitement thing that sometimes can make things move faster. Oh yeah.. in an elevator too.0 -
3-5 times a week. Sometimes more if my hubby's got the energy!! Let's just say he's got some pretty jealous friends who are luck if they get it once a month....0
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Yeah.....we have issues. :ohwell: I've tried to talk to him about it, telling him with my self esteem issues I don't feel wanted or attractive & he gets defensive & it goes nowhere.
He don't wanna hear dat! He wants you to pull his pants down and get busy :bigsmile:
Pretend you have self esteem. Then maybe you will acquire it.
I have such a fear of rejection. I just can't. I know I shouldn't feel that way but he chooses to avoid me so it's hard to suck it up & go for it.
Jump his bones girlfriend...I'm sure he would love it if you did!0 -
Depending on where you both are in life and "in life" your shagging patterns may (but not necessarily go like this)
Making babies --
Like you were trying to save the world
Kids very young --
ehhh never. FFS, there is sleep to be caught up on!!
Kids watching Thomas --
Once a week very quietly and 5 days of giggling between yourselves afterwards
Kids staying with grandparents --
Once a day at least
One of your parents pass away --
Sod all for a few weeks and then a few subsequent weeks of shagging like the survival of the human race depends on it
You / he / both of you get a promotion --
2 nights of the wild WILD thing then a week of nothing as you stay up late figuring out what to do with the money
Buy a house --
shag
Sell a house --
fret (so no shagging)
Of course everyone is different so your responses may be completely the opposite. My point is 'there is no normal'. There are just people.
I love it!!0 -
Sometimes a few times a weeks, sometimes it might be a few weeks (or more in rare instances) when there is nothing. Some times it is a few times a day. Just depends on what is going on and how crazy life can be. Work to become good at enjoy quickies and save long, romantic times for when you can get time away.
And learn to enjoy *kitten*....a lot. Both of you.0 -
Normal is what works for both partners and changes based on age and family life. Before my daughter, 5 times a week was normal. after the baby, well once a week was a bonus.
Stop comparing to others and start asking yourself is this working me, is this working for hubby. If its not then work to change it.0 -
Wow! Im surprised how long some of you are able to go without. I need it at LEAST 3X a week. Id prefer everday but with his work schedule its not always possible lol. But thats me personally. I think its between you and your partner. Decide what works for both of you.0
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